Kidnappers
By Sharan McQuack, Launchpad's wife.
Based on "Magical Ducktales". With official permission of MagicMelody16. Thank you.
Mr. McDuck was tearing down a old building on the outskirts of Duckburg. Launchpad was there to haul off old carvings: like many old buildings, this one had hand-carved ornaments on it. This ornaments are now rare and often valuable. Launchpad was about to leave with the carvings.
Then , crying was heard.
" Mr. McD, do you hear somebody crying?" Launchpad asked.
The crying got louder.
"Eh? Yes, I do! Where's it coming from?" Mr. McDuck said .
They looked around and saw nothing..
Launchpad looked at the building and realized the crying was coming from inside.
"The crying...somehow, it's coming from inside the condemned building!" Launchpad said .
Launchpad was obliviously worried and afraid for whoever was trapped in the doomed building.
"WHAT?" Scrooge shouted
The building had been sealed off days ago. All entrances, all windows and doors were boarded up, nice and tight. Notices that the building was to be demolished were posted all around it. How could anybody be inside it? WHY would anybody be inside it?
"Hold it! Stop the demolition!" Scrooge shouted to the workers.
They stopped, but the building was beginning to crumble down
Launchpad was scared, but he wasn't about to just stand there and let someone perish.
"I'm going in!" Launchpad shouted.
And Launchpad ran towards the crumbling building.
"Launchpad! It's too dangerous!" Mr. McDuck shouted.
Launchpad kicked his way thur a boarded up doorway and ran in anyway. Mr. McDuck just stared for one half-second.
"I'm blasted if I'll let that big lug out-brave Scrooge McDuck!" Mr. McDuck said. (1)
And ran into the falling building after Launchpad.
Every wall was cracking and falling and the windows were shattering.
"Ack! I will be blasted trying to out-brave that big lug!" screamed Mr. McDuck.
Mr. McDuck and Launchpad kept following the cries until they found the source: it was a little baby girl! Mr. McDuck picked up the sobbing infant.
"A baby? What's a baby doing here?" Launchpad pondered.
They both saw a small hole in the back wall somebody must of made, and used to hide the baby here and then used to leave.
Then the walls cracked even more ready to give way
"Uh ...maybe we should discuss this elsewhere..." Mr. McDuck suggested.
"Yeah... RUN!" Launchpad shouted
It was a close call but they managed to get out of the building just as it crumbled down. Mr. McDuck was furious at this development.
"What kind of monster would leave an infant in a building that was scheduled for demolition!" Mr. McDuck shouted in his fury.
As soon as he calmed down he looked at the baby who was oblivious to his outburst.
"Now what to do with you?" Mr. McDuck muttered.
About this time the cops showed up. They might of arrested Launchpad for entering a condemned building, but since SCROOGE MCDUCK had also trespassed...well, that was OK. They took the baby to headquarters to see if anybody had reported her missing.
"There is a ring of kidnappers operating somewhere in Duckburg. We've been trying to keep this quiet to prevent the children from being hurt. We believe the criminals are hiding in old abandoned buildings..." cop in charge said.
"You mean some crook was dumb enough to hide in a building due to be destroyed?" Launchpad sputtered.
"Worse than that. We think the parents either refused to pay the ransom or could not afford to do so. The crooks may have left the baby there ON PURPOSE to get rid of the evidence or to make sure the next victims pays up.
"Tell me..are my nephews targets of these ..."Mr. McDuck began, then stopped unable to find a word nasty enough to describe such people that was NOT a four letter word.
"Why else would kidnappers come to Duckburg? We believe the children they have kidnaped so far have been "practice". They did not wish to take on you without some experience. "Top cop said.
"They'll na get away with this! I'll find a way to stop them!" Mr. McDuck vowed.
"I want to help! Being a pilot, I HATE kidnappers!" Launchpad added.
"What does you being a pilot have to do with you hating kidnappers?" Mr. McDuck, not seeing the connection for a minute.
"Charles Lindbergh." Launchpad explained. "Or rather, Charles Lindbergh's SON. Even if I've heard that Charles Lindbergh was about the biggest anti-Semite on two feet..."
"They say the same thing about Walt Disney! So maybe they both had strudel in their noodle!" Mr. McDuck snorted.
"But that doesn't mean I think he deserved to have his son kidnaped! It's weird how an otherwise kind and decent person can be taught to hate and fear until he can no longer think rationally about a subject!" Launchpad continued.
The cop did so investigating, it did not take long before the parents showed up. They were rich folk who left their kid with a nanny while they went overseas. The kidnappers took their baby daughter from the nanny, and the nanny could not contact them to tell them about the kidnaping. The nanny did not have the money to pay the ransom.
The rich parents thanked Mr. McDuck and Launchpad again and again.
"It could of been me nephews..." Mr. McDuck mumbled.
Mr. McDuck could not help but think how often he left his nephew with Mrs. Beakly, of how she might not be able to contact him if something happened while he was gone.
"Mr. McDee...I know a lot of pilots who work in and around Duckburg. Chopper pilots who report on traffic, or give aerial tours of Duckburg..."Launchpad began.
"So?" Mr. McDuck snorted.
"I'll ask them to keep their eyes open for people sneaking in or out of abandoned buildings." Launchpad replied.
"That's...not a bad idea." Mr. McDuck admitted.
But said good idea didn't seem to do any good. Word of they rescued baby got out, as did the fact that she was left in a building about to be destroyed. The kidnappers changed their M.O. (2) , as they are somehow allowed to do if the cops get wise to how they operate.
Since they were a couple, a Bonny and Clyde type couple and they had kidnaped kids with them, they swiped some camping equipment and pretended to be campers. THEN, the weather turned bad. It rained and rained and would not stop.
Doesn't that ALWAYS happen when you go camping? It's especially annoying when you're only pretending to be camping. They started to argue. Like Bonnie and Clyde, "Bonnie" was in charge. "Clyde" walked off into the rain to cool off.
"Clyde" hadn't gone very far when he saw a small, empty cabin. It was deserted and obliviously had been for months. One look at the dust could tell you that. Clyde went back and got Bonnie. So, without thinking about what they were doing, they hid out in an abandoned building. Even when criminals try to change their MO, habit takes over.
A passing pilot, delivering cargo saw them leaving out buckets to collect rainwater. The water in the cabin had been shut off. The pilot thought this was suspicious and reported it. Launchpad was the only one who listened. The cops just figured that somebody was being eco-friendly and collecting rainwater for washing.
"You're SURE of the cabin's location?" Launchpad asked.
"Sure I"m sure! Why wouldn't I be?" other pilot asked.
"Because that's a Jr. Woodchuck cabin, closed until summer comes. Nobody is supposed to be using it now." Launchpad replied.
Launchpad TRIED to tell the cops that, but they corrected pointed out that a) the Jr. Woodchucks sometimes rent out one of their cabins to raise money and b) it is not unknown for Jr. Woodchucks leaders to use a cabin for private business.
Me and Launchpad have done that ourselves. Ahem. In short, everybody and his dog was trying to collect on the reward for info leading to the kidnappers and the cops just thought Launchpad was somebody trying to sell them a wild goose chase.
So Launchpad had a little chat with Mr. McDee to see if he had any ideas on what to do next.
"The trouble is, they may have a kidnapped kid with them. We don't want them hurting the poor kid or using him- or her- as a hostage!" Launchpad said, after explaining the situation.
"If they are hiding out, they MUST have a kidnapped kid with them. Why would they hide otherwise?" Mr. McDuck mused. "if they have a kid with them, they will need food for the child...perhaps diapers, formula..."
"And where are they going to get it in the middle of no place without answering inconvenient questions?" Launchpad asked. "How's about from a traveling salesman in a truck, selling assorted stuff in rural areas under served by markets? I can borrow a truck and get my hands on diapers, formula, food for young kids..."
"And see if whoever is in that cabin is interested in buying. That way if it IS some Jr. Woodchuck leader having a romantic weekend, we won't end up with egg on our faces." Mr. McDuck said. "But you're not going without ME to keep you from messing things up!"
"OK, but you should know the truck I can borrow reads "somebody and son". Launchpad said.
"So?" Mr. McDuck asked.
"People are going to think you're my Dad." Launchpad replied.
"Perish the thought! But I'm hardly responsible for what people think!" Mr. McDuck answered.
So Launchpad borrowed the truck with supplies of all kinds in it.
"Let ME handle the selling! I might as well make a profit off of this." Mr. McDuck said.
"As long as you pay me for the stuff, so I can pay my friend for his stuff you sell." Launchpad shrugged.
So Launchpad borrowed the truck and the supplies and the two of them went out to the cabin. Cries from the cabin clearly indicted two small babies were inside, arguing also indicated two adults. Mr. McDuck knocked, asked if they'd like to buy some baby supplies.
"You must be a mind reader! Me and the Mrs. were arguing about where we going to buy baby things out here in the boondocks!" Clyde replied. ()()Especially since people out here all know each other and are suspicious of strangers. And the stupid twins we kidnaped keep screaming for their Mommy and scream LOUDER when Bonnie tries to tell them she's their Mommy!()()
Mr. McDuck automatically tried to make a profit selling them diapers and formula and what have you. Force of habit.
"Employee! Unload the samples! Can't find good help!" Mr. McDuck said.
Mr. McDuck did NOT want anybody thinking Launchpad was his son.
Launchpad noticed that everybody had forgotten about him, dismissing him as mindless muscle yet again. So, as usual, he took advantage of that and took a few heavy crates out of the truck and oh so innocently carried them to the back of the cabin.
Mr. McDuck was keeping Mr. and Mrs. Kidnapper busy bargaining with him. They knew there was no back door to the tiny cabin, so they forgot about the babies.
Launchpad put the crate near the rear window and climb up them, opened the window and climbed in.
Mr. McDuck saw him, realized what he was up to, and distracted the kidnappers by bargaining even harder. It hurt his soul to offer things cheaper than the going price, but he did so to keep the baddies from seeing Launchpad. (3)
()()Let him not trip or make noise!()() Mr. McDuck prayed fervently.
Since Launchpad CAN be careful when he has to (he's only clumsy when he's not paying attention), he managed to sneak to the twin babies.
"Shh. I'm here to take you home to your mommy." Launchpad whispered.
'Not mommy." One baby said.
"True. But I'll take you to her." Launchpad said.
"Home?" Other baby asked.
"That's right. I'll take you home. But shhh. Bad people who took you will hear." Launchpad said, putting his finger over his "lips".
The babies immediately trusted Launchpad. I don't know how he does that, I guess they can tell he's telling the Truth.
Launchpad picked up the babies and carried them to the back window. The problem was getting them OUT of the window without the baddies noticing or hurting the babies.
Mr. McDuck pretended to be clumsy and he dropped the samples he was showing bonnie and Clyde, to distract them and to make noise to cover up any noise Launchpad might make. Launchpad had put the babies carefully thur the still opened window onto the crate outside when it happened. One of the babies SNEEZED.
Maybe it was the sudden change in temperature, maybe the kid had hay fever, how should I know? All I know, the baddies saw Launchpad, DIDN'T see the babies and somehow realized the babies were being re-kidnapped.
"Hey! That's OUR stolen pair of twins! We kidnapped them first, fair and square!" Clyde said.
"Ut-Oh!" Launchpad said.
And he climbed thur the still-opened window, grabbing the twins and running like fun to the truck.
"RUN, Mr. McDee! I got the kids!" Launchpad screamed as he ran.
Mr. McDuck could not resist punching Clyde. All Mt. McDuck could think of was them leaving that other baby in that condemned building. Bonnie tried to grab him, Mr. McDuck threw a bib in her face, then dropped the merchandise and RAN!
Launchpad had already started up the truck and drove to Mr. McDuck. Launchpad opened up the truck's door as he approached and screamed "Hop in!"
"Maybe I'd be better off taking my chances with the kidnappers!" Mr. McDuck joked.
"YOU want to drive?" Launchpad asked, knowing full well that a) Mr. McDuck doesn't know how to drive, and b) He ain't going to ADMIT that.
"Just keep going!" Mr. McDuck screamed.
For Bonnie and Clyde were running after them. They pasted an jeep, jumped in, Bonnie hot-wired it (He talks, she does the actual WORK. Sound familiar?) Soon the jeep was chasing them and the light jeep was faster than the heavy truck.
Ever think you'd be GRATEFUL for a speed trap? Neither did Launchpad and Mr. McDuck. But the sound of a cop's siren was music to their ears just then. Especially since there were three cop cars. Hey, it was the middle of no place. The cops get bored. They pulled over both the jeep and the truck to give both drivers speeding tickets.
"Officers! Arrest those men! I'm Scrooge McDuck and they kidnapped these babies!" Mr. McDuck stated.
"Then how come they're in YOUR truck?" the cop asked, reasonably.
The cop somehow doubted Scrooge McDuck would be here in the boondocks. In a truck, yet.
"We were rescuing the kids from those kidnappers!" Launchpad said.
The cop didn't believe him until Bonnie made the mistake of trying to get the babies back. Bonnie leaned over to take the twins, saying : "Mommy's here!'
The babies weren't THAT dumb. They cried out: "NOT Mommy!"
THAT convinced the cop that something weird was going on. The cop took Mr. McDuck and Launchpad, Bonnie and Clyde and the twins to the local police dept to clear up whatever was going on here.
Fortunately, the twins real parents, had reported their kidnapping to the police. An "orange" alert with photos of the babies was at the police dept. The cops called the real parents, who were home wearing a path in their house, pacing back and forth in worry.
The parents hastened to the police dept with proper ID. It took awhile to clear up the mess, but with the parents' ID, Mr. McDuck's ID cards, Launchpad's pilot license, the good guys managed to prove who they were.
A quick search of the mug shots (4) soon found Bonnie and Clyde. They hadn't tried kidnapping before but there were few other crimes they had missed.
The pair were arrested for some previous crimes and for suspicion of kidnapping. Mr. McDuck and Launchpad testified against them. So did some people who had caught a glimpse of the kidnappers.
The fingerprints of Bonnie and Clyde were found in some of the abandoned buildings the cops knew the kidnappers had hid in. Between that fact, and the testimony of our heroes, Bonnie and Clyde were convicted.
THE END.
(1)GUY THING! Since I'm female, I don't quite get Mr. McDee's need to out do Launchpad. Does it make you feel better to know women don't understand men, neither?
(2)Method of Operation.
(3)Idea stolen from the Twilight Zone episode "One for the Angels".
(4)Or the computerized version thereof. Do they still use mug shots or have the cops modernized?
