"To be left behind, or to leave behind. I wonder what hurts more."

Kyo Sohma, Fruits Basket (vol. 16)

I stood in the cemetery, countless friends and relatives around me. My eyes never once left the marble grave stone that protruded from the cold ground. It didn't register at first- the fact that I would never see her again. Much to my dismay, there was now no way to deny the fact that she wasn't coming back. Not ever. I would never see her again. The thought pained my soul. As I stood there, clad in black, the memories of out life together flooded back to me.

We met when her "gang sister" began dating my older brother. We may have uttered a passing hello, but other then that we never spoke. It was only, when one day, that I saw her sitting alone on a bench in the park that I approached her with the intention of having a conversation. At first, it was awkward and slightly uncomfortable, but it became more friendly.

She never really liked to talk about herself. That became clear when I asked her a question and she gave the shortest and vaguest answer possible. After that, I never asked her anything about herself. We spoke about the weather and the scenery, it was quite shallow conversation. I was patience, believing she would begin to talk when she was ready.

I was right. One day she told me her favorite color and where she was born. Small things at first. I was content, though. At least it was a start. The meaningless talk continued for a few months, before she slowly started to reveal her tragic past.

Parents? She said she had them. Both were cruel and greedy. They never paid attention to their only child. They never went out together, and never ate as a family. She uttered that being left like that hurt worse then any punch she had ever felt. She said that by middle school she had fallen in with the "bad kids", and spent her days doing "bad things". They still never looked at me, she had whispered with a bitter smile.

It was only when she joined the gang that she felt loved. She felt like she could rely on them, after all, they were her "sisters". She once told me that before entering the gang, she felt like she was alone. Alone. Unloved. Hated. She winced in pain while saying this. Clearly her wounds were fresh.

After spending three months in the gang, her parents kicked her out. She remembered it clearly. Her mother and father both standing before her, all her things thrown into a bag in front of their feet. "There are people needed in this world, and those who aren't. You are not needed." She recalled her father saying. Taking her bag, she moved toward the door, only to be stopped by her mother's voice. "Why is this happening? What happened to you?" She remembered her mother asking.

Here, she paused for a moment, as if her reply deeply troubled her. Her eyes bore into mine as she proceeded to tell me her response. "Yeah? Well you then shouldn't have had me! I hate you!" She cried while reliving this part of the past. I shouldn't have said that, she had whimpered. I wonder how she felt when I said that to her face?

It turned out, that after she got kicked out, she moved in with the woman that dated my brother. The two became extremely close. And, it was through that woman that she met Keitaro. A handsome man, she explained wistfully. With brown hair and beautiful blue eyes. It was his eyes that she liked best, she once confided in me. I will not lie when I say that hearing this hurt. By this time, I had developed a crush on the gang member, so hearing her speak so longingly about another man stirred my insides.

She and Keitaro had not bonded instantly. No, in fact she hated him at first. He made me speak out loud what I tried to deny for so long, she remarked once. Their first encounter was at Miyuki, her gang sister's, house. They had been left alone. "Why are you so angry?" He asked her randomly. She had glared heatedly at him and replied with a stubborn "Nothing." But she said that he wouldn't let her off that easy, and she eventually cracked. "Everything! Everything fucking thing! You, my parents, the whole goddamn world! I wish everyone would crawl into a hole and die!!" She recalled screaming. She said that the tears started before she could stop them, and when she expected to hear him laughing at her weakness, she found him looking rather interested. "I think you want them to love you. Don't worry though, I'm the same way." Then, she cried even harder.

We fell in love, she mumbled with a quick glance at me. She then spoke of how gentle he was to her, and how much he cared for her. They went out often. Every time he had a day off. She explained that it didn't matter where they went. Their love only continued to blossom.What she didn't know, was that her happiness was not meant to last forever.

He died. Killed in a car crash, she had whispered so softly I almost didn't hear it. The time right after he died was blank for her. All she recalled was her constant despair, and the darkness that engulfed her. It was after Keitaro's death that she spoke to her father for the last times. "Father? You said that in this world there are people who are needed, and people who aren't. That's a lie, isn't it?" Then, she hung up on him.

No one is needed. Not me, not you, not anyone. The world will still turn regardless of who is dead and who is alive. It doesn't care, I remember her saying one day. At that time, I thought she was foolish, but, now I understand.

We fell in love. It happened suddenly. One day, our lips moved closer steadily, until they touched together softly. Things began to get more passionate. We started dating, and I even proposed. We were sitting together on my couch, when she turned to face me. "You are so patience with me. Never pushing me at all. That's why I love you!" She giggled cutely. Then, with out even realizing it, I popped the question, and she tackled me into a hug while screaming "Yes!" several times.

Two days before the wedding, she fell ill. She refused to go to the doctor, saying that she would be fine in time for the wedding. Miyuki took over the last minute wedding details. On the day of the wedding, on her way up the aisle, she passed out. The hospital announced her dead that same day.

Looking around, I noticed that the only people left were my close friends, her close friends, and my brother. Her parents hadn't even come. It was when my closest friend, Naruto, placed a hand one my shoulder that I tore my gaze away from the tombstone.

"Come on. Let's go Sasuke." He began to steer me away from the grave, all the remaining people following close behind. 'Goodbye Sasuke-kun!' I could have sworn I hear her voice carried by the breeze. Shrugging it off, I took on last look at the marker, then threw the pink rose in my hand into the air. The wind carried it a little ways, before it landed perfectly in front of the grave.

R.I.P
Sakura Haruno
"All we are is dust in the wind..."