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She lay very still, knowing it was almost over. When he left, she turned on her side and pulled her knees to her stomach. Tears rolled down her full, red cheeks even after she fell asleep. In her dreams, Amelia escaped to happiness.

Zelgadis had heard the rustling of leaves even over Lina and Gourry's argument. He slipped away, ready for a fight. The figure he spotted moved cautiously through the brush. The chimera seized the figure, whirling it around. "Amelia?"

"Z-Z-Zelgadis-san?" she stammered before fainting.

He caught her and carried her back to the camp. Lina healed her, but the princess remained asleep. "Hey Zel, did she follow you?"

"No," he stated quickly. However, he was almost certain she had.

Lina shrugged and returned to her fight with Gourry. The princess blinked her eyes open and flushed. "Zelgadis-san?"

"That's where we left off." Zel helped her sit up and retrieved a small bit of food for her. "You shouldn't wander off like that, Amelia."

"Uh, well…daddy thinks that too." She held back tears. "Will-oof!" She was knocked back by the impact of Lina's fireball on Gourry. Zel began to berate the fiery-haired sorceress and Amelia took the opportunity to slip away. The princess soon came to a clearing and lie on the cool grass to watch the stars.

"So there you are," Zelgadis stated, sitting nearby.

"Uh-huh."

It was hard to start a conversation with her, mainly because he still thought of her as a little sister. However, the chimera sensed a change in the princess. "Amelia, why did you follow us?"

"I guess…I just wanted one last adventure." She paused briefly, then asked, "If something bad happens, how can people keep going on? Is it better to just give up?"

"You have to try to overcome it."

"And…if it's too hard to bear…too horrible to even think of?" she stammered.

He looked at her for a long time. "I don't know." Zelgadis gently touched her shoulder, finding that she had slipped into sleep. Sighing, Zelgadis lifted her and carried her back to camp.

Two weeks later…

Amelia had gone to bed early, her nerves shot and a simple plan in mind. Tonight, after he left, she would kill herself. She had already left a trail that would point to him after her death. So she waited.

She screamed into her pillows. Her plan had taken a wrong turn and she knew she would be blamed. Amelia felt drained. Now she had to live with the guilt of her father's death as well as the violations he had committed upon her. The princess waiting, praying they would execute her instead of imprisoning her.

A month later…

Under her uncle's instructions, Amelia was under close watch. It had been determined that she had been the target of the assassination, not her father. It had even prevented her from attending the funeral. So the crown princess sat in her room, ashamed and a little relieved. Her body had mostly recovered from the abuse, but she was often driven awake by life-like nightmares. It wasn't until this point in time that another harsh reality crashed upon her: she was pregnant.

When the three heard of Prince Phil's death, they made their way to Seyruun as so as possible. However, when they arrived they were kept away from the princess. As Lina demanded to see Prince Christopher, Zelgadis slipped away.

The chimera snuck into the garden and touched the secret door. Amelia wouldn't appreciate him using this, but he didn't think she should be alone. A few years ago, when they had thought her father was dead, Amelia had shown him these tunnels. She was so afraid for her safety and thought he could use the information to help. Now it had come to that.

Zelgadis stepped into her room, pulling the wall back into place. She was sleeping with her comforter clenched tightly in her fists. Her face was pale and wan from being inside so long, but there was something else that he couldn't identify. He gently touched her shoulder and said, "Amelia."

She jerked awake and pushed away from him. For a moment, the princess was caught in the web of her nightmare. Then her eyes cleared on the familiar, startled face. "Zel-Zelgadis-san?"

"Are you all right?" It was a stupid question, but he knew she needed someone to ask her.

"I…" She burst into tears, cupping her face in her hands. If I tell him, he'll hate me. He'll never…oh, God!

"Amelia." Zelgadis took her in his arms and smoothed down her hair. This time it's real and she…He kissed the top of her head, then lifted her face so he could kiss her forehead. The chimera hesitated before letting his lips touch hers. However, it was merely a fraction of a second and the return kiss was well worth the venture. His hand slid from her back to her side. She rewarded him with a sigh as well as another kiss. If his conscience spoke up, he didn't hear it. "Amelia," Zel murmured, his lips against her neck.

"Please…don't stop."

It was all he needed. They went slowly and quietly, the princess whimpering as she came. When he finished, Amelia began to cry. "No, don't.."

"I'm sorry," she whispered over and over. The princess was mortified at what she had done. Yet, she loved Zelgadis and would never regret giving herself to him. She knew she couldn't make him responsible for the child she was already carrying. "Zelgadis-san, I…"

"Sh." He kissed her. "I love you, but right now they won't let me near you."

"But-"

"But when you want me to, I'll come back." He lay with her awhile, stroking her long dark hair. "I love you, Amelia."

"I love you, too." She began to sob against his chest and soon fell asleep.

He left her with a kiss and a promise. Lina was furious at his absence, but he simply shrugged it off. Zelgadis had a mission.

Three months later…

Her nightmares hadn't stopped and she had taken to sleepwalking. Even though she was well guarded, things had become lax and the sleeping princess had managed to elude them. One night, Amelia had slipped and fallen down the full flight of stairs. Everyone was in an uproar until Zelgadis returned to Seyruun.

He laid the washcloth on her forehead. Her fever hadn't dissipated and he feared the worst. She had already miscarried, but he knew he couldn't bear losing them both. Magic healing only worked temporally, so he didn't even bother. The chimera busied himself filling a tub with cold water. After a few hours, her fever spiked and he dunked her into the icy water. Amelia's eyes came open, clear and focused. She gasped and grabbed onto his arms. Zel lifted her, then wrapped her in a thick blanket. Soon she was asleep again, but her fever didn't return.

Zelgadis was sleeping across the bed when she woke and she gingerly touched his face. "Zelgadis-san?"

"Um?" The chimera blinked, then smiled as he saw those two beautiful eyes. "Amelia. I was so worried about you."

"Wh-what happened?"

Zel hesitated. "You were sleepwalking and fell down…"

She covered her mouth, but the sound escaped. "I didn't…I didn't do it on purpose!"

"I know. I know." He moved his face close to hers. "I'm just glad that I didn't lose you both."

"Both…" Amelia's eyes welled up with tears. As she cried, Zelgadis comforted her. Relief washed over the princess.

"Amelia?"

"Yes?"

"I'm ready if you are." She smiled and nodded. "I love you."

"I love you too." He settled in next to her, happy to be with the woman he loved.

Seventeen years later…

The crown princess closed her notebook and stumbled to her bed. Amelia knew she was dying, but felt her husband needed to know the truth. She knew that she couldn't say it and the notebook would serve as a record if Zelgadis didn't make it back in time.

Ellie, Albert, and Andrew stood as their father returned home. The eldest, Ellie, spoke up, "Papa, mama isn't doing well. She wants to see you right away."

"Is mama dying?" the twelve-year-old Andrew asked.

"I think so," his father replied.

"But we don't want her to," Albert stated.

He kissed and hugged his three children. "I don't want her to either. Be good. We're expecting a friend, so be polite."

They nodded. Just as their father was about to leave, Ellie added, "Tell mama we love her."

"I will."

Amelia woke when his hand touched hers. "Welcome back."

"How are you feeling?"

"All right. I'm glad you're back." She smiled.

Zel sighed. "You haven't seen the kids lately…they miss you."

"I don't want them to see me die." Amelia squeezed his hand. "Would you do something for me?"

"Sure. What is it?"

"Will you read that, Zelgadis-san?" Her hand left his and gestured towards the notebook. "I think…you should read it now."

"All right." He picked up the book, then took her hand again. It took him nearly two hours to read what she had written. It wasn't because it was long or difficult to understand, but due to what she had written. "A…Amelia…"

"I'm sorry. I thought you should know."

He squeezed her hand again. "Why…" But Zelgadis remembered the day she had followed them into the woods.

If something bad happens, how can people keep going on?

"I'm sorry. I should have told you…"

"It's all right. I understand." All these years…is that why…

"I hope…I'll see you again."

"You will." He kissed her. She closed her eyes and gave his hand a squeeze. A few minutes later, her hand went slack. "Goodbye, Amelia." Zelgadis let the tears fall as he left the room. He didn't want to tell his children immediately. Instead, the chimera prince opened a room that had been sealed for nearly eighteen years. Rage took control of and the room was soon in tatters. Suddenly the door swung open. For a brief moment he thought he saw Amelia standing in the doorway.

"Papa, what's wrong?" She was frightened, her blue eyes wide at the sight of her father in this way.

"Ellie." He moved over to her, shutting the door behind him. Seeing her nearly broke his heart. While their two sons looked like carbon copies of their grandfathers, their daughter was a startling blend of Amelia and Zelgadis's features. She touched his shoulder. "What are you doing up here?"

"Lina-san is here. Then I heard the noise and-"

"I'm sorry you had to see that."

"Is mama gone?"

"Yes." He kissed the top of her head. "I know it's hard, but-"

"Mama should be in a better place now. I know she loved us." Ellie sighed. "Lina-san is waiting. I'll tell Andrew and Albert what happened."

"All right."

When Lina heard the story Amelia had left behind, she was furious.

However, she was more concerned about history repeating

itself. Ellie became crown princess a week later and

her brothers were left in the care of their

uncle. Only Ellie knew why.