Disclaimer: I don't own Chuck. I also don't write fics that make Casey out to be some kind of Don Juan, so I don't own that idea either. This is all a work of parody.
Summary: A series of drabbles about the depiction of John Casey by some fanfiction authors that should only be taken with a grain of salt, as they are intended all in good fun.
A/N: Okay, so the "King of All Chuck Parody" (just a name I'm trying on for size) has another one for ya. Awhile back, Verkisto told me I should do a parody of the over-the-top nature that some people write Casey's character. I decided that there are two ways that this happens. Sometimes an author makes Casey out to be some kind of love machine, and sometimes they make him out to be an invincible warrior. Well, I will play around with both of those ideas eventually. For starters though, we'll deal with the love machine Casey. I hope you enjoy, and please review. Thanks!
Scene 1: From Chuck vs. the Intersect (aka the pilot)
"Okay. I may have to aim my gun at you, so just don't freak out."
"Why?" Chuck asked. Then looking down, "And where did your pants go?"
"Shit!" Sarah exclaimed.
"What is it?"
"It's John Casey: world famous lover," Sarah said matter-of-factly.
"Should that make sense to me?" Chuck asked.
"Well, duh, Chuck. He's John Casey. He can cause people to orgasm just by looking at them. No person, man nor woman, can resist his charms."
"So you took your pants off?" Chuck asked.
"I didn't, Chuck. It's just, when John Casey is around, your pants just disappear."
"That kind of sounds like bullshit, Sarah," Chuck said, unconvinced.
"Chuck?" Sarah drawled. "You're not wearing pants."
Chuck looks down to see that in fact his pants had also disappeared. Although he'd never harbored thoughts for another man, not even his almost girl-like pretty college roommate, the thought of someone that had that type of power over other people was almost intoxicating. Chuck could already feel himself falling in love with the man that he'd never met before.
Sarah had run into John Casey on multiple occasions. The first time, she'd been a head strong young agent, hell-bent on being the best in her field. She'd even managed to avoid the charms of the great Agent Casey. That was, until a more experienced enemy agent had gotten the drop on her and mortally wounded her. Then Casey had ridden in as if on a white horse. He'd killed every baddie in the room even as Sarah took her last breath. But then, Casey had made love to her, bringing her back to life.
"He's mine!"
"He's mine!" Chuck and Sarah said at almost the same time.
"Calm down," Casey said gruffly, finally making his way to the top of platform of the helipad. "It's late, I'm tired. Let's cut the crap and you two tell me what's going on. Then I'll leave both of your bodies here, well sated and go out for a late snack. I'm thinking maybe pancakes."
A/N: You guys are awesome. Peace.
