Kirk wakes with his own screams echoing in his ears. He takes a quick inventory of himself and his surroundings; all limbs functional, everything seems fine, and he's still in the damn biobed recovering from dying. And judging by the stirring form in the chair next to his bed, he's woken his First Officer.
"Captain, are you-"
"Jim. We're off-duty, Spock," Jim corrects, allowing a small smirk at annoying the Vulcan.
"Jim," Spock says, his normally even voice betraying a hint of exasperation. "Are you well?"
Kirk's grin slips away. "Yeah, Spock, I'm fine. Go back to sleep."
"Only if you explain why you called out."
According to Bones, Spock has been sleeping in Jim's hospital room since they'd started the transfusion. Once Jim had woken up, Spock asked if he should leave, but secretly, Jim feels safer knowing his friend was there with him. But now, it could get embarrassing.
"Just a nightmare, humans get those sometimes," Jim explains, hoping the human thing will keep Spock from asking anything more of him.
"I am aware of nightmares. I am told it often alleviates the fear if one tells another about the dream," Spock says reasonably. Jim knows there is no way he's going to get any more sleep until he tells Spock the whole damned affair.
"I keep dreaming that I'm- that I'm him, Khan, and I'm- killing all these people, all my friends, and even though I want to stop, I can't, and I keep screaming but no sound comes out and there's all this blood everywhere and-" Jim's on his way to a full-scale freak out when Spock lays a comforting hand on his shoulder. The unexpected contact, especially strange when coming from a Vulcan, is enough to snap Kirk out of it.
"You have no cause for concern... Jim. You are nothing akin to Khan, and you would die before harming your friends." Spock makes it sound so easy, like Kirk can just turn his fears off, but Jim's not Vulcan, he doesn't have that kind of control.
"Can you teach me now?" Kirk asks suddenly. Spock gives him the look Kirk knows means
'confused'. "How to keep from being afraid." He sees the moment Spock realizes what he wants, sees the fear as he relives those moments by the core.
Spock's hand on Jim's shoulder tightens. "I cannot. Fear is... Unavoidable, in this circumstance. I do not know how to hold it back." And that's a revelation. Just knowing that he isn't the only one who was afraid somehow made it less frightening.
"You're always in the dreams," Jim admits, and Spock looks at him again for clarification. "The nightmares. Everyone else shifts around- Uhura, Scotty, Bones, Sulu, Chekov- but you're always there, and you always die. And each time it happens, I wake up screaming, afraid it might be true."
Spock stares at him in the darkness for a long time, and Kirk can't seem to get a read on his face. After long minutes of silence, Spock slides into the biobed alongside Kirk, turning Jim onto his side and wrapping an arm gently around his stomach. Rather than question this strange event, Kirk just enjoys it, revels in the confirmation that Spock is alive and well.
Warm lips press against the back of Jim's neck, and he hears a whispered "Sleep, Jim," before exhaustion takes him.
