This fic was inspired by Lady Yami Bakura's 'Gutterflower'. I personally
think that her story is one of the absolute best I have ever read and can't
express how much I love it. I suggest you read it if you are looking for a
good Ryou/Bakura fic. Thank you Lady Yami Bakura for your wonderful story!
Now I do not own anything related to Yu-Gi-Oh nor do I claim to. I hope you enjoy this story as much as I enjoyed writing it. I also don't own any of the songs used for this song based story. I would like to thank my friend Claire for encouraging me to write! I wouldn't be able to write a thing without knowing you'll read all of it and love it!
Bakura = Ryou
Yami Bakura = Bakura
This story contains Yaoi, don't like then don't read!
~Lyrics~
"Blah" Speaking
'Blah' Thoughts
*~*~~*~* Scene Change
~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~
Slowly Drifting Chapter One: Changes
I try to hold this under control, but they can't help me
because no one knows - Changes - 3 Doors Down
~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~
Ryou sighed as he looked in the mirror, into his eyes. Normally his eyes were soft and innocent, full of love and care for the people around him. But now the softness has dissapered and was slowly changing cold and angry towards the world. The dark shade of brown that his eyes were has dispersed into a dark and angry shade of amber. Much like his Yami's. The yami that he fears, the yami that doesn't beat him, the yami that ignores his existance.
~I'm not suppposed to be scared of anything But I don't know where I am ~
Ryou placed his hand on the mirror and traced the lines of his face with a long and slender index finger. He smiled grimly when his finger met his eyes and pushed the mirror away as he turned out of the bathroom. Bakura wasn't home so the house was silent and calm. He was out with some friends and Ryou didn't expect him home anytime soon. Ryou walked up the stairs, to his room and started to finish packing the few suitcases that lay on his bed. Ryou pulled the clothes out of his drawers and placed them into one of cases and closed the lid, hard. 'I have to get out of this. It's starting to get scary.' He could feel the anger from being ignored bubbling inside of him along with the fear of Bakura finding out one of his most treasured secrets. The most precious thing Ryou had wasn't anything material, but a secret. A secret that Ryou almost let slip that very day. You see, his secret involved the very person Ryou planned on leaving to keep himself safe.
~I wish that I could move but I'm exhausted And nobody understands [how I feel]~
His secret was well kept under control considering Ryou saw Bakura almost every day. Ryou was in love with the person he feared most. If Bakura knew this, he would surely kill Ryou, saying that love is an emotion and emotion is weak. That is why he had to leave. To save himself from admitting the emotion that would kill him. Ryou was also leaving to find out who he was on the inside. Was he weak? Was he strong? What kind of thing did he find enjoyable besides music? Did he understand the concept of life? Was he really in love?
~I'm trying hard to breathe now but there's no air in my lungs~
Ryou had all of his things gathered and placed in the suitcases. He felt different somehow, looking at the suitcases sitting at the foot of his bed ready to go. He could feel a new person trying to surface. A new person wasn't sure he wanted to be. He was confused, he wanted to stay the quiet loving person he was, but part of him screamed to be noticed. That part of him was trying to take over.
~There's no one here to talk to And the pain inside is making me numb~
It would feel nice to ask someone what was going on with him, but none of his friends had ever had this kind of problem before. If he asked a professional what the matter was he would be considered crazy and probably stuck in a mental ward. He would just have to figure this out by himself. Alone. The thought of being alone wasn't one he liked but he would have to get over that problem. He would also have to find someone who let him stay with him while he sorted things out. But who? Yugi and Yami just didn't have enough room. Joey had moved in with Seto a few months ago, so that would be a definate no. Wait a second. Seto? Maybe Joey could convince Seto to let him stay for a week or two! After all Ryou and Joey had become closer friends after Yugi had slowly stopped hanging out with them when he and Yami had gotton together. That only left him, Joey, Seto and Tristan, but Tristan had gone off to live with his aunt after his mom got tired of his constant trouble making. The three became a close group of friends. Of course Joey and Seto would let him stay! Ryou ran down to the kitchen, grabbed the phone and dialed Seto's number. It rang two times before somebody picked it up.
"Hello? Kaiba residence. Mokuba speaking."
"Hello Mokuba. Is Joey home?"
"Yeah. He's busy trying to get Seto to stop working. I'll get him for you." There was a soft clink as he set the phone down. In the backround Ryou could hear Joey yelling at Seto to get off the computer and spend some time with him and Mokuba. He heard Mokuba say something and then he heard his name. Joey made a noise similar to a growl, directed at Seto. A few seconds later Joey picked up the phone with a sigh.
"Hey Ryou? What's up?"
"Not much Joey. I need to ask a favor."
"Go ahead. I'm sure whatever it is I can do it for ya."
"Would it be possible for me to stay with you guys for a few weeks?"
"I'm sure it'd be fine with Set' but why?"
"I'm moving out of here and I need a place to stay while I sort things out."
"Oh. I'll go tell Seto that you'll be staying with us for a few weeks. Hold on."
Joey set the phone down and muffled voices were heard a second or two later. Then silence, then a shout and thudding feet. "Ryou," it was Seto. "If Bakura did anything to hurt you I swear I will kill him."
"Calm down. He didn't hurt me. I just am tired of living with him."
"Are you sure that's the only reason?"
'You have no idea, I have many reasons.' "Of course it is."
Arrangments for a limo to pick Ryou up were made and they ended their conversation. Ryou hadn't conviced Seto and Joey that wanting to move out was his only reason but they didn't push any farther into the matter.
~Try to hold this under control You can't help me, cause no one knows~
Ryou checked over his things and sat down at his desk, pen and paper in hand. He would just tell Bakura he was tired of his crap and was leaving. Nothing more. Nothing less. As he wrote, he couldn't stop the words that flowed from his hand. He glanced down at the finished paper and sighed. It read:
*~Bakura,
Don't worry, your little house maid hasn't gone far. I'm leaving this house. It's yours now, do what you want with it. I don't care. I don't plan on returning. Don't come looking for me, I know you won't anyway so what's the use of saying this? I regret the very day I met you. I thought that maybe I could get to know you. Maybe even be a friend to you. But you pushed me away. While you were pushing, I found myself changing. I'm not the same quiet little Ryou I was. I don't know who I am now but I'm different. I am human though, unlike you. I have emotions, including the emotion you hate most: love. I have my secrets, just like you. But my secrets are kept hidded for reasons. Unlike yours. You have no reasons for hiding. Or maybe you do and your too scared to show it. Why am I telling you this? Is that what you're wondering now? I'll tell you why, because I am feeling that very emotion that you hate most. And I'm feeling it for you. I have no idea why though. Maybe it's because I'm finally losing my mind. I guess I'll never know, but I'm not sticking around long enough for you to play on this finding. I guess I'll see ya around someday, who knows. Perhaps we'll bump into each other one day.
Ryou ~*
~Now I'm going through changes, changes God I feel so frustrated lately~
'Now that was no where near what I wanted to say but it's to late now.' Ryou put the pen down after reading and folded the note up. He wrote Bakura on it and placed it onto the kitchen table. By the time he was finished the limo Seto had sent for him was waiting paitently in the driveway. Ryou picked his bags up, glanced around his home one last time and left. Locking the door behind him and throwing away his key. Glancing down at the Millenium Ring, he almost laughed. The one thing that brought him this pain and he couldn't bring himself to get rid of it.
*~*~~*~*
Ryou sighed as he watched the street lights pass by in the darkened window. Smiling sadly, he ran his fingers down the glass. The rain that poured over it's surface, had just started a few moments after he entered the vehicle. Each drop that fell, seemed to echo the hurt he felt inside of himself. He couldn't really describe the pain, just a constant ache. He felt like he was entering a new world and he couldn't find his way around. Alone and confused, he was trying to understand the new person emerging from his lonely soul. It was pushing the old Ryou out and bringing itself in. Suffocating the quiet person he once was.
~When I get suffocated, save me Now I'm going through changes, changes~
*~*~~*~*
Joey waited quietly out on the porch, thinking about the way Ryou sounded on the phone. 'His voice was different somehow. Colder, more closed up. His attitude was off key as well. What's going on with him? This can't be good. I'd bet anything it has something to do with Bakura and not Ryou just wanting to leave his crap.' He sighed as the thunder rolled overhead. 'This can't be good.'
The long, black limo pulled up into the driveway and stopped. The lights and engine were turned off quietly, as the driver stepped out of the car. He opened Ryou's door and the young man stepped out. He gathered his suitcases, only allowing the driver to take 2 and stepped up to the porch. He looked up at Joey and smilied a soft, sad smile. Joey nearly jumped when he looked into his eyes. They weren't the typical Ryou anymore. They were a swirled amber and brown, making Ryou look like he couldn't be human or somthing. As Ryou walked up the steps, Joey noticed that his friend walked differently as well. Almost cat-like. The last step was crossed and Ryou set his bags on the ground. He walked over and hugged Joey.
"I can't thank you enough for letting me stay."
"Uh, your welcome Ryou. Would you ah, mind telling me whats up with your eyes man? They're kinda freaky." "Oh. I will try to explain that later. Can we get inside now? It's a bit cold." "Oh yeah. Sorry 'bout that bud."
*~*~~*~*
Ryou gasped as the maid opened the door to the room that Seto was letting him stay in. It was huge, with a balcony looking over the large backyard. The carpet was a deep burgandy along with the curtains the lined the windows that went from floor to ceiling. The bed was large enough to fit at least 5 or 6 people comfortably. A man dressed in an elegant black suit brought Ryou's bags in and set them on the oak bench at the end of the bed. He opened one and began to unpack it.
"No, leave that to me please. I'd like to do that myself. Thank you for your help."
The man nodded silently and left the room. This gave Ryou a chance to look around the large room once more. The bed was dressed in silver coverings and burgandy pillows. A beautiful night stand stood next to the bed and a pretty lamp sat on top of it. A large bookshelf was placed on the wall across the bed, lined with many interesting book titles. Ryou unpacked his clothes into the large dresser next to the bookshelf. A large mirror stood on the opposite side of the bed. As Ryou walked over to look outside, he caught his relfection in that large mirror. He shook his head as he looked at himself. No wonder his eyes had scared Joey. He did look alot different than he did the last time they all were together. Another sad smile graced his lips as he was recalling how much had changed since his graduation, which was only a few months before. Busy recalling, he didn't hear the door open.
"Ryou?" It was Seto. "How do you like your room?"
"Huh? Oh sorry, it's wonderful."
"You can stay as long as you like. We have more than enough room here and Joey, Mokuba and I would love to have you stay a while."
"Thank you Seto. Is Joey all right? He seemed a bit scared earlier." "He was a bit creeped out. I don't know why though."
"He saw my eyes. I have no doubt that he has noticed the other changes as well."
~Feelin' weak and weary Walkin through this world alone~
"Your eyes? Changes? What do you mean Ryou?"
"Look at me. I'm changing Seto. I can't stop it either. My eyes, they've become almost like Bakura's. The colors are different. It's not a mystery why he was creeped out. I'm scared of it myself."
"Ryou, your really not making any sense. What's changing other than your eyes?" "Everything. I feel different on the inside. I feel a new person forcing it's way out and I don't really know if I want to change. I can't stop the constant ache I have inside of me. I'm not able to bear being the quiet one anymore. I almost told Bakura in person how I feel about him. I was scared that if he found out how I feel that he would kill me." "Ryou is this why you left home?"
"Yes."
"How do you feel about Bakura?"
"I have a feeling that you may think I'm insane. Personally I think I am as well, but I've fallen in love with him. That's another change about myself. I find myself loving his coldness and cruelty. I want to know more about him, I've almost hurt myself trying to keep it a secret. Physically he can't do any harm to me. But I can."
"Did you tell him Ryou? Please tell me you didn't. He'll hate you for this." "Hate me? Bakura has always hated me. He's ignored me forever and whenever I try to talk to him he calls me a cowardly fool. He's told me that having emotions is weak and he cannot be around weak people."
~Everything they say every word of it Cuts me to the bone [and I bleed]~
Their conversation continued on for at least an hour before Ryou finally cracked and started crying. Seto didn't try to make him stop. He only held him and allowed Ryou to cry himself to sleep as he told Seto more about how he was changing. He spilled out that he felt like he was turning into Bakura himself, and that he felt alone and scared. Seto merely told him that he and Joey were there for him and he could come to them with any problem he may have. Seto gently placed Ryou onto the bed and covered him with the quilt that lie on the bed. He walked over and closed the curtains before looking back to his friend and sighing. 'He's really scared of himself. We have to get his mind off of this before he gets himself sick over it.'
~I've got something to say But now I've got nowhere to turn~
*~*~~*~*
"Is he alright Seto?" Seto sighed as he drew Joey up in a hug, burying his face into Joey's hair.
"He's scared. He kept telling me that he feels like he's changing. He said that he's becoming more like Bakura and that fact is scaring him. Frankly, I'd be scared too. Ryou also told me that he has fallen in love with Bakura, he thinks he's insane for that fact. He also told Bakura, when he knows that Bakura is going to freak out on him. We have to keep him hidden here until he feels safe again."
"Is they're anything we can do to help? I don't think he needs to deal with all of this at once." "I don't think it's healthy either. Maybe you can take him out tomorrow. Maybe shopping. He needs a new wardrobe for the new person he feels he's becoming. Who knows, maybe it'll make him feel a little better about changing so much." "That sounds like a good idea. But should we have some others come with us? What if we happen to run into Bakura. I'll admit one thing, Ryou's right about being scared of him. I'm scared of what I've seen him do too." "I'll send a few bodyguards. Maybe you can invite Yugi and Yami to come as well. If you do, let me talk to them before you meet up."
"Ok. I'll call them in the morning."
*~*~~*~*
Up in his room, Ryou tossed and turned, His body twisted and his face was locked into an expression of fear. His nightmare seemingly more real by the second.
****Ryou, Joey, Yami and 2 men Ryou didn't recognise were walking down the street talking peacfully. Joey pointed to a store saying something about buying Ryou some new clothes. Ryou nodded and followed the blond teen into the large store. The vision skips to when they have left and are now walking down the main part of the city looking for something. Ryou stopped dead in his tracks as he noticed his other half leaning against the wall casually looking at him. A smirk was pasted onto Bakura's lips as he held up what Ryou remembered to be the letter he wrote the day before. Bakura said somthing that Ryou didn't hear before taking a step foreward. He turned and ran as fast as he could away from the evil man that he tried to leave. He heard the pounding feet of the person following him and screamed as he felt a hand grip his wrist. Ryou turned to look the person in the eye and nearly fainted when he saw......****
Ryou gasped and took deep calming breaths as he wiped the sweat from his face. Why was he so scared? It was only a dream after all and why would Bakura come for him anyway? Bakura didn't want anything to do with him before. Why worry?
~It feels like I've been buried Underneath all the weight of the world~
After Ryou had calmed himself enough to where he could actually see straight he tossed the covers off of him and went over to the window. He pulled the curtains back and looked at the storm behind the glass. Lightning flashed and thunder rolled as he placed his hand on the glass, feeling the coldness of the glass. 'Cold, like Bakura. Threatning, like Bakura. Perhaps this is why I love storms so much. They're so much like him. Oh why can't I just be able to forget him?' '*Because you are becoming him. You are changing into what you fear most and you are embracing it.*'
'Where on earth did THAT come from? I am scared of what I'm becoming.' '*You are becoming something that is the result of pain and lonliness. You are releasing your pain and using it to fuel the morph into another Ryou*.'
'Oh God! I really must be tired. I'm arguing with myself! I must be going insane as well.' Ryou removed his now freezing hand and went back to bed. His swirled eyes closing slowly as another weird thought popped up.
'*The cold and darkness of a mysterious soul is what caused this pain. Are you going to let it take over you?*'
~I try to hold this under control They can't help me cause no one knows Now I'm going through changes, changes God I feel so frustrated lately~
*~*~~*~*
Ryou woke up and had the most annoying feeling in the back of his head. It felt like he wasn't exactly rememering something important from the night before. He also felt alot more confident about the day ahead of him. Maybe the changes were going about in a good way. Who knows? He dressed himself and went down to the living room where he found Joey watching Mokuba playing a video game.
"Morning Joey."
"Morning. Hey would you like to go with me and Yami shopping today? Yug' can't come cuz he's watching the shop while gramps is out of town. But we're supposed to meet him for lunch. While we're out I am taking it upon myself to help get you a new wardrobe!"
"I'd love to come and what exactly is wrong with my current attire?"
"You look like an ol' man in the stuff you wear!"
Without looking up from his video game Mokuba gave an excited "Yeah Ryou, you really do." Ryou rolled his eyes. He was beat.Well the idea of getting a new wardrobe did sound appealing. After all, who can change into a new person with an old wardrobe? Ryou smiled and agreed to go.
*~*~~*~*
An hour later they had picked up Yami and were walking down the street with two men who Ryou was told were bodyguards for Joey. Seto didn't like the idea of him going anywhere without them or Seto himself. Rou made a comment about Seto being posessive of his little puppy and ended up on the ground nursing a bump on the head and a sore bottom.
They were walking down the road quietly talking when Joey stopped and pointed to a very large store bearing the name 'Mirage'.
"Ryou! This looks like a great place to get you some new stuff! Look at all the leather and other cool things they have inside!"
"Uh, Yami? Did you have any idea that he was taking me to buy leather?"
"Yeah. It was my idea."
"YAMI!!!!"
2 hours later, after many grumbles from Ryou and a few laughs from the others they left the store with 3 pairs of leather pants, one pair had flames up the legs while the other 2 were just plain. They also had 2 leather sleeveless shirts. A chain belt, 4 spikey bracelets and with the insistence of Yami, a black choker with a dragon pendent. Joey had also made sure to buy a black sleeveless top with a dragon circling a rose on it as well. Quote Joey 'After all Ryou, your name does mean dragon.' (PLEASE TELL ME IF I AM WRONG ON THAT!!!! I READ IT IN SOMEONE ELSE'S STORY!!!) The next place they went was a shoe store where Joey had bought Ryou a pair of heeled boots. They were similar to Yami's pair of boots. When they left that store it was time to go and meet Yugi for lunch. So they all headed downtown to find the resteraunt that Yugi had told Joey and Yami to meet him at. They were partially lost and were searching for it while arguing a bit on what Yugi had said when Ryou stopped dead in his tracks and started shaking violently.
The others followed Ryou's gaze to a wall about 20 yards away. Bakura was casually leaning against the wall staring at Ryou intently. A smirk was plastered onto his face as he lifted the letter that Ryou had left for him the night before. Ryou swallowed as he noticed the paper in his hand. As he looked from it to Bakura he felt something inside of him snap. Bakura pushed himself off the wall and took a step forward.
~I'm blind and shakin, bound and breakin I hope I'll make it through all these changes When I get suffocated save me Now I'm falling apart, now I feel it~
As Bakura stepped forward, Ryou ran.
~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~
End Chapter One! Next Chapter : It's easier to run
I hope you enjoyed this chapter. I love it and it's my story! Please review and don't flame. I don't like flames to much. They're mean.
~*~Fire of the Angel 9:02 pm 5-2-03~*~
Now I do not own anything related to Yu-Gi-Oh nor do I claim to. I hope you enjoy this story as much as I enjoyed writing it. I also don't own any of the songs used for this song based story. I would like to thank my friend Claire for encouraging me to write! I wouldn't be able to write a thing without knowing you'll read all of it and love it!
Bakura = Ryou
Yami Bakura = Bakura
This story contains Yaoi, don't like then don't read!
~Lyrics~
"Blah" Speaking
'Blah' Thoughts
*~*~~*~* Scene Change
~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~
Slowly Drifting Chapter One: Changes
I try to hold this under control, but they can't help me
because no one knows - Changes - 3 Doors Down
~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~
Ryou sighed as he looked in the mirror, into his eyes. Normally his eyes were soft and innocent, full of love and care for the people around him. But now the softness has dissapered and was slowly changing cold and angry towards the world. The dark shade of brown that his eyes were has dispersed into a dark and angry shade of amber. Much like his Yami's. The yami that he fears, the yami that doesn't beat him, the yami that ignores his existance.
~I'm not suppposed to be scared of anything But I don't know where I am ~
Ryou placed his hand on the mirror and traced the lines of his face with a long and slender index finger. He smiled grimly when his finger met his eyes and pushed the mirror away as he turned out of the bathroom. Bakura wasn't home so the house was silent and calm. He was out with some friends and Ryou didn't expect him home anytime soon. Ryou walked up the stairs, to his room and started to finish packing the few suitcases that lay on his bed. Ryou pulled the clothes out of his drawers and placed them into one of cases and closed the lid, hard. 'I have to get out of this. It's starting to get scary.' He could feel the anger from being ignored bubbling inside of him along with the fear of Bakura finding out one of his most treasured secrets. The most precious thing Ryou had wasn't anything material, but a secret. A secret that Ryou almost let slip that very day. You see, his secret involved the very person Ryou planned on leaving to keep himself safe.
~I wish that I could move but I'm exhausted And nobody understands [how I feel]~
His secret was well kept under control considering Ryou saw Bakura almost every day. Ryou was in love with the person he feared most. If Bakura knew this, he would surely kill Ryou, saying that love is an emotion and emotion is weak. That is why he had to leave. To save himself from admitting the emotion that would kill him. Ryou was also leaving to find out who he was on the inside. Was he weak? Was he strong? What kind of thing did he find enjoyable besides music? Did he understand the concept of life? Was he really in love?
~I'm trying hard to breathe now but there's no air in my lungs~
Ryou had all of his things gathered and placed in the suitcases. He felt different somehow, looking at the suitcases sitting at the foot of his bed ready to go. He could feel a new person trying to surface. A new person wasn't sure he wanted to be. He was confused, he wanted to stay the quiet loving person he was, but part of him screamed to be noticed. That part of him was trying to take over.
~There's no one here to talk to And the pain inside is making me numb~
It would feel nice to ask someone what was going on with him, but none of his friends had ever had this kind of problem before. If he asked a professional what the matter was he would be considered crazy and probably stuck in a mental ward. He would just have to figure this out by himself. Alone. The thought of being alone wasn't one he liked but he would have to get over that problem. He would also have to find someone who let him stay with him while he sorted things out. But who? Yugi and Yami just didn't have enough room. Joey had moved in with Seto a few months ago, so that would be a definate no. Wait a second. Seto? Maybe Joey could convince Seto to let him stay for a week or two! After all Ryou and Joey had become closer friends after Yugi had slowly stopped hanging out with them when he and Yami had gotton together. That only left him, Joey, Seto and Tristan, but Tristan had gone off to live with his aunt after his mom got tired of his constant trouble making. The three became a close group of friends. Of course Joey and Seto would let him stay! Ryou ran down to the kitchen, grabbed the phone and dialed Seto's number. It rang two times before somebody picked it up.
"Hello? Kaiba residence. Mokuba speaking."
"Hello Mokuba. Is Joey home?"
"Yeah. He's busy trying to get Seto to stop working. I'll get him for you." There was a soft clink as he set the phone down. In the backround Ryou could hear Joey yelling at Seto to get off the computer and spend some time with him and Mokuba. He heard Mokuba say something and then he heard his name. Joey made a noise similar to a growl, directed at Seto. A few seconds later Joey picked up the phone with a sigh.
"Hey Ryou? What's up?"
"Not much Joey. I need to ask a favor."
"Go ahead. I'm sure whatever it is I can do it for ya."
"Would it be possible for me to stay with you guys for a few weeks?"
"I'm sure it'd be fine with Set' but why?"
"I'm moving out of here and I need a place to stay while I sort things out."
"Oh. I'll go tell Seto that you'll be staying with us for a few weeks. Hold on."
Joey set the phone down and muffled voices were heard a second or two later. Then silence, then a shout and thudding feet. "Ryou," it was Seto. "If Bakura did anything to hurt you I swear I will kill him."
"Calm down. He didn't hurt me. I just am tired of living with him."
"Are you sure that's the only reason?"
'You have no idea, I have many reasons.' "Of course it is."
Arrangments for a limo to pick Ryou up were made and they ended their conversation. Ryou hadn't conviced Seto and Joey that wanting to move out was his only reason but they didn't push any farther into the matter.
~Try to hold this under control You can't help me, cause no one knows~
Ryou checked over his things and sat down at his desk, pen and paper in hand. He would just tell Bakura he was tired of his crap and was leaving. Nothing more. Nothing less. As he wrote, he couldn't stop the words that flowed from his hand. He glanced down at the finished paper and sighed. It read:
*~Bakura,
Don't worry, your little house maid hasn't gone far. I'm leaving this house. It's yours now, do what you want with it. I don't care. I don't plan on returning. Don't come looking for me, I know you won't anyway so what's the use of saying this? I regret the very day I met you. I thought that maybe I could get to know you. Maybe even be a friend to you. But you pushed me away. While you were pushing, I found myself changing. I'm not the same quiet little Ryou I was. I don't know who I am now but I'm different. I am human though, unlike you. I have emotions, including the emotion you hate most: love. I have my secrets, just like you. But my secrets are kept hidded for reasons. Unlike yours. You have no reasons for hiding. Or maybe you do and your too scared to show it. Why am I telling you this? Is that what you're wondering now? I'll tell you why, because I am feeling that very emotion that you hate most. And I'm feeling it for you. I have no idea why though. Maybe it's because I'm finally losing my mind. I guess I'll never know, but I'm not sticking around long enough for you to play on this finding. I guess I'll see ya around someday, who knows. Perhaps we'll bump into each other one day.
Ryou ~*
~Now I'm going through changes, changes God I feel so frustrated lately~
'Now that was no where near what I wanted to say but it's to late now.' Ryou put the pen down after reading and folded the note up. He wrote Bakura on it and placed it onto the kitchen table. By the time he was finished the limo Seto had sent for him was waiting paitently in the driveway. Ryou picked his bags up, glanced around his home one last time and left. Locking the door behind him and throwing away his key. Glancing down at the Millenium Ring, he almost laughed. The one thing that brought him this pain and he couldn't bring himself to get rid of it.
*~*~~*~*
Ryou sighed as he watched the street lights pass by in the darkened window. Smiling sadly, he ran his fingers down the glass. The rain that poured over it's surface, had just started a few moments after he entered the vehicle. Each drop that fell, seemed to echo the hurt he felt inside of himself. He couldn't really describe the pain, just a constant ache. He felt like he was entering a new world and he couldn't find his way around. Alone and confused, he was trying to understand the new person emerging from his lonely soul. It was pushing the old Ryou out and bringing itself in. Suffocating the quiet person he once was.
~When I get suffocated, save me Now I'm going through changes, changes~
*~*~~*~*
Joey waited quietly out on the porch, thinking about the way Ryou sounded on the phone. 'His voice was different somehow. Colder, more closed up. His attitude was off key as well. What's going on with him? This can't be good. I'd bet anything it has something to do with Bakura and not Ryou just wanting to leave his crap.' He sighed as the thunder rolled overhead. 'This can't be good.'
The long, black limo pulled up into the driveway and stopped. The lights and engine were turned off quietly, as the driver stepped out of the car. He opened Ryou's door and the young man stepped out. He gathered his suitcases, only allowing the driver to take 2 and stepped up to the porch. He looked up at Joey and smilied a soft, sad smile. Joey nearly jumped when he looked into his eyes. They weren't the typical Ryou anymore. They were a swirled amber and brown, making Ryou look like he couldn't be human or somthing. As Ryou walked up the steps, Joey noticed that his friend walked differently as well. Almost cat-like. The last step was crossed and Ryou set his bags on the ground. He walked over and hugged Joey.
"I can't thank you enough for letting me stay."
"Uh, your welcome Ryou. Would you ah, mind telling me whats up with your eyes man? They're kinda freaky." "Oh. I will try to explain that later. Can we get inside now? It's a bit cold." "Oh yeah. Sorry 'bout that bud."
*~*~~*~*
Ryou gasped as the maid opened the door to the room that Seto was letting him stay in. It was huge, with a balcony looking over the large backyard. The carpet was a deep burgandy along with the curtains the lined the windows that went from floor to ceiling. The bed was large enough to fit at least 5 or 6 people comfortably. A man dressed in an elegant black suit brought Ryou's bags in and set them on the oak bench at the end of the bed. He opened one and began to unpack it.
"No, leave that to me please. I'd like to do that myself. Thank you for your help."
The man nodded silently and left the room. This gave Ryou a chance to look around the large room once more. The bed was dressed in silver coverings and burgandy pillows. A beautiful night stand stood next to the bed and a pretty lamp sat on top of it. A large bookshelf was placed on the wall across the bed, lined with many interesting book titles. Ryou unpacked his clothes into the large dresser next to the bookshelf. A large mirror stood on the opposite side of the bed. As Ryou walked over to look outside, he caught his relfection in that large mirror. He shook his head as he looked at himself. No wonder his eyes had scared Joey. He did look alot different than he did the last time they all were together. Another sad smile graced his lips as he was recalling how much had changed since his graduation, which was only a few months before. Busy recalling, he didn't hear the door open.
"Ryou?" It was Seto. "How do you like your room?"
"Huh? Oh sorry, it's wonderful."
"You can stay as long as you like. We have more than enough room here and Joey, Mokuba and I would love to have you stay a while."
"Thank you Seto. Is Joey all right? He seemed a bit scared earlier." "He was a bit creeped out. I don't know why though."
"He saw my eyes. I have no doubt that he has noticed the other changes as well."
~Feelin' weak and weary Walkin through this world alone~
"Your eyes? Changes? What do you mean Ryou?"
"Look at me. I'm changing Seto. I can't stop it either. My eyes, they've become almost like Bakura's. The colors are different. It's not a mystery why he was creeped out. I'm scared of it myself."
"Ryou, your really not making any sense. What's changing other than your eyes?" "Everything. I feel different on the inside. I feel a new person forcing it's way out and I don't really know if I want to change. I can't stop the constant ache I have inside of me. I'm not able to bear being the quiet one anymore. I almost told Bakura in person how I feel about him. I was scared that if he found out how I feel that he would kill me." "Ryou is this why you left home?"
"Yes."
"How do you feel about Bakura?"
"I have a feeling that you may think I'm insane. Personally I think I am as well, but I've fallen in love with him. That's another change about myself. I find myself loving his coldness and cruelty. I want to know more about him, I've almost hurt myself trying to keep it a secret. Physically he can't do any harm to me. But I can."
"Did you tell him Ryou? Please tell me you didn't. He'll hate you for this." "Hate me? Bakura has always hated me. He's ignored me forever and whenever I try to talk to him he calls me a cowardly fool. He's told me that having emotions is weak and he cannot be around weak people."
~Everything they say every word of it Cuts me to the bone [and I bleed]~
Their conversation continued on for at least an hour before Ryou finally cracked and started crying. Seto didn't try to make him stop. He only held him and allowed Ryou to cry himself to sleep as he told Seto more about how he was changing. He spilled out that he felt like he was turning into Bakura himself, and that he felt alone and scared. Seto merely told him that he and Joey were there for him and he could come to them with any problem he may have. Seto gently placed Ryou onto the bed and covered him with the quilt that lie on the bed. He walked over and closed the curtains before looking back to his friend and sighing. 'He's really scared of himself. We have to get his mind off of this before he gets himself sick over it.'
~I've got something to say But now I've got nowhere to turn~
*~*~~*~*
"Is he alright Seto?" Seto sighed as he drew Joey up in a hug, burying his face into Joey's hair.
"He's scared. He kept telling me that he feels like he's changing. He said that he's becoming more like Bakura and that fact is scaring him. Frankly, I'd be scared too. Ryou also told me that he has fallen in love with Bakura, he thinks he's insane for that fact. He also told Bakura, when he knows that Bakura is going to freak out on him. We have to keep him hidden here until he feels safe again."
"Is they're anything we can do to help? I don't think he needs to deal with all of this at once." "I don't think it's healthy either. Maybe you can take him out tomorrow. Maybe shopping. He needs a new wardrobe for the new person he feels he's becoming. Who knows, maybe it'll make him feel a little better about changing so much." "That sounds like a good idea. But should we have some others come with us? What if we happen to run into Bakura. I'll admit one thing, Ryou's right about being scared of him. I'm scared of what I've seen him do too." "I'll send a few bodyguards. Maybe you can invite Yugi and Yami to come as well. If you do, let me talk to them before you meet up."
"Ok. I'll call them in the morning."
*~*~~*~*
Up in his room, Ryou tossed and turned, His body twisted and his face was locked into an expression of fear. His nightmare seemingly more real by the second.
****Ryou, Joey, Yami and 2 men Ryou didn't recognise were walking down the street talking peacfully. Joey pointed to a store saying something about buying Ryou some new clothes. Ryou nodded and followed the blond teen into the large store. The vision skips to when they have left and are now walking down the main part of the city looking for something. Ryou stopped dead in his tracks as he noticed his other half leaning against the wall casually looking at him. A smirk was pasted onto Bakura's lips as he held up what Ryou remembered to be the letter he wrote the day before. Bakura said somthing that Ryou didn't hear before taking a step foreward. He turned and ran as fast as he could away from the evil man that he tried to leave. He heard the pounding feet of the person following him and screamed as he felt a hand grip his wrist. Ryou turned to look the person in the eye and nearly fainted when he saw......****
Ryou gasped and took deep calming breaths as he wiped the sweat from his face. Why was he so scared? It was only a dream after all and why would Bakura come for him anyway? Bakura didn't want anything to do with him before. Why worry?
~It feels like I've been buried Underneath all the weight of the world~
After Ryou had calmed himself enough to where he could actually see straight he tossed the covers off of him and went over to the window. He pulled the curtains back and looked at the storm behind the glass. Lightning flashed and thunder rolled as he placed his hand on the glass, feeling the coldness of the glass. 'Cold, like Bakura. Threatning, like Bakura. Perhaps this is why I love storms so much. They're so much like him. Oh why can't I just be able to forget him?' '*Because you are becoming him. You are changing into what you fear most and you are embracing it.*'
'Where on earth did THAT come from? I am scared of what I'm becoming.' '*You are becoming something that is the result of pain and lonliness. You are releasing your pain and using it to fuel the morph into another Ryou*.'
'Oh God! I really must be tired. I'm arguing with myself! I must be going insane as well.' Ryou removed his now freezing hand and went back to bed. His swirled eyes closing slowly as another weird thought popped up.
'*The cold and darkness of a mysterious soul is what caused this pain. Are you going to let it take over you?*'
~I try to hold this under control They can't help me cause no one knows Now I'm going through changes, changes God I feel so frustrated lately~
*~*~~*~*
Ryou woke up and had the most annoying feeling in the back of his head. It felt like he wasn't exactly rememering something important from the night before. He also felt alot more confident about the day ahead of him. Maybe the changes were going about in a good way. Who knows? He dressed himself and went down to the living room where he found Joey watching Mokuba playing a video game.
"Morning Joey."
"Morning. Hey would you like to go with me and Yami shopping today? Yug' can't come cuz he's watching the shop while gramps is out of town. But we're supposed to meet him for lunch. While we're out I am taking it upon myself to help get you a new wardrobe!"
"I'd love to come and what exactly is wrong with my current attire?"
"You look like an ol' man in the stuff you wear!"
Without looking up from his video game Mokuba gave an excited "Yeah Ryou, you really do." Ryou rolled his eyes. He was beat.Well the idea of getting a new wardrobe did sound appealing. After all, who can change into a new person with an old wardrobe? Ryou smiled and agreed to go.
*~*~~*~*
An hour later they had picked up Yami and were walking down the street with two men who Ryou was told were bodyguards for Joey. Seto didn't like the idea of him going anywhere without them or Seto himself. Rou made a comment about Seto being posessive of his little puppy and ended up on the ground nursing a bump on the head and a sore bottom.
They were walking down the road quietly talking when Joey stopped and pointed to a very large store bearing the name 'Mirage'.
"Ryou! This looks like a great place to get you some new stuff! Look at all the leather and other cool things they have inside!"
"Uh, Yami? Did you have any idea that he was taking me to buy leather?"
"Yeah. It was my idea."
"YAMI!!!!"
2 hours later, after many grumbles from Ryou and a few laughs from the others they left the store with 3 pairs of leather pants, one pair had flames up the legs while the other 2 were just plain. They also had 2 leather sleeveless shirts. A chain belt, 4 spikey bracelets and with the insistence of Yami, a black choker with a dragon pendent. Joey had also made sure to buy a black sleeveless top with a dragon circling a rose on it as well. Quote Joey 'After all Ryou, your name does mean dragon.' (PLEASE TELL ME IF I AM WRONG ON THAT!!!! I READ IT IN SOMEONE ELSE'S STORY!!!) The next place they went was a shoe store where Joey had bought Ryou a pair of heeled boots. They were similar to Yami's pair of boots. When they left that store it was time to go and meet Yugi for lunch. So they all headed downtown to find the resteraunt that Yugi had told Joey and Yami to meet him at. They were partially lost and were searching for it while arguing a bit on what Yugi had said when Ryou stopped dead in his tracks and started shaking violently.
The others followed Ryou's gaze to a wall about 20 yards away. Bakura was casually leaning against the wall staring at Ryou intently. A smirk was plastered onto his face as he lifted the letter that Ryou had left for him the night before. Ryou swallowed as he noticed the paper in his hand. As he looked from it to Bakura he felt something inside of him snap. Bakura pushed himself off the wall and took a step forward.
~I'm blind and shakin, bound and breakin I hope I'll make it through all these changes When I get suffocated save me Now I'm falling apart, now I feel it~
As Bakura stepped forward, Ryou ran.
~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~
End Chapter One! Next Chapter : It's easier to run
I hope you enjoyed this chapter. I love it and it's my story! Please review and don't flame. I don't like flames to much. They're mean.
~*~Fire of the Angel 9:02 pm 5-2-03~*~
