So this story is about what actually happening in my life. Someone told me there was so much drama that someone might as well write about it. Some things didn't happen but I hope you enjoy it.
This message is for everyone suffering from anxiety and depression. There is always light at the end of the tunnel. Don't give up no matter what because you've been strong enough to still be here. For those who have suicidal thoughts and self-harm, please reach out to someone you feel comfortable to talk to. I know things look hard for you right now but there is always something good around the corner.
This story is rated M for sexual themes/jokes, swearing, self-harm and all of that angst, Xion is hella OOC you have been warned.
I will rise again; stronger
Name: Gaia
Age: 21
Height: 5ft 3in
Appearance: Olive with a warm skin tone, oval shaped face, and almond shaped sea green eyes, high cheekbones, full lips, thick long eyelashes, chestnut brown straight hair up to her hips with a middle parting fringe, curvaceous body. Piercings, 3 piercings on one ear; standard lobe, upper lobe and helix, 2 on other ear; standard lobe and helix.
Family: Eraqus (father 50), Lena (mother, deceased) and Terra (brother, 25)
Best friends: Xion, Riku, Vanitas, Sora, Kairi, Roxas, Axel, Namine, Aqua, Ventus.
Boyfriend : Ienzo
Ex-boyfriend: Riku
Chapter 1
It was a few minutes till midnight and one of just a few students were stuck in a quiet university library. Gaia had just finished typing up a report on her laptop. She was sitting on a desk with a pile of about 10 books on the table. It wasn't like the report was due the next day. She wasn't the type to leave her work till last minute. She just had a lot of work to do; she had started her two-year foundation programme just 3 months ago and there was so much work.
"Done…" She checked her watch and spoke in her sweet slightly high pitched voice. "Damn 3 minutes till 12." The young woman put her laptop in her backpack and returned 7 of the 10 books whilst borrowing the other 3.
Gaia walked into the bathroom just before leaving. The young woman stared at herself in the mirror, her hair was tied up in a messy ponytail and she had dark eye bags under her eyes. She wore a dark red baggy hoodie, black cropped leggings and white and black trainers. She only wore minimal makeup; some mascara and a dark shade of red lipstick. She checked her watch again and left the bathroom.
The brunette ran towards the access gates and scanned her card. The screen showed a green tick and she was able to pass through. When she got outside, she shivered; night time in Twilight Town would always be chilly. 'Why didn't I take a coat?' She thought as she walked through the streets. The train station was a good 15 minute walk away from the library and she was lucky that the train service to Destiny Islands was a 24 hour service. She plugged in her Beats in her phone and blasted some music to listen to as she entered the train station.
Gaia managed to catch a train which was just about to leave the station. Trains were pretty empty especially at this time and the fact that it was going to Destiny Islands. She took off her bag, her headphones and sat down whilst sighing; boy was she going to enjoy this 2 hour journey. She took out a book from her bag, not an educational book of course. The book was Milk and Honey by Rupi Kaur and was recommended to her by Kairi who also loved literature. She opened the book and read a poem which really spoke to her.
"Like flowers ache for spring, my heart craves my mother more than anything." –Rupi Kaur
Gaia's heart stung with pain as she sighed deeply. There was never a day she wouldn't forget or miss her mother. It had been 5 years since she passed away from Cancer and it haunted her. She remembered her dying on that hospital bed right in front of her, her holding her mother's cold limp hands and never wanting to let go, her being pulled away by her father, her screams and cries as she fell onto her knees mourning for her mother. It was a day she would never forget and to make it worse; it was on her 17th Birthday. This would constantly play in her head at her weakest moment. Her mother left the world with a peaceful smile on her face. Time and time again her friends and family would remind her that Raine was no longer in pain anymore, that she was free. But what she would give to have her mother with her again. For her voice to be the first thing she hears in the morning, for her sweet gentle kiss on the forehead to be the last thing she feels before falling asleep.
The young woman texted her boyfriend asking if he was up. But he didn't reply at all. She even tried calling him but it just kept ringing. She sighed at this; he was always so busy or unavailable that they could barely talk to each other. She didn't want to be that kind of girlfriend who was so needy and clingy and didn't want to push her problems on him. She tilted her head back and sighed whilst closing her eyes.
The young woman snapped out of thought when she heard her phone ringing. She checked it and who else but Riku was calling.
"Hey Riku." She answered.
"Another late night?" The young woman smirked.
"You know it, Reeks. What's up?" She noticed that her cheeks were wet from tears and her nose was runny; so she wiped her cheeks and sniffled.
"Gaia, what's wrong?" He sounded extremely concerned; his bright cheery tone turned serious.
"Ah, you know how chilly it gets at night in Twilight Town during night time." She lied with a small chuckle.
"Bitch, I know you're lying to me. Spill it." The woman sighed; he always knew when she was lying.
"You know that book Kairi told me to get?"
"Yeah, Milk and Honey, right?"
"A quote really got to me. Made me think about my mum." She stated whilst putting her feet up on the opposite seat.
"Was it…hmmm let me see if I memorised it…" He went silent for a moment. "Like flowers ache for spring, my heart craves my mother more than anything."
"You're definitely reading it from the book, aren't you?" She asked with a little devious smirk.
"Did not!" Gaia knew he was pouting.
"Yes you did, don't think you can fool me!" He chuckled at this.
"Okay, okay, you got me Gaia. I have the book." Riku admitted his crime. "But I know you must be hurting. You will always love and miss your mum." Her smile dropped as her gaze lowered.
"I was thinking about…when she died."
"Ah Gaia…hey is anyone picking you up from the station?"
"No? I was going to take an Uber home."
"I'll pick you up. We can go for ice cream and talk about it okay?" A small smile appeared on her face as her cheeks turned pink. "I'll be waiting outside the station for you."
"You know you don't have to do this, Riku."
"I know I don't have to but I want to. You're my best friend and I want to be there for you." The woman's blush turned from pink to red.
"I'll text you when I get there."
"Good girl, want me to stay on the phone?"
"Nah, I'm gonna continue reading. I have…" She checked her watch. "1 hour and 45 minutes."
"You're gonna finish the book in that time." He stated.
"I'll make sure to take my sweet time with it then."
"Good, okay I'll see you at the station."
"See ya Riku." She smiled and cut the phone.
Gaia smiled sweetly at this whilst looking down. Her heart was beating quickly and she felt butterflies in her stomach. Even though Riku was her ex-boyfriend, he was also her best friend. He was so kind and caring to her even after they broke up which was good for most of her friends as things weren't awkward between them. Though Gaia had to admit, she was still in love with him…why they broke up was stupid.
But now she was with Ienzo, she was happy, or so she thought she was. The young woman had been in love with him for 2 years. But she kept it a secret because she didn't want to ruin their friendship if he didn't return the feelings. And there was another thing…he was in love with someone else…
"Hey Xixi." She answered the phone.
"Gaia! Why didn't you reply to my text?!" Xion roared.
"I'm sorry, I haven't checked my phone for a good 3 hours. I had to finish my report." Gaia apologised.
"Are you okay? You didn't get mugged did you?" She asked worriedly.
"I'm fine, Xion. Nothing happened." The brunette heard a deep sigh of relief on the other end.
"You worry me so much, y'know that? You give me white hair." Gaia giggled at this.
"I'm sowwie. Gaia will buy you hair dye, grandma." She spoke in a higher cute tone voice and heard laughing on the other line.
"Hey shut it! I'm serious. I get so worried about you. You're on the train right?"
"Yeah I'm on the train, I'll be getting to the Islands at 2am." She sighed.
"I tried to call you but you were on another call. Gaiaaaaa~" Gaia instantly knew that tone. "Who is this man?"
"It's not what you think, Xion..." She hesitated for a second. "Riku called me."
"Riku?" She asked with disgust. "You still talk to him, Gaia? I don't understand."
"Xion, Riku is one of my best friends."
"He's also a jerk who's your ex-boyfriend. Remember he lied and cheated on you." Her gaze lowered sadly.
"Xion, please I don't wanna hear any of this." She sighed. "What matters now is that we're good friends. We've both made our peace."
"Gaia, you're my closest best friend. I see you as a sister and I just don't want you getting hurt. I know you still have feelings for him." No matter how much Gaia hid it, Xion knew. "I know that you guys were so in love," She said this in a mocking way which her best friend hated. "but you both are exes now, he's fucking asshole for what he did. He's scum of the Earth I'm telling you." She hated it when Xion insulted Terra but couldn't really say anything; she was too submissive. "I'm just saying be careful about Riku, I know what he's like. He'll probably make you fall in love with him again then break your heart like the jerk he is."
"Xion, I'll be fine, nothing is gonna happen." She reassured her friend.
"Anyway, got any plans when coming back? Roxas and I are going to chill at the beach." The brunette rolled her eyes; whenever she joined them she would just be a third wheel.
"Riku's picking me up from the train station. He's taking me out for ice cream."
"A date already, and you didn't tell me?" She knew that tone. "I thought we were besties."
"He called me on the train and knew I was crying. I was thinking about my mum and he offered to take me out for ice cream."
"Gaia…" Xion sighed sadly. "You should have texted me. I would have spoken to you."
"I know but when that happens I prefer just being on my own."
"I get worried when that happens. I know the things you do once it gets really bad." Gaia pulled down her left sleeves and saw all the dried up scars from her wrist down. Her fingers trailed them…she had been doing this for almost 5 years. "Just…please don't do anything you'll regret."
"I won't." She reassured her friend. "Hey, I'm gonna sleep for a bit. You have fun with Roxas. But not too much fun, okay?"
"Can't make any promises, Gaia." She sung and Gaia cringed.
"Ew, please I don't want the details. Bye." She cut the phone and quickly put an alarm on for 2am.
Gaia hated it when Xion would invite her alone to when her and her boyfriend would go out. It was so awkward and embarrassing and not to mention evil. The single woman had been going through a dry spell, the last time she was intimate was with Riku and that was more than a year ago. Just thinking about those times was torture for her. In the wise words of Xion "Girl you need to get laid big time."
She lied back on the chair and got comfortable whilst closing her eyes. The young woman started to think about Riku and sighed as drowsiness got the better of her.
Gaia had to admit she missed him, missed being in a relationship with him especially. The guy was perfect; he was sweet, kind, attractive and extremely supportive. Whilst Xion had a problem with his short temper, Gaia didn't mind it at all. Terra was more supportive than Xion too. It was him who helped her love herself more and become a better person. She was so grateful for it and so was her brother and father. They broke up because they both ended up hurting each other and it was stupid. She used to live in Radiant Garden before and he was in Destiny Islands which were 4 hours apart. His visits started to lessen. During the beginning of the relationship he would go to see her 4 times a week but then it turned to once a week then even less until it got to once a month. Xion thought this was suspicious and told her friend that he was probably seeing someone else. But Gaia knew he was just really busy balancing studies and his job so she let him be. Whenever she felt lonely, she started hanging out with Ienzo who didn't mind and understood her situation. Terra ended up finding out somehow and got super jealous and protective. The couple started to argue and decided to take a break from each other. That was when Xion found out that he was hanging out with a girl and told Gaia. They got into one final fight and ended up breaking up for good which left a huge rift between them. But Gaia's kind nature couldn't stay mad at him. Within a week she forgave him but never told anyone. She was worried about him because she had heard that he was drinking more since they both broke up, as well as falling into depression after losing her. But then she moved to Destiny Islands and got back into contact with him and now they're so close.
Gaia heard and felt the vibration from her phone on the table and her alarm woke her up. She jerked up and felt the train slowing down as it arrived at the station. Her alarm was switched off as she stretched and yawn. The young woman put on her backpack stood up and walked towards the doors. The doors opened and she hopped off the train.
Again, the train station was very empty and quiet because of the time. She scanned her ticket at the access point and walked into the rest of the train station. There were only a few members of staff and some passengers who finished work late. She exited the station and in the distance, she saw a white A5 Audi; definitely Riku's car.
She ran across the road and the door opened for her as she saw Riku sitting in the driver's seat. He was wearing his pyjamas which consisted of a blue plaid pair of pyjama trousers, a white tank top, and white slip on trainers, a grey cardigan and his beige coat. She didn't blame him for what he was wearing since it was night time but she felt sorry for him that he had to get out of bed to pick her up.
"Hello Doctor." He beamed at her as she got into the car and closed the door behind her.
"Did I disturb you from sleeping, Riku?" Gaia asked worriedly.
"Of course not." Riku reassured her. His best friend took off her backpack and placed it beside her feet then proceeded to put her seatbelt on. "Damn you look tired as fuck."
"I took a nap on the train." She yawned in response and he started his car then began driving. "Right after talking to your dear ex." He smirked at this.
"Let me guess, she was against you seeing me." The man assumed right.
"She wanted me to hang out with her and Roxas." He rolled his eyes.
"So you can watch them make out and have sex on the beach? No way. If you wanted to watch some action there's better quality sex available online for free that you can watch in your bed."
"Rikuuuu!" She yelled whilst nudging him and chuckling. "Too much info!"
"But it's true though. She just wants you there so you can look out for police." He glanced at her with a faint blush on his cheeks. "Besides, you'd rather be hanging out with me, right? Cuz you know I'm the best person to hang out with."
"You're so full of yourself. But in times like these, yes, you are the best person to hang out with." She admitted.
"I knew it." He chuckled. "Now, what ice cream do you feel like having?"
"My favourite." She smiled.
"Ben and Jerry's Peanut Butter Cup? I have them stocked up in my freezer. We can sneak onto the beach behind my back garden and eat ice cream there." Her eyebrows furrowed together.
"You're talking like we're teenagers past curfew." She chuckled.
"Well, if my parents found out that I'm sneaking a girl home, I wouldn't hear the end of it. Buttttt, since it is you they won't mind." Her eyebrow rose.
"What do you since it's me?"
"My parents love you. If anything when I said your name when trying to explain why I was going out this late, they told me to go." She smiled at this; Riku's parents were so lovely and kind. "So stay quiet when we get into the house. I don't want my parents wasting our quality time." She blushed whilst glancing away.
"I'll try my best to be quiet." She mumbled.
"Good or else I'm gonna have to gag you." Gaia went completely red.
"RIKU!" She punched his shoulder.
"I'm kidding!" Riku laughed. "Or am I?"
"Riku." She crossed her arms.
"I'm joking I swear." He sighed.
"You better be or else." He laughed nervously. If there was one girl he was afraid of apart from his mother it would be Gaia.
Within 25 minutes, Riku got to the street he lived on. He parked up in his house's driveway and they got out of the car. Thank goodness her house was only 5 houses away from his. Their neighbourhood was quiet and peaceful. They lived 10 minutes away from the coast where they had a view of the play islands in the distance.
Gaia followed her friend into his house and they were as quiet as humanely possible trying not to disturb anyone. They went into the kitchen where Riku used his flash from his phone to get out ice cream from the freezer along with 2 tablespoons from the drawer. From there they headed out into the garden, hopped over the fence and headed for the slope hill which led to the beach.
They both sat on the slope hill and Riku took his coat off. He noticed Gaia with her arms wrapped around her shivering just a little from the cold. Without a word, he placed his coat on her shoulders and she looked at him, puzzled.
"Why didn't you take your coat?" She smiled at this. "Hey, that's nothing to smile about."
"I didn't think it would be chilly." He rolled his eyes at this.
"You're gonna get a cold, especially now that I'm giving you ice cream." She giggled at this.
"You sound more and more like your mother." His eyebrows furrowed together as he pouted.
"Do not!" He gave her a tub of ice cream and spoon as she started eating.
"I think it's cute. You're more like your mother." His cheeked reddened at this. "To be honest I don't know who I'm like." She stared at the play islands in the distance. Her hair danced gracefully in the gentle breeze and Riku marvelled at the beauty who sat beside him. She was like a dream…well of course she was his dream and always will be.
"I think…you're like both your parents." She turned to him with her head tilted to the side. He glanced at the islands shyly when he saw this cute innocent yet confused expression. "You're loving, kind hearted and generous like your dad. But since your mum passed away you have that mother instinct about you." He explained.
"Mother instinct?" She asked not hearing that phase before.
"You get worried about your dad and brother. Like sometimes when we go out together as a group you wonder if they've eaten or if everything is okay at home. Also little things like making your brother food when he doesn't ask. That's stuff a mother would do."
"You really think so?" She asked a bit more cheerfully.
"I think you would make a great mother. Your mum is proud of you." Her bright eyes saddened and filled with tears. "You're an amazing person who deserves nothing but the best. You deserve everlasting happiness and unconditional love."
Riku turned to her and saw the tears falling down her cheeks with a bit of ice cream on the sides of her mouth. He didn't know whether to faint from how adorable she looked or hug her because of her sadness.
"Gaia…" He took out a tissue from his back pocket.
"That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me." She squeaked and he wiped her mouth.
He placed his hands on her face and with his thumbs he wiped her tears away. She thought she was going to faint at this moment. His hands were on her face and he stared into her soul so gently and lovingly. Her heart was beating so fast and she gulped whilst sweating nervously.
"You're the strongest woman I know. If I had gone through what you did I would've broken down. But you're still going no matter what." He wrapped his arms around her and held her. "Don't give up. You're destined for happiness."
She slowly wrapped her arms around his torso and held him tight. He smiled at this as he felt the butterflies flutter in his stomach.
"Thank you…" She whispered. Shortly after, they pulled away from each other and he looked down at her.
"I want to see you smile now." He spoke softly. "Smile; now." The tone sounded like an order which she found sexy.
Instead, the young woman looked down with bright red cheeks. He held her chin and made her looked back up into his eyes. He was closer towards her face now and she knew he could hear her heart pounding in her chest. Riku…Riku was just inches away from her lips, so close she could feel him breathing. The young woman could smell his scent which was a sweet irresistible musk. Everything about him was just so…irresistibly attractive. Gaia glanced at his rosy lips and was so tempted to press hers against them. She wanted it so bad…and several other things. She wanted him, his body and soul and craved for his love; both affectionate and intimate. She needed him to love her and to make love her to her, sweetly, gently then roughly. He unconsciously placed his hand on her knee and that touch drove her crazy inside.
She was distracted when she felt something hot and wet in the depths between her legs and she gasped whilst pulling away. The silver haired man was confused with his head tilted to the side.
"Sorry, uh…got too close" She stuttered nervously and he realised his hand was on her knee, then he quickly pulled it away.
"Sorry for invading your space…" He apologised and it was quiet between them for a minute, until the silence was broken. "So…you gonna hog all the ice cream to yourself?"
She smirked deviously whilst picking up the tub of ice cream and getting a spoonful of ice cream. The woman raised it towards him and as he opened his mouth she quickly put the spoon into herself with a small giggle. His eyebrows furrowed as the silver haired man pouted.
"So mean." He huffed and she smiled brightly at this. The man couldn't help but smile back. "There that's better?"
"What's better?" She asked.
"When you have that smile on your face." The woman felt warm inside.
"Thanks Riku, for all of this." Riku nodded.
"Can I get your cupcakes as a thank you?" He requested and she grinned with a nod. "Yes!" He pumped his hand up in the air with excitement. The young woman checked her watch and stood up.
"2:45am; it's late." She stated and he stood up too.
"I'll walk you home." He offered.
Gaia followed him through a small alleyway which separated each house from each other and they got to the main street. They walked 5 houses down and got to hers. All the lights were out which meant that her brother and dad were asleep.
"Gaia…" Riku's voice was like the wind as he held her hand. She turned to him and saw that gentle yet emotional gaze. "It's been 3 years since we broke up…but I've never stopped loving you."
This was something she knew, something he would tell her every once in a while. He always had problems opening up to her when they were together but now that they're closer now he felt the confidence and ease to open up to her.
"But Riku…" He sighed.
"I know you're with someone." But Gaia interrupted.
"What about Selphie?" He gulped at this.
"I like her…but I love you. Doesn't mean I'm going to cheat on her. I'll stay and learn to love her." He stated.
"I want you to be happy with her." She whispered as a tear fell down her cheek.
"Gaia, you know I hate seeing you cry." He wiped her tears. "Your happiness makes me happy too." He smiled and she nodded. "I love you, but your happiness is more important to me." He placed a soft kiss on her forehead and she sighed with delight. "You should get some rest. Goodnight, Gaia."
"Night, Riku." She smiled at him and blushed whilst walking away.
The young woman took out her keys and opened the door. She closed the door quietly behind her and as silently as she could she went upstairs into her room using the flashlight on her phone. She closed the door behind her, got changed into a white tank top and black shorts then got into bed,
"I'm still in love with him…" She murmured and sighed with tears falling down her cheek. "What am I gonna do?"
