A/N: Written for TheRealRavenclaw's 'Chat-up Line Challenge' on the Harry Potter Challenge forum. Kindly beta'd by the awesome EveryShiningStar.
Oliver Wood's luck with romancing females was absolutely terrible and both Fred and George Weasley never let him live it down. He did have a few female friends (namely, Katie Bell, Angelina Johnson and Alicia Spinet) from Quidditch, but they were different then other girls. Other girls, for some reason unexplainable to even Oliver himself, were downright intimidating. Suddenly, a brilliant idea struck him: he could ask his chasers for romantic advice! After all, they were girls, and they would certainly be of help. He thought of where they could be and practically searched for the three girls throughout the whole school. The moment he stopped for a breath was when he felt someone tapping at his
"What are you doing?" Katie Bell asked a confused looking Oliver when their paths crossed.
"Nothing!" Oliver replied, suspiciously nervous. He didn't want Katie to know he wanted Katie raised an eyebrow, catching on to Oliver's strangeness.
"You're panting. That means you've been doing something-"
"Don't even think about finishing that sentence!" Oliver hissed. Katie simply smirked evilly. "You wanna talk?"
"Yeah."
"About…?"
"…Romance." Oliver whispered this word as if it was illegal and he would be promptly be killed for even saying it. Katie looked absolutely baffled, then giggled profusely at the mere thought of Oliver having any romantic bones in his body. Oliver pouted in response.
"What about it?" Katie asked after gaining her composure.
"Let's say I had a friend…"
"You've got other friends!" Katie asked, jokingly bewildered.
"No, Katie, I'm antisocial and don't have a life outside of Quidditch," Oliver deadpanned.
"Truer words have never been spoken," Katie stated solemnly.
"We're getting off topic," said Oliver.
"So that means we've gotta focus on your 'friend'. Tell me about this 'friend' of yours," Katie said.
"So my friend-who exists, by the way-is having girl troubles. He-my friend that is-wants to know how to break the ice in order to talk to a girl he likes." Oliver averted his gaze towards Katie in embarrassment while she thought.
"Well, what's she like? Maybe you can talk to her based on what she likes," Katie explained.
"Er, she's…" Oliver took a moment to think of ways to describe Katie in a way that Katie wouldn't notice he was talking about her, "She's funny and charismatic but an average student. She makes up for her seeming lack of book smarts by being good at Quidditch." Oliver held his breath and hoped that she didn't guess he was talking of her. Katie's eyes lit up.
"I think I know who you're talking about. And if you're talking about the girl I think you're talking about, then you gotta think of something creative to get her to think of you romantically. Like the chocolate and flowers and the cheesy 'I love you' type pick up lines," Katie explained. Silence dropped on Katie and Oliver like an anvil.
"Are you using the Confundus charm, or are you just naturally mind-blowing?" Oliver blurted to ease the silence. Katie smirked knowingly, and tried to ruffle Oliver's hair affectionately.
"I'm not sure if I should be flattered by your comment and find it adorably cheesy or slap you for ever thinking that line could work."
"I'd prefer that you be flattered. I don't want to be slapped any time soon by my favorite chaser." Katie grinned.
"You're so odd."
"I take pride in that, I guess."
Oliver and Katie spent the next two weeks practically joined at the hip. They joked and giggled and chattered animatedly when they walked each other to their classes and made sure to use the most embarrassingly adorable nicknames for each other. Even if they would fervently deny ever coming up with such embarrassing but adorable nicknames with each other, the pair seemed to have fun thinking of said nicknames.
Fred Weasley was the first to notice how happy (and frankly, how sugary-sweet) Oliver and Katie seemed to be lately when the pair were together. They were practically inseparable, always finding a new way to show affection in public in the most cavity inducing way possible. Oliver's normally uptight behavior on practice was considerably lighter and, to be honest, Fred was afraid.
"Okay Ollie, what's going on? Why are you so…cheerful all of a sudden?" Fred asked, approaching Oliver after the end of a practice one afternoon. A strike on Fred's suspicious meter made a sound in his head when Oliver didn't lecture Fred on being called 'Ollie'. The answer to his question was simply a wide, toothy grin. Fred was more confused than ever and remained unsure if he ever wanted to know things about his Captain's personal life.
Unfortunately, Fred's imagination was too vivid.
