A/N: This is a two-shot, so the next part should be up tomorrow and the next part will contain smut. This is the set-up and introduces us to the tape. Enjoy! Reviews make me happy!
It was 9:30 on a Saturday night and Josie was stuck at home with her brother watching mindless cartoons. Both of them had gotten grounded last weekend for having a party while their dads were away, where there just happened to be alcohol. Long story short, they were not very happy to come home a little earlier than expected and find a plethora of teenagers spread across the apartment, all the rooms littered with red solo cups and their carpets stained with the remnants of drinks. At the ruined furniture, she thought her father was going to have a heart attack.
"Hey, Jos, I have an idea," Sammy said, way too happy, in Josie's opinion.
Not being able to resist her brother's excitement, though, she tried not to immediately put his suggestion down. "What?"
"Well, you know how Grandpa Burt mailed us all that stuff from his old house?"
Josie nodded her head, urging him to continue, though she was still not interested.
"Well, I was talking to Uncle Finn a few days ago and he said that there should be a home video of Dad doing, wait for it…a dance to 'Single Ladies'!"
"The Beyonce song?"
"Yah!"
"You're just remembering this now?"
"Yes, do you wanna look for it or not?"
"I don't know, that would require getting up—"
"Finn said he was wearing a unitard." That got Josie's attention. She turned her body so she was completely facing her older brother and said a quick, "I'm in," before making a mad dash to her fathers' room.
"Where would they put it?" Sammy asked more to himself than anyone else.
While Josie crouched down to look under the bed and found nothing, Sammy opened the bedside table drawer and shut it quickly, moving back as fast as possible and shielding his eyes.
"What?" Josie asked, seeing his reaction.
"Oh, I did not need to see that."
It donned on Josie what he must've seen—she had already had the traumatic experience once of finding their condoms and lube in their bathroom.
"Really, Sam. You thought the box was in the drawer in their nightstand?" Josie asked sarcastically.
"Okay, let's not have a 'Make fun of Sam being Traumatized' party. Check the closet."
"Which one?"
Sammy just looked at her like it was obviously a stupid question, and she realized it was. There was no way anything else could be fit into Kurt's closet, even though it was bigger.
She opened Blaine's closet and pushed his clothes aside, finding a medium cardboard box labeled "Kurt's stuff". "Aha!"
She crouched down and began to go through the contents of the box: a certificate of participation for a show choir competition—lame, a picture of Kurt and Blaine at their senior prom—cute, but not what they were looking for. Finally, after removing some of the contents off the top, they two teens found a bunch of homemade CD's all labeled with the occasion in black sharpie. They began to pull out ones that interested them, but then they finally found the one they wanted: "Kurt—Single Ladies".
Quickly putting the rest of the contents back into the box and running down the stairs, the two inserted the DVD into the old player that Blaine had insisted on keeping so that they could watch his Disney movies. The two made themselves comfortable, getting ready to get some laughs, and sat back on the couch pressing the play button. What they saw next was definitely not what they were expecting.
It took them a few moments to realize what was going on. The video began with a young looking Blaine, very close to the camera, seemingly adjusting some of the controls. In the background they could see Kurt walking behind him in the simplest outfit they had ever seen—a dark grey Henley and black yoga pants. From what the kids had heard from their grandparents, Kurt supposedly had never worn anything this casual. As Blaine stepped back, the two could see that the camera was focused on the bed, where Kurt was now laying down, looking over at what must've been Blaine, out of frame.
"Nothing's happening. When are they gonna start dancing?" Josie asked exasperatedly.
"Don't ask me, you're the one who found the video."
When they both turned back to the screen, Blaine was now on the bed and the two young boys seemed to be talking, but the camera couldn't pick it up.
Both Josie and Sammy were staring intently at the screen, waiting patiently for something to happen. Blaine's hand disappeared out of frame, where he seemed to be fishing something out of the bedside drawer, but they still couldn't see what it was. He rolled back over and began kissing Kurt softly, pushing him back onto the bed.
"Ew, why would Uncle Finn tell us to watch this? Has he not seen this video before?"
"No, he definitely has. He said it was Dad dancing with two of his friends from high school. He's supposed to be wearing a unitard, but maybe it's under his sweatpants."
Now, Blaine had moved to straddle Kurt and began to kiss him more fiercely, Kurt fighting against gravity to ravish his mouth in return.
"Okay," Sam started, starting to cover his eyes, "maybe this wasn't such a good idea. This doesn't seem like the right video."
"Oh, come on, Sammy. Papa's probably just trying to convince Dad that it's a good idea. And also, you've seen them kiss before."
"Not like that!"
Blaine's hand started to trail down Kurt's torso, and before either of the two watching knew what was happening, he was cupping the obvious bulge in Kurt's pants, eliciting a moan from the taller boy. At that, both of the kid's eyes practically bugged out of their heads, desperately searching for the remote to turn it off or pause it or kill the TV or anything that would make it stop.
"We've never seen them do that before," Sammy practically yelled, jumping up and grabbing the remote from the coffee table and trying in his haze to find the off button. Finally, the soft moans that had been emanating from the TV stopped.
"Josie, I'm scarred for life now!" Sammy sneered accusingly at his younger sister.
"How was I supposed to know that it was a sex tape? I didn't think they were that kinky. They seem so vanilla!" Josie said defensively.
"Ok, can we stop talking about our parents' sex life?"
It was then that they heard the distinct sound of a key turning in the lock to their front door, and they could only stare, dumfounded, at each other. Josie made a dash to the DVD player where she quickly ejected the video and put it in its case, hiding it behind her back, while Sammy just stood there, hearing his fathers' laugh as they entered the family's apartment.
"Guys, we're home!" Blaine yelled up the stairs, thinking that they would be in their respective rooms.
"We're right here." Sammy said quietly, trying to put on a nonchalant face, but failing miserably.
"Oh," Kurt was the first one to walk into the family room and see his two kids looking guilty as hell, one shifting awkwardly and looking at the ground, the other with something hiding behind her back and a creepy smile plastered on her face. "What's up?" With no answer, Kurt kept probing. "You guys look guilty," Kurt said looking between his children.
"Not, guilty, no, just traumatized," Sammy said, and Josie gave him her best bitch glare.
"Why are you traumatized?" Kurt asked, bemused.
"No reason." Josie answered quickly, that smile still hanging on her face, but it wasn't fooling Kurt for a second.
"Oh, really?" Kurt asked as he began walking towards his nervous daughter, "Then may I see what you're hiding behind your back please."
"Um, I'm gonna say no," Josie tried to joke, but Kurt wasn't having any of it.
"Josie, give it to me."
"Dad, I really don't want to."
"Josephine Elizabeth Anderson-Hummel, show me what is behind your back!" Kurt said, starting to raise his voice. Blaine, hearing from the other room, shouted back, "Ooh, he's pulling out the full name business, Jos. I wouldn't cross him," He laughed.
Josie rolled her eyes and removed her hand from behind her back, handing Kurt the DVD. At first, Kurt thought that it must be porn or something for his kids to look so mortified at having Kurt see it, but what he found out was much worse. He turned the case so he could see the label: "Kurt—Single Ladies" and thought Oh, it can't be that bad. Then, it hit him like a brick dropped off the empire state building: the sex tape. He and Blaine's sex tape that was now being watched by his children, aka, his worst nightmare.
"What were you doing in our room?" Was all Kurt could sputter out, trying to make himself sound angry, when all he could really muster was utter embarrassment.
"Your angry at us? You're the one who made a sex tape!" Josie practically screamed, just as Blaine was coming through the archway, making him drop both of the glasses he had been carrying in shock.
