Title: Call The Thunder And Bring the Storm
Author: amaltheaz / pseudohuman
Pairing/s: Rachel/Quinn
Rating: NC-17... Ish
Length: Does 1394 still count as a drabble? Well, it's the shortest I've written anyway, lol.
Disclaimer: I don't own Glee, or anybody in Glee. This is so not used for profit.
Spoilers: AU
Author's Note: So, this is kind of an angsty one, which physically pained me to write 'cause unhappy endings (you've been fairly warned) make me sad especially when it's kind of based on something that I went through. But it's been kind of an awful day for me and I just wanted to post something so I can feel somewhat good about myself. It's not very long because I wanted to focus on the 'moment'... Or something. Basically, I'm trying something new, lol. There are probably ridiculous amounts of mistakes 'cause I just wrote it but I'll come back and fix it later.
Summary: "Sometimes, you can be in love with somebody and they can love you right back. But it doesn't guarantee you a forever."
Call The Thunder And Bring The Storm
"This can't be the end." The blonde shook her head, trying to dispel the harsh reality that was falling on her.
"I don't want it to be. But it has to be."
"But I love you. Doesn't that mean anything?"
The brunette's brown eyes darkened in anger, unable to believe what Quinn was even suggesting. "It means everything to me. There is nothing in this world that means as much as to me, as you loving me."
"Then why are we doing this?"
"I can't live my life like this, Quinn. Constantly wondering, being afraid of when, not if, when you're going to leave me again just because you're scared, again."
It wasn't new, this fight. In fact, it was there even before they got together. It lurked like a thief in the night, waiting to steal their happiness. Quinn couldn't help it, couldn't help that she scared easy, couldn't help that she needed to feel in control of her life. She hated that she couldn't just let go, that she couldn't just take that leap of faith that Rachel always took when it came to them. Quinn didn't know anymore whether she had faith. No, she had faith in Rachel. But she didn't have faith in herself that she could love Rachel the way the brunette deserved. To her credit, Rachel knew when Quinn went through her scared phases. It was so obvious when the blonde was stuck because she would snap at Rachel with biting words, and they would be transported back two years ago when Quinn was Head Cheerio and Rachel was Man-Hands.
Quinn was forgiven every time she got out of her funk because Rachel knew that the blonde and she just loved her more than life itself. And she thought their love could overcome this particularly huge hurdle. But they were fooling each other with false hopes and it had all finally come down to this. After one too many harsh words, meaningless and thoughtless actions, Rachel just couldn't take it anymore.
"I love you," she said, hoping that the three words that first made Rachel hers, would work in letting her keep the brunette.
Rachel didn't respond but Quinn knew that Rachel heard her. She took the smaller girt's hand in hers, clutching at it like she was about to die. And in a way, she was. "I love you," she repeated desperately.
"I know," the brunette replied, her brown eyes letting Quinn know that Rachel wanted to say those three words back. God, she wanted to say them because there was no way she could ever stop loving the blonde. All her life Rachel felt everything was set on a path for her and Quinn was spontaneous and different, and she made Rachel see that it wasn't so bad to not stick to the plan. That life could be better if she just stopped to breathe. And Quinn was that very breath of fresh air that Rachel took into her lungs every single time she needed it. But Rachel couldn't say the words because she knew she had to be the strong one. Quinn was going to keep holding on to her and Rachel knew that she had to let go first. She was tired of always being the one that had to chase Quinn down, to convince her that they could make this work.
"I love you," Quinn cried out.
"I know," came that same reply in a teary whisper.
Quinn then stood in front of Rachel, stood nose to nose until brown eyes finally met her. The blonde took one last look at her love with her luxurious chestnut locks that she used to spend days running her fingers through and delicious plump lips that she could never get enough of; and they stared at each other in silence when Quinn carefully laid a warm hand on Rachel's tearful cheek, breaking the spell they were under. And just like that, Rachel raised her own hand behind Quinn's neck, tugging at the silky blonde hair while pulling the girl towards her into what started out as a hard, angry kiss that turned into one full of yearning, longing and surrender. She pushed Quinn down on the bed, keeping their lips locked on each other, and they fell breathless and broken.
Because this was the end and they knew it. But they couldn't stop themselves from letting their hands roam over clothes and then under them, seeking to touch warm flesh that was by then so familiar to them but always felt so unfamiliar every single time. Soon enough they were stripping each other off their garments. Stripping each others layers until they lay naked, pressed against each other, wishing they could melt into each other so they would never have to let go, so they would never have to be without each other.
"I love you," the blonde said, unable to stop herself from saying it again. Unable to stop her heart speeding like a racehorse. Unable to stop her pulse racing like it's being chased by bulls. She couldn't stop because this was what Rachel did to her. This was the effect that Rachel had on her. Quinn's body was a slave to Rachel's knowing, urgent hands. They moved with a purpose of wanting to tenderly conquer, with a hungry desire that was insatiable, and this time, with a bittersweet finality that neither wanted to face.
"I know," Rachel moaned out, as Quinn left soaking wet tears that followed hard bites and soothing licks on sensitive, tanned flesh.
The blonde sprung into action, her hands reaching out to the petite body that was climbing out of her bed. "Please don't go," she begged, keeping a claw-like grip on Rachel's waist.
"Quinn, I have to," the brunette whispered.
"No, please. You can go in the morning but please, if this is the end, let me just keep you for one more night," Quinn pleaded, pulling with her hands until she was kneeling behind Rachel, desperately holding the brunette's naked form to her body. "I just want to feel you," she rasped out, nuzzling her face into Rachel's hair.
Rachel shuddered, feeling the exquisite softness of Quinn's body against her back and she sighed, nodding. She turned around and then laid herself back down to perfectly curl into Quinn's body. She wrapped her arms around the blonde's slim waist and nuzzled her nose into Quinn's neck. She breathed in the only person she would ever love, she breathed in until her lungs couldn't take it, until she felt her lungs could burst. She wanted to capture Quinn's scent, wanted to trap it inside her forever so that she would always have this part of her. So she would always be home, no matter where she was in the world. Rachel licked her lips, closing her eyes and moaning quietly in pleasure as the tangy taste of Quinn greeted her tongue. She kept her ear to Quinn's chest, listening to every steady beat of her heart, committing the rhythmic sound to her memory, knowing that this is the only music she'll ever hear from now on.
"I love you, Rachel."
And they fell asleep to the rhythm of their broken hearts.
Quinn woke up to the cold air enveloping her back. Cold air that reminded her too much of the loss of warmth and love that she could never get back. This was how it was going to be from now on, cold everywhere around her and everywhere inside her. Everything was just so cold. She flipped around to lay on her back, to look up at the ceiling and stare at the glow-in-the-dark stars that Rachel had stuck on one restless afternoon that now felt like an eternity ago. A rustling stopped her movement, and she reached her arm behind her, grabbing hold of a piece of paper that had stuck on her back. She recognized Rachel's fluid handwriting as she traced her name on this particular parchment with her eyes. She unfolded it carefully with the knowledge that this was the very last thing she would ever have of Rachel, and as she read it, she finally let the tears fall.
"I love you too."
Of this tragic ending
Running out of things to say
Wash the sheets
And clear your head
You'll be okay
But bury me deep down
In every song you play
Rachael Yamagata – Pause The Tragic Ending
- THE END -
