Saving the World

"Mua ha ha ha ha!!" Giovanni laughed, scaring Ash half to death.

"Who the heck are you? And how did I get here? WHERE'S PIKACHU?!"

"Forget your Pikachu, child. You are about to have more important things to deal with."

"Nothing's more important than Pikachu!" Ash folded his arms. "And you still haven't told me who you are!"

"My name is Giovanni, and I am your enemy...Chosen One." Giovanni laughed darkly.

"Aw MAN!" Ash said. "Does _everyone_ know?"

"..." Giovanni sweatdropped. "Are you not concerned about the sword in my hands?"

Ash blinked. "Oh. How cool. It's a nice-looking sword, though black isn't really my color..."

Giovanni took a few deep breaths. "Are you not concerned about what I am going to _do_ with it?"

"Oh. I thought it was just for decoration, like those axe things people put above fireplaces...that's a really stupid thing to do, now that I think of it..." Ash held his chin, musing.

"No, Chosen One, I assure you, this sword is very...very...real." He swung it dangerously close to Ash's neck.

"Heeeey, cut it out! You shouldn't play with sharp things like that! Moron, you could kill someone that way!"

Giovanni took a few more deep breaths. "That is precicely my intention."

Ash gasped. "Hey, that's not nice! Who the heck gave you that thing, anyways?"

"The Powers of Darkness."

"Well, I'll have to kick their butts some day. Putting a weapon like that in the hands of an evil moron like you..." Ash nodded his head vigorously.

"Yes, I'm evil. That's why they gave it to me," he explained slowly.

"Well, DUH! I'm not THAT stupid!"

"You could have fooled me."

"Heeeeyyyy!!"

"Now look, you little brat, I--Giovanni, evil leader of Team Rocket--am going to kill you--Chosen One, herald of light. Do you understand?"

"Well why didn't ya just say so?" Ash said.

Giovanni sweatdropped.

"Why all the aura of mystery?" Ash continued. "Why all the melodrama? You could just come out and say it, ya know. Because your little 'I'm-not-evil' act? It needs work."

"I tried to say it, you little fool!!!"

"Hey, it's not nice to call people names like that!"

"I _KNOW_ it is not nice! I do it for that purpose! _I_ am not nice!!!" Giovanni yelled.

"Well that's not nice," Ash said, putting his hands on his hips.

Giovanni massaged his temples. "Please tell me you are just doing this to annoy me. I refuse to believe my arch-rival is so stupid."

Ash blinked. "I thought my arch-rival was Gary. Huh."

"That child you squabble with is simply your rival. I am your _arch_-rival."

"There's a difference?"

"Yes. Your silly friend does not want to kill you. Although I would not blame _anyone_ for wanting to kill you..."

"Ah. Thanks for the clarification. Now can you do a little exposition for me, please? I like knowing why someone's trying to kill me. I think. Actually--" He put his hand behind his head and smiled sheepishly. "--this is my first time."

"That is a miracle," Giovanni muttered.

"What?"

"I want to kill you because of a prophecy," Giovanni said.

"You'd kill someone based just on a prophecy?! That's evil!"

"THAT'S THE POINT!"

"I've only heard of two other evil people who'd kill someone because of a prophecy, and they were both fictional characters!" Ash exclaimed.

"Well, now you know of three. If I do not battle you now, you shall defeat me when I try to defeat the world with my clone army."

"Isn't that getting old?"

"What do you mean?"

"Clone armies."

Giovanni straightened himself up. "I thought it was _quite_ original."

Ash sighed. "Guess defeating clone armies is my new job description. I'll probably be doing it for the rest of my life."

"Your life is going to end right now, Chosen One."

"Why? What from? And can't you call me by my _name_?"

"I'm going to KILL you, you infinitly stupid little brat!!!" Giovanni screamed.

"Oh yeah. Sorry. Forgot." Ash shrugged. "How?"

"With the glowing dark sword in my hands, what _else_?"

"Who am I to know what evil people have goin' on in their minds?" Ash asked.

"Look into the face of your death, Chosen One!!"

"....Dang, you're ugly."

"ARRRGGHH!!" Giovanni screamed.

"What? Is your sword broken? Let me see..."

*crash*

"Eh heh... Oops..."

"You illimitable moron, what have you DONE?!" Giovanni screeched, chutching the broken pieces of his sword.

"I didn't mean to, Mr. Evil Arch-rival Giovanni-person!"

Giovanni held up a shaking fist, then drew it back. "The prophecy says I shall have this sword in our battle... How can this be?"

"Aw, your prophecy isn't gonna come true?" Ash asked. "Oh, I'm sorry." He patted Giovanni on the back.

Giovanni whirled. "Time for plan B! Charizards, Fire Spin!"

Ash blanched. "Oooh boy, this does not look goo--what the heck?"

Giovanni screamed in fustration. "Not a SHIELD!!"

"Does anybody know how I'm doing this?" Ash asked. "I have no idea how I'm doing this."

"I'VE HAD IT!!!" Giovanni screamed. "Everybody, ATTACK!!!"

There was a short slience.

"Do we _have_ to?" a voice echoed.

Giovanni screamed so loudly that it woke Misty, Brock, and Pikachu, asleep in a Pokemon Center situated in the middle of nowhere.

"Anyone know what _that_ is?" Brock asked.

"No clue," Misty said, settling back down.

"Pikapi," Pikachu said with a decisive nod.

Back in Viridian, Giovanni was in a heap on the floor, sobbing.

"Hey, Blue-haired--Oh, it's you, James! Long time no see! And Jessie! Hi!"

"...Twerp, you are aware we're supposed to be your enemies, right?" Jessie said slowly.

"Yeah. Why? Is this about my helping you escape from prison and arrest all those times?"

"WHAT?!" Jessie screeched.

"Oh, so _you're_ the guy who sent the file! Thanks, twerp!"

"Anyway, would you guys call the nearest mental hospital? I think your boss has had a breakdown."

"All righty, twerp. But we'll be back for da Pikachu."

Ash stifled his laughter. "Oooh, scary. I'm gonna see if I can teleport. See ya!"

"...That twerp is very strange."

"You said it, Jessie."

A few hours later, in the Pokemon Center, Misty was yelling at Ash.

"Where were you last night?!"

"Saving the world, I think. Why?"

"Ash Ketchum, that is the most transparent lie I have ever heard! You couldn't save the world!--Okay, there was that one time with the Lugia and everything, but still!"

"Believe what you want, Misty. I'm hungry. When's breakfast?"

"Pikapi!" Pikachu called from across the hall, perched next to a huge pair of waffles.

Ash ran, laughing, to his Pikachu's side. "Can we split these or should I get some for me?"

"Pika," Pikachu said dismissively.

Brock shook his head. "Those two..."

Ash just grinned. "If you guys don't get here soon, there'll be none left!"

"AAASSSHHH!"

The End

~*~