Hikaru and Kaoru.
It's always been that way- Hikaru is the older twin, I am the younger. Hikaru is immature while I'm more mature. Hikaru can't control his feelings- I'm too in control of mine.
Sometimes I feel like I've robbed Hikaru of his opportunities. Like by being born, I've somehow taken away some of the attention and characteristics Hikaru was supposed to have. At times I even begin to wonder if we were even supposed to be twins- was Hikaru really supposed to be an only child? Were we somehow split into two separate embryo's in which I stole many of Hikaru's traits? Maybe Hikaru was meant to be the one with a clear balance of immaturity and maturity, be able to control his feelings while being completely aware of them.
I've always been the weaker of us. I've always been the one with the health problems and the one that would stay bedridden for days, weeks even, simply because of a fever or cold. I'm the one who's always had the breathing problems or wakes up during the middle of the night because everything hurts or simply because of a nightmare. I'm the twin that clings oh-so-desperately to his older brother as if he's slowly disappearing and holding onto him is the only way to keep him from leaving me- and he is. As if my hold isn't enough to keep him bound to the world of "Us" and keep him from escaping to the world of "Them".
And then Haruhi came.
Haruhi Fujioka, honor student, cross-dresser, Host Club member, and the first person to ever guess me and Hikaru apart correctly on multiple occasions simply by knowing. Not by intuition, not by guessing, but simply by going past everything that makes me and Hikaru similar and picking out our differences, destroying the world we had spent our whole lives to create.
At first I figured it'd make no difference- no one else could tell us apart and Haruhi was a nice enough girl, she wouldn't do any major damage. Right?
Wrong.
Because Hikaru fell in love.
Hikaru fell in love and that was the beginning of the end.
Yes, Haruhi was nice, and she was beautiful by all standards- she didn't try so hard on her appearance like many girls in our school, and her natural look was stunning. Not to mention she was intelligent and could see the things inside of everyone that made them a unique individual.
But I'm not in love with her. I think of her as my baby sister- someone I can confess to and will understand, and someone I can hang out with.
But, no, I don't love her. I can't love her. I gave my heart away to someone else a long time ago. It would be called "love at first sight" but I can't think that far back. Not to mention it's forbidden- illegal, even. It's taboo as they call it. Incestual, even.
I'm in love with my brother.
Yes, I know- disgusting. I'm disgusted with myself for the selfish and perverted thoughts I have during the Host Club "acts" me and my brother perform for our customers, for the thoughts that plague my mind when he slips under the covers of the bed we share.
But I can't help it.
And, if it isn't bad enough, not only am I a homosexual, but I'm also in love with my own twin brother! My mirror image! I am the perfect representation of him and him of me! I'm still wondering if it's narcissistic or not.
Although it isn't like he'd ever care.
See, there never was a 'Kaoru Hitachiin'. He was just the twin that followed around Hikaru Hitachiin. No one remembers me, no one cares for me. I'm just a fake copy of the bigger picture.
No, I'm no one. A nobody. I'm a reflection. A shadow darkened by the infinite abyss that is my older brother Hikaru.
I, am the perfect reflection of Hikaru. There was never Kaoru. Only a mirror. I am a shadow. Or maybe a leech- a discriminating creature who clings to anyone and sucks away any possible happiness. A parasite.
I tried detaching myself from Hikaru and pushing him towards Haruhi, the only way for him to achieve true happiness. By doing that I've pushed myself farther into the depths of depression, I've allowed the greedy hands of darkness to wrap themselves around me and begin pulling me farther into the abyss' clutches.
The world of "Us" has broken. As Hikaru travels outside and takes the portal into the world of "Them" I stay. I stay in the ruins of what once was something beautiful and am chained, locked away in this world and unable to take the first step into a different world.
I'm no longer Kaoru Hitachiin. I never was.
All that's left is a shadow.
A/N: I don't even know what this is- a prologue maybe? All I know is that I'm now working on a new multi-chapter story! I had the idea for this when I was thinking of new story ideas, and I thought of the fact that Hikaru and Kaoru are like mirrors of one another, then I thought of how Kaoru is like Hikaru's shadow, and this popped up. I haven't decided if I'm going to add my OC Codelle Cambridge into this because otherwise I won't have any direction for this story to go in- at least not for a while.
I hope everything was okay punctuation and grammar wise and I hope Kaoru didn't seem to OOC! This is going to be a pretty angsty story and I'm most likely going to add an OC or two into this story just to keep the plot up.
Also, quick note, I'm not really sure what the pairings are for this story yet, so if anyone decides to read this then can you maybe give me some ideas? I know one pairing will be HikaHaru, but afterwards I'm not sure. I don't know if I should make it HikaKao as well, KaoOC, KyouTama, TamaHaru- it's all undecided. So, yeah, if you could just maybe review or PM me your thoughts and ideas? Thanks!
Disclaimer: I don't own Ouran High School Host Club nor any of its characters. Everything belongs to its respective owner. I only own the story idea and any thoughts and statements that came originally from my mind for this FanFiction.
Read and Review, please!
~Angie the Author
