If I owned Naruto

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto because if I did, well you are about to find out if you bother to read more. Also I don't own any songs or brand names I use, so you lawyers can get lost!

Warning: This story is pop and sleep deprivation induced and is weird, hopefully funny, and super EVIL!

If I owned the show Naruto, then every time Kisame (sp?) appeared on the screen the show would either play I'm Blue by Eiffel 65 or the theme for Jaws and Kisame would be wearing Captain Planet's costume. (I should say that I got those thoughts from a youtube movie that was one of the Ultimate Naruto Fanflashes by different people I think.)

Anyway, continuing my evil rampage of the show Naruto, I think I would make all of the sound ninjas call Itachi a girl and I would do this for two reasons (1. It would really tick off Itachi which would be hilarious to me. (I am so EVIL.) (2. Itachi would probably kill all the sound ninjas for calling him that which would be awesome because I hate the sound ninjas.

Now, I have to say what my top favorite thing is or the first thing I would do if I owned Naruto is I would make Orochimaru (sp?) say he was gay at the top of his lungs over and over again. (No offense to gay people or Orochimaru fans, but I really think he and Naraku (from Inuyasha) are both gay.) Also I would make him and Kabuto dance and sing Anything You Can Do and make Orochimaru sing the girl's part just because I think it would be funny.

Also I think I would have a character that was a ninja that loved cats, so she and Kiba would always be arguing about cats and dogs. (That is the only thing I can think of.)

Next, I would go back in time to Rock Lee's and Gaara's match and I would give Rock Lee a garden hose that is connected to the Atlantic Ocean so he could get Gaara's sand wet and turn it into mud so Gaara couldn't use his sand.(Once again, I would love to say that this idea is mine, but it isn't it is from some icon or picture I have seen.)

Next on my list is Gai and I would shave his eyebrows so they were smaller and I would cut his hair into a better hair cut and I would have Kakashi beat him in a match.

Now let's see here… (reads list) Ah ha! The next person on my list is Choji and what I would do is steal his potato chips and maybe sign him up for an exercise session at a gym just because it would tick him off.

Grr… so many people so little time. I think for Naruto and Hinata I would just make them go out with each other and I would beat up Hisashi (sp?) for being mean to Hinata.

I think I would have Ten Ten and Neji dating too because well…I think they make a good couple.

Okay… I can't think of anything else I would do except make Kakashi beat some sense into Sasuke so he won't leave to go to the evil idiot that is Orochimaru.

Oh! I just had a mean idea form in my head. I would have some person(I don't know who, but it sure as hell wouldn't be me.) and I would them walk up to Sasuke's fan club and say to them that Sasuke is ugly or something else that would tick the fan club off. That would be funny in my opinion.

The End

Author's note: Sorry that this probably sucked and that I wasted your time, but when I'm bored and pop induced hyper I write really weird things. Anyway please review or I will be forced to send the ANBU teams or squads after you and the dead souls of the spirit world. Anyway, please review!