New story! What can I say? Ideas keep popping in my head. :)
This story will have a companion to go along with it. This one will be in someone's point of view, and the other one will be in someone else's point of view. There will be two people, living seperate lives. This is Brown Eyes; the companion to Green Eyes, which I will most likely post later on tonight, if not tomorrow. I am planning to write a sequel, in which both people meet.
Please let me know what you think of Brown Eyes, and once I post Green Eyes, please check it out. :)
A freak. An abomination. A monster. A waste of space. A lame excuse for a human being. A disgrace to this world. I have been called all of these names and more during my fourteen years of life. It's obvious that in front of everyone's eyes, I am nothing but a person who does not deserve to live. Sometimes, I don't even think they see me as a human being. They all see me as a monster—one they are dying to destroy.
And sometimes, I think they're right. Sometimes I just want to die; disappear from the face of this planet and let the earth swallow me whole. It's what I deserve for what I did six years ago.
I'm a murderer. Everyone says I deserve to die because of the death I caused. Heck, even my own family wishes I was dead. My father only puts up with me, because I am the only thing he has that keeps the memory of my dear mother alive. I know he doesn't love me. To him, I am nothing but a memory left in the past, and I think that is all I will ever be.
My mom and my dad never expected to have a baby. All I did was ruin their lives. Because of me, my mother is now dead; buried six feet underground.
It is because of me that my father is who he is. A man who wishes to die is all I see when I look into his eyes. He wishes that he were with my mom. He doesn't want to live anymore, and honestly, neither do I.
I wish I was dead. How I wish that I could take my mother's place. At least she was happy when she was alive. Here, I find myself alive, but am I happy? The answer is no. Life is nothing but a joke to me. Nothing ever seems to go in the right direction. Nothing I ever do makes anything better. If anything, my actions only cause more harm to those I love.
I should be rotting in hell by now. I should be the one buried six feet underground. I should be the one no longer breathing. My mom certainly did not deserve what came her way. She was a wonderful woman, full of life and love. Unlike my father, she welcomed me into this world with open arms. She loved me as much as any mother should love their child.
There's a saying that says that love can overcome anything. I don't believe that to be true. If it were true, my mom would have never died. If it were true, she wouldn't have given her last breath already. She would still be here by my side, but because of me, she's not.
But now, she is just a memory—one that I cherish and hold close to my heart.
I don't know when I will be able to see my mother again—that is, if I ever dosee her again.
I deserve to suffer. I deserve to hurt. I deserve the venomous words that are often thrown in my face. I deserve every bad thing that comes my way.
I... I deserve to die.
Never will I find anyone who has experienced similar pain to the one I have to go through. No one will ever love me as a person. I will never be cared for. I don't deserve to be loved, therefore, I will never be loved.
My existence is a mistake—I am a mistake.
The burden I have to hold on my shoulders, is one I must carry for all the bad that I have caused to this world. As much as I wish I were dead, I cannot die. I have to live this horrible life, because I deserve it. Killing myself would be too easy; there would no longer be any more pain. I wouldn't have to suffer anymore.
But, I deserve to suffer. This pain, I must endure. I must keep holding on, no matter how much it breaks my heart.
I shall suffer, I shall hurt, I shall break... because that is what I deserve.
My story is one that has never been told. I have kept everything bottled up for the past six years of my life.
My life is a roller coaster, as you will soon learn.
Welcome to my life.
Thoughts? Who is this mysterious person? And how exactly did they cause their mother's death? Do you guys think they will ever find someone who understands them and takes them in? Or... will they suffer forever on their own?
~ BigTimeRush-BTR :)
