AN: For Kadzuki_Fuchoin, J_Unleashed.
If you have read my other work you would have seen this coming. In several chapters in different fics and oneshots I either hint at Akihito doing something to Kirishima or tell you about what Kirishima in turn did to Akihito, this is the culmination of those events.
I own nothing.
*******VF********
This Is War!
KIRISHIMA:
Kirishima Kei woke up at the usual time, the sun had yet to rise in the horizon and grace the bedroom with its golden rays. The first thing he noticed was the headache pounding like a jackhammer in his head, it was followed by the realization that he was not in his bedroom but in someone else's. That notion in and of itself brought the third realization, he was in pain, and the pain was concentrated in his lower back and… dare he say it… his ass. The last revelation of the short time he has been awake came as a human shaped bulge laying next to him on the king sized bed and completely covered by the sheets.
Kirishima Kei was not a man who swore often, but as his quick mind analyzed the facts upon awakening the only words that crossed his mind were 'what-the-fuck?'
With a still pounding head and shaking legs he stumbled his way to a door that could only be the bathroom and went to take care of his morning business. If what he thinks happened to him last night was indeed what happened he was momentarily filled with new respect for one Takaba Akihito, though that was quickly overpower by another realization. He will never again accept chocolates from that conniving little brat, regardless of how much he insisted, and especially not after he had played a cruel joke on said brat.
His morning business taken care of and his eyes somewhat more focused now that he found his glasses, which had been in the bathroom sink for some reason, and getting over the embarrassment of what clearly sounded like a blob of something he dares not analyze too long falling into the toilet while he took care of his business seeing as he could not stand long enough to pee without his back killing him, he left the bathroom to figure out who was the unlucky bastard that had taken his anal virginity. He was going to kill the man to save his dignity from being shattered into oblivion.
***VF***
As he entered the room, the newly 'de-flowered' secretary came upon yet another realization in this oh so revealing morning; he knew this bedroom. The words "oh, hell no." escaped his lips in a soft hiss. He recognized this bedroom alright; he had been in it in two separate and definitely less shameful occasions to collect something from the owner of the place he was in. For a moment he entertained the thought that he was wrong, that this was not his bedroom, and that he did not just do it with that man of all people. Then the bulge in the bed shifted and a large body with very noticeable blond hair was revealed crashing all his hopes into nothingness. But of course it had to have been him, Takaba would not have been satisfied if it had been someone who could have been easily gotten rid of allowing him to continue his day somewhat normally.
No, now he had to go through the most awkward day of his life watching the face of his work partner and friend all day and pretending they did not just have sex because the little shit in his boss' condo had decided to retaliate and pushed those damned chocolates on them both until Asami himself had said "just eat the damn things and go so I can have sex already" forcing both him and Suoh to eat the apparently aphrodisiac lazed things.
The last thing he remembered was the walk from Asami's door to the elevator and the metal doors closing behind him and Suoh, he remembered feeling very hot during the ride down, and then nothing else. He had never been this angry in his life and Asami or no Asami, Takaba was going to get it. This was war and damn if he was not going to win it.
While he went about collecting his clothes from the floor to try and make his silent escape before the blond on the bed awakened, he tried his best to ignore the steady trickle of fluid out of him and down his legs. He paused and thought 'how many times could we have possibly done it anyways? A man cannot possibly come that much just with one go at it.' He shook his head, he did not want to think about it, and continued to gather his belongings.
Ignoring the cum trickling down his legs and onto the floor had been his downfall. As he was making a hasty yet silent retreat out of the room with all his clothes bunched up in his arms with the intention of getting dressed in the living room and making it to his own condo before Suoh woke up, the unthinkable happened. He slipped… on the cum that had fallen from his ass onto the floor… and he fell, and landed like the proverbial and very loud bag of potatoes in the middle of the bedroom, waking up the sleeping figure on the bed who now with gun in hand watched him in confusion followed by blushing embarrassment.
Oh, yes. He was going to kill Takaba Akihito.
***VF***
AKIHITO:
Akihito walked around the penthouse as he set up the breakfast table and in his happy delight every step was more akin to a waltz than regular walking. Asami watched with curiosity from above the folded crease of the news paper he had intended to read that morning, everything could take second place to watching his lover go about in such an extraordinary good mood despite the long hours of lovemaking the previous during night. It seemed as if he was determined to not let even the activities ruin his mood and Asami basked in the pleasant oddity of it all.
The blond hummed happy tunes as he refreshed his lover's coffee and golden eyes followed every joyful movement. They ate in comfortable silence and Asami was bombarded with very welcomed smiles from his lover to which he still did not know the cause of but the wanted to know very badly to repeat said cause every day for the rest of his life, he was really enjoying this facet of his little lover. The greatest shock of the morning, so far, came when out of nowhere his usually prickly young lover sat on his lap, circled his neck with his slim arms and smacked him with a very loud kiss in the mouth all without a single word of coaxing from him. He really had to know what had Akihito in such a good mood and recreate the event.
Akihito giggled like a silly high school girl at something he was thinking about while still sitting on Asami's lap and the puzzled man just had to ask.
"Why are you in such an exceedingly good mood this morning?" Curiosity was killing him.
"Remember the other day when I asked you, against my better judgment I must say, to lend me some money."
"I do, you should ask me for money more often Akihito. I thoroughly enjoyed the way I made you pay me back."
"Of course you did you sick, perverted, bastard. I am NEVER doing those things again you sick ass." He said with a pout, to which Asami just chuckled and replied.
"We'll see about that."
Akihito waved that answer away with a simple "No we won't." and continued his explanation with a giggle and "best spent forty million yens in my life." Followed by a maniacal cackle.
"What did you spent that kind of money on?" Asami enquired, it had to have been something bad for Akihito to cackle in such a way and he was almost afraid to ask but the need to know was greater than his apprehension of knowing.
"Revenge." The short reply came accompanied with a shit eating grin and for the second time Asami did not want to know but had to.
"Revenge on whom, specifically?"
"Kirishima." Another shot reply and Asami just had to ask.
"Akihito, what did you do?"
"I fed him and Suoh aphrodisiacs last night." He said innocently.
"The chocolates?" Asami guessed.
"Um-hm. It took me five days to track down the guy who sold them but man was it worth it just to imagine what could have happened last night and how embarrassed that glasses bastard must be today. Oh you have to tell me tonight how he was during the day."
"Akihito, please tell me you did not track down that drug dealer again just to screw with my secretary."
"Of course I did, he said if I liked the chocolates I was welcomed as a client and if I remember correctly you had plenty of fun with me in your office after I tried them that time so you have nothing to complain about."
"At least tell me you saved one for us tonight." Asami said with a sigh.
"Obviously I did, what the hell do you think I asked you eighty million yen for instead of just the forty it would take to fuck with Kirishima?" 'Besides, it had been such a pity when the dealer had moved overnight; I really wanted to see that bestial expression on Asami's face again. That time was incredible... that feeling…'
"Hm, but why Suoh? He had nothing to do with it."
"He's just unfortunate collateral in the much bigger picture… dear God I sound like you" Akihito was momentarily appalled by his own admission.
"I will take that as a compliment and for future reference I ask that you refrain from using any kind of drugs on my subordinates just because you have some petty revenge against one of them." Said Asami
"Only you would take such a thing as a compliment. And although my revenge was not a petty one I promise I will no longer drug your goons to get back at one of them."
"Also, refrain from buying such low quality aphrodisiacs in the future. If you truly feel in the mood for such bedroom aids I will gladly provide high quality ones for you."
"Like hell I'll ask you for that. Anyways, my dealer has good quality shit. I got his info from Sakazaki himself."
'Sakazaki, that slimy weasel…' Asami would have to pay him a visit.
"Precisely why I don't want you going to that dealer anymore."
"Whatever."
"You know he is going to retaliate, right?" Asami questioned.
"Oh, I know. I also know that he can't do anything too bad because you will not stand for it so there is not much he can do."
That being said, after a quick look at his watch Akihito stated that he had to go check something out for his editor and had to leave. Though that had something to do with it, he just didn't want to risk being around when goon one and two came to fetch their boss before going to Sion. Asami was left behind thinking that Akihito had failed to realize that short of permanently damaging him or killing him, Kirishima had plenty of room to come up with a scheme for his revenge. Asami would let it go and see how far those two will go, entertainment of this quality was hard to find after all and Kirishima did need to lighten up once in a while.
Many hours later Akihito dragged his tired body through the condo, content in the fact that tomorrow was Sunday and he did not have to get up early for any reason. Asami was already in bed when he reached the bedroom which made him giddy with the fact that he was for once not going to be fucked into unconsciousness and could go straight to sleep after a nice warm shower.
The blond washed the muck and grime of a long day/night of investigative journalisms, which was not to be confused with stalking in the least, and enjoyed the warm water as he washed his golden hair. So tired he was that he just went through the motions of brushing his teeth and hair afterwards without even bothering to look into the mirror.
The young man climbed naked into the bed because at this point he could care less about underwear and clothes and fell into sleep's sweet embrace.
****VF****
'Ah, Sunday, the best day of the whole week.' Thought Akihito as he stretched his arms and watched the mid-morning sun welcoming him into the land of the awakened.
Groggily he went to the bathroom to take care of his morning business and after a very satisfying morning pee proceeded to wash his hands and face. He was about to brush his teeth when he looked up into the bathroom mirror and his eyes opened in horror.
"Motherfucker!" He shrieked. "He did not! That goddamned motherfucking motherfucker fuck!"
His hands went everywhere in a hasty inspection of the damage done to his person, it was not going to come out on its own.
"I'll kill him! I'll fucking strangle him with his guts! Fuck!"
He was pacing and jumping about in outraged fury. He had expected retaliation from the man but this was crossing the line, no one messed with his hair. Quickly he turned to the unanimated and most likely accomplice of the devious secretary. He picked up his bottle of shampoo and squished it into the sink, hot fucking pink! But not any kind of hot pink, it was that luminescent kind of hot pink fond on highlighter pens and gogo clubs in the freaking sixties. Akihito was going ballistic at the flaming pink appearance of his once golden hair.
"That motherfucker!" He seethed.
His slim figure rushed from the bathroom to the bedroom where he looked for underwear only to find all his underwear replaced with lacy frilly girly things… all in that sickening shad of hot bloody fucking pink. Even his dirty underwear was gone. He was really going to murder someone.
Not thinking it twice he just put the less tiny/embarrassing one on and proceeded to put pants and the rest of his clothes. The hot tempered youth stormed out of the room and into the living room fully clothed just to halt at the image of one Asami Ryuichi reading the Sunday paper in the warmth of the morning sun. The smug bastard looked so at peace and self satisfied as he enjoyed a cigarette that it all made the photographer even angrier.
"The fuck are you looking so at peace for?!" He yelled even though he knew picking a fight with Asami for no reason was bound to do more harm than good.
"I am enjoying my rare day off if you must know. More importantly, your new choice of hairdo is not entirely horrendous. I must say, you look good in hot pink."
"Shut up you bastard! This is the work of your god damn secretary, wait 'till I get him for this, he is going to wish he never messed with me for the rest of his days on earth."
"You fail to remember you were the one who began this whole thing."
"That's beside the point, he could have let a childish prank go but instead he did that whole human sacrifice cult thing and scared the shit out of me. I still have nightmares about it you know."
"So you admit your prank was childish."
"That is not what I meant and you know it!"
Asami chuckled at his enraged pink kitten.
Akihito walked to the genkan and bent over to put on his shoes giving Asami a flash of lacy pink to which a perfect black eyebrow rose in question.
"Akihito, what exactly are you wearing under your pants?"
Akihito shut up straight at Asami's question and blushed two shades darker than his hot pink hair.
"Nothing." He said hastily and tried to make a quick retread which was impeded by Asami's fast movement and strong hand.
Faster than he could make sense of it Asami had brought Akihito back into the bedroom, tossed him onto the bed and took of his pants. Asami let out what Akihito could only label as a very scary and hungry sounding growl at the sight of the pink lace underwear.
"Akihito, I did not know you liked to wear this sort of things." The man stated in a low hungry voice.
"I don't!" he screamed "this is because your bastard of a secretary switched all my underwear with this shit and I was going to go buy new ones but I would be damned if I was going to go commando to the other side of fucking Tokyo. Get your fucking hands out of there!"
All his protest came to no avail as nothing could deter a horny Asami. The evil secretary had not only messed with his hair but with his underwear and now he had to deal with the hungry beast. He is definitely going to kill Kirishima Kei.
*******VF********
I had so much fun writing this, especially Kirishima's part. Let me know what you think and PM me any ideas you might want to see on it and if I like them I'll include them.
*See Pink Gold Extra for the reference about the chocolates and Asami's beastly expression.
Setsuna
