No Strings Attached: A Story of the Fastest Things Alive
A Way Past 20% Cooler Wedding(Credit for the last line in United Hearts goes to the Red Jumpsuit Apparatus for the song "Your Guardian Angel," that song is just too hard not to reference there.)
Sonic the HedgehogThe alter at Angel Island was decorated with rainbow streamers and blue balloons. Knuckles was going crazy from turning his head to keep his eyes on everyone every three milliseconds. Sonic understood his concern; he was trying to set a good example for his son from a previous "marriage" with Rouge the bat. Thanatos was right next to him on top of the Master Emerald, wearing a red tuxedo that matched the one his dad was wearing.
Tails was standing right next to Sonic as the Best Man. He was wearing a black tux with a yellow carnation on his coat. The Maid of Honor was Pinkie Pie and even Sonic had to admit she was beautiful, Rarity outdid herself this time. She was wearing a beautiful white gown with a bare midriff, silver linings and pearls over the top of the torso. Even as the pastor (which was ironic enough already), Shadow's incapability to stop staring was getting kinda creepy. He was wearing a black tux with a red bowtie and carnation. Vinyl Scratch, the best DJ in Ponyville, also made an appearance at the wedding to play the music.
"This is it Sonic," Tails said. "Are you ready to commit?"
"I've been ready for a while now." Sonic said. Vinyl put in the wedding march and everyone looked to the back of the makeshift wedding scene. Sonic's jaw would've dropped if they didn't practice the wedding enough. Dash came down the aisle wearing Rarity's finest work, a shorter skirt in the front that showed her legs from halfway down the thighs, with a train that went four feet behind her. The torso section was strapless with pearls over the front. And it shimmered with rainbows and other light reflections. On her ears were two very different clip-on earrings, one of a shining sun, a gift from Celestia, and the other, a brilliant moon, a gift from Luna. Her hair was braided over her left shoulder with a golden band. She took her place next to Sonic and stood with him as Shadow read the service.
Fluttershy the Rabbit(Step aside Nerokin4! I'm writing this next part!
Who are you?!
Call me Modnar! You're gonna love this!)
Just as Sonic and Dash finished saying their vows, a force field enclosed the entire wedding party, trapping everyone inside.
"What's going on?" Sonic exclaimed!
Just then 37 patent-pending Aperture Science Turrets appeared in a ring just inside the force field…and opened fire.
Dash was the first to go down, with a shot to the gut and shoulder. She fell into Sonic's arms and died. Sonic screamed in sorrow then was mowed down as well. Tails was killed with a headshot, and Shadow with a shot through the heart. Applejack took 76 bullets the fell lifeless to the ground. Silver jumped over Fluttershy to protect her and was hit right in the spine.
"Fluttershy…" he moaned.
Fluttershy screamed, "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" and snapped out of her daydream, that was more like a daymare. Everyone stared at her.
"Are you okay Fluttershy?" Silver asked with concern in his voice.
"I'm fine," she replied.
But she wasn't. (Thumbs up if you like the "Red Wedding" reference from Game of Thrones!)
Dash the Rainbow(Modnar, you're sick! *Whack* bad Program! Now go sit in the corner and think about your life.)
Dash was worried about Fluttershy, having a daydream like that in the middle of a wedding was not normal for her. Maybe she was getting sick or something? There was no way to tell at the moment. Right now Sonic and Dash had to cut the cake. Right as the knife in Sonic's hand had reached the first layer *Boom!* the cake exploded, and Applejack stuck her head out of the base holding a sign that read "Congratulations Sonic and Rainbow Dash." And underneath that in small letters, "the cake is a lie."
"What was that?" Sonic asked.
"We rigged a confetti-cannon in the cake to go off when the cake was cut," Applejack explained. "I was settin' up the cannon when you hit the switch."
"Well… there goes the cake," Dash said. "And now I need this dry-cleaned." Looking down at the dress that Rarity made with disappointment. The cake got her so thoroughly that it wasn't shining anymore, which was a shame considering how much Rarity put into it.
"I can clean it up," Rarity said. "But for now, bring out the spare cake!"
"We have a spare cake?" Pinkie said. Scootaloo moved another cake, identical to the one that exploded, out into the reception area.
"Good thinking, Apple Bloom," Applejack said. "I would've never guessed that the cake would be cut so early."
Meanwhile somewhere in another dimension: "Oops… I should've waited for the cannon."
