Memoirs: Open, Closed, and Hidden: Wind
A/N: Stream of consciousness companion piece to Memoirs: Public, Private and Secret: Shadow. This is Temari's point of view when she is 29.
Open:
They say everyone has three hearts; an open heart, a closed heart and a hidden one. The hidden one is all about just you, your thoughts, hopes and dreams that you keep to yourself and those you trust most intimately. Your closed one is just that, closed off from the world and shared with only a handful of close people. And then there is your open one, the one that everyone sees. And let me tell you that there is a huge difference between them all.
Take myself for example, one Sabaku no Temari. Everyone in Suna and Konoha knows who I am. I'm that loud, bitchy, strong, arrogant blonde that during my first Chunin beat Tenten so badly it was embarrassing. Then in my final round match I got paired up against Nara Shikamaru (more on Lazy later) and he surprised everyone, myself included, by toying with me the entire match and then giving up after he had won. I was never so embarrassed or angry in my entire life. If certain more pressing events weren't upcoming I would have confronted that little lazy bastard and gotten rematch. Do I think he was out of Chakra and had 200 moves planned ahead? At first I didn't think so but when I got to know him better I think he really did.
Still, we all know what happened during those Chunin exams and I'm not proud to be a part of that. However, shinobi are nothing but tools so I did as ordered. At the very least it solidified my open appearance as the strongest kunoichi of my generation.
And why shouldn't I be the strongest? Everyone in Suna knows I was the former Kazekage's daughter and the current Kazekage's sister. Having such powerful family connections makes people expect a certain degree of strength on your part. Though growing up without a mother didn't help matters any. That's why I'm so tough externally. Public expectations, terrifying and emotionally wrought upbringing, and harsh brutal environment equal one crazy fan wielding bitch. As you can see, not that soft. plush, and green upbringing that my Konoha contemporaries.
Plus I was 2-3 years older than most of the Leaf kunoichi that were being fielded so I was a lot stronger and had a lot more experience under my belt. Still losing to that lazy, unmotivated…
Anyway, I got held back from making Chunin because of my father, the Kazekage, and Gaara. You know the story about Gaara and him having the 1 tailed sand demon in him. Kankuro and I always had to be very careful around Gaara growing up but we also had were his keepers too. Keepers as in we were expected to keep Gaara under some measure of control. Not that we ever achieved much control over him. If anything Gaara got control of us for the most part. So despite my power and skill I was held back and put on a team with my younger brothers.
So you know about Gaara, how he died having his demon removed and was brought back to life and how he became Kazekage a little while after our father was killed. Most people don't know that much about Kankuro, the middle brother. He's a puppet user, wears purple make up (actually he wears more make up then I do) wears an all black cat suit (not as crazy as it sounds), womanizes a bit and can drink. And I'm den mother to them both even though I'm married now and living in a different country but I'm getting ahead of myself.
With our mother dead from giving birth to Gaara, I was the only female influence in any of our lives growing up. Not that I was very feminine. Growing up I didn't consider myself to be a girl until puberty hit and it hit hard. You've seen me. By the time I was 13 I was done growing in any direction. Not that I didn't take advantage of my natural assets. Why do you think I had on a short shorts and sported cleavage at that first Chunin Exam? Boys that age have hormones kicking in and not much brainpower to overcome the visual overload. Well, except Shika.
Maybe that is why I noticed him. Lazy wasn't ogling me like everyone else was. I remember the first time we saw each other. I was in the pit waiting for Tenten to enter and Shika was up in the gallery. I have to admit I didn't think much of Shika when I first saw him. He was dirty and beat up having had a rougher time in training ground 44 then my team had. Granted we had Gaara with us and Shika's team got into a scrap with the Sound village nin.
I later found out from Choji that Shika called that match between Tenten and myself. He had sized me up the first time he laid eyes on me because he wasn't fixating on my body but on my abilities instead. Of course you know that Shika was right in saying that I would totally kick Tenten's ass. Granted I was a bit mean and toyed with her a bit since she had no means of hurting me as she couldn't come close to hitting me at all. I mean come on, a weapon user versus a wind user? Shika will tell you himself that I will win every single time.
Like I said previously, I didn't think much of Lazy when I first saw him. He wore his hair up so that he looked like a pineapple. So my hair is in four pony tails, want to make something of it? You just don't have long hair in the desert since sand will just get in it. My hair is actually considered to be long. Matsuri's is really very long for the desert. More on her when we get to her. Back to Lazy. He had strange hair, slouched and I didn't think much of his bloodline jutsu even after I watched his match with Kin.
I just couldn't come to respect a bloodlimit when it involved waiting and having the tar beat out of you. Let's face it, Lazy did get a few scares from his fight with Kin while waiting for his shadow possession to work. I will admit it was rather clever of him to stretch out his shadow to be as thin as the shadow of Kin's strings but the way I saw him back then I fully expected Shikamaru's fight official 3rd stage fight to be his last one.
But as we know Gaara killed Shika's opponent the night before so Shika and I had to square off. Honestly I thought it wouldn't be that hard at first. I mean Naruto did push Shika down several stories and Lazy was on the ground not looking at me. One good whack would have knocked him out and the match would have been mine.
To Lazy's credit he is a good ninja. A very good one at that. Proof of that is how he drew me into his trap without me ever realizing it. Let's face it. He blindsided everyone in the arena that day. He didn't give into the taunts of the audience or myself and kept letting me think I was making safe moves to stay out of his range as the match wore on.
Like I said before I never had given much thought to his family's bloodlimit. All I knew was that if I stayed in the sun away from his shadow I would be fine. His shadow within shadow move with his jacket should have told me something but truthfully I thought he was out of cards to play. He didn't have another jacket; he was looking tired and had been buffeted by my wind on several occasions. So I set down my fan after his shadow had retreated and came up with an attack plan. A simple one really; make a clone and let the clone get caught in his shadow possession while I sneak up and take him out with my fan.
You know what happened though. I had fallen right into his trap and he used the hole Naruto had made in his fight against Neji. I often kid Lazy that if the hole hadn't been there I would have won the match. Lazy always replies with his spiel about having planned out 200 moves ahead. I thought that was just bull and that he was trying to rub in the fact that he had me caught and I at his mercy when he gave up the match.
I really did try not to let my loss to Shika disturb me. There were more pressing issues at hand after all but I'd really rather not talk about that. It's not something I or anyone from Suna is particularly proud of. It's all behind us anyway.
Anyway when the last Uchiha went rogue from the Leaf Village Shikamaru got a baptism by first for his new Chuunin rank. I will tell you that my first mission as a Chuunin wasn't nearly as tough or as demanding. In fact, it was just a routine border patrol. I can't imagine how Shika coped other than his own fortitude as a ninja and as a person. Having to leave behind comrades who were most likely going to die and among them his best friend from childhood must been agonizing. I've lost people under my command but no one that close to me so I really can't say how Shikamaru managed to cope.
When I heard that the Leaf was asking for help from us I volunteered to go after Shikamaru. I wanted to show him that I was just as strong as he was if not stronger. After all if I caught up to him and saved his ass then I would have over his defeat of me. As it turns out Uchiha got away and I caught up to Lazy fighting an older girl that had a cursed seal and a flute. I might have over done it when I killed her by flattening a couple acres of forest with my wind jutsu. Okay I'll admit I was showing off a bit. Girls show off to impress the boys just as often as the boys show off for the girls you know.
Out of the entire ordeal Lazy only ended up with a broken finger that he broke himself to get out of a gen jutsu. Choji and Neji were in critical condition and Kiba and Naruto were in pretty bad shape. Personally I think survivor's syndrome kicked in since Shika was barely hurt at all but his entire squad was essentially wiped out. His old man and myself were pretty hard on him telling him to get his act together but considering the odds he was pitted against I think Lazy did really well for his first mission as a Chuunin. Border patrol really just doesn't compare.
Before I left for Suna with my brothers, Shikamaru sought me out and thanked me for coming to his aide. He also told me that the next time my brothers and I were in town Kiba, Naruto and himself wanted to throw a thank you party for us. Even though it would be quite troublesome to arrange. The idiot had to add in that last part but I'm glad he did. It gave me the excuse to berate him and I think that is where our banter started. It was the only way we could really talk out in public.
After all ninja aren't supposed to get involved with each other. Our lives are just too unpredictable. And foreign nin are never ever supposed to see each other because you never know when you will have to try and kill them. As you know tentative alliances aren't all that strong… And well, yelling at each other sort of became our way of talking to each other while out in public.
