Disclaimer:
I don't own Naruto, or any of the characters I use in this story. If you recognize the characters, use Google to find their owners.

A/N: I'm still sorry... please have a cookie...


Chapter One: Tale One, Roughly Tale One.

Hello Diary, it's me, your author with many names. Some call me Nine Tails(yeah that's where you get your title), Rikudou-jiji named me Kurama, lowly mortals call me Kyuubi but I call myself Big Daddy Kyuu. Nice to meet you! You can call me Awesome Q for short.

What? My introduction sounds lame? I can't hear you introducing yourself. Technically, you're supposed to be a memoir. I'm not that sentimental so don't make me turn you into an old man's hobby.

Now why did I get a diary? Currently I'm thirty years old, finally mature enough to live on my own since Rikudou-jiji keeps saying so on his death bed. I decided to write in this diary nine stories that will show my supreme awesomeness to my future self or my mate and kids.

Wait...! Kids? I don't want kids! Children are all whiny and stink. They poop a lot and I don't think I can handle that. Seriously, Jiji is proof of that!

Shukaku and Nibi are the youngest in the group and I'm positively hundred percent sure they are the cause of Jiji's imminent death. I mean, if constantly worrying about what your pseudo kids do doesn't kill you early, what will?

Once, that stupid tanuki put sand in Jiji's brown sugar container. Jiji nearly choked to death. Do you know how embarrassing that would have been if people find out the strongest beast's(Awesome Q's) father figure, who was the strongest human alive died by choking on his tea? Common Tea!

I'm not going start ranting about the silly pranks Nibi has been pulling left and right since she got a tiny bit of chakra in her stupid imitation of the glorious body of a funky fox. I have more dignity than that.

Right now, I'm embarking on a journey that will take me around the world and I'm sure I'll do amazing things that would be written on the remaining eight pages.

Till we meet on page two.

-Awesome Q


A/N: Let me hear your thoughts. Please R&R.