My first Twilight fanfic. I hope it's ok.
Please notice that english isn't my mother tongue, so there might be mistakes (I haven't found any... yet, but there's a good chance that there are some).
Unwillingly shared
It's overwhelming.
Everywhere I go, there it is, no matter in which direction I see or walk. Even when I'm alone, even when nothing moves but me, I hear it. Hear them. Voices screaming in silence what should be only theirs, but is unwillingly shared with me.
I see their problems, their happiness and their fury like they are my own; everything at the same time, images come to my head, and thoughts that are not mine also fill it with noise. Because that's what, most of the time, they are: noise.
When I was still young, starting my existence as a vampire, it was much worse. Try to imagine how it was — after seventeen years of silence, of normality, suddenly I was able to listen to everyone's mind, at every time. Not only I could do it, but I had to.
Like waking up with the sound of loud music.
Once, for instance, little time after Alice and Jasper arrived, he was sitting wordlessly, just thinking. And it was horrible. I saw his past as he remembered it; vivid pictures made me shudder, almost afraid of what I was watching.
Alice entered the room and sat beside him. Her thoughts had been peaceful, but after sharing some words with Jasper, the scenario I'd been looking at through Jasper's memory became duplicated. From upstairs came the other family member's voices, and I, surprising even myself, couldn't handle it.
"Please," I murmured while closing my eyes, "just shut up."
Then I ran.
I wonder how is it that she didn't see me leaving; for hours, I headed toward nowhere, wishing that at some point I'd find calm. I didn't.
I won't deny, of course, that my gift is quite useful. It allows me to prepare the most suitable lie, a perfect false expression and a soft smile to get what I need. It allows me to know what I'm facing.
That's what made me so scared when I first saw her. Such a delicious perfume, the heat of her blood silently — silence, silence, silence — calling me. Oh, the thirst. But there wasn't a point of comparison, because I could not hear her.
Such a rare pleasure.
When I'm with her, I can have one tiny piece of tranquility. The only person I can look at with no reflect of my face staring at myself; no insults, no imaginary flirting, no bad memories. Nothing. And I frankly loved that nothing.
Of course it can bother me at times, because this lack of noise gives her the possibility to lie (even though she's not good at it) and fake; she can hide her feelings and confuse me whenever she wants to.
But with her it's not overwhelming.
After a hundred years, finally, there's silence. She's the treasured quietness of my existence.
About: First of all, thanks for reading! I hope that Edward wasn't too much OoC... being my first Twilight fic, I'm kinda worried, lol. Anyway... complains, opinions and whatever are welcome in a review :P.
