Disclaimer: not mine, of course.
A/N: The "peace in our time" reference is from my story "Peace in Our Time." I believe Neville Chamberlian said, "Now we have peace in our time" after talking to Hitler in 1938.
This fanfic is a bit random, but it is semi-stream-of-conscience and, well, Neville's a bit scattered and random, isn't he?
My gran hardly ever talked to my father. She would sit there and chat, sure, but about stupid stuff like the weather and how the Chudley Cannons were doing (poorly, of course). But she never really talked to him, until the week after I battled the Death Eaters in the Ministry.
"You should have seen him, Frank!" she said, beaming. "He fought like a real Longbottom, and even took on Bellatrix! You would have been so proud! He's just like you, Frank," she added, patting his knee. "Just like you."
They say his mind is gone. They say he doesn't know anyone, not his mother, not my mother. But I swear to you, my father turned to me and there was a little bit of recognition in his eye.
I have no memory of my parents as they were, whole and healthy. I mean, sometimes I think I have a memory of them. I get little flashes now and then of things like a smile or laughter. Sometimes I think I remember my father tossing me in the air or my mother tickling my belly but then I remember what Gran said once- someone gave me those memories. I'm not really remembering then, I'm just remembering a memory someone else told me about. My memory is so poor, I think Gran's right.
I guess that's how Harry and I are alike. He doesn't really remember his parents either. He told me once he can sometimes remember flashes of green light from the night they died. I don't remember anything from the night my parents were tortured. Uncle Algie told me once they recon I slept right through the whole thing. Gran says I can sleep through anything but how I slept through my parents loosing their minds, I don't know. I think, though, that I prefer it this way- not having that memory.
People say my parents are "worse than dead." They think that my parents would be better off dead. Maybe they think I would be better off if they were dead, not having to visit them at St. Mungo's.
I don't know if that's true. Is it better to visit a graveyard every holiday? Is it better to sit and wonder what they might have been like or smelled like? Harry will always have to wonder what his mother smelled like and I know what my mum smells like: fabric softener and roses. Gran says it's just the rose water she brings mum every so often but I know. She always smelled like, even when I was a baby. My granddad told me once it was Mum's favorite and that's why Gran brings it to her. I can hug my mum and she hugs back, even if she doesn't know who I am or why I hug her. Harry can't ever do that.
I used to wonder if Gran loved me. She was always on me to be brave like my father. Grandad rarely talked about him and Uncle Algie would just turn away when the subject came up. I wish I could ask Dad myself if he was always brave. I guess I could; I just know he'd never really answer.
Maybe he would, though. I think there's a piece of my parents left inside of them. A Healer told me they were just fragments of the whole person they were but even fragments look a little like what they were.
My gran told me once that Mum named me Neville because it means "peace in out time." Herimone told me later that it doesn't mean that at all, but that someone else named Neville said something about wanting "peace in our time." I don't know who is right but I do know that I want what my parents wanted too: peace now, in my time, while I live to see it.
I can be brave like my dad to get it or be brave like myself to get it and I think the end result is the same.
