Author's Note: This story was inspired by a tumblr post that said something along the lines of "Imagine your OTP celebrating their anniversary, but one of them has to work so the other surprises them." Immediately I thought of Frasier and Lilith. And somehow this turned into about half of an episode of Cheers. I'm very pleased with how it turned out. I hope you enjoy! Please review and let me know what you think :)
Happy Anniversa-oops
Frasier walked into Cheers with a big grin on his face. Sam was the first to greet him. "Hey Frasier! How's it goin'?"
"Everything is going great, Sam. Today is Lilith's and my second anniversary."
"Congratulations, man, that's great!"
Norm raised his beer with a nod. "Good for you, Frasier." He took a big gulp and smiled wistfully. "I remember my second anniversary with Vera."
"Oh? What'd you do, Normie?" Cliff asked beside him.
"Went fishing."
"And Vera enjoyed that?"
"Oh I dunno. I never asked her what she did for our anniversary. But I had a great time up in Vermont."
Woody turned the attention back to Frasier. "So what are you doing to celebrate, Dr. Crane?"
"Well Woody, I've told Lilith that I'll be working late, so she has no idea that I've been home all day decorating our home to be the ultimate love nest. When she comes home, she'll be greeted by a meal prepared by the chefs at our favorite French bistro. A violinist will perform our favorite concertos. And a trail of rose petals will lead to the most sumptuous bubble bath ever devised on earth."
"That sounds pretty great, Fras, but don't you think that's a little overboard?" Sam asked dubiously.
"Oh pish. Nothing's too much for my wife, not on this, the anniversary of the happiest day of our lives."
Carla came over to retrieve drink orders and smiled. "You know, I think that's real nice. If any man had ever done anything like that for me, I'd probably still be married."
"If any man did anything like that for you, you'd have twice as many children," Rebecca quipped as she walked past.
Sam had to grab Carla's arm before she threw a beer glass at poor Rebecca's head.
The phone rang. And since Sam was busy, Woody answered. "Cheers...uh huh...uh huh...alright, I'll let him know, Dr. Sternin-Crane." Upon hanging up, Woody informed Frasier, "Dr. Crane, that was your wife. She said that since you're working late, she's going to stay at the lab and run extra tests. She figured you would be in here before you went home, so she wanted me to tell you that you can celebrate the anniversary at a more convenient time."
Frasier's excited face fell. "Did she really say that?"
"Yeah. Do you want me to call her back?"
"No no, Woody. That's fine. I just...well gosh I had so much arranged and now we won't be able to enjoy any of it."
Sam walked over and put an arm on his shoulder in comfort. "Well, you know, she didn't know you had all those plans. As far as Lilith knows, you were going to be working late on your anniversary."
"Yes, I suppose you're right," Frasier agreed sadly.
"Say, Frasier," Cliff began, walking over with his glass full of beer, "why don't you surprise Lilith at her lab? You can still do some of the stuff you planned and if she's working late, there probably won't be a whole lot of people around."
"Yeah," Sam agreed, "And I'll bet she's real disappointed that you didn't do anything nice for your anniversary. Go surprise her."
"Yeah. Go out there so you won't be in here bringing everyone's buzz down with your whining," Carla said loudly.
"You know, that's not a bad idea," Frasier replied, considering how this all would work. "Although I have no idea what I could do. I did want to do things rather extravagantly. It isn't the same to show up with flowers and say 'Hi honey, here I am.'"
Cliff stepped forward. "I hate to be obvious but delivery is always the way to go."
"Cliff, it's almost six. You know as well as I do that the post office is closed."
"And even if it were open, that's no guarantee that your surprise would arrive anytime tonight. If ever," Norm added.
"Excuse me? Now just what are you insinuating there, huh?" Cliff asked, getting rather agitated as he walked back over to where Norm was seated.
Sam stepped up to keep the peace. "Hey now, this is about helping Frasier. But delivery isn't a bad idea. Hey, how about we deliver gifts to Lilith at her lab, huh? We could each go in with something like flowers or candy or jewelry, and you show up last with your violinist guy and whisk her away to your little love nest."
"Sam, that's a brilliant idea. If I go now, I can pick up all the gifts I have waiting at home and send you each one by one. Who all is game to partake in this mission of romance?"
Norm, Cliff and Sam all volunteered to accompany Frasier. Woody and Carla needed to stay and tend to Cheers, and Rebecca claimed her managerial presence was required, though no one was quite sure why.
Within the hour, the four men were standing outside of Harvard's behavioral psychology research lab. Frasier passed out the gifts to each of his compatriots and gave instructions. "Alright Norm, you'll go first. You've got the flowers and gourmet artisan chocolates. Then Cliff with the first edition Lord Byron and the bottle of champagne. Sam, you're last with the champagne glasses and the necklace. I'll follow Sam up with the violinist when he arrives. Once I get there, you all can leave. And I thank you all in advance for your help."
"Hey Fras?"
"Yes, Norm?"
"Where do we go? I'd say we follow you but that kinda defeats the purpose."
"Ah yes. Quite so. Alright you go up the elevator to the fourth floor. Lilith will be with her research specimens in room 4027. It's down the hall on the left, second door on your right. Everyone got that?"
The men all nodded. Frasier smiled and sent Norm up the elevator first. He hoped Lilith would like his surprise. It wasn't exactly what he wanted, but hopefully she would think it special.
"So what kind of necklace did you get her?" Sam asked, making conversation while they waited.
"It's silver with rubies. Quite a lot of them. And big, too. Oh gosh you know she might think it too ostentatious."
"You've got good taste, doc," Cliff pointed out. "If you liked it, I'm sure she will too."
"I hope so. I saw it in the window at Cartier and thought it was just exquisite. Lilith looks so good in red. She was wearing a red blouse when I first fell in love with her."
"Well that's nice," Sam said with a smile. He remembered that red blouse. Hell, he'd almost fallen in love with her that day too. But then she spoke that really that just ruined the whole effect for him. "You're a lucky man, Frasier. She's a great woman."
Frasier beamed. "Now, I know none of you really like her, and that's alright. She's my wife and I love her."
"And that's all that matters," Sam agreed.
Frasier checked his watch. "Alright Cliff, why don't you go up now? Fourth floor, left, second door on the right. 4027."
Cliff saluted his friends and went up the elevator to join Norm.
Meanwhile, Lilith was having a hell of a time with her surprise. Norm had found Lilith exactly where Frasier said she'd be. She was writing furiously on a clipboard, glancing back and forth and the rats in their cages on the rows of shelves.
"Hey Lilith?"
"One moment," she replied sharply, not even bothering to look at who had entered her laboratory. She finished writing after about two minutes and finally turned her attention to her visitor. "How can I help...Norm?" she said in slight surprise. "What are you doing here?"
"Frasier sent me. Happy anniversary," he said, walking over with the big bouquet of roses and the box of chocolates.
For a moment, Lilith was speechless. Frasier had taken the time to arrange for his friend to deliver her gifts? She couldn't believe it. But then Norm stumbled over a lab stool, dropping the flowers onto the table. The momentum sent the bouquet sliding away, knocking over everything in its wake: test tubes, sample trays, notes, and various other equipment.
Suddenly Lilith had quite a lot to say. "Norm! Look what you've done! That's three weeks of work, ruined. And half of that isn't even mine! My colleagues will never believe me when I say that my husband's beer-swilling friend destroyed their research using my anniversary gift."
"Jeez, I'm sorry, Lilith. Here, let me try to fix some of this..."
Just then, Cliff walked in. "Delivery for one Mrs. Frasier Crane! Happy anniversary!" he announced loudly, holding the champagne and wrapped package triumphantly. He then noticed the havoc his friend had created and the look of fury on Lilith's face. "Whoa what happened here?"
"I tripped on the damn stool. Watch out, Cliffy."
"Thanks for the heads up." He walked delicately over to Lilith. "These are for you. You open that and I'll help clean up," he said gently.
Lilith took the box and bottle and walked to a table in the back. She kept watch over the barflies out of the corner of her eye as she put down the fabulous bottle of champagne. Frasier had chosen well. Not that she would have expected any less from a man with his wonderful taste. She turned her attention to the wrapped object. Gently peeling off the blue paper, she allowed herself to smile when she saw the extremely rare publication inside. A first edition Byron would have cost more that the rent on their apartment. He was spoiling her. And she had to admit that she liked it.
Downstairs in the lobby, Frasier was waiting anxiously for his turn to go upstairs. The violinist was tuning up beside him, and Sam had gone up about five minutes before. It was time. He should find Lilith in a very good mood. Hopefully. Oh god what if she didn't like all the fuss? What if she found the gifts too extravagant? What if she finally figured out that she was far too good for him?
"Are you ready, signore?" the violinist asked.
"Yes, I suppose it's time. Now remember, you'll go in first and begin playing, then I'll enter to sing the aria."
"Si, signore."
They took the ride up the elevator and paused outside the door. Frasier noticed that the champagne glasses he had sent up with Sam were sitting on the ground in the hallway. The violinist went into the lab and began playing.
Inside, everyone turned their attention to the music now being played in the doorway. It was the intro to Nessun Dorma. Lilith smiled. Her favorite aria. But just before the main melody came in, the violinist paused and looked at the door.
"SAM!" Frasier's voice echoed in the hall.
A second later, Sam walked in with a small box wrapped in red paper along with two champagne glasses. "Hey sorry about that, Lilith. Here's your gift. Happy anniversary." He handed her the box and Lilith couldn't help noticing the lipstick smudges on his face. Perfect.
"Thank you, Sam," she replied stiffly, accepting the box.
He put the glasses on the table and picked up the champagne bottle. "I think I'm supposed to crack this open for you guys."
Norm took it away. "Sammy, why don't you clean yourself up, huh? As amazing as it is that you were able to get some action in the five minutes you were in that hallway, I don't think Frasier wants you helping his wife celebrate their anniversary while you've got another girl's makeup all over you."
Lilith silently thanked Norm. She liked Sam, she really did. He was a good friend to her and especially to Frasier, but the man engaged in the most questionable behavior. It was easy to see why these useless men idolized him.
"Normie, haven't you done enough here? Come on, let me," Cliff said, taking the bottle from Norm. Lilith was thankful for that, too. The last thing she needed was for Norm to make another mess of her lab.
Famous last words. Cliff, being Cliff, opened the champagne bottle with a stream of foamy, two hundred dollar liquid spraying all over her. Lilith was too appalled to even make a sound. Simultaneously, the violinist restarted the aria. This time, Frasier entered triumphantly, breaking into Nessun Dorma in his lovely voice. Upon seeing the scene, however, he stopped.
Lilith was drenched in champagne. Norm and Cliff were trying to dry her face with soggy research reports. She looked like she was about to either murder them or burst into tears. Possibly both.
Frasier shouted, "GET OUT! ALL OF YOU! I ask you for your help, and instead to make a mess of everything?!"
Sam returned from the back room and scolded his friends, "Come on, guys! I'm gone for two seconds."
"You're no better!" Frasier fired back. "Making out in the supply closet with the receptionist! My god, man, she's not even twenty!"
Sam paused for a moment, ashamed of his own poor behavior. "Okay, let's just go guys. I'll drive your car back to the bar, Fras. Happy anniversary, guys."
The three men shuffled out with their heads down. Frasier called after them sarcastically, "And thanks for all your help."
The violinist, still standing by the door, raised his bow questioningly, "Signore…?"
"You can go, too. Sorry for the trouble. You can send me a bill." Feeling totally defeated, Frasier slumped down onto one of the lab stools. "I'm so sorry, Lilith. I just wanted to surprise you with all the wonderful things you deserve. I must confess, I wasn't actually working late. I took half the day off to decorate the house and make everything perfect for you. But then you called Cheers and I was worried you were disappointed in me, thinking I didn't place the proper amount of importance on our anniversary. I never want to take you for granted, sweetheart."
Lilith listened to his sad explanation while removing her now stained jacket and taking all the pins from her sticky, wet hair. By the time he was finished, she was blinking back tears. "You really did all of this for me?"
He stood up and walked over to her, taking her hands in his. "Darling, of course. You deserve this and so much more. Well, you deserve for this to have gone as planned. I'm so sorry."
"The effort is not unnoticed, Frasier. I'm touched. Your friends are idiots, but you are wonderful."
Frasier smiled. "If you aren't completely put off Dom Perignon, I believe there's enough left for a glass each. A toast, my love?"
"Yes, thank you."
He went over to the table where the half-empty bottle sat beside the rest of her presents. Thankfully the Byron had been undamaged. But the red-wrapped box was unopened. "Lilith, sweetness, you didn't open this present."
"I'm sorry, I got a bit distracted by being sprayed forcefully with one of my other presents."
Frasier handed her the box and then poured them both a glass of champagne.
She opened the Cartier box and gasped at the necklace inside. "Oh Frasier, this is too much!"
"Nothing is too much for my lovely wife. I saw this and knew you had to have it. You know how I love to see you in red."
A faint pink blush came to Lilith's cheeks. "Will you help me put it on?" she asked, still somewhat embarrassed of his kind words.
Frasier handed her the glasses and took the necklace. He pushed her ebony locks aside and fastened the bejeweled piece, pressing a kiss to the exposed nape of her neck. He then took one of the champagne glasses from her and said, "A toast, to the most wonderful woman in the world, the woman I am proud to call my wife. You love makes me a better man, and I'm thankful for you every day."
Lilith could barely hold back her tears. She touched her glass to Fraiser's and downed the champagne. She took Frasier's glass and placed it on the table by hers. With a happy smile and eyes shining with love, she leapt into her husband's arms. "Thank you for everything, Frasier. You spoil me. But I love you very much anyway."
He grinned. "Happy anniversary, Lilith."
"Happy anniversary, Frasier."
The Cranes then kissed deeply for quite a while before gathering the extravagant gifts and went back to their happy home.
