Kurama and the Highlight/Delete Option

Summary: This blasted ningen option on the computer screen was teasing him. Just like that damn fox. K/H

Disclaimer: I don't own YYH or the right to claim the idea of the highlight/delete option on web pages. And I wouldn't come up with something that…wait, it does serve a purpose? Crap.


Ningens, Hiei decided, are incurably stupid and thus, he suffers.

This newfound reason to hate humans was presented to Hiei in the form of Kurama introducing him to the Internet.

He didn't really understand why Kurama had brought it upon himself to teach Hiei how to use a computer and "surf the web", but he was pretty sure it was to keep in from searching through his room while he as at school and the fire/ice demon got bored.

The Internet and Hiei, from the very start, were doomed to be pitted against each other in a battle of wills and technological Chicken until the end of time (or when Kurama had to get a new computer). It was confusing, there were brightly-colored little boxes popping up at random intervals that disturbed him (he once accidentally clicked on a link to one very disturbing "chat room" while trying to hit the little X-button to get rid of it. Kurama found Hiei at the other end of the room with his sword drawn when he came home), and there were endless ways for him to be mislead through the mechanical maze while he tried to just find his damn article on swords! Yes, the Internet and Hiei was not a good match (downright disastrous, if you have to know).

But the one thing that pissed him off most was the little highlight/delete option.

He discovered this when he accidentally held down the mouse button and dragged it across the column of text he had been reading one day. He had seen Kurama do this on his homework assignments before, and he knew that if he hit the "backspace" button, the text would disappear. He wondered, why would anyone let that happen to the information on their webpage? People could just delete it to screw with their minds in a bout of pure evil.

So Hiei, being Hiei, decided to have a bout of pure evil.

He hit the backspace button with a smile (which translates as his eyes didn't look quite so intent on your demise for a moment). But when he was directed back to the page he'd been on previously, he was a smidge angry. So he hit the "forward" arrow in the top left hand corner to go back, and he saw the text was still there!

Not only had he been lied to, but the fact that the text was exactly the same as it was moments ago was proof that the damn computer was laughing at him. This made him angry (er), and, for some inexplicable reason, it made him think of Kurama.

That fox. There wasn't much else you could say about him. Well, you could say, "That damn fox," or "That devious fox" or "That treacherous fox," but it always seemed to come back to just "That fox". But aside from that, Kurama really pissed Hiei off. It was just like him to show him a tool that acted just like him. Vain youko.

The highlight/delete option, was, for all intents and purposes, just like Kurama. Both of them presented the option of doing something, then promptly denied your request to do so because it couldn't actually be done in the first place. And they always found a way to subtly mock you (sometimes not-so-subtly, depending on your powers of observation).

But even after all the lies and mocking, they still served a purpose, depending on the situation. The damned computer could efficiently edit typed papers, and Kurama could actually carry his own weight in a battle. It pissed him off even more!

Curse the computer for being somewhat useful at some times, and somewhat evil (that was his job!) at others. Curse it for toying with your mind and playing technological Chicken with you and exposing you to the sick sado-masochistic habits of some people and for just existing in general.

Curse Kurama for being somewhat useful at some times, and somewhat evil (again, his job) at others. Curse him for playing psychological Bull S—t with his mind and introducing him to stupid ningen past times and for not warning him of the pitfalls of the Internet. Curse him for being attractive, too.

Frick.

Yes, frick. Kurama had been forcing Hiei to broaden his vocabulary because he didn't want his mother to overhear some of the foul language he used (hypocrite; Hiei has heard the words he mutters when those yogurt cups explode in his face).

He was fairly sure that he would not be one of the many to fall under the wiles and (sadistic) charm of Kurama/Youko. But here he was, admitting to himself he thought said youko was attractive. This was more annoying than the time Kurama bought ice cream and didn't tell Hiei, but left the empty carton on the counter for him to find. Bastard.

And now he had yet another reason to be angry with the youko. It was entirely his fault that Hiei was attracted to him. He had been plotting this. Not to insinuate that Hiei can be outsmarted…in fact, he can't. And he is going to deny he ever thought this and devoutly ignore the kitsune for a good long while (or at least until the next time it rains; then he's going to force him to let him sleep inside on the window sill). Frickin' highlight/delete option.


When Kurama walks into his room two hours later after school is over, Hiei decks him in the jaw, glares, and then leaps out the open window. The sound of Kurama's laughter follows his back until he is out of hearing range.
Not as pleased with this one as I am with the yogurt cup fic, but there's only so much I can do while I'm trying to write, fend off the heat, ignore my noisy swamp cooler, and figure out what I'm going to make for lunch at the same time.