How did I get here?
The whitewashed walls and cold metal window frames, the heavy smell of antiseptic and the constant hustle and bustle, the beeping of machines and the frustrated talk of nurses working on overtime: this isn't my sort of venue. I hate hospitals. I always have. It's just something about the feeling of being a faceless medical record, to be passed from doctor to doctor, phycologist to phycologist, that sets me on edge. Doctor Aurelius would say that that's part of my problem.
"You feel that you are superior because that is what you have always been told, yet what you find doesn't often match up, that is perhaps why you-"
He is the one that sent me here, that and a court order, the Capital Institute For Criminally Disturbed teenagers, they think it will turn me around, fix me, as though I'm a broken toy being sent to a repair shop. Even though there's nothing wrong with me, not really. I just have a temper, and sometimes a fly off the handle and it get me in trouble, like now.
The man walking me through the facility is clad in a white coat, identical to every other doctor to be seen, and he talks slowly, as though I am going to need a few seconds to think through each of his words. I can't bring myself to correct him or snap at him, just shrug noncommittally at his ramblings.
"So communal time will be spent in these rooms," he says as he leads me through a series of white halls, "there are many sessions available, such as painting, music, rope tying, cooking and, on special occasions, we will take you all down to a sports facility, under supervision, of course." The man smiles briefly and is gifted by another shrug, he isn't fazed by my lack of interest and my eyes flicker over his identity badge, his name is Betee, I store that in my head for later as he leads me on, passing white door after white door before he eventually pushes open a door at the end of the corridor.
"And this is where you'll be staying, your roommate is called Finnick, he's probably in the communal room at the moment, but he'll be back after dinner, I can introduce you two now if you want?" ignoring this comment, I finally find my voice,
"Which bed is mine?" my voice comes out a dry rasp, a far throw from the intimidating boom I was hoping for, and Betee looks at me sympathetically,
"The one by the window." he says, pointing and for the first time I notice little cuts and burns all over his hands, some old, some painfully fresh, "We'll call you at dinner time, it will be a good chance to meet everyone." he says, before he turns and leaves me to stew in my hospital scrubs, in a bland whitewashed room.
As warned, I am called for dinner at six o clock sharp by a woman with frizzy grey hair. Her fingers tap a repetitive pattern against my door and she quietly informs me dinner is ready, before leaving, the expectation that I will follow, unspoken. More white walls assault my vision, even their cafeteria is bland, but at least there is something new, people.
In school, I was never good with people, often the bully, occasionally the bullied, but never the friend. It wasn't that I aimed to be alone, it just often worked out that way. It had never bothered me before, and as my eyes sought out a spare seat, I wondered if I was just someone who didn't fit in anywhere, not even with the freaks that I am apparently so similar to.
"Hey hulk, over here." A voice broke me out of my ramblings, a girl was waving at me. Her hair was short and dark, cut to her jaw and pinned out of a sharp face, with dark eyes that glittered at me from an empty table. I glanced behind me, checking she was definitely talking to me before walking over and sliding into a seat across from her. She grinned, her teeth pointy and white and extended a hand.
"Clove." she said, I looked at her hand for a few seconds, before taking it and grumbling,
"Cato." if possible, her smile seemed to widen at this titbit of information and she began to eat her lunch, plastic cutlery loosely clasped in her hand as she appraised me with curious eyes.
"Cato the Hulk, I like it, tell me, how did you end up in this hellhole." her tone was casual, but her eyes were focused so intently on me it was unnerving, I ignored the probing question, it was none of her business. She scowled, "That never works..." she muttered. "Look, you'll tell me eventually anyway, so I'm not gonna probe, but everyone here knows everyone's horror story anyway, so it doesn't really matter." I continued to eat, but the food tasted like rubber in my mouth. The girl pointed a table away from us, at a twitchy girl with black hair. "That's Joanna." she said, "She got locked up in here years ago, some freaks kidnapped her, locked her away and did god knows what until she escaped, half mad and bitchy as hell." Clove smirked and my stomach churned as I continued to ignore her, "Those two?" she pointed at a beautiful girl with long black hair, tied in a braid down her shoulder, and an equally beautiful boy sitting beside her, with copper coloured hair and green eyes that were visible from two tables away, "Such a tragedy-" I cleared my throat,
"I don't want to know." My voice came out a mere whisper of it's normal volume and she frowned,
"Are you a jumper? Did you..." she did a crude imitation of being hung from a noose and snickered. Anger settled in my stomach and I pushed myself away from the table, my chair scraped against the floor as I moved away, counting backwards from ten in my head. Quietly, I sat down with group of kids, who barely acknowledged me and my head ached as everything that had happened hit me, I was locked away in the madhouse. I couldn't stay here, I wasn't like these people, with their terrifying backstories and nightmarish existence, I was normal, I was different to them. But as a caught sight of my reflection in the metal jug in the centre of the table, I couldn't help but note my identical scrubs to everyone else.
Ok, no murder please. I am not generally a supporter of Katniss and Finnick, nor do I really have much time for Cato and Clove, but I thought about the idea of them in a modern world mental institution and it wouldn't leave me alone... A new chapter will be posted soon!
