Disclaimer- I do not own anything * Sad cause she doesn't* Everything belongs to Tolkien.

LORD OF THE RINGS WACKY AWARD CEREMONIES

"Please welcome tonight's host- Gollum!" Gollum prances up onto the stage.

"Hello, Precious. Thissssssss isssss the Lord of the Ringsssss cccccceromoniesssss. Here to presssssent the first award, Bagginsss." Gollum hissed. The audience is happy that Gollum is done. Bilbo comes out.

"Hello, I'm here to present the award for longest without a shower. the nominees are- Boromir, Aragorn, Gollum, or Filmar the Ring Wraith. And the winner is..." Bilbo started. Aragorn stood.

"Gollum, for going 5 hundred years without a shower, EWWW, GET ME OFF THIS STAGE!" Bilbo runs off while Gollum runs up. He grabs the trophy, a large ring on a plague.

"Thank you to the ring for keeping me alive this long. Thankssss, perecious." Gollum said. Aragorn stood with his jaw to the floor.

"I was suppose to win." He whined. Everyone stared at him. Legolas leaned over.

"ummm, Aragorn, your making a scene." He said, inching away from his friend. Aragorn runs off crying. Galadriel comes on.

"Well, this is a no brainier. The award for the most cleanest person, Heck- I'm not even going to say the nominees. Legolas, you know you won, get up here." Galadriel ordered. Legolas came up.

"What can I say? I'm a clean Elf. I have to stay attractive." Legolas said. Food is thrown at him, and he runs off the stage, crying, "My Hair, My Hair!"

"The award for most annoying goes to Arwen." Arwen pouted, and took the award without a word. She dragged Aragorn out of the ceremony.

"the next award goes to the bravest person. The nominees are Aragorn, Boromir, and Frodo. The winner is Aragorn, who left. Here, Legolas, hold this for your friend." The overhead voice said.

"Did Gollum touch this?" Legolas asked, holding the trophy by the tips of his fingers.

"Yes."

"Then I'm not." Legolas drops it. Boromir appears out of no-where, and grabs it.

"Mine!" He said, and disappears. Legolas gets all pale, the Hobbits started crying because they hadn't won anything, Gandalf was threatening to kill the voice for not nominating him, the Dwarves where throwing food at the Elves, Gimli started killing the orcs that were in the audience as V.I.P's. food went everywhere, and even Legolas started throwing food. Sauron came on, and gave some lame story abut the ring, and the real reason it was created. Gandalf tried to turn the voice into a frog, but turned Legolas into one instead.

"Gandalf, I swear, when I get back into an Elf, I will kill you." Legolas croaked. Gandalf finally turned the voice into a frog.

"Finally!" He yelled. They went off TV with Boromir being killed again by Aragorn for his trophy, and Legolas croaking to be turned back. Gollum did the Happy Smeagol Mambo on top of the loud speakers, the Hobbits were catching food in their mouth, Gandalf and Bilbo pushed over the loud speakers with Gollum on top. Gollum landed on the frog Legolas. Everyone ended up on top of Legolas, the last being a huge orc who knocked the breath out of everyone, especially Legolas, who was as flat as Lembas bread. That ended the night for everyone, especially Legolas.

THE END