Theme: They say I made my money messing up young minds.

A/N: Innuendos ahoy. Also, beware of the Bushims, comic references and memes luriking in this fic.


Momoko was lying limp on her bed, cheeks flushed, wet towel on her brow, thermometer sticking from her mouth, but she was smiling. Her two best friends were paying her a visit and, more importantly, they bought her sweets.

She shifted a bit to be in even level with the two girls sitting near her bed.

"So, tell me. What did I miss? How was school today?"

"Well, let's see...," Kaoru began.

---

Miyako and Kaoru stopped running once they reached the school's roof. Kaoru opened her compact and the screen switched on, revealing a serious-looking Ken.

"What's the issue today, Ken?"

"A dozen of black spore-infected cephalopods emerged from the ocean and assembled into the city. You must hurry. A minute ago, Peach detected them attacking the famous Japanese animation studio Toei... huh, what is it, Professor?!"

Miyako and Kaoru blinked, wondering what has distracted Ken before finishing his sentence and leaned closer. They saw the kid scientist give a baffled look, let out a heavy sigh and turn towards them again.

"Nevermind, the cephalopods consumed the animation studio staff's drugs and started cannibalizing each other. They're no longer a threat." The screen switched off.

After deciding not to try to understand what had just happened, Kaoru closed her compact.

"Well, at least we will not be late, recess is over," Miyako pointed out.

The two were heading downstairs on a relaxed pace. "Yeah, and yesterday Ms Keane said that she wants to tell us 'something important' and stuff. Maybe she'd get angry if all three of us skipped."

Students were gradually flocking outside their respective classrooms, while the two girls were also approaching their own. The hall was filled with the mixed voices the chattering pupils.

Which was replaced with gasps and shouts of fear when everyone noticed that the whole school was shaking.

Before they could try to protect themselves from the earthquake, a giant metallic drill burst from the ground. Everyone nearby were running away screaming, while more of the intruder's body was surfacing.

Kaoru snapped out her surprise and hastily stood in front of Miyako, clenching her fists. Though she couldn't transform in front of everybody, she wanted to face the new horrible threat!

"Huh?" Everyone stared as a door opened from the capsule-shaped 'monster'. A rather familiar figure hopped out.

"Oh it's just Ms Keane's android hippy boyfriend from the underground," Kaoru said as Miyako in relief stepped next to her.

On cue, their homeroom teacher walked out of the huge machinery, smiling.

"Aw how sweet, right in front of the classroom's door, too! Thank you again for the lift, honey."

"Mogura mogura." The mole man gave a thumbs up, jumped into his vehicle and disappeard as noisily as he had appeared.

"Sorry for being late, everyone. Lets move in and get started, okay?" The teacher walked into classroom, soon followed by the still shocked students that were minding the big hole in the floor.

Once everyone was seated, Ms Keane stood in front of her desk and coughed.

"Class. You are now, all, at the age of blossoming development. Of growth. Of exploring yourselves, your friends, each other..."

The girl sitting behind Kaoru raised her hand.

"Ms Keane, we've been given the 'birds and the bees' speech a long time ago," she said with a monotonous voice.

"More reason to take it to a next level. See, it is my duty to inform you all about life. A very famous man I personally know once asked: 'Is our children learning?' It's my job as a teacher to respond to this agonizing question."

The teacher pulled a huge book out of thin air and before she could open it, Kaoru eagerly raised her hand.

"Ms Keane, please can this lesson be limited about the sexuality between the homo sapiens species only?"

The whole class, except Miyako, nodded furiously in approval. Ms Keane gave them a bewildered look before answering.

"I don't see why would one be so picky..." She discarded the book away and picked another one. "But since you insist, this one will do."

Right after the students let out a loud sigh of relief, she presented the cover that was titled with huge letters Get In Touch With Mr Weenie and Miss Vaggie.

Most of them started to think of good made-up excuses to leave, but then remembered what happens when Ms Keane is determined to keep everyone seated. She had even directly contacted the White House and had somehow installed a planetarium inside the classroom, just to prevent Akatsutsumi, Gotokuji and Matsubara from skipping.

Realising the futility of it all, everyone accepted their fate.

A couple of minutes passed.

"Understood? Good. Now onto the next page," Ms Keane turned a page of the book and pointed at an illustration. "This is called sixty-nining and it's normal."

A noise from the first seats was heard. Himeko had risen.

"In the name of the Shirogane name and Money, my person not be exposed for one more second on such vulgarities!"

With that, she began to stride towards the door, on her tiptoes to match with her new multicoloured tutu. Her two loyal flatterers stood up and went after the rich girl.

"Perhaps we should stay for..."

"Hanayo, stop having a will of your own and follow our mistress!" Fumika shouted and shut the door behind them.

After a few moments, Ms Keane smiled broadly.

"Oh dear, I forgot that young ones can hardly contain themselves after seeing those things," she chuckled.

She put the book away and stared out of the window, with her expression suddenly changed.

"Maybe you're right, I'm moving too fast," she said warily, still looking at nothing in particular. "I tell you about such activities without even teaching you the basics of human anatomy beforehand... So careless of me. I wish I could set this right."

Before the students could try to console the sad teacher, the door opened.

"Sorry for interrupting your lesson Ms Keane," the Principal said as he stepped inside, "But I'd like to ask..."

The teacher's eyes were glowing like stars, looking at the now confused Principal as if she just saw the answer to all her problems.

"Uhhh, like I said I'd like to..." before the mustached man could finish, Ms Keane lowered her lithe, well-curved form and made a pose that could send Mojo to a distant galaxy.

"Sir... could I ask you one biiig favour?"

---

"...And when she was over with demonstrating the Principal's body to us, she let him know that they were done by handing him back his clothes and then she slapped him up the ass."

After finishing the last sentence, Kaoru stopped strolling into Momoko's room and sat next to the still-blushing Miyako.

Momoko tossed another candy in her mouth and layed her back on the pillows. "So, nothing out of the ordinary happened today, then?" she asked while munching.

"No, not really."