The sky, a dull gray with white snowflakes falling from it, did nothing to improve Freddie's mood as he walked through the park. "Winter" he muttered in annoyance as he pushed passed a couple talking and headed for his spot. He came here every year around this time, he didn't even remember why anymore, and he liked to refer to it as his spot. His 'spot' as it were was simply a bench and a lamp post

He took a moment to study the lamp post, a simple black pole with a light attached, and shook his head Get a grip Benson he mentally commanded himself. The bench was cold, no surprise in December, and covered in snow so he didn't bother to sit down, instead he pulled out a piece of gum, unwrapped it, and slid it in his mouth. He'd recently quit smoking, and the gum was the only thing that kept him from slipping back into the deadly habit. The former tech producer for iCarly smiled to himself, every time he had lit up he had heard Carly's voice Those are bad for you Freddie, Why are you doing that to yourself? It had been close to fifteen years since he'd seen the love of his life but no matter how much time he still managed to torture himself with her face and her voice.

He'd loved her voice, her laugh... He'd loved everything about her, he still did in a way, and he would always remember the day he'd came home and she'd told him she was going to an out of country college.

Freddie looked at the diploma in his hand and took a deep breath, high school was over, he didn't like the idea of things changing. He started for his apartment but stopped, his mother wasn't handling the fact that he'd graduated very well and he didn't want to listen to any more "My baby! My baby!" crying.

The young man turned around and walked into the Shay apartment, it hadn't changed much in the years since they had started iCarly and Freddie appreciated that. He froze when he noticed... Was that boxes on the floor? "What's going on guys?" he asked curiously.

He could tell Spencer wasn't happy to see him, he looked almost nervous as he scooted to the elevator "Carly will tell you." before slipping inside.

Freddie's blood went cold as he stared at the boxes and it all clicked, he heard his brunette friend come downstairs. "You're leaving." he said, no emotion.. Nothing, just a statement.

"Yes."

"Where?"

"A school in Italy."

"That desperate to get away from me?" The bitterness in his voice tasted like poison and he wanted desperately to watch it away.

"Now Freddie it's not like that.."

"Then what is it?!" he demanded, "What did Sam have to say about it?"

"Sam wants me to be happy!" she retorted, "I thought you would too."

Her words stunned him, was he holding her back? He shook his head "Have a nice trip then Carly." he said and stormed out of her apartment.

That had been the last time he had seen Carly, last he'd heard she'd decided to stay in Italy and had found a boyfriend there. Freddie had been bitter for a while, blaming himself for driving her away, but now he just felt numb.

A familiar feminine voice, one he hadn't heard in fifteen years, came out of nowhere behind him "Freddie."

He didn't turn around, didn't look at her, he knew who it was "Carly."

"It's good to see you."

"I wish I could say the same about you." The bitterness left over in his voice was surprising even to him.

"I know you don't mean that."

"Oh, you do?"

"You're not like that."

"People change in fifteen years Shay."

Her voice got soft, he could tell she was angry. "So I'm just Shay now?"

"What do you want me to call you?"

"You could call me by my first name."

He turned to face her and froze, she was exactly how he remembered, "You haven't changed..."

"Yes I have, in more ways than one."

"You still make me fall in love with you at just a glance."

A smile appeared on her lips, the smile that made his heart melt, "You were always a hopeless romantic Freddie."

"Yeah well... It didn't exactly do me any good now did it?"

She sighed and brushed her hair out of her face and glanced up at him, their eyes locked and he remembered that they used to be brighter, more full of life, but he didn't say anything instead she spoke "That's not fair Freddie."

"Is it?"

"I had to leave, you know that, I was never meant to spend my life in Seattle..."

"With me." He interrupted angrily.

"I... I don't know Freddie, I felt something for you but honestly it scared me, we were kids! I didn't know what love was!"

"It doesn't matter, I've moved on." The lie was so ridiculous he had to bite back a laugh.

She smiled again and he resisted the urge to smile back. "You're a bad liar Freddie Benson."

"I can't be that bad of a liar... I fooled myself."

"You didn't fool yourself..." Her voice was so soft he almost thought he was hallucinating.

"What the hell are you talking about? You left Sam, Spencer... You left them behind Carly! You don't get to come back and think an apology will fix everything." He could see the hurt in her eyes; he'd always been able to read her emotions perfectly.

"Are we talking about them?" She asked, the hurt in her voice was even worse than seeing it in her eyes, "Or are we talking about you?"

"You never even tried to let me know if you were okay..." His voice cracked a bit as he closed his eyes, "If you were happy... You abandoned me Carly."

"You're being, as always, over dramatic. I didn't abandon anyone."

"Then why did we never hear from you?"

She hesitated, he braced himself for whatever she was going to say, and he swore that she was nervous "I asked them not to tell you I was talking to them,"

He didn't speak for a moment, betrayal and hurt flashed through his eyes "Why would you do that?" he demanded.

"I knew I wasn't coming back, and I wanted... No I needed you to move on."

"So you just thought disappearing from my life would make that happen?! What sick logic is that?"

Her shoulders slumped and he wondered if perhaps he had gone too far, but he was too angry to care "Do you even care what you did to me?"

"Of course I care!" She protested. "Listen to me Freddie... I need you to forgive me... Please, you're my best friend."

"No, That's Sam's honor, and Spencer's your brother... I'm just the boy in love with you that you can play with."

Carly sighed again impatiently, "You've been holding this in a long time haven't you?"

He paused, trying to form a coherent sentence, and looked up at the sky "Bitterness is like a poison, it moves slow and unless you find an antidote it kills you, not physically but mentally, it destroys everything you are."

"How... Poetic."

He shrugged, "I've had a lot of time to think about it."

"I always thought you were a bit of a poet."

"Did you now?"

She didn't reply, instead she just stared at him, and for a moment he wondered if perhaps she was going to ask to be forgiven again. She opened her mouth to speak but no words came out, instead she walked towards him and pointed to the park "I remember when we came out here for an iCarly bit."

He nodded, "After college I just kinda... Drifted here, been coming here ever since, it's kind of my spot."

An amused look appeared on her face "Your spot?"

"Yeah my spot." He noticed his voice was lighter, the bitterness was leaving him.

She laughed, and he couldn't help but laugh with her, "I have missed you Freddie, one of the hardest things I had to do was let you go."

"You never had to let me go." he said softly, "I couldn't let you go."

She looked down, "I'm sorry."

He sighed and looked away; studying the trees, the ground, anything but her really "I... I forgive you." he finally said.

She smiled and held out her hand "Come with me then." she said with a soft smile.

He looked down at her hand and smiled softly, taking her hand "So where are we going?"

She shrugged, "You'll see."

He winced as everything seemed brighter "Is it just me, or is it brighter now?"

She shrugged and an innocent smile formed on her lips "Come on, it's time to go."

He was tempted to ask where but kept his mouth shut "It's good to have you back." he finally said.

"Come on Freddie, it's time to move on."

He barely registered her words, everything was so bright, why was everything so bright? She continued to lead him forward and soon even with his eyes closed everything was really bright, but he felt at peace here... Everything he had gone through the last fifteen years seemed to leave him as if it had never really mattered. "What happened?"

She smiled softly, "We've moved on Freddie."

He turned around and froze, the park was gone, only to be replaced by the old iCarly studio "What is this?" He demanded.

She smiled sadly, "When I said moving on I meant we don't belong in the world of the living Freddie."

"We're.." He trailed off. The words wouldn't come out of his mouth, if he said it that meant accepting it.

"We're dead Freddie." She said. The brunette girl walked over to him "You were stuck, almost in a loop, the bitterness you felt towards me was keeping you anchored to the world of the living. You needed to forgive me."

He shook his head "That can't be, I think I'd know if I were dead." he insisted. Despite his protests somehow this felt right... He felt like he was where he should be.

"You feel it to? Like you've come home after a long time away?" She asked. "Welcome to the afterlife Freddie."

Knowing his protests would do him no good he let it wash over him "How did I die?"

"I don't know, we usually don't remember how we die, those that do are driven insane, now come on... We've got people to meet" she said happily.

He nodded and followed her, a small smile forming on his lips as he followed her into the afterlife.

Finally they could be at peace, finally they had moved on.

Note: I hope you all enjoy this story, I'm rather proud of it myself, I hope it's not confusing or anything. I had some issues with the ending, but I think it turned out okay. Please read and review, and (I don't say this enough) but thanks to my beta reader PD31. Also I don't own iCarly or anything, I'm just a writer with an idea.