Well, well, well, would you look at this. A PJO story. Haven't done one of these in awhile :)

Okay, so here's the general idea: In Spanish, we were instructed to write a skit that would be "performed" by the class. I made the (sort of) mistake of asking two of my friends to give me an idea for mine since I couldn't think of anything. The result? My friend's crack OTP: Nicogranate (NicoxPomegranate). This is the result (in English) of the craziness that is my friend.

Sort of crackish... But I'll let you decide! Also, not slash.

Enjoy!


Nico: It was one of those things that I had somehow always known; always hanging on the edge of my consciousness, coaxing me to listen to it. Every time I saw her, that thing burrowed farther into my mind, becoming more and more clear. And that's when I knew: I loved her. Her luscious red hair, and shiny red skin, and—

Percy: Whoa, hold on there Nico. Who are you talking about?

Nico: (Half swoons) Her.

Percy: (Blinks) And who is her?

Nico: The true love of my life. The one, the only...pomegranate! (Pulls a pomegranate from behind his back)

Percy: Um...Nico?

Nico: Percy, meet Shelly. Shelly, meet Percy. Say hi, Shelly.

Shelly: ...

Annabeth: Hey, Percy. Nico. What's going on?

Percy: Nico's in love with a pomegranate.

Annabeth: Excuse me?

Nico: Annabeth, meet Shelly. Shelly, meet Annabeth. Say hi, Shelly.

Shelly: ...

Percy: See what I mean? He's gone crazy!

Annabeth: (In a whisper) Calm down. I'll figure it out. (Louder) So, Nico. How did you and Shelly meet?

Nico: Oh, I first saw her down the aisle at a grocery store. The way she glistened in the fake light was so stunning, I had to get a closer look. I took her in my hand, we started talking, and went out for dinner together. Would you like to tell them the rest, Shelly?

Shelly: ...

Nico: (Smiles happily) And the rest is history!

Annabeth: Um...very nice.

Nico: Oh, she is.

Annabeth: (In a whisper) Percy, go get Will.

Percy: What? What does Will have to do—

Annabeth: Just do it! So, Shelly, what do you think about Nico? (Pretends to listen intently)

Shelly: ...

Nico: (Tears up) Aw, that's so sweet, Shelly. I feel the same way. What...you do? Oh, me too, Shelly! Let's always be together! (Starts kissing the pomegranate)

Percy: (Runs up panting) I got him!

Will: Um...why's Nico kissing a pomegranate?

Annabeth: I think he's under some kind of spell. Fix him. Please.

Will: That did not sound weird at all... (Slowly approaches Nico who's still making out with the pomegranate) Um...hi, Nico. What's up?

Nico: (Stops kissing pomegranate) Will, meet Shelly. Shelly, meet Will. He's a doctor. Say hi, Shelly.

Shelly: ...

Nico: (Frowns) That wasn't very nice, Shelly! Will's not mean. No, of course he's not as sweet as you! What is your problem? Of course he's just a friend!

Percy: Okay, I am officially weirded out.

Will: Okay, er...you two...just calm down.

Nico: (Utterly distraught) Calm down? Calm down?! Shelly's yelling at me, and you're telling me to calm down?

Shelly: ...

Will: All right, break it up! No fruit loop fights!

Nico: (Looks shocked) Break up? Shelly...are you serious? Why would you do that to me? I thought you loved me! (Breaks down in tears)

Lou Ellen: Would someone please explain what's going on here?

Will: (Looks relieved) Lou! Thank goodness. Nico's under some kind of spell, and we can't snap him out of it.

Lou Ellen: (Studies the sobbing Nico) Oh, this is a simple one. All he needs is a true love's kiss.

All: WHAT?!

Lou Ellen: You heard me. It'll snap him right out of it.

Percy: But...Nico doesn't have a girlfriend...

(Awkward silence)

Annabeth: (Snaps her fingers) Hazel. I'll go get her. (Runs off)

Five minutes later...

Hazel: So...why is Nico crying?

Percy: Shelly broke up with him.

Hazel: I see...

Percy: But you can kiss him and make it better.

Hazel: Um... Okay. (Tentatively walks over to Nico) Um...hey, Nico. You okay?

Nico: No! Shelly...Shelly broke up with me. She...she hates me!

Hazel: It'll be all right, Nico. Shelly doesn't know what she's doing. Here, let me make it better. (Kisses him on the forehead)

Nico: (Drops to the ground like a stone)

Will: Nico! (Checks Nico's pulse and breathing) He's still alive!

Percy: And hopefully back to normal.

Nico: (Stirs) Ungh...what happened?

Hazel: Nico! (Hugs him tightly)

Nico: (Blinks) Why am I holding a pomegranate? (Looks around the circle) And what are you all staring at?

Percy: (Jerks backward) Nothing. See you around, Nico!

(Everyone leaves in a hurry)

Nico: (Blinks again. Looks at the pomegranate in his hand) Huh. Wonder what that was all about. Those guys are weird. Then again, I'm talking to a pomegranate... At least no one can see me, right? (Stuffs pomegranate in his pocket for potential later Underworld use and walks away)


So what did you think? Weird? OOC? Let me know in a review! Constructive criticism is accepted and appreciated.

I know a lot of you are probably mad at me for not updating my chapter PJO stories... And I apologize. I promise I will never publish a chapter story again without finishing it first.

Don't forget to check out my other (much less cracky) stories!