A/N So I don't have Part 2 completely done but I do have several chapters ready. I think I will only be updating this once a week though so that I can stay ahead while writing the new chapters.

Anyway... hope you enjoy.


PART 2:

So they had gone there.
They had faced their fears.
They had faced each other.
And it wasn't so bad.
Yes, they had some things to work out.
Yes, they didn't have a clear picture of where this was headed.
And just because they'd faced their fears didn't mean those fears were gone.
It didn't mean it wasn't going to be a bumpy road.
But none of that mattered.
What did matter was that the rift between them was finally closing.
They weren't enemies anymore.
They were going to take this thing on together.
They were going to make it work.…


The next morning, Peter was jolted awake by a high pitched squeal.
What the fuck was that?
Then he heard a few riffs coming from Mike's guitar and realized it had been feedback from the amp.
So they were starting practice early.

He sat up and rubbed the sleep from his eyes.
Then he looked over at Micky.

Had that really happened last night?
He smiled. Yes it had.
As he watched Micky sleep he thought about how it had felt to hold him. How they had stood there with their arms wrapped around each other.

Sinking into each other's warmth.
Into each other's love.
Letting their bodies get used to the feeling of holding another man.
Surrendering.

When they had finally released each other, Micky had sighed. Not a sigh of sorrow but of relief. He'd looked up at Peter. He'd looked exhausted.
And of course he was exhausted. He'd put himself through hell the last few weeks.

Despite his exhaustion, though, his eyes were clear and open.
They were no longer clouded with anger or fear.
They were no longer concealing anything.
They looked at Peter with trust.

Such trust…
Such trust that Peter felt the sharp pangs of anxiety in his gut.
What if he let Micky down?
What if he said the wrong thing or did the wrong thing?
He would lose him.

He could not lose him.
He had to do everything right.

…The only problem was he had no idea how to go about that. He didn't know what the right or wrong thing was in a situation like this.

He'd never been here before.
It was like the blind leading the blind.

But Micky trusted him….had ask for his help.
So that's what Peter intended to do. He'd figure it out. He would do whatever it took.
He could not fuck up.

He stood up and knelt by Micky's bed. He brushed his hand through a few of Micky's loose curls.
Micky opened his eyes.
He looked startled for a second and jerked away.
But Peter watched as the memory of last night returned and his body relaxed.
He looked up at Peter.
Neither of them spoke.
Conflicting emotions seemed to flicker across Micky's face.

Finally Peter said "So, uh…about last night. Is everything okay? …you know, with us?"

Micky nodded. It was hesitant though. "Yeah Pete…..I guess." He said and closed his eyes again.

He guessed? Peter waited a few moments hoping Micky would re-open them and elaborate on his response.
When he didn't Peter felt disheartened.
He finally stood up to leave.

Micky must have sensed his movements. He opened his eyes. "Pete?"

Peter turned back and looked down at him.

Micky sat up. He let out a nervous breath and looked around before staring up at Peter with intensity.
Then he suddenly rose up to his knees and wrapped his arms around Peter's neck, pulling him down.

It was a very short but very passionate kiss.

Micky released him and sunk back down to his bed, averting his eyes.
Peter was left feeling like jello.
He slowly straightened. Micky wouldn't look at him.
Peter swallowed and turned to leave again.

When he got to the door he looked back.
"Hey Mick?"

Micky nervously looked up."Yeah?"

Peter grinned. "You really need a shower."

Micky's eyes grew wide and he flushed. Then a curl formed at the corner of his mouth. "Tell me about it."

Peter nodded and laughed. "Yeah, seems like it's been a while."

.

Practice went as well as could be expected….which wasn't great. Davy was a little rusty on drums. His frustration was obvious.
Obvious to Peter anyway. Mike didn't seem to notice. Mike didn't seem to notice anything. He was quiet…in his own head.
Peter, it seemed, was the only one on top of his game. So he took lead.

He took on Mike's role. Keeping everything going and calling time when things turned to shit. He had them run through their set list twice before Davy's frustration turned its ugly head on him.

"Peter, I can't do this shit anymore right now, man! I gotta take a break or I'm goin' to put one of these fuckin' sticks right through this tom head!"

Peter looked to Mike expectantly but got nothing.

"Fine." He threw his hands up in exasperation. "Take five?"

"Five?!"

"Well what do you want Davy?"

"How about half an hour…at least."

"Alright….but you better be ready to hit the ground running when we start up again."

Davy just rolled his eyes and stood up.

Peter watched as he went into the kitchen and began rummaging through the icebox.
He turned back to face Mike "What's going on with you?"

Mike gave him a vague look before pulling the guitar strap over his head and setting his guitar down. "I don't know if this is gonna to work."

"What? What are you talking about? Of course it's going to work."

Mike looked doubtful. He sat down on the drum riser.

Peter put his bass down and sat down beside him.

"So what happened last night?" Mike asked.

"What do you mean?"

"Well, you went in to talk to Mick after I got on his case but you never came back out. Did you straighten things out for me?

"For you?"

"Well…yeah."

"Not really. I just told him you were being an asshole because you cared."

"Oh."

"Hey Peter…" Davy called from the kitchen. "I'm going to eat your burger from last night since you didn't eat it. That okay?"

"Uh…sure I guess."

"So did you guys talk?" Mike asked as Peter's attention returned to him.

"Sort of."

"Sort of?"

"Yeah..not anything that has to do with the band …or you….just stuff between us."

Mike nodded and then looked up. "Speak of the devil." He said gesturing toward the hall.
Micky had come out of the bedroom.

"Oh… hey." Micky said. "I thought maybe you were done practicing since you stopped playing.

"Davy just needed to take a little break." Peter said.

Davy came out of the kitchen. "Fuck yeah, I needed a break. Dammit Micky, I don't see why I gotta do your fuckin' job for you like this!"

"Davy, stop being a little bitch." Mike said.

Davy looked surprised. "What? Me?...No, not me, him." He said pointing at Micky.

"Well, it's not Micky's job anymore, is it? …But you're still part of this band so why don't you act like it?"

Davy glared at Mike, then at Micky.

Micky stood indecisively. He looked from Davy to Mike and then rested his eyes on Peter.
Finally he said, "I was just….I was just going to take a shower." He turned to leave.

"Hey Micky." Mike said.

"What?" Micky turned back around.

"Look man, I'm sorry I came down on you like I did, okay."

"Micky shook his head. "It's fine."

"No, it's not. I didn't have a right to act like that."

"Yeah…you did." Micky said quietly. "Actually… you had an obligation."

"An obli-….an obligation?"

Micky nodded "To all of us. To the band. You're the responsible one. You had to call me out." He pursed his lips together "But see, that's why I can't play. If I would bail on you like this now, especially now, I don't think you should trust me. I really don't even see why you would want me around."

"We want you around man."

Micky laughed cynically. "I don't know why. I haven't even wanted me around, lately."

Mike grew pensive. "Micky….did you and Lin break up?" He asked suddenly.

Micky's eyes darted to Peter's.

Peter looked confused at Mike's change in subject.

"Why?" Micky asked slowly.

"You did, didn't you?...Of course you did. That's what's been going on. I mean, the last time you were so erratic was when you and Sabrina broke up. Am I right?"

Micky took a second to understand Mike's conclusion.
No, he wasn't right but if needed a reason…that was as good a reason as any. Actually it made perfect sense. It made more sense than the truth.
He nodded slightly. "Yeah Mike….. we broke up."

"God, Micky why didn't you just tell us?"

Micky didn't say anything.

Peter stepped in. "It was complicated."

Mike gave Peter a measured look before turning back to Micky. "Yeah, I'm sure it was complicated...otherwise you probably would have said something, right?"

Micky didn't answer.

Mike continued. "But relationships are always complicated. I mean they involve girls. Sometimes I think a girl's primary nature is complexity. Guys on the other hand, we're pretty much easy going and straight forward…"

Micky and Peter looked at each other. Both thinking about how 'easy going' and 'straight forward' the last few weeks had been.

"Anyway, you should have just told us….but look, I'm sorry man. That's a stone drag."

"You know Micky," Davy's bitterness was suddenly gone. "I don't see what you ever saw in her anyway. She was such a bitch to you….I didn't like her ...actually, I didn't like her at all."

"There are plenty of fish." Mike said.

"Fish?" Davy asked.

"Yeah, fish."

"Why are you talkin' about fish?"

"Oh come on, you can't tell me you've never heard that saying… You know 'plenty of fish in the sea' ..as in options, for dating."

"Dating?"

"Man, it's even referenced in one of our songs."

"Mike, I don't think Micky needs to be dating any fish right now. That's fuckin' weird."

Mike rolled his eyes. "I give up."

"You know who he might want to date though….is Autumn, Denise's' friend. She's really cute, Mick. She has long red curly hair. Some cute little freckles on her nose. I'd date her, you know, if I wasn't dating Denise or Meghan….or Olivia."

Micky took a deep breath. "Thanks Davy…I just, uh. Look I'm not going to date anyone right now, okay. I just can't…until I figure some things out."

"Figure things out, huh? So, let me get this straight. You can't date, and you can't play the drums…because you need to figure things out? Well, you better get your shit figured out pretty quick. You're putting your life on hold here."

"Thanks for your concern .…but leave me alone." There was a slight edge to his voice that made Davy flinch.

"Yeah sure, whatever you want." Davy said timidly.

Micky hung his head. He hadn't meant to sound so gruff. "Uh..sorry Davy." He looked back up. "Thanks anyway."

Davy shrugged.

Micky stood there feeling a little awkward. He glanced at Peter for reassurance.
Peter was smiling at him.

And it was reassuring….it was. But with the secret they now had between them, it was a bunch of other things as well.
Understanding, supportive, affectionate.…maybe even a little seductive?
Seductive… Micky's eyes lingered on Peter's smiling lips a little longer than they should have.
His nerves suddenly felt like they were on fire.

Then Mike cleared his throat and Micky remembered where he was.
He jerked his eyes away as blood rose to his cheeks and he became flustered.
"Right, ok well… I'm…I'm going to go shower.." He said backing up a few feet. "you know, like I was planning to do...…." He took another step back. "… cause you know showers are good. They keep you clean… from sweat and dirt… and you can clean your fingernails and between your toes…" He turned while taking another step and ran right into the wall. "What?! A wall? Where did this come from?!" He demanded from no one. He shook his head. "Yeah, I really, really, really need a shower." He said as he hurried towards the bathroom.

Mike and Davy both turned to Peter with questions on their faces.

"What?" Peter said.

"What was that about?" Mike asked.

Peter shrugged, trying to figure it out himself.

Davy walked in from the kitchen and sat on the other side of Peter. "I know what that was about."

"What?" Peter asked.

"It's your fault they broke up isn't it? Somethin' happened between you and Lin when you guys were doing your swing bit, didn't it. That's why Micky's so mad and that's why he acts so weird."

Peter had came to the same conclusion Micky had about Lin and Micky's breakup being the perfect excuse for all the drama the guys had witnessed….but he didn't want to expand upon it. "I don't know Davy. Can we just get back to practice?"

"No…now wait a minute..wait just a minute." Mike said. "Davy's right. You were the complication. You caused this, didn't you?"

Peter rubbed his forehead. Yeah he had caused this…but not in the way they thought he had. "Yeah."

"Fuck Pete, what did you do?"

"What did I do…?" Peter said almost to himself. Whatever, let them think what they want. "I don't know man, like I said it was….. complicated."

"Yeah, I got that part."

Peter was growing irritable. "Look, I can't give you details…okay? Some things just happened. That's all there is to it." He looked at Mike. "But look, me and Mick are working things out. We're talking… and stuff. Everything's fine."

"Fine? Peter….everything's not fine. If everything was fine, Davy wouldn't be working his pretty little ass off trying to learn the drum parts."

"He already fucking knows them!"

"Yeah I know them." Davy chimed. "Still sucks, though."

"Shut up Davy." Mike said. "I'm making a point."

"Right, I get it Mike." Peter said ignoring Davy. "But…believe me; everything is much better than it was."

Mike nodded. "Alright, I guess I'll have to take your word on that." He let out a long exhale. "Alright guys, back to practice." He said taking charge again.

And back to practice they went.

.

Micky was in the bathroom getting ready to take his shower. He had closed the door but he could still hear the faint voices of his friends. They were talking about him. He'd turned the water off so he could hear.

Peter had been admitting fault for his and Lin's break up. But it was funny…looking back; it wasn't Peter's fault at all. It was a dysfunction between him and Lin. A dysfunction that had always been there. Peter had just been the subject of it. Micky, of course had blamed him. He had blamed him for everything. He'd thought Peter was his enemy.

But that was before. Now he knew the truth.
Now he knew that Peter was the exact opposite. Peter was his light.
He, himself was the enemy….the tide.

He was lost in thought when he realized that the conversation about him was over and they had resumed their practice.
He turned the water back on and stepped into the shower.

Water… what a gift from the gods.
As the water hit his head he felt like he was getting a deep massage. A massage to his brain.

How long had it been since he'd showered? It was difficult to tell. The days had started to all run together. At least five days, he was pretty sure.

Fucking disgusting Micky

He leaned against the shower wall and relaxed as the grime was washed away.
He let out a long sigh.
He was still very confused. Water wasn't going to help with that.

He loved Peter.
Yes of course he loved Peter.
But now he loved Peter?
Love? In love?...No, not in love. He wasn't in love.
But something….something close.

He'd felt so safe… and warm in Peter's arms last night.
He'd felt exactly as he had in his dream when the light rescued him.
It had felt so good to give in. To stop fighting himself.
He hadn't realized how hard he'd been fighting.
But as the hot water hit his muscles he could feel the tension in them.

He sighed loudly.
Yeah, it had felt so good.

Yeah Micky…maybe it felt good…but is it worth it? Is it worth being labeled a fag? A queer? A sissy?

The fucking tide. He had to ignore it.

But Micky, it's disgusting. It's so dirty.

It doesn't have to be.

You know what fags do, don't you?...They fuck each other's assholes and they eat each other's dicks and assholes. Is that what you're planning to do with Peter?

Shut the fuck up! I don't know where this is headed but I trust Peter….and I love Peter! Whatever happens…..well….I guess it just happens.

Whatever happens, huh?

All I know is that I feel something and I can't help it!
"And I'm tired…." He said aloud "I'm so tired of fighting this!" He cried into the wall.

He hadn't even been aware that he was getting emotional.
But now, with his outburst, he sunk down into the tub and let the water continue to hit him.

His thoughts swirled around him like the tide had done in his dream.
He felt the fear in his stomach.
"No!" He cried out. "No! Fuck you! I know what you are! And I'm not listening!"

His eyes were closed and he lifted his face up to the water.
In his mind he saw the light again.
But this time the light was Peter in their bedroom last night.

Peter with his mouth on his...
Breathing life into him…
Holding him… forever.

The swirling thoughts suddenly ceased and the tension in his muscles released.
He fell backward in the tub.

As he lay there a new voice came to him.
It's ok to love, Micky

What was this voice?

It's ok to love Peter.

Who was this?
He suddenly remembered a couple nights ago on the beach when he had sung to the rock. It was the reassuring voice from that night.
Was it Delores?
No….It wasn't Delores…hopefully...
She was a nut bag. Sweet, but a nut bag nonetheless.
And this voice…this voice was much to soothing to be hers.
'Peter loves you" It had said.
'Peter loves you' Ty had said.

The voice was Ty.
Ty…his angel. Always looking out for him.

Ty?

It's okay Micky.

I don't know if it is.

"It's okay Micky. It's okay to love Peter."

But what about you? I love you.

I know you do. I know.

Then how can I love Peter?

Love is funny, you know. You never know where it will strike.

But, I've never had these feelings for a man before.

Yes I know….but how are they any different?

Well….it's a man….

It's a human…it's a soul, a spirit. Micky…it's innocent.

He opened his eyes. He loved this voice. Ty's voice. But she was wrong.
Maybe his love for Peter was innocent. It always had been but these feeling were far from.

They weren't innocent.

They were carnal…..

As he lay in the tub he half expected the tide to return and humiliate him for acknowledging his feelings.
But, surprisingly it didn't.
Did that mean he was free to continue this line of thinking?
It seemed like it.
But did he dare? He hadn't let himself go there before.
Well, maybe it was time then.

There was a slight flutter in his stomach.

So he felt carnal towards Peter, then?
Yes he did.

How carnal?

The flutter in his stomach took on life.

What do you want from Peter?
What do you want him to do to you?

He didn't have an answer… but suddenly the butterflies in his stomach had multiplied ten-fold.
He let his mind wonder and accepted the images that came to him….

Peter touching him
Peter running his hands over his body
It was Peter's breath against his neck
His mouth on his
tasting him
devouring him
It was Peter's lips running up and down his body…
and then down…and down…
and down…
It was the heat pressed against him
Peter taking him
DOMINATING him…

...and it was Micky begging for more.

The butterflies were now moving throughout his body making him tremble.

God… is that what I want? He asked himself.
He involuntarily whimpered.

Oh fuck

He looked down and saw that his cock had begun to grow
He watched as it continued to grow.

Yes that was apparently what he wanted…or at least what his penis wanted.

The sensation of being so aroused suddenly felt foreign to him.
Yes he'd been turned on yesterday with the fire…but he had quickly tried to extinguish it.
He hadn't let it grow.
But now he was letting it grow, letting it fill him.
Take over.
He felt so raw.
He knew if he touched himself he'd spend his wad right there.

He looked down again.
He wanted to touch it.
He desperately wanted to touch it.

It had been weeks now, he suddenly realized.
Weeks… He'd hardly noticed the burning...the alcohol had dumbed his mind….and libido apparently.
The last time he'd gotten off was with Ty. With Ty in her room on that lazy fucking Sunday...right before everything had changed.

Weeks …
When he used to get it almost every day.
He'd had no appreciation for the release.
It'd just been part of his everyday life.
He hadn't felt the build up.
He hadn't felt the raw power…the raw life inside of him.
Now he felt it.
He felt it all.
The tension was almost too much.
It would be so easy to reach down and pull a couple times.
He could almost feel it already. Almost see the cum squirt onto his belly.

But he remained frozen.
He wasn't going to jack off.
He couldn't. Not now. Not to Peter.
Kissing him was one thing but jerking it to him was another…especially after the little fantasy sequence he'd had…..

But god….his balls ached.
It would be so easy

Instead he made himself sit up and then stand up and turn the nozzle to cold.
He soaped himself up and washed his hair in freezing water.
By the time he was done his erection was suppressed.
He shaved quickly and hurried out of the shower.
He wrapped himself in three towels and applied ointment to the cut on his head.

There was still music coming from the living room.
He opened the door a crack and peeked out.
He didn't want them to see him.
But he didn't have to worry. They were engrossed in practice.

He slipped out of the bathroom and hurried across to the bedroom.
He threw his towels off and climbed under the blankets of his bed.
He lay there naked and shivering….and wanting.