A/N This is a collaboration between Rach CD McKenzie and Breathoffreshair. We were thoroughly disappointed by the poor excuse for the season three finale and we wish to express our opinions through the medium of fanfiction of how the season 3 finale should have happened and how season four should be. We hope that you will enjoy our joint efforts, maybe if we were the scriptwriters our beloved show would not have been cancelled. We shall leave it up to you to decide dear readers.

As Lovers Go

The Longest Goodbye

Marissa glanced across at Ryan as they drove silently down the empty midnight roads heading out of Newport. She couldn't believe she was actually doing this, actually leaving. How was she going to leave everything behind? And more importantly, how was she going to leave Ryan? After all they'd been through, the smiles, the laughter, the heartbreak, the tears, the love, she never thought it would end like this, that she would be the one leaving it all behind. How could she have let this year become so screwed up? Johnny, Volchock, everything. Everything they'd had shattered before them at their feet, crashing around them, powerless to stop it.

Suddenly, Ryan broke the silence, turning to face her between glances at the road.

"So are you okay?" Ryan asked, their blue eyes connecting across the darkness of the car as he studied her thoughtful expression. "Are you ready for this?" Marissa looked away out of the window for a second, watching as the scenery whipped past, getting ready to leave her life in Newport behind.

"I have no idea." She admitted truthfully, turning back to face Ryan. "I mean, what about you? You're the one leaving the Cohen's, doing the college thing?"

A small smile tugged at Ryan's lips as he looked back at her. "I'm terrified." Marissa let a smile ease across her features and Ryan felt his heart skip a beat as he looked back into her smiling eyes.

"Me too." She replied, it was just beginning to hit her, the hugeness of what she was doing. Marissa looked back out of the window as another silent moment skipped by, Ryan turning back to watch her as she stared pensively out of the window into the darkness.

"So if you ever wanna to talk or email..." Ryan suggested, his ever present nervous smile appearing on his face. "If they have that...I don't know how boats work..." He trailed off as his words turned to a mumble.

Marissa's heart fluttered as she realised just how much she was going to miss him, and his awkward attempts at conversation which she had always found so cute, he had never been good with words. "I'll find a way to keep in touch." She said, smiling sadly. Ryan began to open his mouth to reply, when headlights began to blaze through the rear-view mirror and a loud beeping cut through the silent night air.

"Whats that?" Marissa said, turning back and glancing through the back window. Ryan frowned into the rear-view mirror.

"I don't know, that guys been following us..." He replied, before looking in the wing-mirror and motioning for the vehicle to pass. "Go ahead." He called. Marissa's face crinkled in confusion as the car continued to beep and flash its lights.

"What's he doing?" She said, looking to Ryan as he shot her a worried look. She suppressed a scream as the car jolted forward, the car behind ramming it with a shuddering crash. She felt a wave of terror pass over her, but the feeling of Ryan's comforting hand squeezing hers reassured her. That was until they felt another ram, this time towards the side of the car, causing the tyres to squeal in complaint as Ryan struggled to keep control of the car. She drew her gaze away from Ryan and in her peripheral vision she noticed the van had drawn up alongside Ryan's Jeep, and she felt her heart stop for a second as recognition passed over her features. Volchock. It couldn't be. But it was, his face leered at her through the window and she drew back in fear as he yelled at them to pull over. She glanced across at Ryan, her eyes wide with fear.

"Pull the fucking car over, Atwood." Volchock shouted, ramming them again, his eyes with a manic glint, getting madder by the second. "I just need to talk to Marissa." Seeing the look of fear in Marissa's eyes, Ryan knew he had to pull over, he couldn't jeopardise Marissa's safety, and he knew Volchock wasn't going to stop. He pulled over onto the grassy embankment, tyres squealing as Volchock skidded to halt, narrowly missing flying over the edge of the ravine. Volchock leapt out of the car, slamming the door behind him, causing Marissa to once again flinch in her seat. She looked over at Ryan, her eyes pleading with him as he knew what he had to do. He squeezed Marissa's hand reassuringly as if to say 'Everything will be okay', before unbuckling his seatbelt with a click, exiting the Jeep into the eerily silent night, Volchock standing in front of him with his arms folded, a glare present against his hard face.

"What do you want, man?" Ryan said, squaring up to Volchock and taking a step forward. "You know its over."

"I just need to talk to her." Volchock glancing over Ryan's shoulder at Marissa, who sat in the car, avoiding his gaze.

"She doesn't want to talk to you." Ryan said, stonily staring back at him, stance unchanging as he studied Volchock's unforgiving expression.

"Let me talk to her." Volchock said, not giving up as Ryan stood in front of him. Ryan was about to respond, but he felt a soft hand settle on his shoulder, he turned around and saw Marissa standing beside him. She looked between Ryan and Volchock.

"It's okay, Ryan..." She whispered, looking softly back at Ryan. "I'll deal with this." Ryan reluctantly turned back, not wanting to leave Marissa with him. He moved his stony glare from Volchock and watched as Marissa stood in front of him.

"Why are you doing this?" Marissa asked, her face impassive to the man before her.

"Because I never wanted to hurt you, I want you back." Marissa turned her head in disgust at Volchock's meaningless words.

"Yeah, well, you did, but guess what?" Marissa bit back, taking a step forward to face him. "I'm over it, and I'm over you." She spat angrily, Volchock flinching at her words. "So, just give it up. You and I both know its over. I'm leaving, and I just want to forget you even exist." She said, harshly, Volchock took a step back.

"Fine, you were nothing more than a good piece of ass to me." Volchock smirked, as Ryan clenched his fists, unable to take it. Marissa, noticing Ryan's angry demeanour, placed her hand upon his chest, which immediately quelled the rage in his heart.

"Ryan, he's not even worth it." Marissa said, calming him down with her soft voice. "Come on, lets go, I'm going to miss my flight." Marissa walked quickly back to the car, Ryan left with a parting glare to Volchock, Volchock left with nothing as Marissa walked out of his life forever.

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As they had pulled back onto the main road, a few minutes later Ryan looked at Marissa uncertainly as she fiddled with the knob on the stereo, absent mindedly flicking between stations before finally switching it over to CD. Her mouth curved into a small smile as the familiar guitar chords strummed through the silence.

Ryan looked up, embarassed as it dawned on Marissa what CD this was.

"This song reminds me of you." She cooed into his ear causing Ryan to flush with embarassment.

She laughed at his obvious discomfort. Her mind flashing back to all those years ago, the blonde haired, blue eyed boy who had crashed so suddenly into her life, changing everything flashed through her memory. Ryan blushed and turned his eyes back to the road. Marissa reached out to skip the song, noticing Ryan's embarassment but felt Ryan's hand reach out and stop her. He glanced at her and smiled.

"Leave it on." He stated as the lyrics floated through the speakers reminding them of the spark they felt on that fateful night when they hardly knew each other. Marissa could almost hear Ryan's voice as he told her "We're from two different worlds" and she felt the rejection as if it were fresh in her heart when he had asked her to leave.

Baby I've been here before,
I've seen this room and I've walked this floor
I used to live alone before I knew you
I've seen your flag on the marble arch
But love is not a victory march
It's a cold and it's a broken hallelujah

Ryan's heart swelled as the music played on, realising how much Marissa meant to him. As he saw the sign for the airport exit drawing closer he wasn't sure if he'd be able to do this, if he could let her go. He knew it was now or never.

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Ryan placed Marissa's bag on the floor as he glanced up at the departures board that graced the walls of the airport, noticing Marissa's flight number flashing. The final call. Marissa turned to him her eyes downcast as she realised this was it.

"Looks like this is it Cooper," Ryan half smiled, his eyes crinkling with sadness as Marissa stood before him. She raised her eyes to meet his.

"I'm glad you're here with me Ry, I never thought I'd be saying this but I guess this is goodbye." She said softly as she felt tears gathering in her eyes, her vision beginning to blur. Ryan took a step forward uncertainly, finding her hand and clasping it gently.

"You know you don't have to do this 'Riss. You don't have to go." He whispered looking deeply into her tear-filled eyes.

"But I do Ryan, maybe it'll be good for me getting away from all this. Too much has happened. I just can't stay." Marissa replied as hot tears cascaded down her cheeks. Ryan felt his heart breaking as the only girl he ever loved slipped away from him. He pulled her thin frame tightly to his muscular chest and wrapped his arms around her as he felt his shirt grow wet with her warm tears. "This is harder than I thought it would be." She mumbled into his chest, a sob htiching in her throat. She finally pulled away, gently wiping the tears from her eyes and sniffing.

"Then don't leave." Ryan whispered so softly Marissa barely caught his words but looking into his eyes she knew he had said them. She looked away from Ryan's intense gaze, forcing herself to pull away.

"You know I have to do this Ryan." She replied tearfully. Ryan looked down before finding a surge of confidence, he wasn't going to let this girl go without a fight.

"But you don't! Stay here with me." He pleaded, grabbing a hold of her hand once more and pulling her closer towards him. She looked down, another tear threatening to fall.

"You can't do this to me now Ryan." She said softly.

"But I...I...I love you Marissa." He burst out, tilting her chin with his gentle touch so she was looking into his adoring gaze. She shook her head, more tears falling.

"That's not fair Ryan, you can't do this to me. Not when I have to leave." Marissa stood back defiantly, trying to summon enough courage for her to do this, the hardest thing she'd ever had to do. Ryan shook his head and grasped her shoulders.

"No." Ryan said firmly. "No, Marissa look me in the eye and tell me that you don't love me. Tell me that you want to leave." A moment of silence hung heavily in the air, the bustling sounds of the airport coming to a halt in both their minds. Slowly, Marissa reached down and picked up her bag with shaking hands.

"I don't love you Ryan. I have to go." She turned around and began to walk towards the departure gate, turning back only once and offering him a sad glance before disappearing into the crowd of people walking through the gates.

Ryan stood alone, staring at the place where she had just been standing. She had gone. She had walked out of his life, she didn't love him. He had just poured his heart out to her and she had thrown it back in his face. What was he going to do without her? He wasn't even sure that he could live without her. He closed his eyes before looking down feeling tears building behind his closed lids.

Atwoods didn't cry. He blinked the tears from his eyes before turning and walking slowly from the airport, hands in his pockets and eyes downcast not even caring who he bumped into, just wanting to get out. He loved her but she had left him just like everyone else and he didn't know if he could take it.

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As Ryan walked out of the airport and towards his car he felt a drop of rain and he looked heavenwards as rain began to fall from the sky. He pulled up his hood and shoved his hands in his pockets. Reaching the jeep he climbed in, glancing upwards he saw a plane departing and he felt his heart wrenching as he thought of Marissa. He started the engine and immediately the stereo burst into life, blasting the remaining chords of Hallelujah and he felt hot tears trickle down his face only now he was unable to stop them.

Feeling rage build up inside of him he lashed out at the stereo cutting off the sound as he smashed the buttons.

"Fuck it!" He shouted, punching the steering wheel as he leant his head against it. Finally letting everything out as sobs wracked his chest.

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Sandy sat in his office finishing the last minute paperwork he had to finish before tomorrow. He glanced up at the clock with a sigh. Ryan should be back by now. He yawned and put his head in his hands, he wanted to go to bed. The sound of the front door slamming woke him from his stupor. That must be Ryan. He got to his feet and peered around the door and found Ryan standing in the hallway, soaked through.

"Ryan, you're soaked!" He exclaimed as Ryan's gaze remained fixed on the floor. Sandy could tell something was wrong. "How did it go at the airport kid?" He asked knowing the answer wasn't going to be good. Ryan avoided Sandy's gaze.

"She left." He said hollowly taking a step forward, away from Sandy before he felt a hand on his shoulder.

"I'm sorry Ryan." Sandy replied softly.

"Me too." Ryan answered blankly before turning and walking out leaving Sandy staring at his retreating back.

Ryan crossed the patio not even noticing the icy rain lashing down upon him. It reflected his mood. Reaching for the poolhouse door handle, he stepped in, closing it behind him. He looked around the room, the pictures of Marissa and him mocking him as they stood on the shelves beside his bed. He sighed, before sittting down on his bed, beginning to unlace his boots. Kicking them off, he spotted the brown leather punching bag hanging from the ceiling in the corner, as he realised nothing could fix this. Nothing could stop the aching in his heart, nothing could fill her now-empty place. She was gone, and there was nothing he could do about it.

Everything in the poolhouse seemed to remind him of her. The bed they had lied in together, the days they had spent laughing, happy, sharing each others love with each other, he had thought it would never end, that she was the one. He thought that she had loved him back, no matter what they had been through. He thought she would at least still care for him, he was wrong. He could hear the rain lashing angrily against the glass windows, running down the glass in streams, like the tears he had cried for her. It took a lot to make Ryan Atwood cry, but he wasn't ashamed to admit that Marissa Cooper, the girl next door, had reduced him to tears after all of these years. He just wanted her back in his arms, to comfort her, to hold her and never let go. To be the one that would love her unconditionally, like no-one else could. This year had been hell for him, watching their relationship disintergrate before his eyes as Johnny ripped her away from him, the pain had been almost unbearable. But meeting up again at Berkeley, he had realised he could never live without her, he felt the same spark he felt on the driveway that warm summer's night all those years ago. And when Volchock hurt her, he had been the one to catch as she fell, the one that he thought she could rely on. He let out an exasperated sigh, and stared up at the ceiling of the poolhouse.

The phone began to beep on the sideboard, and he looked away, not wanting to talk to anyone. He heaved himself to his feet, and shuffled to the bathroom, shutting the door behind him, blocking out the noise. He just wanted to get in the shower, wipe the tears away, wash the memories of this night away and forget it had even happened.

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Ryan pulled a shirt over his head, his wet hair dripping as he wiped a towel once over it. He glanced over at the phone, the red message light flashing and taunting him from across the room. Sighing, he walked over, lifted to the phone from the cradle and pressed it to his ear. The mechanical voice echoed in his ear.

"You have 1 new message. Sent today at 01.23 am. To listen to this message, push 1." Ryan pressed 1 on the keypad, listening to the message. He pressed the phone to his ear once again, and he felt his heart skip a beat as he realised who it was on the phone.

"Ryan...it's me...Marissa...I've been thinking about what you've said. I've--I've been so stupid. I do love you, of course I love you...this is all such a big mistake. I just want to get off this plane and be with you. I keep thinking of all the things that I should have said but I didn't say, I lied Ryan, I do love you...I've always loved you...and I don't want to leave you. In fact, I need to get off this plane..." The message cut off, Ryan left standing shocked phone to his ear in the middle of the poolhouse.

"Oh My God...Did she get off the plane?" Ryan thought frantically, grabbing his boots, almost tripping on the undone laces in his haste, shoving the phone back into its cradle, not caring about his appearance, the Cohens, anything, nothing but Marissa. He had to know, he had to get to her before it was too late. Running towards the door, he ripped it open, stopping still at the sight in front of him. Marissa stared up at him, with tearfilled eyes standing in the middle of the pouring rain in front of him, black mascara trails snaking down her cheeks as rain and tears mingled down her face, hair and clothes completely drenched through. But to Ryan she still looked breathtakingly beautiful and he felt his breath catch in his throat.

"You got off the plane..." Ryan whispered over the lashing rain, dumbfounded and stunned by the figure in front of him, the one person able to take his breath away from him.

"I got off the plane Ry." Marissa choked through her tears, smiling slightly as she took a step forward into his outstretched arms. Ryan pulled her into a intense embrace, hands sliding around her neck, she looked up into his eyes, tears spilling down her cheeks.

"I couldn't do it Ryan...I couldn't leave you..." She sobbed, smiling as she looked into Ryan's shining eyes. Ryan smiled back down at her, unable to contain his happiness as he gently wiped the tears away from her eyes.

"I love you Marissa..." He whispered, smiling as he pulled her tighter towards him and he felt her arms snake around his waist. Marissa choked out a laugh.

"I love you too..." And with that, Ryan pulled her into a passionate embrace, lips interlocking as their tongues entered each others mouth, the rain pouring down around them, neither of them noticing as they were lost in each other. From now on, Ryan Atwood knew he would never let her go again.


You may notice the similarities to a certain 'Friends' episode, but we love it so much and just wanted to incorporate it into our story.


TBC. R/R please.