Haley Jenkins tried to stifle a sob as she stood in front of the mirror in the bathroom. A copy of the Daily Prophet lay forgotten on the tiled floor. Faces of the heroes that died in the final battle at Hogwarts smiled and waved up at the sobbing Haley. The war had just concluded only three days ago. And already people were trying to make life normal again. But people would always remember those who died fighting the side of evil.
But there was one face that was not smiling up at Haley. Surely if it had been in real life, he would be smiling and trying to comfort her. But if Severus Snape was still alive, Haley would not be crying.
Professor Severus Snape, the world's best potions master, had died for the war. His face scowled in the picture and he looked at all the other pictures in disgust. Haley always remembered that Severus did not smile in public, never mind in pictures. He had told Haley one day that she was the only one to make him smile in a very long time. Haley cried even harder at the memory.
Severus had been Haley's teacher for her entire time at Hogwarts. She had graduated just one year before the battle had taken place. Meaning she was just one year older than Harry Potter, the ultimate war hero. But Professor Snape had been Haley's favorite teacher, and Haley had been his favorite student, despite being in the house of Ravenclaw. He had always said that he admired her brilliance.
Although it may have been awkward for others, Haley and Severus had a close friendship. They would talk about anything and everything any night they could. They both just enjoyed the other's presence. But that relationship soon turned into something bigger. In Haley's sixth year at Hogwarts, Severus Snape had kissed her.
And that relationship only progressed. They spent almost every moment they had together. But then, Severus reportedly killed Dumbledore. He ran away that night. Haley had felt betrayed. She couldn't believe he had done that. The next day she graduated and was never seen by the wizarding world again.
There was only one person who knew where she lived. Her name was Samantha Powers and she had been one of Haley's best friends in school. Once a week, Samantha came to check up on Haley and make sure she was all right. She knew that ever since Snape had left, Haley became depressed. So she made sure Haley didn't do anything harmful.
Haley shook uncontrollably and stared at the picture of the one man she had ever loved. How could she have been so stupid? He had never been evil; he just had to do what he had to do to help the light side. And he had paid for it with his life. Haley was suddenly angry with herself. He hadn't deserved her at all through her years at Hogwarts. He deserved someone who had stuck with him until the end. But wasthere someone in the world who hadn't doubted him at least once?
Haley shook her head in anger. It didn't matter. None of it mattered anymore. He was gone and Haley was left to deal with it on her own. A lone tear trickled down Haley's cheek and she brushed it away forcefully. She glared at her reflection in the mirror and couldn't believe herself. Someone who didn't even trust the love of their life didn't deserve to live. She didn't deserve to live. She should have been the one to die instead of Severus. Haley balled her hands into fists and raised both of them. In her anger, they came crashing down against the mirror and it broke.
Haley gasped at the sudden noise of breaking glass and the pain of thousands of tiny but deep cuts on both her fists. She looked down at her hands and the tears came crashing down once again. She watched the blood pour like a waterfall from her hands and she sat down on the floor of the bathroom.
Well, she had said she deserved to die. Maybe this was it. She would die and maybe, Severus would get another chance. Maybe. She just had to hope.
Haley felt her energy being drained and knew that she was almost out of blood. She breathing quickly became shallow and her eyes drifted shut slowly. She didn't even acknowledge the dark shadow of a person now standing in the open doorway.
"I love you Severus," she whispered and then everything went black.
Severus Snape awoke in a white and unfamiliar room. He put his hands in front of his eyes to hide the unwanted light and groaned. But nothing came out.
Immediately, Severus's hands went to his throat. Why wasn't he able to groan? He tried to make another noise, but he stayed silent. What was wrong with him?
"You're going to need to rest your voice before you use it," a voice said from a corner of the room.
Severus instantly stopped trying to talk and looked for the source of the voice. Only then did he notice that there were three women in the unfamiliar room. Two of the woman he vaguely remembered, but the other was totally new to him.
The stranger walked forward and smiled at Severus. He did not return it. The woman chuckled slightly and addressed him. "Professor Snape, my name is Healer Mulroy. You've been in a coma for the past week. I'm glad you're finally up."
Severus barely registered what the woman had said. But when he finally got it, he remembered what had happened. He had been bitten by that damn snake. But why was he alive? He was supposed to be dead. What had happened?
The woman seemed to read his mind. "Professor, Miss Granger saved your life."
At that, Severus snapped his head in the direction of where the girl in question was. He glared at her and she seemed to flinch under his gaze. The other woman then stepped in. Severus finally recognized her as Minerva McGonagall.
"Severus, don't give her that look. She saved your life. You wouldn't be here if it weren't for her," she said firmly.
Severus just turned his glare to her. He didn't care who saved his goddamned life. What he wanted to know was why. Why would Granger of all people save his life? He should be dead!
Severus finally gave up and turned his gaze to the ceiling, deciding to ignore the other's presence. He eventually heard the shuffling of feet and the door shutting softly. When he knew no one was in the room, he shut his eyes. He soon fell into a peaceful sleep.
Haley woke up in an unfamiliar room. She blinked her eyes in adjustment to the bright light and took in her surroundings. Where was she?
She heard the shuffling of something next to her and she looked over. There, she saw her best friend Samantha sleeping in a chair. Why was she here?
Suddenly, the door opened softly and a woman walked in. She smiled in relief as her eyes swept over Haley, but walked towards Samantha. She put her hand on her shoulder and woke her up.
Samantha immediately awoke and instantly turned her gaze to Haley. She sighed and her eyes welled in relief. The strange woman whispered something to Samantha and she nodded in agreement. Then Samantha got up and left the room.
Haley was suddenly nervous. She didn't know where she was and who the strange woman was. Her only friend had just walked out the door and she wanted her to come back.
The strange woman smiled a kind smile. "Don't worry sweetie. You're in St. Mungo's. My name is Healer Mulroy. I glad your finally awake."
St. Mungo's. Awake. Haley finally realized what was going on. She was in the hospital because she had attempted to kill herself. But how long ago was that exactly?
"Awake?" Haley asked timidly.
The healer smiled sadly this time. "You were in a coma for just about a week sweetie."
Haley now understood. She was alive. She hadn't died. And Severus was still dead. Tears came to her eyes but she held them back. She now knew who the dark figure had been in the doorway that day. It had been Samantha coming to check up on her. Haley had always found the visits just a waste of time, but now she saw why Samantha had taken a day out of her week to check on her. So she didn't do something like she had just done.
Haley turned her head away from the healer and tried to keep the tears away. What had happened to her? She was changing immensely, and quickly.
Haley heard the healer sigh and leave the room. Only when Haley heard the door shut softly did she let her fresh tears fall.
Severus was finally able to leave St. Mungo's. And just in time, he thought. Although Severus was still mildly weak, he had absolutely refused to stay there any longer. And since Minerva had offered him his job back, he needed to prepare.
Headmistress McGonagall, Severus reprimanded himself. She was now the Headmistress of Hogwarts and he would do well to remember that.
He would be teaching Potions. Once again, denied his dream position of Defense Against the Dark Arts professor. Severus laughed bitterly at the thought. Headmistress said that he wasn't a world renowned Potions Master for nothing.
As Severus sat in his old office in the dungeons, he thought about what that year would bring. What would people think of him? Would they believe he was on the good side all along? Or would they continue to shun him?
Severus pinched the bridge of his nose and sighed. He needed to focus; not worry about the other's feelings about him.
All of a sudden, Severus heard a knock at the door.
"Come in," he croaked out. His voice was still weak and he only hoped it would come back completely in time for the new school year.
The door opened and Headmistress McGonagall walked in. She was closely followed by Hermione Granger. Severus immediately had his sneer in place. What could they both possibly want?
Severus gestured at the couch and the two women sat down. He conjured some tea and they both took it gratefully.
"What do I owe the pleasure of your visit, Headmistress?" Severus whispered, trying to be easy on his voice.
"Severus, I told you to call me Minerva. But anyway, I've come to ask you a favor."
Severus raised his eyebrows and gazed over at the Granger girl. He couldn't think of a possible reason she had to be there. His gaze was then returned to the Headmistress as she began to speak again.
"Severus, it has come to my attention that you are simply not the same person you once were. I think it would be in your best interest that you take on an apprentice."
This had caught Severus's full attention. Why would he need an apprentice? He had never taken on one in all his years of teaching. Why would this year be any different?
"And am I to suppose that my apprentice would be our very own Miss Granger?" he asked snidely, forgetting to go easy on his voice. He instantly broke into a fit of coughing.
The two women sat and watched as Severus struggled for breath. When he was calm once again, Minerva spoke. "Yes Severus. Hermione is the most qualified person for the position. It is, once again, in your best interest to hire her."
Severus was suddenly angry. No, it wasn't in his best interest to hire Granger, of all people. She would drive him crazy as soon as he took her on. Wasn't there any other person?
And then Severus was struck with an idea. Miss Granger was not the only one capable of taking the position. There was one other person, one who Severus would not mind at all. Actually, he would rather enjoy her presence.
"What about Haley Jenkins. She is also qualified for the position. If I absolutely need an apprentice, I would much rather have her."
But instead of being lit with a rare smile Severus had expected, Minerva McGonagall's face was full of sadness. Severus was instantly filled with dread.
"Severus…Miss Jenkins is in no condition to fill any position here at Hogwarts."
Severus felt his stomach clench in fear. Had she been hurt in the war? Was she okay? Was she even alive? It sure didn't sound like it. "What's wrong with her?"
The Headmistress sighed. "She's in St. Mungo's right now. She just recently woke up from a coma. Maybe, I'm not the best person to tell you what happened."
Severus felt relief seep through his body. Haley wasn't dead. She was just hurt. And by the sound of it, she was recovering quickly. "Then if you'll excuse me, I will take my leave now," Severus said, getting up from the chair he had been sitting in.
"NO! Severus, she's still very weak. They won't let you in anyway."
"I'll find a way. That I promise you," Severus said and walked out of his office.
Haley Jenkins had been asleep for the moment. It was one of those rare occasions where her sleep was not filled with nightmares. They woke her up constantly and took away time that could be used for sleep. But this time, it wasn't her dreams that woke her up.
"I have to see her!" a man's voice roared just outside the door.
"Sir! She was just in critical condition. She needs to rest!" a woman's voice responded.
"What's wrong with her?" the man's voice pleadingly. His voice sounded vaguely familiar to Haley, but she just couldn't place it.
"That's something I can't tell you. It's confidential. We can't tell anyone but direct family members," the woman told the irate man. Haley figured she must be one of the healers.
"She has no family!" the man screamed once again.
Haley jumped. How did he know that? Only a few people knew that about her, never mind some stranger she didn't know. But that voice did sound familiar. Perhaps she did know him after all.
"I'm sorry sir," the healer said with finality.
Haley heard the man roar in anger. "I have to see her!"
The woman said nothing in reply. Haley guessed she must have shaken her head because the next thing she knew, the door burst open.
Haley jumped at the sound and heard the healer scream in surprise. But her gaze went immediately to the man now standing in the doorway. And she gasped.
"Haley," Severus Snape said, his voice breaking.
Haley just gaped in awe at her supposedly dead ex-professor. Had the newspaper lied? Or did he really come back to life?
"Haley, what happened?" Severus said nearing Haley's bedside. But all of a sudden, a healer arrived behind him.
"Sir, I've called security. They will be here to pick you up shortly. I would suggest you leave right now."
"Healer, please let him stay. I want to speak to him," Haley pleaded, finally finding her voice.
The healer hesitated. The look in her eyes was unreadable. But she finally nodded her head in agreement.
"I…I guess he can stay. But only for a while. I'll go tell security they don't need to come," she said and left the room, shutting the door behind her.
"Haley, what happened? Please tell me you're alright," Severus asked once the door His voice sounded strained, but he showed no other evidence of being hurt.
Haley looked up at Severus. She couldn't believe he was standing right in front of her.
"How…how are you here?" Haley finally said.
Severus gave Haley a questioning look. "What are you talking about?"
Haley felt the tears come to her eyes once again. She was starting to get tired of the constant tears. What was wrong with her lately? Everything set her off now. And she used to never cry.
Severus's eyes widened at the sight of Haley's tears. She never cried unless it was really important. "Sweetie, what's going on?"
Haley felt sobs beginning to rise in her throat. Was she really going to break down right in front of Severus?
Then, as if it had a mind of it's own, a sob escaped her. Well, that answered her question. She was going to break down in front of Severus.
So Haley let the rest of the tears fall. If she was going to cry, she had better make it good.
Severus paled slightly and rushed towards Haley's bedside. He wrapped his arms around her and held her close. Haley continued to sob.
"Shhhh. It's alright. Tell me what happened," he whispered into her hair.
"You died! The newspaper said you died in the war. I thought I had lost you for good!" Haley yelled into Severus's chest. And then she continued to sob.
Severus was surprised. If she thought he had died, who else did as well. And she thought she had lost him forever. And she was crying because of it.
Severus shook his head and pried Haley from against him. He held her at arm's length and looked at her. Her eyes were full of tears, but that only made her blue eyes even brighter. Her dark brown hair was a mess. The usually straight locks of hair were sticking up at all ends. But she still looked beautiful to him.
Severus smiled slightly as Haley slowly stopped her crying. She hiccupped and Severus broke into a full smile. Something he rarely ever did.
Haley smiled weakly at Severus's smile. Even when she was in her worst mood and looked horrible, she still could make him smile. Haley jumped back into his arms and clung to him like he was the last thing she would ever feel in her life. Severus reacted by wrapping his arms around her waist and holding her closer. He dipped his head to let it rest on the top of her head. Severus smiled as he felt Haley sigh in content.
But then he realized where he was and why.
"Haley, why are you in St. Mungo's?" Severus asked slowly.
Haley looked up in shock. He was just going to change the subject as quickly as that? She still didn't know why he was even alive.
"I promise I'll tell you what happened to me as soon as you finish telling me what happened to you," Severus said as if reading her mind.
Haley nodded and hesitated. How was she going to explain what she had done?
Haley took a deep breath and held out her hands. They were still scarred, but were healing fast. Haley flinched as Severus took her hands in his much larger and cooler ones.
Severus's face hardened as she examined both of her hands. He snarled to himself and dropped Haley's hands. He turned his angered eyes towards Haley.
"What did you do?" he asked slowly and dangerously.
"I…didn't mean to. I was angry with myself for…for letting you die. And I should have believed you were good all along. I was just so stupid and all I cared about was myself," Haley said nervously. Her eyes looked pleadingly into Severus's obsidian ones to make him understand.
But Severus did not understand. His own eyes flared, but he did not raise his voice any higher than it had been. "What did you do?" he repeated.
"I… punched the mirror," Haley said.
Severus took a deep breath as if trying to calm himself down. But it didn't work much. "Why would you do something so stupid?" he screamed in anger.
Haley looked down at her hands in shame.
"Look at me!" Severus yelled.
Haley's eyes welled up in tears, but did not look up at him. He had seen enough of her tears.
But Severus didn't give her a chance to hide her tears. He put his fingers under Haley's chin and forced her head up. He looked slightly taken aback by the tears, but the anger quickly filled his eyes once again.
"Tell me why Haley," he said steadily once again.
"I thought you died. You didn't deserve to die. I did. I didn't stick by you while you fought behind the enemy lines for us. You were the real hero. I was just the idiot who didn't know what was going on. I should have stuck with you until the end," Haley explained, her face covered with fallen tears.
Severus sat in front of Haley, sitting on her bed, his hand still holding her chin up. He was shocked. He hadn't meant to put her through all that. He didn't tell her what was going on for fear of her being hurt and him being found out. But he should have known she would never tell anyone. She knew how important winning that war had been to everyone. He felt entirely guilty for putting her through everything she had to go through. He caused her to believe he really was on the bad side, and that he didn't love her. But that was completely wrong.
"I…I'm so sorry honey. I didn't mean to put you through that. I didn't know what it would do to you. I…" Severus couldn't think of anything else to say. What was there to say? He wanted to scoop her up in his arms and kiss her senseless. But he just couldn't do that. Not now.
Haley looked up at Severus, her eyes still full of tears. Her eyes held a sadness he never wanted to see her sport in his entire life. What had he done to her? He had to drop his hand from her chin and leave the bed. He refused to look at her. "I should be leaving now," he whispered and turned around.
But he heard a small voice in back of him that made him turn around again. "So you were never dead?"
She thought he had lied to her that much! He had really messed it up with her for her to think that. Severus took a deep breath and looked at Haley. Her eyes still held unshed tears, but they hid a kind of anger inside them.
"No, I was dead. I have been told my heart stopped several times before I fully recovered," Severus said truthfully.
Haley looked at Severus and nodded. She wanted to believe him, she really did. But how could he have fooled the entire wizarding world? "How…how did you recover?"
"I would not be here if it weren't for Hermione Granger. She saved my life." Severus sighed and stared at Haley, willing her to believe him.
But Haley's eyes betrayed her next words. Her eyes were filled with anger, but her voice was a forced calm. "That's good."
Severus raised an eyebrow and eyed Haley curiously. "Your eyes don't support your words. You're angry. Tell me why."
Haley's reaction was immediate. Her hands balled into fists and her face went cold. "Maybe you should leave! It's obvious you want to get back to Hermione. She saved your life after all."
Severus was taken aback. This was something he had not expected. "What are you talking about?" he asked gently to make sure she wouldn't erupt in anger. He had had much experience with her when angry, and he didn't want a repeat of it.
"It's obvious you like her! You're just here to see what happened to me and then leave. You didn't care at all about me, did you? You…" Haley broke off. Her tears were running down her face fast and she couldn't hold them in. She had just lost the love of her life. Haley turned to face the wall so she wouldn't have to look at Severus.
Severus was in shock. How could she have even thought of that? Him and the Gryfindor know-it-all? He shuddered at the thought.
Severus bit his lip and put his hand on Haley's shoulder. But she flinched and backed up into the corner of her bed.
"Haley, how can you say that? You know I hate that girl. You're the one I love."
Haley let out another sob.
"You know, I never stopped thinking about you when I left. I wanted to find you, but I knew I couldn't. I was afraid you would get hurt. The year without you was torture."
Haley quieted down some, but still refused to look at him.
"I really did miss you," Severus finished.
Haley turned around suddenly. "Oh Severus," she cried and jumped into his open arms. She smiled and kissed him.
Severus kissed her back and held her tightly. He would never let her go again. She was his.
"I love you Haley," Severus whispered.
Haley smiled. "I love you too Severus."
