"I am so sorry that I dragged you into this, Sharon!"
She gave Andrea a tight smile as she shook her head. "It was important for you to go home for your mother's funeral. And I knew that you would need a friend to support you through it. Though I should have expected something like this to happen in Michigan in the middle of winter."
Letting out a deep sigh, Sharon stared out the window of their cabin as the snow continued to fall steadily. Andrea drifted up behind her, and she stiffened a little as she anticipated the warm feel of her hands coming to rest on her shoulders. Andrea frowned a little at the movement, and Sharon reached up to comfort her, covering Andrea's hand with her own. "It would figure that the one weekend I'm home, we get a blizzard. I even checked the ten day forecast before we left, to make certain something like this wouldn't happen. It just goes to show that Traverse City weather should never be trusted."
She nodded a little before turning away from the window and standing up, slipping past Andrea to head into the kitchen and make a fresh mug of tea. "At least you're here with a friend," she called out as she poured hot water from the kettle into her mug and then plucked a fresh teabag out of the basket.
"That is very true. I don't know what I'd do if I was stuck here alone. Besides Skype you constantly."
Sharon laughed a little as she shook her head, taking a seat on the kitchen table and watching Andrea above the rim of her mug. The younger woman seemed to flush a little under the scrutiny, and Sharon cocked her head to one side, wondering what was going through her brain. "The time difference would kill me. Because you get up early anyway, and…"
"I'd forget the time difference and call you at two. You know me all too well."
The smile that curved Andrea's lips was tinged with sadness, and Sharon sighed as she set aside the mug and opened her arms. Hesitantly, the woman stepped forward until she was close enough that Sharon could wrap her arms around her waist and hold her close. And for only the second time in their friendship, Sharon heard Andrea begin to cry. "I have you, Andrea, shh."
"I just, I don't know what I'm going to do now. She was my bedrock, she knew every one of my secrets, and now she's gone. We couldn't even have a graveside service, since the ground is too cold. I, I, I…"
Her words broke off as she nestled her face into the crook of Sharon's neck. Sharon tightened her arms around Andrea's waist, feeling as if she had to hold the woman together, to keep from shattering. She tried to ignore the slight tremors of desire that coursed through her veins as she felt Andrea's breath fan out over one of her more sensitive erogenous spots, since she knew that was far from appropriate in their situation. "Why don't we head back into the living room? I have the feeling that you would be more comfortable sitting on the sofa than getting a crick in your back hunched over me."
"Okay," she murmured, and Sharon clucked a little under her breath as she situated her arm around Andrea's waist and guided her into the other room. Soon, she was tugging her onto the couch, and a small sigh slipped from her lips as Andrea curled up against her side, her head coming to rest on Sharon's shoulder. "You know, when you're like this, I forget that you're such a badass at work. Andy's lucky to see this side of you all the time."
A low hum poured from her throat, and Andrea replied with a slightly lower hum, almost unconsciously. "Andy and I are taking a break."
"Oh?" There was almost a note of hope in that word, and Sharon tucked that away in the back of her mind as she nodded. "I'm sorry to hear that. You guys seemed really good together."
"I thought so, too. I just had a slight issue with his jealousy over Mike's position with Badge of Justice. Andy doesn't understand why I find it so bothersome, but I need to make certain that my team works together well. Maybe this time apart will show him just why we need unity."
"You have your doubts, though, don't you?"
The lawyer in Andrea had come out, and Sharon let out a soft chuckle before nodding. "Yes. God help me, but I do. I've been going it alone for so long, that I don't need him, but I want him, if that even makes sense. And so, while my heart has a dull ache in it, my more pragmatic side sees that I can't have someone that jealous in my life. Even if he thinks I'm the best thing he has going for him."
"Are you worried that he'll fall off the wagon?"
"No. There's still a possibility that we'll end up together, and he wouldn't do anything to jeopardize that."
"I see." They lapsed into silence as Sharon stared into the fireplace, listening to the wind howl outside. A shiver passed through her body, and Andrea nodded before cuddling in close. "It does get cold here, being so close to the lake. Even I freeze when I'm home, California has made me soft."
"I think I would have loved to have known you when you were younger. I can see you all bundled up, your nose bright red from the cold, yet still outside skiing or skating."
"I still do that when I come home. There's this little lake on our property that is perfect for skating on, and Mom and I were out there this Christmas. I wish now that I had stayed longer. If I had known."
"I know. I have the same regrets, Andrea. I wish that I had spent more time with Momma, but Emily was a baby, and I'd already used my maternity leave plus a few days, and I didn't get to say goodbye. That will always haunt me, I think."
Andrea's arm snaked around her waist, holding Sharon tightly as she nodded. "Yeah," she breathed out as she nuzzled her face against Sharon's shoulder. Once more, Sharon had to stifle her body's reaction to her friend, and to cover that up, she shifted in her seat, letting out a loud yawn. "I don't want to keep you up, Sharon. I don't need to be watched like a toddler."
"No, I know that. But I want to make certain that everything is okay," Sharon replied as she rubbed her hand up and down Andrea's arm. "We could always go to sleep on the couch."
A deep laugh poured out of Andrea as she sat up, shaking her head. "I'm six years younger than you, and sleeping on the sofa fucks my back up for days. I can only imagine what it would do to you. Go upstairs, I'll bank the fire and head to bed in a few minutes."
Sharon frowned as she nodded, slowly standing and stretching. From the corner of her eye, she watched Andrea pull her knees up to her chest, almost as if she figured that her friend wouldn't look back and check to see what she was doing. Humming sadly, she had to fight her natural inclination to rush back over to her side and comfort her. After all, she knew that Andrea liked to think of herself as self-sufficient, and she didn't want to intrude too much.
Turning, Sharon made her way upstairs and into her room, quickly changing into pajamas before crawling into bed and staring up at the ceiling. Somehow, she knew that sleep would be a long time coming, and she fell back on her childhood habits. "Hey, God, it's me. I know that I haven't talked with you for a long time, but then, you know my heart, and why I've been distant. But, Andrea is hurting tonight, and while I know that she doesn't share my beliefs, I know that praying for her won't hurt anything. Just, hold her heart gently tonight and in the days to come. Help me to be a good friend, and to be the ear that she needs, and help me to keep her as a friend. Again, you know my heart, keep my mind on things above. Amen."
Groaning a little, Sharon turned on her side and stared out the window, watching the giant flakes furiously fall towards the ground. A heavy shiver spread through her body at the sight, but she couldn't look away from the almost hypnotizing sight. Though it didn't help her fall asleep, she still couldn't keep from watching.
The door creaked, and she turned over to see Andrea standing there, wearing a long t-shirt that fell to mid-thigh on her. "Would you mind terribly if I bunked with you tonight? The wind is coming from the north, and it cuts me through to the bone."
"Of course," she murmured, gesturing with her hand to the spot next to her. Internally, Sharon groaned, wondering how she would be able to spend a night so near to Andrea and not think about her more base needs. This was neither the time nor the place for such things, and she sighed before turning back to the window.
Andrea's slight weight caused the bed to dip, and then the younger woman was squirming a little, trying to find a comfortable position. "I'm sorry, it always takes me so long to find my spot. I think it comes from sleeping alone for most of my life. I never had to get used to another body next to me, and take up entirely too much space."
"You weren't blessed with children who crawl in with you in the middle of the night and then sprawl out, taking up more than half the mattress." Andrea laughed as she turned towards her, a warm breath fanning out across Sharon's neck with the move. "Believe me, you learn to sleep through anything when you have kids."
She flipped back over and stared at Andrea, wondering if she had upset the woman with her talk of children. Andrea gave her a small, sad, smile as she shrugged a little. "I was never one for kids. I would never have had the patience to raise them the right way. I was better at holding them and giving them back at the end of the day."
"Ah, I think you would have been a wonderful mother, Andrea. You learn a lot once they're in your life." Sharon reached out and tucked a long strand of Andrea's hair behind her ear. "I learned so much on the fly myself."
A deep blush stained the younger woman's cheeks, and she looked away from Sharon as she gave a little shrug. "I guess we'll never know now."
"I suppose. Though stranger things have happened, Andrea. All you have to do is find the right man…" Sharon's voice trailed off, and she knew that Andrea would know she was fishing for information. Still, she hoped that she could weasel out a little more about her. For all that they were friends, there was still so much she didn't know about her.
"Woman, and things don't work like that when you're two women. Though one day that might be a possibility." Andrea grinned as she glanced back up at Sharon. "Still, I'd have to find the right woman. One seemed to fall into my life years ago, but I never stood a chance."
A tender yearning had filled her gaze, and Sharon wondered who this mystery woman was that hadn't given Andrea a chance. "Why would you think that? You're beautiful, smart, have a great career, funny, vivacious."
Andrea stopped her words by pressing two fingers against her lips. "Because she's straighter than an arrow, and I could never ruin the friendship that we developed by acting on feelings that weren't reciprocated. Which is why I never told her that I liked women, just let her assume I was straight. It's easier that way, most of the time."
Andrea blinked rapidly, but a few tears still slipped down her face. Sharon sighed a little as she let her arm slide down Andrea's body until it came to rest around her waist. "I don't like thinking that you felt you had to hide such an integral part of yourself, especially from me! You know I wouldn't have judged you for your sexuality."
"I know, Sharon. I know." Her eyes slid closed, shutting Sharon out. And in that moment, every piece of the puzzle of Andrea fell into place and she gasped a little. Andrea tried to pull away from her, as if she wanted to leave, but Sharon tightened her hold on the woman, refusing to let her go. "Please."
"No, Andrea, I can't let you go now. Not when you're so fragile, emotionally. And it's okay, sweetie." Sharon carded her fingers through Andrea's hair before leaning in and brushing her lips against her cheek. That caused her eyes to flutter open once more, and the longing that was there for a millisecond stole her breath away.
"Don't. Don't look at me like that, Sharon. I'm not strong enough, not here, not when my heart is so compromised. Just, close your eyes, I'll close mine, and I'll continue viewing you as my friend. Please?"
The plea came out so broken, that all Sharon could do was nod before letting her eyes slide closed. Andrea snuggled a little closer to her, and she was grateful for the warmth of her body to stave off the sudden chill in the air. It didn't take long for her to start nodding off, and just before she completely fell asleep, she felt Andrea's lips press against her forehead softly, causing her to surrender to sleep with a smile on her lips.
Sharon didn't know what caused her to wake up, but she found the tip of her nose to be freezing, her teeth chattering as her eyes snapped open. Andrea was still dead to the world, a soft snore escaping her lips. The air in the room has taken on a decidedly colder feel, and she frowned as she tried to decide if she wanted to get out of bed and check the heat or snuggle into Andrea once more and pulling the blankets up over their heads to keep the warmth in.
"Shar?"
She looked down to see Andrea blurrily looking at her, and she nodded. "I think the heat must have given out at some point."
"Do you want me to go downstairs and stoke the fire again? That might make it warmer." Andrea started to lift the covers, and Sharon shivered violently before shaking her head. "All right."
Sharon gave her a tiny smile before scooting closer to Andrea once more, throwing her arm around her waist. "Just pull the covers up a little closer around our necks, and we should be okay," she whispered before hooking her chin over Andrea's shoulder. The younger woman somehow got the thick blankets up to their chins, and Sharon grinned as she nodded off once more. "Night, Andrea."
"Good night, Sharon." A wave of contentment washed over her as she drifted off once more, feeling safe in Andrea's presence. In the morning, they would have to talk, long and hard, about things that had happened between them, but for the moment, all that mattered was she was with Andrea at a time she was needed, and that they could be honest with each other when it mattered most.
