The Famous Muggle Joke of Dubious Hilarity
A/N: Written in response to Scarlet Diamonds' "This Is Going To Be Hilarious!" competition. I was told to write a humorous fic using the following phrase in any situation: "Okay guys, I've got my chicken suit on and I'm going to cross the road. This is going to be hilarious!"
"So," said George, who sat with his twin across the table in The Three Broomsticks, looking incredulous and slightly amused, "the question is: 'Why did the chicken cross the road?'"
Harry and Hermione nodded in unison.
"And the answer," Fred continued, "is: 'To get to the other side'?"
Harry and Hermione glanced at each other. "That's right," Harry said. Hermione nodded in agreement.
"It's a joke?" Fred asked, somewhat baffled.
"And it's supposed to be funny?" Fred and George asked in unison.
Harry and Hermione shared helpless glances. "Well," Hermione began, "I'm not sure if it's exactly supposed to be funny."
"It's more that it's supposed to be funny because it's not funny," Harry added helpfully.
Fred and George turned as one to look at Ron. "Don't look at me," Ron said with a helpless shrug, "I don't know anything about muggles, least of all their jokes. Except of course," he said, looking somewhat sheepishly at Hermione and Harry, "what I've learned from these two anyway."
"Well," said Fred with an air of decisiveness, "we're just going to have to figure this one out, right?"
"Of course," George agreed in mock seriousness, "we, as self-proclaimed and undisputed masters of Wizarding humour, must broaden our scope and master Muggle humour as well."
"It's our responsibility," Fred agreed.
"Well, come on then," Fred and George said in unison.
"Come where?" Ron asked warily, narrowing his eyes at his brothers over the top of his mug of Butterbeer.
"Well, obviously," George began.
"We're going to need a chicken costume," Fred declared with a grin.
Ron glowered in resigned annoyance as he did his best to finish his drink in one gulp. Harry and Hermione looked at each other. Harry shrugged. "Might as well," he said.
"Well, you'd better come," Fred said.
"We'll need you both; you're our experts on Muggles," George said.
It didn't take the Weasley twins long to find a chicken costume, and they agreed Fred would be the one to wear it. "Okay guys," Fred said, grinning broadly through the hole in the chicken's neck, "I've got my chicken suit on and I'm going to cross the road. This is going to be hilarious!"
George and Ron laughed. "You already look pretty hilarious, mate," George said, laughing and slapping him on his feathered back. The sight of someone in a bright white, orange, and red chicken costume had already started to draw a small crowd of onlookers who spoke to each other in hushed tones, laughing here and there.
George stood next to his costumed twin and gestured towards him grandly. "Ladies and gents, I am most honoured to present to you this fine day the amazing Fred Weasley acting out the famous Muggle joke of dubious hilarity: 'Why Did the Chicken Cross the Road?'" Fred bowed as gracefully as the bulky costume would allow, then proceeded to step into the street, turning his head from side to side and flapping his feathery wings with each step. Onlookers were giggling and chuckling at his exaggerated movements, clearly enjoying the odd spectacle.
Reaching the opposite side of the road, Fred spun about and gave a flourishing bow, unobtrusively popping a canary cream into his mouth as he did so, transforming himself into a large yellow bird that flapped its wings and chirped loudly. The audience broke out in cheers and laughter, clapping wildly.
"I gotta hand it to your brother, mate," Dean Thomas said, moving to stand next to Ron. "That joke was never funny, not ever. But that—that was funny."
