I don't own Harry Potter. J.K. Rowling does. I'm blaming Robert for this plot bunny, he set the challenge. It involved Luna Lovegood, Draco Malfoy (But not in a pairing), a banana, a green and white striped bra appearing on Snape's head at breakfast and the Room of Requirement.
Well, Robert...enjoy. Everyone else, I really hope you can still look at bananas normally. Happy Birthday, Robert.
Luna, Harry, And Several Others Have Weird Experiences.
Harry Potter and Luna Lovegood were working on the Patronus charm, in the Room of Requirement. Luna seemed able to only get out bursts of silver mist, and was starting to lose her normal dreamy demeanour to frustration, despite Harry's gentle, patient coaching. She so desperately wanted to impress her boyfriend, but just didn't seem able to.
Harry stopped her after several more minutes, talking soothingly. He drew her closer to himself, stroking her beautiful white blonde hair, and drew her into a gentle, passionate kiss, putting all of his feelings for her into the gesture. Luna seemed to melt against him, returning the kiss and sighing into his mouth, before the pair separated, with silly smiles on their faces.
"OK, Luna. Focus on how you're feeling right now, and try again," Harry encouraged. Luna focused on all the love and joy she was feeling, allowing her normal dreamy look to become almost ethereal, as she attempted once more to cast the Patronus. Harry had no idea what the creature that came out was, but Luna identified it as a Crumple-Horned Snorcack. She also thought it was female. Harry said he wouldn't have a clue, and would trust her word.
Luna wanted to thank him, of course. And equally, of course, she wanted to thank him in the same kind of spectacular way he had provided her a memory to use in the creation of her first patronus. Their celebratory sex was apparently legendary. It certainly lasted all night. Dumbledore would later make a point of teaching them both silencing charms, and reminding them to ask the Room of Requirement to silence itself if they were going to 'participate in similar activities' any time in the future. Before reminding the rest of the school of the same thing, which caused various nameless people to sneer, catcall, or have other similar childish reactions.
Draco Malfoy, in particular, took great pleasure in asking all kinds of awkward questions, and making the couple squirm. Not that they weren't squirming already, especially as the Room of Requirement seemed to think it was funny to vanish their clothing... either that, or they had been pranked. So now they were trying desperately to find the clothes that thye had been wearing the day before.
Malfoy was truly enjoying giving Harry a hard time over his boxers, which had turned up in the Slytherin dorm. Everyone seemed to enjoy giving Luna a hard time, because she was currently wearing an open robe, carrying her skirt and shirt, and asking everyone she saw if they'd seen the bra which matched her knickers. Her knickers, by the way, were green and white striped. Everyone was having a good laugh over Luna's missing bra, including Luna.
What, you're surprised? This is Luna Lovegood we're talking about, people. This is Hogwarts own resident Little Miss Eccentric we're talking about. Going on a treasure hunt for missing clothes was tremendous fun for Luna. Oddly enough, she didn't even seem to care when Severus Snape came up to her, glowering, at breakfast time. "I take it, Miss Lovegood," he sneered, his trademark scowl firmly in place, "That you are the owner of this monstrosity which has just appeared on my head. You are clearly displaying its matching lower half, after all." Dangling from the tip of one of his fingers, as though he didn't want to have anything to do with it, as though he was utterly disgusted with its very presence, was the bra belonging to Luna's underwear set, its green and white stripes nice and prominent.
"Thankyou for returning it to me, Professor. I'm rather fond of it, after all. Now I can get dressed properly." Luna replied, accepting the bra, removing her robe, and quite calmly and matter of factly putting on the bra, then her shirt, then her skirt, before replacing the robe, as though getting dressed in front of the whole of Hogwarts was a daily occurrence. Harry, meanwhile, was trying to decide whether to support his beloved girlfriend, or sink through the floor, Dumbledore was twinkling like a loon, McGonagall wasn't sure what to do or think, Flitwick was chuckling merrily, and everyone else was either openly laughing, trying to pretend not to laugh, staring in shock, or openly ogling Luna.
Snape stood there, sputtering, unsure of whether or not to take points form Gryffindor or Ravenclaw, before finally sneering at the room in general and stalking off back to the sanity of the dungeons. Poor, poor, naive Snape.
Nowhere with Luna Lovegood inhabiting it can be called 'sane'. Luna's a very sweet girl, and a lot of people love her very much, but almost everyone agrees she looks at the world differently than they do, and a lot of people would question her sanity and/or mental capacity.
Today, Luna had decided to enlist Harry's help in making a cake. A banana and walnut cake, to be exact. Harry was measuring and mixing the dry ingredients, and Luna was playing around with the bananas, (give that whatever meaning you want to.. I can't write lemons!—Meg) when Severus and Minerva showed up at the door of the dungeon they had turned into a kitchen for the morning. "I told you, Minerva. The Headmaster must have lost what few wits he has, to allow such wanton disregard for my dungeons!" Snape was fuming. McGonagall, on the other hand, wasn't sure whether to stare, laugh, or lecture. "Miss Lovegood and Mr Potter, just WHAT is it you're doing?" She finally asked, attempting to glower at the younger duo.
"Baking, Professor, care to join in? I'm just working with the bananas, and then we'll toast the walnuts. Harry's measuring and mixing the dry ingredients, then he can work with the eggs and the butter and the sugar. And then we mix everything together and put it in the oven. Then we clean up the work space and wait for the cake to bake."
Smiling mysteriously at the older witch's incredulous look, Luna added "Professor Dumbledore says he feels like banana-walnut cake for lunch today." When Minerva replied that she understood what they were doing, but WHY were they doing it? "And the house-elves couldn't have..." "Um, Professor? You'd better not let Hermione Granger hear you saying that!" Luna cautioned. "Her Nargle infestation is particularly vicious, and seems to be on a crusade to rescue all the house-elves in existence from slavery." "I've noticed," McGonagall replied weakly, while Snape simply rolled his eyes, and after extracting a promise that the dungeon would be returned to its original state when the two students were finished with it, (and issuing dire threats about what would happen if it wasn't), the two teachers left Harry and Luna to their own devices.
Well, Robert, Happy Birthday from here in Aus. Hope you have a great day.
have a nice day, everyone else. I'm off to work, just as soon as this nausea clears up.
Much love, Meg
