Warnings: yaoi, slash, malexmale, GabrielxSam, SPOILED FOR THE SEASON 5 FINALE, SWAN SONG
Disclaimer: nothing belongs to me except the laptop I'm typing this on
Summery: This is a sequel of sorts of my other story, "Fake Reality." it was just an idea that popped into my head and kind of toke over my mind until I decided to write it down. In short, Gabriel formed a contract with Sam that would allow him to know where he was even though he had the enochian sigils on his ribs by being able to listen to his heartbeat and Gabriel was in love with Sam, was still unsure of his feelings, but returning the affection. This takes up after the season 5 finale, Swan Song.
Mostly because I refuse to accept that my favorite character is dead.
Chapter 1: The Greatest Trick
When Lucifer thrusted the angelic blade through Gabriel's chest it hurt. Hurt more than anything else Gabriel had experienced in these past two-thousand years on Earth. His green speckled eyes widened, looking up at his little brother unbelieving.
It was the Tricksters greatest trick, because the only pain Gabriel felt was that his own little brother had actually tried to kill him. The emotional and physical pain reflecting in his eyes before he let the light take over him and fell to the ground, black wings spread out around him was a lie.
He had never intended to kill Lucifer. Evil or not, he was still his little brother. Hiding on Earth or not, he still loved his family. He had hoped that he could talk some sense into the fallen angel in his own sarcastic manner. His plan all along was to only make Lucifer think that he was going to kill him...maybe that realisation would help the morning start come to light and see the error of his ways, that he was turning Gabriel on him just the same way that Michael had turned on him.
The blade was of course a fake, as he had said earlier after faking his own death to Kali, he wasn't about to give them his real sword...that thing could kill him! So he created a doppelganger of himself to bust through those doors and save Sam, Dean and Kali and confront his Lulu while he snuck around the other side. Lucifer had taught him that doppelganger trick himself, he counted on him recognizing it.
And sure enough he did, but Gabriel realized a second too late that his little brother was too far gone to be saved. He had spent too long in darkness, alone, to allow himself to be reached out to. Gabriel's mind went blank with panic when he felt the blade being thrust into himself and he knew in a heartbeat what he'd have to do. He let the energy flow from his eyes and mouth for the second time that day in a blinding light and fell to the ground as his fake twin vanished in wisps of smoke and created the ashen feathers around himself. That was a trick that he'd taught himself too many years ago. As he laid there, he could have sworn he saw remorse flicker through his brothers eyes. But it was too late, Lucifer had chosen this path and now Gabriel couldn't help him anymore.
He was dead to Lucifer. Just as he was dead to Raphael and Michael when he had first learned the same trick, two thousand years ago when he was overcome with the grief of having to watch his brothers rip each other apart and shred the close bonds their family held. It was then that he realised that he'd never be able to live in heaven, watching his older brothers walk around righteously. He'd faked his own death then so he could fall to Earth and start over. And now here he was faking it yet again.
He had faith in the Winchesters. He had complete confidence that they'd be able to triumph where he had failed in defeating his little brother. He felt a pang in his heart as he heaved himself onto his elbows, looking at his fallen wings handiwork around him. Around right now they were probably watching the video he had left them. Hopefully miles away and safe from Lucy. He silently tapped into his bond with Sam and listened to his heartbeat, but was unable to tell if the young hunter was upset or not. He wondered how he felt thinking his arch angel was dead.
Sam had willingly kissed him back, even defended him against his older brother Dean, who had been slowly coming to terms with the fact that he often woke up to the red-headed angel cuddling his brother in their hotel room. But Sam had never spoken those 3 words to him, never hinted at feeling anything more than contented affection. Was Gabriel just a comfort for him that could easily be replaced with any drunken human in a bar...or would Sam actually miss his touch.
Part of him ached that he wouldn't be able to touch Sam until this was over. He knew the end was near, so until that fateful day he would just have to stay close but unseen and protect Sammy from the shadows.
Gabriel ran a hand through his disheveled hair and squinted his eyes shut. He longed to see Sam right that second, see those hazel eyes that had first captured the angel's attention. He wanted so badly to hold his tall body tight and reassure him everything was alright again and that he'd keep him safe. After all the times Gabriel had been hunted down by hunters and suffered through fake deaths, this one was the most harsh. The only one where he'd actually lost something.
SZSZSZSZSZSZSZSZSZSZSZSZ
Miles away Gabriel could hear Sam's heartbeat, but he couldn't feel the pain it was twisted in as the hunters hand remained on the lid of his laptop he'd just closed. Unshed tears sprung to his hazel eyes as he blinked them away, refusing to cry infront of his older brother, especially after the arch angel's joke about sobbing over his death.
His mind refused to wrap itself around the fact that Gabriel, his Gabe, his very own literal arch angel on his shoulder, was gone. He had always seemed so invincible, and yet every beat of Sam's heart seemed to chant 'he's gone, he's gone, he's gone.'
A slight breeze blew Sam's long curly hair around his face and he desperately looked around hoping that it was the draft of wind that often occurred whenever an angel appeared of vanished, but seeing nothing but the empty highway and barren roadside under a bright sun that seemed to be mocking his misery. He hoped with every ounce of energy in his body that Gabriel had been wrong when he'd created that tape, that he had somehow miraculously come out of the ordeal alive just like he'd always had. But his heartbeat kept up the same rhythm, taunting him, 'he's gone, he's gone, he's gone.'
He laid his forehead against the roof of the impala, the black metal slightly burning him under the sun but he didn't care. He couldn't get Gabriel's mischievous Chesire cat of a grin out of his mind and he desperately wished that when he had formed the contract with the angel that allowed him to hear the human's heartbeat, that it was a two-way deal. He needed to know that he was still alive.
'But if he was still alive he would have been here by now.' A voice inside his head whispered. Sam flipped open his laptop, closing all his windows and staring at his background. The desktop background that Gabriel constantly changed to pictures of his own angelic self was replaced with the original background of a full moon over a lake reflecting it back in ripples. Sam had never wanted to see that background less and he slammed the poor computer shut once again unable to cope with the reality that was setting in.
That Gabriel was gone.
Once again, just like Jessica and Madison, someone Sam had loved was gone. Everytime he got close to someone they died, so why did he even bother trying to have a small amount of happiness anymore? He had bit his tongue everytime he almost told the angel he loved him out loud because he had been so afraid that if the words were spoken that something horrible would happen to him. And it did anyways, as if fate could read his mind.
His shoulders shook with restrained effort to keep himself standing and his eyes dry. He snuck a glance at Dean who was sitting on the hood of the Impala with his back to his little brother giving him privacy in his moment of emotional vulnerability. Dean, who had given him his little hints of support in his homosexual and trans-species love decisions. He may have given him a hard time, and it may have taken him awhile to come around, but Dean loved his little brother. All he'd ever wanted his entire life was to see Sam happy. And he was finally coming to terms with his newest change in his life when it had been snatched away.
Sam hadn't known that Dean had found Gabriel in the backseat of the impala when he was releasing the hostages. He had seen the broken, dead look in Sam's eyes as he was unable to tear his gaze away from his angelic lover that laid slumped and lifeless in that chair after being stabbed by Kali while he was unable to do anything to stop it and save him as the arch angel had so often saved them. He'd left that room knowing that Sam had no regrets about summoning Lucifer, even if it meant his own end.
And he didn't know about the conversation they had in the car. Deans own words haunted him, repeating themselves back to him and reminding him that he was the one that convinced Gabriel to stand up to Lucifer and therefore sacrifice the life of the only person his little brother loved. And Dean didn't know if he'd ever be able to tell him. He felt guilty enough as it was, he didn't know if he'd be able to take the way Sam would look at him afterwards with those eyebrows scrunched in a pitiful way that made whoever they were directed at want to sooth their fingers through his hair as if comforting a small 6'4" puppy.
And back at the motel Gabriel didn't know if he'd ever be able to go back to Sam, even when the apocalypse was over and face the betrayal in Sam's eyes as he learned that the angel that once fought so hard to convince him he loved him faked his death so he could once again go into hiding.
End of chapter 1
This chapter was blah, blah blah. Sorry this was so short. The next chapter will take place after Sam throws himself into hell.
