Henry knew as soon as he agreed to help Eliza Dooley change her image, his life was never going to be the same.
And he was absolutely right.
The problem was that he could never tell whether it was for the better or for the worse. On the one hand, she drove him up a wall with her antics and her inability to pay attention. On the other hand, she was warm and affectionate, and more than that, she was fun.
When he said she could each lunch in his office with him, he knew the peace and quiet would be coming to an end. But in a way, he looked forward to it. He would no longer be able to enjoy the solitude and silence of his lunch hour, and instead his time would be filled by her endless love affairs and modern slang that was beyond him.
One lunch hour, as he sat waiting for her, staring into his eggplant and spinach salad blandly, Eliza stormed in with her usual vitality, looking as though she was ready to hit something. Anything.
"You will NOT believe what just happened!" Eliza said, plopping into the seat opposite him with her usual lack of grace.
"Eliza, I'm sure it's nothing to be so worked up over," Henry said patiently as he put his fork down. Eliza was most definitely more interesting than his salad.
Eliza sighed loudly, putting her hand up to her face. "Henry, you just don't get it, Carol from accounting, you know, the mousy one that could really use an eyebrow pluck? She said my shoes were tasteless. Tasteless! Can you believe that? She comes in every day with her 'not so vintage, actually just old' man heels, and she has the nerve to call my Prada stilettos 'TASTELESS!' She moved her hands animatedly as she gestured to her shoes, putting them on his desk for Henry to see.
"Those are very nice shoes Eliza, very tasteful," he said, hoping to restore the piece.
Eliza huffed indignantly. "Thank you Henry." The compliment seemed to end her tirade for the moment, bringing her a temporary satisfaction and calming her vanity.
However, her shoes remained on his desk for the next few minutes, to his irritation. "Aren't you uncomfortable, Eliza?" Henry tried to hint, gesturing at her feet.
Eliza shook her head as she took a sip from her coffee mug. "Nah, I totes love putting my feet up. It helps with my lumbar support, and they made us to this kind of crap in pilates all the time." She pulled a subway sandwich from her bag, taking a bite out of his messily, spreading mayonnaise all over her chin.
Henry shook his head, realizing that there was no way to get Eliza to do something she didn't want to do. In a way, he really respected that about her. Nobody was ever going to be able to control her because she would never do their bidding. "Well, Eliza, perhaps," he paused, reaching for the right words in his head. He noticed how her attention turned from her sandwich to him, her eyes glued to his face. Her gaze distracted him for a moment as he lost his train of thought.
Her eyebrow arched after a moment of silence. "Henry, spit it out. What?"
Henry shook his head, clearing his thoughts. "Perhaps you could remove your feet from my expensive and professionally designed oak desk? It is very dear to me, and I eat lunch on this every day, so if you don't mind . . ." he said, gesturing to her feet again.
The laugh that came from her was short and surprised Henry. "Henry, if you wanted me to move, you couldn't just said so earlier, it's not a big deal." Henry heaved a sigh of relief, the worry of offending her left him immediately. "But," Eliza said softly as Henry's relief turned apprehension. "You have to help me take down the skank in accounting."
While Henry should have expected Eliza to seek retribution from the woman who offended her oh-so-special shoes, he didn't expect it to involve him. "Eliza, you can't just take someone down if they don't agree with you."
"Of course you can, just look at my girl T-Swift," Eliza said, her resolve set.
Henry shook his head at her. "Eliza, no, you are no. If you're going to take a page from Ms. Swift's book, let it be to just "Shake it off.' Okay?"
Eliza muttered under her breath. After a moment she responded. "Fine, but if she says another word she is going down like Beyonce's Drunk in Love."
This will probably become a series if you guys are interested. Please leave a review so I know if this is something you would like :)
