Inside an average-looking New York townhouse, the Extreme Ghostbusters were conducting a spectral sweep.
'The signal's stronger up here,' said Eduardo, as he climbed the staircase with a degree of caution.
'You mean it went upstairs?' said Garrett. 'No fair.'
'Let me help you, Garrett,' said Roland, taking the handles of the wheelchair and beginning to ascend the stairs backwards.
'There's definitely something ecto up here,' said Kylie, staring at her PKE meter as she brought up the rear. 'It's got to be at least a class seven.'
'On a Friday?' said Garrett. 'Haven't ghosts ever heard of winding down for the weekend?'
'Hey, guys,' said Eduardo, who had reached the upstairs hallway by this time, 'I think you'd better take a look at this.'
Roland, Garrett and Kylie quickly joined Eduardo on the landing. They immediately saw what had caught his attention: a line of mouse and rat carcasses leading to a closed door at the end of the hallway.
'No wonder they haven't been able to sell this place,' said Kylie. 'Who'd want to tread on one of those on the way to the bathroom in the middle of the night?'
Roland bent down to examine one of the dead rodents, and ran his PKE meter over it. He then reached out to probe its underside.
'Eww,' said Eduardo, 'he's gonna touch it.'
'What can you tell us, Quincy?' asked Garrett.
'It's been killed by several large puncture marks to the thorax,' said Roland.
'You mean it was bitten in the chest by something with really sharp teeth,' said Eduardo.
'Yes, exactly,' said Roland. 'There are definite ecto traces, and a lot of dried blood around the wounds.'
'Sharp teeth... dried blood...' Kylie mused.
'I know what you're thinking, Kylie,' Garrett grinned. 'Vampire, right?'
'Well, it could be a vampire,' Kylie said defensively. 'A reclusive one that feeds on rats and mice.'
'Oh no,' Garrett chuckled, 'and me without my garlic.'
'Well, why shouldn't it be a vampire?' Kylie reasoned. 'I mean, just because we've never seen one...'
'Whatever it is, we won't find out by arguing,' Roland pointed out.
'Who's arguing?' said Kylie. 'I just wonder why Garrett's so quick to dismiss the idea that a vampire might be behind this, that's all.'
'I think it's fairly obvious that whatever it is, it's behind that door at the end of the hallway,' said Roland. 'So, let's go open it.'
'And if there's a vampire on the other side?' asked Eduardo.
'Give me a break,' said Garrett.
'Whatever's on the other side, we'll take care of it,' said Roland. 'Come on – follow me.'
They progressed along the hallway cautiously, carefully stepping over the dead rodents in their path. They reached the door, and Roland put his hand on the knob.
'Wait a second,' said Eduardo, 'maybe we're jumping to conclusions here. Maybe it's not a ghost at all – maybe the ecto traces in this place are real old. I'll tell you what has really sharp teeth and likes to bite mice and rats in the chest – a cat!'
'That's certainly true,' said Kylie.
'Well,' said Roland, 'if there's nothing more dangerous than a cat behind this door, I don't suppose it'll do us any harm.'
With that he threw open the door, and a cat paw as large as Roland himself emerged from the other side, with five lethal claws fully extended. Roland leapt to one side and the claws raked across Kylie's front, ripping through her body armour as though it were paper. She screamed and fell to the floor.
'Kylie!' Eduardo squeaked.
'Cat demon!' Garrett yelled.
'Trap it!' Roland ordered.
There followed several seconds of claws, chaos and confusion before Garrett and Roland succeeded in holding the massive cat demon in their proton streams. Eduardo retrieved the ghost trap from Kylie's back, and the entity was quickly sucked into the containment vortex.
'Is Kylie okay?' Roland asked of Eduardo, who was kneeling on the floor beside her.
'Kylie's just fine,' said Kylie, forcing herself up into a sitting position and wincing slightly.
'No thanks to you, Roland,' said Eduardo, 'jumping out of the way so it got Kylie instead of you!'
'Hey, it was a gut reaction!' Roland defended himself.
'Of course it was,' said Kylie, examining her abdomen gingerly. 'It doesn't matter. It's only a few cat scratches – I'm used to having those!'
'Are they bleeding?' asked Eduardo.
'Hardly at all,' said Kylie. 'Believe me, I've had worse from Pagan. I'll clean them up back at the firehouse and they'll be gone by Monday.'
Eduardo helped Kylie to her feet. She did not object to this, but immediately took on the task of descending the stairs by herself, keeping one arm clutched to her abdomen.
Kylie sat on the edge of the bathtub, holding up her tank top, while Janine finished placing five long, self-adhesive bandage strips on her midsection.
'That should just about do it,' Janine announced, rising from her kneeling position and giving Kylie an encouraging smile.
'Thanks, Janine,' said Kylie, lowering her top. 'But I still say they didn't really need dressing.'
'Better to be safe than sorry,' said Janine. 'Come on, let's go show the others you're okay – they seemed really worried about you.'
'They don't need to worry about me,' said Kylie, as Janine led the way out of the bathroom.
'Maybe not,' said Janine, 'but it's good to have people in your life who worry about you – it means they care.'
'Yeah, I know that,' said Kylie. 'Thanks, Janine... for the dressing.'
Janine and Kylie entered the main living area to find Egon, Eduardo, Roland and Garrett lounging comfortably. Egon had a piece of notepaper in his hand; it seemed that he had just paused in the act of reading it aloud to the others.
'You okay, Kylie?' asked Garrett.
'I was okay in the house, and now I'm even more okay,' said Kylie, taking a seat. 'What have you got there, Egon?'
'It's a letter from one of his old college buddies,' said Roland. 'We were just hearing all about him.'
'Start the story over, Egon, so Kylie can hear it too,' said Eduardo.
'Very well,' said Egon. 'This is a letter from William Suchet, with whom I briefly shared a few classes at college in the mid-seventies. He writes to say that he's in the city for a few days and he wonders if I'd like to have dinner with him tonight.'
'William Suchet...' said Janine. 'Isn't that the guy you and Ray used to talk about as Betamax Bill?'
'Betamax Bill?' laughed Garrett. 'What kind of a name is that?'
'A nickname,' said Egon.
'Well yeah, but how did he get it?' Garrett persisted.
'Bill has always been somewhat behind the times when it comes to technology,' Egon explained. 'People started calling him Betamax Bill because he was the last person in New York to buy a VHS video recorder... or so they said, but I don't see how it could ever be proven one way or the other. Actually, I always think of him by his old nickname, which he earned before I even met him – Bigfoot Bill.'
'Does he have big feet?' asked Eduardo.
'Not particularly,' said Egon, 'but he's made wild claims about seeing Bigfoot up in the Canadian Appalachians on multiple occasions since the early sixties.'
'Wild claims, Egon?' said Kylie. 'Don't you believe in Bigfoot?'
'I neither believe nor disbelieve in Bigfoot, never having seen proof of his existence,' said Egon. 'That is, I've never seen proof of the existence of a missing evolutionary link between man and ape, which is what Bill believes Bigfoot to be.'
'Right!' said Garrett. 'Just like we've never seen proof that vampires exist.'
'Then why do you disbelieve in them so strongly, Garrett, if we've no proof either way?' Kylie immediately shot at him. 'Why discount the possibility with such certainty? After all, if laughter vampires exist, why shouldn't more traditional ones exist too?'
'Come on, Kylie,' said Garrett, 'you're not saying you actually believe in vampires, are you?'
'No,' said Kylie, 'I'm not saying I definitely believe in vampires, but I can't see how you can say you don't believe in them with no proof either way. Do you believe in vampires, Egon?'
Egon gave Kylie and Garrett an enigmatic look. 'I believe in what I have seen proof of,' he said, 'very much as you yourselves do, I'm sure. I believe in ghosts, demons and other supernatural entities because I have seen them and studied them for many years. I believe some are from other dimensions, some are the lost souls of the dead, and some are imprints or impressions of strong human emotions left in particular places. I have seen proof of these things so I know them to be facts. Anything I haven't seen proof of, I can neither believe nor disbelieve... and that includes Bigfoot.'
'You ever told that to old Bigfoot Bill?' asked Garrett.
'Many times,' said Egon, 'but he has his own certainties, and they do not always tally with mine. However, I refuse to think of him as a kook or a liar – after all, I've seen no proof of that either.'
'So, are you going to dinner with him?' asked Janine.
'Why not?' said Egon. 'It might be fun to catch up.'
'Yessiree, I've still got the old Betamax up and running back home in Albany,' Betamax Bill grinned at Egon across a restaurant table. 'Do you know, I still have those tapes I recorded of Charlie's Angels over twenty years ago, and to this day they play like a dream!'
'You should consider copying them onto VHS,' Egon advised. 'Your Betamax player won't last forever.'
'Neither will VHS,' said Bill. 'I predict that within ten years they'll be selling movies on compact discs, and videotapes will become obsolete!'
'A sobering thought,' said Egon.
'But hey, that's enough about me,' said Bill. 'Let's talk about you, Egon. Didn't you used to have some stick up your butt about not eating in New York restaurants because their kitchens were unhygienic?'
'Yes, but I'm working on removing that particular stick, or at least loosening it a little,' Egon replied, smiling slightly. 'Although come to think of it, I'm far from convinced that these are real raisins in this plum duff.'
'And what about the old gang from college – do you still see much of them?' asked Bill. 'You and that Ed Kirillian guy were very close, weren't you?'
'Yes, we were, but I... I haven't seen Edward Kirillian for a long time,' Egon said awkwardly.
'Oh yeah, you and Ed had a bust-up, didn't you? Sorry, I didn't mean to open old wounds.'
'It's fine.'
'What about that funny little guy you took up with after Ed?' Bill persisted. 'He was nuts about ghosts too, wasn't he? He was always stuffing his face with Stay Puft marshmallows. Oh, what was his name?'
'You mean Ray Stantz,' said Egon. 'Yes, I'm still in touch with him. Our paranormal investigations proceeded some considerable way after college. In fact I... well, I don't mean to seem immodest but I'm surprised you haven't heard of us – the Ghostbusters?'
'Ghostbusters?' said Bill. 'Hmm, it rings a bell...'
'Haven't you seen the movies they made about us?'
'No way! Those were based on you guys? I never knew that.'
'But they used our real names.'
'I thought that was just a coincidence,' said Bill. 'There must be loads of Egon Spenglers in the world, after all.'
'Yes,' said Egon, 'billions.'
'So tell me, is the character of Dr Venkman based on a real person, or is he an allegory for the repressed desires of the middle-class white male?'
'Peter Venkman is a very real person. Don't you remember him from college? He was studying for his doctorate in psychology.'
'I never went near the psych department,' said Bill. 'They all thought I was a kook and wanted to do case studies on me. Speaking of which, it's time we stopped beating about the bush and got down to business – I've come here tonight with a proposal for you, Egon!'
'What kind of proposal?' Egon asked guardedly.
'You still don't believe me about Bigfoot, right?'
'I neither believe nor disbelieve you,' said Egon.
'So you've never come across a sasquatch in the course of your duties as a Ghostbuster?'
'Well, yes, I have. But that particular Bigfoot was from another dimension, and we helped him get back there.'
'Oh, cool,' said Bill. 'But Bigfoot from this dimension lives in the Canadian Appalachians, and I want you to give me the chance to prove it!'
'Interesting,' said Egon. 'How can I do that?'
'Easily,' said Bill. 'Come with me to my cabin in the woods near Rogersville, New Brunswick for the weekend, and I'll prove to you that Bigfoot exists!'
'You seem confident that that's something you can do.'
'I am confident because I know I can do it. Will you come?'
Egon smiled. 'Yes, all right.'
Kylie turned back from the door to her apartment and looked up at her companion.
'You didn't have to walk me home, Eduardo,' she said, 'but thanks for doing it.'
'No sweat,' said Eduardo. 'So, er... you gonna be okay from here?'
'What, you mean inside my own home?' Kylie replied. 'Yeah, I think I can manage.'
'You sure those scratches don't need medical attention?'
'They've had it, from Janine. She knows what she's doing.'
'Okay,' said Eduardo. 'I'll be off, then.'
'Yes, you do that,' said Kylie. 'Goodnight, Eduardo.'
'Yeah, goodnight. Unless, y'know, there's anything else I can do before I go, to make sure you're okay?'
'You've done more than enough already.'
'Yeah, I guess so. I'll be off, then.'
'See you tomorrow,' said Kylie, and quickly closed the door behind her. Eduardo stared at it for a few seconds, before wandering off.
Kylie leaned against the inside of the door, her face contorting in deep thought. After a few seconds, she frowned.
'So why didn't you invite him in, then?' she asked herself admonishingly. 'If you're gonna stand here thinking that, why did you send him away? He obviously wanted to come in. Why couldn't you just...?'
She left the thought there, and went off to feed her cat.
'Stupid suitcase,' Egon complained, as he tried in vain to flatten his luggage sufficiently to close the lid. 'I think it's shrunk.'
Janine came over, quickly repacked the case and closed it with ease. She was then forced to grab the back end of Slimer as he shot towards the case and attempted to phase inside it.
'I'm coming too, Janine!' Slimer insisted.
'Not this time, Slimer,' said Janine. 'You stay here and keep me company instead.'
'Yes,' said Egon. 'I don't think your particular brand of raucous enthusiasm is likely to encourage Bigfoot to show himself, Slimer.'
'Do you think you'll really see Bigfoot this weekend?' Janine asked, passing Egon his case and smiling at him.
'I don't know,' said Egon, 'but my mind has to be open to the possibility.'
'You'll be careful, Egon, won't you?' said Janine. 'They have some pretty weird people up in Canada.'
'They have some pretty weird people wherever there are people,' said Egon. 'Don't worry, Janine – I'll be fine. I'll bring a proton pack and a ghost trap with me, just in case.'
'Do you really think they'll help?'
'They couldn't hurt.'
'Are you planning to use them on Bigfoot if he turns nasty?'
'They probably wouldn't work – he's just an animal, not a supernatural entity. If he exists at all, that is.'
'It sounds like you're starting to believe in him,' said Janine.
'I believe in scientific proof,' said Egon. 'And when I see it, I'll believe what it has to tell me.'
The sun was beginning to set as an antiquated Hummer rattled to a stop in the parking lot of a diner just outside Rogersville, New Brunswick. The front doors opened and Egon and Betamax Bill emerged.
'Yessiree, Phil's Diner!' Betamax Bill declared. 'The finest eating and drinking experience in all of New Brunswick.'
'Mmm, yes, I read the sign,' said Egon. 'Is this where Bigfoot eats?'
Betamax Bill laughed loudly, slapped Egon on the shoulder and steered him into the diner. Several heads turned to look at them, and some lit up in recognition and greeted Betamax Bill warmly.
'Hey there, guys,' he grinned back at the locals.
'What'll it be, Bill – the usual?' asked the bartender, pausing in the act of polishing a glass.
'Sure thing, Phil,' said Bill, 'and one for my good friend here too!'
'Er... what exactly is the usual?' asked Egon.
'Trust me, Egon, you're gonna love it!' Bill assured him.
'What brings you up here, Bill?' asked Phil, as he busied himself on the griddle. 'Come looking for Bigfoot again, eh?'
'I sure have,' said Bill, 'and I'll find him, too! I'm going to prove to my pal Egon here that Bigfoot really lives round these parts.'
'Whatever you say, Bill,' chuckled Phil.
'We all know Bigfoot Bill is plum crazy,' laughed a wizened old local, seated at the bar nearby, 'but what about you?'
'Me?' said Egon.
'Yeah,' said the old-timer, 'you. Do you believe in Bigfoot, buddy?'
'Don't call him buddy,' Bill said defensively. 'He's not your buddy, friend!'
'I'm not your friend, guy!' the old-timer snarled.
'Bigfoot Bill's not your guy, buddy!' one of the other patrons joined in.
'I'm not your buddy, friend!' the old-timer shot back.
'I'm not your friend, guy!' the patron shouted.
'I'm not your guy, buddy!' yelled the old-timer.
'Excuse me, but I don't believe in anything just yet,' Egon broke in. 'I'm a scientist – I find evidence, and I form conclusions based on that evidence.'
'Well la-di-da, a scientist!' said the old-timer. 'We don't get many scientists in Rogersville, friend.'
'He's not your friend, guy!' said Bill.
'Please, Bill, let me handle this,' said Egon. 'Look, er... buddy, I'm not here to cause any trouble. I've just come to check out Bill's theories and see what I think, from a scientific point of view.'
'Bill's theories are pure fantasy, from any point of view!' said the old-timer. 'In fact, Phil, I don't know why you keep letting that loony into a nice, reputable establishment like this!'
'Now calm down, Skeeter,' said Phil, 'he ain't hurting nobody.'
'Do I take it, then, that Bill's Bigfoot theories are not widely accepted as plausible in the Rogersville community?' Egon asked the bartender.
'You've got that right, buddy,' said Phil. 'Everyone round here just thinks of old Bigfoot Bill as a harmless old kook... but he don't mind that, do you Bill?'
'Nosiree, not one bit,' Bill grinned. 'I know the truth, and soon Egon will too, and that's all that matters to me.'
'The truth!' Skeeter spat. 'Some truth! No one except Bigfoot Bill's ever seen Bigfoot round these parts! He's never shown us any evidence to back up what he says! If you're a scientist, guy, you must see why we don't believe him!'
'Of course,' said Egon, 'and I don't believe him either. But by the same token, I don't disbelieve him. Why are you so quick to say he's a kook, without any solid evidence either way?'
'The evidence is as plain on the nose on your face, buddy!' Skeeter insisted. 'Bigfoot Bill is a kook!'
Egon looked around the diner and saw that most of the other patrons were nodding in agreement with Skeeter.
'Don't mind them, Egon,' said Bill. 'Just enjoy your steak, then we'll be on our way.'
'Maybe you were expecting everyone in New Brunswick to be superstitious and out of touch with the real world,' laughed Phil, as he handed Bill and Egon their food. 'Sorry to disappoint you, Egon, but Rogersville isn't some backwoods funny farm where we all believe in a bunch of local spirits and monsters, eh!'
At that moment, the door to the outside world burst open and a bedraggled fisherman hurled himself over the threshold.
'I seen it!' the harangued figure declared. 'Down by the old bridge – I seen it with my own eyes!'
'Now calm down, Earl,' said Phil. 'What did you see?'
'What do you think?' Earl screeched hysterically. 'It's coming – it's coming for all of us! I seen it! The Rogersville Rottentroll!'
There followed two seconds of stunned silence, before everyone started screaming and diving under tables.
'All right, everyone, don't panic,' said Phil, fumbling under the counter. 'Here, Skeeter, you hand these out.'
Egon's surprise grew and grew as he watched Skeeter going around the diner and handing everyone a pair of fake antlers from a cardboard box. He was then forced to turn around as he realised that Phil – already bedecked in a pair – was passing one to him across the bar.
'You'd better put those on, Egon,' advised Betamax Bill, who was also wearing antlers now.
'But... but... why?' asked Egon. 'Does this have something to do with the Rogersville Rottentroll?'
'Of course!' said Phil. 'It won't attack you if it thinks you're an elk!'
'It's here! It's here!' Earl was declaiming loudly. 'It followed me – it wants blood!'
In spite of himself, Egon shoved the fake antlers onto his head. At that moment, the door blew open and a tremendous wind whistled into the diner.
