Title: Crowded
Fandom: Supernatural
Summary: Season 14. Dean is back from his Micheal possession and feels crowded in the bunker.
(I've no idea how the beginning of Season 14 is gonna play out, but thought I'd take a shot at a fic that takes place not long after they save him from Michael.)
"Sammy, come on."
"I'm eating lunch, Dean."
"Yeah, I know. Come on. We need to go."
"Go where?"
Anywhere that is not here."
"What?"
"I need to get out of the bunker, man. Too many people here. Too many questions and...just too many damn people. Come on. We'll eat on the road. Grab your stuff."
Sam didn't have to ask what "stuff" meant, he knew it was his road gear, change of clothes and the like. What he didn't know was the why behind his brother's sudden need to leave the bunker.
"Dean, what's goin' on?"
"I told you. People. Everywhere. Too many damn people. I can't do this right now. Me and you, man. Come on. I need to get the hell away. Get out. Hunt something. Just me and my little brother. Let's go."
"Dean..."
"Sammy, please. Too much talking. Can't do it. Just need some peace and quiet and somethin' to do before I go crazy and start stranglin' Apocalypse World survivors."
"Okay, did you tell Mom. Or Cas? They're gonna ask."
"No, make something up. Or don't. I don't care. Let's just get outta here."
Dean's nervous energy was somewhat disconcerting, but Sam felt the anxiety rolling heavily off of his brother and was soon up and heading to the hall.
"Gimme five minutes and I'll meet you in the car."
"Okay."
Sam walked over to where Cas sat in the library, placed a hand on his shoulder and whispered close. "Hey, Dean needs out for a while. I think this is just all too much at the moment with...all this." Sam gestured to the people milling about. "We're gonna hit the road for a bit. Get some air, maybe find a hunt. If you can keep it low profile. We'll call from the road."
Cas nodded and said simply, "I understand." Because he did.
And Sam hurried toward the garage.
The Impala roared to life and Dean's foot slammed on the accelerator. They were off.
An hour into their drive to destination unknown, Sam broke the remarkably comfortable silence.
"Feel better?"
"Some. Yeah. This is good. Sam. Me and you and Baby. Like it's supposed to be."
Dean paused for a minute. Thinking what to say in a way that didn't make
him sound like a jerk.
"Sam, I love that we saved all those people. And their Bobby and Charlie. I do. And that we have Mom back and that we're working on a plan to kick Michael's ass, but those people...they can't stay there, in the bunker. I mean, yeah, it's got million rooms, but it seems a lot smaller now and I can't do the crowding thing. Especially, not after...Michael. That feeling of being trapped. Everything, it's got me claustrophobic or somethin'. And I just need some normal, man." He motioned with a hand between he and Sam. "Some me and you normal, you know?"
Sam did. And he understood the need. He also was one of the few that understood what Dean had gone through during the time he was possessed by the arch angel. After Lucifer, Sam had wanted normalcy more than anything else. Whatever passed for normal in their world. He wanted his brother. He wanted to hunt. He wanted to make bad things he'd done, right. He'd also wanted time. To heal. To come to terms. Dean needed all the same things. And he couldn't get that in a bunker full of people, most of whom they didn't know or have any attachment to. Even Bobby and Charlie. They were them, but not the same persons with which they'd shared memories and life and death. They were still strangers in many ways. Only Cas could really understand. Only Cas could appreciate their lives as they were. And even then, there were limits.
But Sam understood. Sam understood it all.
And that was enough for Dean. To have one person who got it and didn't need to ask the unnecessary things. Sure, Sam would ask the customary stuff; the 'checking in' questions. Dean fully expected and accepted that. In response, he could toss their familiar short-hand at his brother without all of the wordy and emotionally draining follow-up.
"It was loud." Sam finally said. "When Lucifer possessed me before Hell. I remember trying to fight my way out and being in this constant battle with him pushin' me back down and it was like this white noise that never stopped. There was never any quiet, you know? And when I was fully back, with my soul, I had you and I had my life, but I has this craving for silence; for quiet. I don't know, it's hard to explain."
"I feel that, Sam. All of it. And that same white noise. You'd think angels would be quiet and peaceful inside, but that bastard. Micheal. He was...". An emotional Dean stopped. Not wanting to go further with the thought and knowing that he didn't need to. Not with the one person who had essentially, been there, done that.
"Yeah, Sammy." He finished, voice raspy and fading. "Hard to explain."
Seeing the chink in his brother's armor cracking some, Sam changed the subject; pulling out his phone to see where they were and the general direction they were heading. "So, any idea where we're goin'?"
"Southwest?"
"You got a place in mind?"
"Yup. Grand Canyon."
"Uh...Dude, that's like a 17 hour drive. Thought you wanted to hunt."
"I do. But wouldn't kill us to have a little we time, Sammy. With all that's happened, it's been a while. And once we go back home, who knows what chaos comes. So, I'll get us to Arizona and you find us a hunt. A family vacation. Deal?"
Sam smiled at the phrase. Family vacation. Sightseeing and hunting. What a combination. But wasn't it not too long ago that he wondered if he'd ever see his brother again? That they might never get him back? That maybe Michael had taken him forever? And now, he was here. Back where he belonged. In the driver's seat of the Impala. Two feet away on the worn beach seat. And he wanted to go the Grand Canyon with his little brother. Who was Sam to say no to that?
"Deal."
Dean stole a glance from his place behind the wheel, offering that little same brother a warm smile. "It's good to be home, Sammy. Thanks for saving my ass. Again."
"Everyone was worried about Micheal, but gettin' you home...it was the only thing that mattered to me. Although I am getting a little tired of saving your ass." The teasing. Always part of their brother bond. How Sam had missed that during the time Dean was gone. He couldn't resist the jab.
Dean picked it up immediately and hit back. "Whatever. How many times have I saved your sorry ass, little brother? I think you owe me a few more."
"Yeah, well, let's not go testing that any time soon. We've got work to do after this we time that you're takin' us on."
"Later, Sammy. Work talk later. Let's just drive."
And they did.
A stop for food and a few hours of sleep in the far end of a mall parking lot, their next strides outside of the car were at the footsteps of the Grand Canyon.
Sitting cliff-side, gazing out at the magical walls of one of the worlds greatest wonders.
Uncrowded. Tranquil. Silent.
Today, they were neither hunters nor world savers.
Neither Hell survivors nor apocalyptic travelers.
Today they were just two brothers.
Together.
The end.
