Innocence Stolen

She is faithful to a fault. Willing to sacrifice anything for a friend in need. Eli's safety is worth it, he is worth everything, even what she holds most dear.

Dear Lord, Please forgive me for my transgressions. I did it to save a friend. I may have broken a commandment, but I prevented another from being broken. I couldn't let Eli die. I would die myself before I let that happen.

Clare continued her silent prayer, as she climbed the steps, rather stiffly, leading to Degrassi's front doors.

Everyone's going to notice. They'll call me a slut, a whore. No one will want to be my friend. I'll have to change schools, start all over. What will Eli think…no…Eli can't know…he can never know.

Flashback

"Hey Eli," a taunting voice reached the boy walking beside her. Slowly he turned around.

"What do you want Fitz?"

"Oh nothing much," Fitz replied with a nonchalant shrug, "I just think you should apologize for what you did with the fake ID."

"Oh really?" Eli asked in a condescending tone, "And why ever should I do that?"

"Because you owe, me," Fitz said getting into Eli's personal space, "And if you don't you'll wish you had."

"Ha!" Eli laughed with false humor, "You don't scare me."

"Ya? Well we'll just see about that." And with that he stalked down the hallway.

"Eli! What are you doing?" Clare yelled at him, "You're going to get yourself kill!"

"Clare," Eli said teasingly ruffling her curls, "You worry too much."

He turned the opposite way Fitz had gone, and started towards his next class.

First making sure Eli was completely out of sight, Clare ran after Fitz. Only to run head long straight into him.

"Ouff," Clare made a sound, as she was thrown to the floor, books scattering everywhere.

"Here," Fitz offered her a hand, making sure she was once again on her feet, before he bent down to pick up the books.

"Fitz…do you really have to continue this feud with Eli?" she asked looking anywhere but him.

"What you don't want your little boyfriend to get into trouble?" he asked tauntingly.

"Listen, I know you two don't like each other, but isn't there a way to solve this peacefully?"

After thinking for a moment Fitz answered, "Yeah there is. Meet me outside in the alley behind the Dot after school."

With that he turned and walked away, not sparing her a second glance.

Now that she looked back on it, it was an extremely bad choice to meet Fitz. Let alone to meet him in a dark secluded alleyway, but it had been her only chance to make this stupid war end, without having anyone get hurt…or so she thought.

Taking a deep breath Clare pushed open the doors, and stepped through them into the fluorescent lighted building, starting towards her locker.

Her steps were slow as she neared her locker space. Pulling it open when she arrived, she retrieved her books for first period Literature.

"Hey Blue Eyes."

Clare dropped the books she had been holding. Frighteningly she looked into the emerald eyes that belonged to none other than Eli Goldsworthy.

"Eli…I…I," she stammered slowly backing away, "I…I'm not feeling well!"

Clare turned and sprinted to the girls' bathroom, not caring of who saw her. When she reached the white walled room, she collapsed into a small quivering heap, in the farthest corner.

She didn't want to think of what she had done…what she had given up…for him.

"Clare?" his voice echoed around the tiled room, making it seem as if he was everywhere at once. "Clare, are you ok?"

"Just go away," she sobbed in a horse whisper.

"Clare, I just want to help," Eli said pleadingly, "I'm coming in."

"No! You can't help me," she cried frantically, than in a softer tone, "No one can."

"Please tell me what's wrong," his voice sounded again, before being drowned out by the sound of first period bell.

"Eli! I don't want you here," Clare called once again curling in on herself.

"…Do you want me to get Ali," he asked in a hurt voice.

"No, I just want to be left alone."

"Fine," she heard him stand up and listened to his retreating footsteps.

When she could no longer hear him, she broke down into hysterical sobs. He was the reason she had done it. She had done it to protect him. And she could never let him know. If he knew…he would hate her, he would feel like she had betrayed him.

As much as she tried, she could not help but relive the memories, which had plagued her mind.

Flashback

Clare glanced around before cautiously walking towards the alley behind the Dot. Against her better judgment she had decided to meet Fitz, if only so that Eli, and Adam wouldn't have to deal with his harassing anymore.

"You showed up," he remarked in a cold tone.

Clare spun around only to be met with Fitz's hard stare.

"I said I would," she answered, "You said that you knew a way to end this stupid feud peacefully."

"Hmm…I did, didn't I?"

"Yes…you did," Clare said backing away a little suspicious.

Fitz reached in his back pocket, and pulled out a black switchblade.

Clare gasped, "You…you said you knew a Peaceful way!"

"Yeah I do," Fitz said, "A peaceful way to end this whole thing. But if you don't comply…"

"You're really not above killing him are you?" she asked in a frightened whisper.

"Haha, no not really," he said in a detached voice.

"I could run and tell the police," the threatened.

"And I could kill you before you got a chance to leave this alley."

Clare took an unconscious step back, "Even if you did manage to get away, you wouldn't be able to stop me from going straight to Eli and killing him before you told anyone."

Fitz stepped closer to her, as she stepped back farther, before she realized she was backing herself in a literal corner.

Fitz looked down at his knife popping it open before twirling it between both hands, "So the question is…" he took a dramatic pause to look into her eyes, "How much is his safety worth to you?"

"Everything," Clare whispered.

"Really?" he asked taking another step closer, as she took another back, so that her back was now touching the wall, "Anything?"

"What do you want me to do?" she asked fearfully.

"Sleep with me."

Clare's head snapped up, "What?"

"Tonight at the Ravine, if you have sex with me I won't touch Eli or Adam…ever."

"I…you won't provoke either of them?" she asked, "You'll leave them alone?"

"I will," he answered.

"…you promise?" Clare asked.

"I promise."

This was a bad idea, she knew it. But she had to if she did Fitz was going to…going to…kill…Eli. If she didn't do anything to stop it…she would never forgive herself.

She had had to ride her bike to get to the ravine, telling her parents that she was going to go to Alli's house to study, while they went to a charity auction at their church, something her Mother had forced her Father into going to.

Now that she had arrived all of the rumors about this place were confirmed.

Kids sat around in lawn chairs around a bonfire, drinking, passing around what looked like a smoking wrapped up piece of paper, that she could only assume what was. In the darker parts of the clearing, were kids who were exchanging money and bags of…something. This was not a place that she would go to. She normally would balk at the thought of showing up in a place like this. But now…now it was necessity.

"Clare," she whipped around to face Fitz, who was sporting a beaming smile. "I didn't think you'd show."

"And let you kill Eli? I would do anything for him," Clare said sounding a lot more brace than she felt.

Fitz's smile faded and was replaced by a scowl, "Yeah, well come on, you're mine for the next half hour."

He grabbed her hand and began pulling her over to a beat up old brown van, that had had its wheels taken off.

This is it, she told herself. She was going to break one of the Ten Commandments. The one she held most dear. She was going to give Fitz, a kid who she never talked to, who she despised, her virginity.

Fitz pulled open one of the side doors, before climbing in, "Well are you coming?"

She would never get this back, was she really going to do this?

Yes, she would. She was doing this for Eli, and he was worth it.

Clare took a deep breath before pulling herself into the dirty van.

Fitz smirked at her leaning over toward the door, "Here we go."

The door slammed shut.