Hey guys, This is all one big looooong speach Soul is giving to his Mother's tombstone, btw. His Mother was and still is the only person he will EVER speak to like this. Not even Maka.

This takes place in between chapters 31 and 32, while Maka is at home getting ready for the party and he's going to get the dress and suit~

Oh, and in case you make the "WTF?" face from confusion a few times, let me tell you, there's a bunch of crap in here that will be explained in "Destroying A Perfect Soul" ...Natalie, Natasha, Crona..and a few other things are all going to be mentioned in the Sequel...ALOT

Hope you enjoy Soul's POV of R.A.B.S...it's kinda just a summary of it, from his view~

Soul Eater (C) Atsushi Ohkubo

"Repairing a Broken Soul" Natalie, Natasha, and Tod (C) Me! :D


"Hey…I need to talk to you…about this girl…and how she made me…smile. Should I start at the beginning? You'd probably like that…

So…here I go…

I used to smile like any old regular child. Remember? Every day, I'd walk in the kitchen with a large perfectly even grin on my face ready to eat…or ready for whatever I was going to do. But after that day…when Medusa invaded our home and she caused all that bloodshed…My smile went away. I went through so much therapy and tried to smile like how I used to. But when I did…only one side of my mouth would lift and my grin would only turn out to be crooked. A crooked, twisted, and demonic smile, Wes once said to himself. He thought I wasn't listening…huh…cruel right? But that's what older brothers did…And he was defiantly my older brother.

I miss those days when I'd smile like a normal kid. Even if my teeth were sharp like a sharks'…I still had a regular and normal smile. No one ran away from me or stared at me with wide and fearful eyes back then. But now…I tried to smile at a baby who was in a stroller awhile back. I was just walking through the park…I just needed time to cool off and there was this small kid sitting in a stroller playing with her small toys. She was cute and she was even cuter when she looked at me and smiled…normally. So you know what I did? I smiled back…or at least I tried to.

She ended up bursting into tears. And that wasn't the last time I tried smiling at a baby either...

All hope was lost. I couldn't smile to anyone without making them feel uncomfortable or making children scream, cry and cower away. Even my friend Black*Star felt a little unusual when ever I'd smile around him. And his friend Tsubaki would always try to avoid my eyes when I did. I felt like a freak…like a monster. As if no one around me liked who I was. And to make things even worse, Wes disappeared and left me all alone in the mansion. What was wrong with me? Did everyone just think I was different? Even Wes! Even my own brother left me behind. So…thinking Black*Star would do the same thing…I stopped talking to him.

I was losing the mansion by the time junior year came around. I couldn't pay the bills…I couldn't take care of myself as well as Wes did. I ended up being told that I was going to get kicked out if I didn't make enough money to pay it off. Once again…I lost all hope. No one was talking to me. Black*Star was probably pissed that I stopped talking to him. And I was too scary for anyone to ever agree to live with me! No one would even look at me except for my "fan-club". And damn did they piss me off. They were just a bunch of girls who thought I was good looking…and they only thought that way because I had hated them so much that I wouldn't even twitch my mouth upward for them. I have never smiled at them…so they think I'm cute…or hot…or good looking…there's too many names for me to remember.

But then…'she' came. This girl I had never seen before…a new student in my class. She sat down next to this guy named Death the Kid, the son of the principal. The first thing I looked at was her eyes. Such large forest green eyes she had…they were full of life, happiness and curiosity…she made me want to smile back…and I almost did. But I stopped myself before it was too late. If I smiled at her…she would have turned away. She would have been afraid and she would have never looked at me again. She would have become like the rest of them. Never again would I have seen her eyes the same way.

She looked at me again…from over her shoulder as if she wanted to know who I was and what I had done to be late for class. Our eyes locked and I could tell she wanted to look away. But why? Did she want to know why everyone didn't really like me? I had debated on if I should have smiled to her. And eventually after many moments of just staring at her…I smiled. No…I gave her my crooked grin and I looked away before I could see her reaction.

Maka Albarn was her name...

Her name, when I heard it for the first time, sounded familiar. But I put it out of my head. And I tried to get her out of my head too. I hadn't really noticed her other than seeing that she sat next to me in second period…I didn't want to see how she looked at me. I didn't want to see how she reacted when I'd sit next to her…so all I did was lie my head down and go to sleep. I ignored her for the rest of the day. I tried not to look at her and I tried not to pay any attention to what she did. I was too afraid to be feared by another person.

Her tears though…snapped my attention back to her. I had found her on her second day of school facing and talking to Kid. She turned around while I gave his smart-ass attitude a small grin. But as soon as she did, I saw her face and my mind shut down for just that moment. She was in tears…for what reason was she crying? Had she any idea what I've been through? I had just been playing on the piano…painful memories ripping and tearing at my soul in the process…and she's standing there crying? For what stupid reason could she have been sad about? I was so furious! I wanted to scream! I wanted to shout! But all I did…all I did was show her a little concern…

And I asked her if she was ok...

And that was the first time I had ever spoken to her. She told me she was fine and before I knew it, we were back in class like nothing had ever happened. But that wasn't it…oh no. All I thought about from then on was her. I thought about only her. Did I tell you that I wrote a song for her? Or at least…I started one: that morning actually. The morning I saw her tears…I began writing it. Can you believe it? You know that I never wrote songs unless I was inspired. Well, Maka, the new girl…she inspired me. Even though I was afraid to see if she was scared of me…or if she would have become a part of my "fan club"…I wrote a song about her.

I didn't mean to be playing it so loud on that same day. She heard it. And I was afraid for my life that she was going to tell me she hated it. That she was going to give me directions on how to perfect it…or she was just going to ignore it. But…she told me she loved it. She told me that she thought it was beautiful! I had never been complimented like that…well…not in a long time really. I told her it wasn't my style and I told that I wasn't finished…but she still thought the same about it. She told me I was talented! And as soon as she did…deep down something inside me came together. I wasn't sure what the feeling was…Did that ever happen to you? In any situation?

Anyway…Maka asked me to live with her.

She told me she had found a filer I made and put up on the bulletin board. Someone…actually wanted to live with me. This told me that she wasn't afraid of me…even though I smiled that crooked and demented grin when I first saw her. It had to be some kind of miracle. Did you help with it? You're still watching over me…right? It must have been you…I wanted to thank you at that moment…I really did. But that would have been dumb….Oh, and she hit me with a book…if you had sent her to me…she wouldn't have hit me with…a book…maybe a fist…but a book? Really…you could have done so much better…

I've been living with her ever since…we've had our fare share of moments together. We've argued and bickered…and even fought to the point where she'd hit me with a book and leave the apartment to go stay the night with Black*Star and Tsubaki. But do you know what I thought would be the worst fight between us? The moment where she'd find out who I really was…Soul Evans…the pianist of the famous Evans family…a liar…a spoiled brat…a monster…a freak. I imagined the day she'd find out…there was yelling and more book throwing. She even kicked me out and told me never to speak to her again.

Though…the day she actually found out—the day I dreaded—she smiled at me and told me that she'd try her best to keep it a secret! I told her I deserved it, and she told me that I didn't…she told me that no matter how spoiled of a kid I was…I didn't deserve to have such a horrible past. You didn't ever look at me and say that I was a spoiled child…did you? I think back to those days and I watch myself. I was such a snot! How did you deal with me? How could Maka even say all those nice things even though she knew I didn't deserve any of it? How did 'she' deal with me?

She doesn't just deal with me…she worries about me.

Remember that scar I got…? Well, as soon as she saw it, her mouth went off like a motorboat. She kept asking all of these questions, over and over again. I couldn't even understand her until she mentioned something about a doctor. I stopped her…but she eventually got me to go see one, no matter how many times I told her no. Geez…and the doctor she took me to was Medusa. Out of all the doctors I could have been taken to…it was her. You remember her right? She was Crona's Mom: The medic student that lived down the street from the mansion. At first I didn't like her…and by the time your fortieth birthday came around I hated her even more. 'Cause that's when I found out she was the one who you killed you two…

But I guess I can get back to that later…

This was supposed to be about my smile and about Maka…So…to get back to it: Maka…almost brought it back…My smile I mean. After seeing Medusa, she brought me back to our gang for a picnic and somehow the winter ball came into the conversation and she asked me if I was going to ask anyone to it. I wanted to ask her right there like how Black*Star had asked Tsubaki…but…that wouldn't be cool to copy. So I told her no and went back to eating. Do you think that was a good idea? I was beginning to panic after she asked me why…and I kept on telling her nonsense. I told her I didn't know who to ask even though the person I wanted to ask was right in front of me! I mean…I was living with her…we slept under the same roof…

But I ended up asking her anyway…way later on though. Like a whole week later. And throughout that week, tons of stuff happened. I began passing out…just out of nowhere too! I'd feel woozy one second and then the next I'd wake up with a red forehead and a teary Maka who thought I had died! It went on like that for the next couple days and I kept waking up to see her and her distressed form. She really hated it when it happened…I could tell…and I really wished I knew how to make her stop frowning at me like she did.

Ugh…then this guy named Tod came along…And he made me angry, just by looking at him! He just waltzed right up to Maka just as I was gaining the confidence to ask her to the ball…and he fucking asked her before I was even able to get at least ten feet close to her! Excuse my language…I'm sorry. But he just made me angry…very angry! I ended up declaring him my mortal enemy and I hit him whenever I had the chance. In the hallway, I'd give him a dead arm as I walked by. I'd have an argument with him during lunch every other day. And then finally, one day he asked Maka again and I snapped. …I ended up punching him in the face…and it made Maka angry too.

I was beginning to really like Maka…so it really broke my heart to see how mad she was at me for hurting Tod…We got in a huge argument and I made another stupid and uncool remark that caused her to leave and get soaked from the rain outside. I tried to look for her, and I ended up crashing the damn bike I worked hard to get. No…don't go thinking it was a bicycle or anything…I mean, a motorcycle…geez…

After I crashed, I ended up finding her crying in the park. She kept apologizing about my arm and leg since they were bleeding…and I finally made her go home after a simple one sided argument. That night really shook me up. And not because of the crash…but because of what she had said to me before she left the apartment…She told me she hated me, and that really broke something deep down. I dreaded the day that she'd tell me that she hated me…I never wanted it to come…and just because of one stupid thing I did…she said it as if it was the easiest thing in the world to say. Even afterwards, when she began to clean my scabs…something deep down told me she still hated me. No matter how many times she smiled at me.

Another thing that happened that week…well…I was almost shot. The person who had killed you two—Medusa—had attacked me while I was alone, and shot a gun at me. It missed, thank god, but I didn't move until I could see my angel…oh yeah, that's right…I didn't say…Maka's my angel. She always seemed to be there to brighten things up when the darkness crept closer. So…when I was leaning up against the alley wall…I didn't budge till she appeared and swept the darkness away…She told me that everything was ok…and she told me to breath and calm myself when I began to explain. That's what told me that she didn't hate me at all…even when she said so.

And I ended up asking her out on a lunch date…I think.

I mean…I don't think she took it as a date, but in a way…I did. I ended up complementing her hair too. What the hell was I thinking? I mean…really? I said something about her hair, after all that had happened. We skipped school and I was almost shot, and I…complemented her hair. How uncool right? Eh…you'd probably do the same stupid thing. After all, I get most of my personality from you…and a lot my looks too. But that's not the point! The point I'm trying to get at, is that she actually blushed when I said it. So maybe…I was a good idea…? She said thank you…and from that day forward she began wearing her hair in pigtails a lot more often…so was it…?

Oh, and She told me that she couldn't bear to lose me…and something deep down within me came together again. I couldn't believe my ears. I didn't hear it…and yet I did. My angel cared for me more than I thought she did, and I think my heart…fluttered. Is that even how you describe it? Did that even sound cool, at all? But seriously, I just stared at her and for some reason, when she opened her mouth to apologize—which I'm not sure why—she just slammed it shut again and her eyes showed confusion for only split second. I could barely even let the waitress know that we were ready for the bill. I stuttered…and that was very uncool. But I don't think she noticed…

That night, we watched a really dumb movie called Moulin Rouge. Well…at first it was dumb, but I eventually got into the plot. And you know…it reminded me of that Italian Opera Natalie dragged us to go with her one day when I was like, six, I think. Or was I seven? Oh well…It was called "La Traviata", right? A love story about a man and a sick woman…and the woman ends up dying in the end. Yeah…it was a lot like the opera. Maybe it was based off it…Anyway, is it bad to say that my favorite part was the end when she died…? 'Cause when it happened I felt like I was more interested than I had ever been…and I looked at Maka. And I couldn't help but think…what if she just died out of nowhere like that? In my arms…on my shoulder…beside me in class…in my heart? The thought made me look away from her…I don't think I'd be able to live on if she had died on me so suddenly…

I was beginning to love her…

That's right, you heard me.

And you know…I wasn't the only one who knew it either. Freakin, Kid and Black*Star began to see it and they had dragged me to the corner of the dress store while we were out shopping for suits. They were interrogating me! They were telling me that if I really loved Maka that I should have just asked her to the ball and I kept telling them to shut up, because for one thing…it was a small store, and…Maka had good hearing. Just to prove my point, right as I was telling them to get off my case, Maka ended up joining in on the conversation unannounced; scaring the crap out of all three of us. She really knows how to sneak up on people. They ended up only getting the "ask her after basketball tomorrow!" idea lodged in my brain and I thought about it all night. I couldn't sleep…again.

This is where we finally catch up to the day I finally asked her. You see…I told you a lot happened throughout that week…and I left out a bunch of crap. …anyway, I ended up practically forcing Maka to be the captain of her basketball team even though she had no idea how to play it. I remember this because we had gone to a beach in California for a week a few months before then. We were alone for a day and I saw a basketball court. She refused to play and said she sucked at the game, but when I finally got her to throw the ball at least once, she actually had a good shot. She just needed to know the game…or else her shots would never actually count. Oh right, I never played basketball when you were around…Black*Star taught me how when I first met him. It was one of the things we did together, so I kinda 'needed' to know…or else the almighty "God" Black*Star would smite me…ugh…

I'm just speaking nonsense now, huh? Where was I? …Oh right…Maka's team lost, kind of on purpose too, so I could ask her to the ball. We did a punishment game thing, so she had to do anything I requested…at first I was going to have her dress up like a maid and do maid things, but the boys ended up reminding me about the ball the following day, so I ended up asking her to the ball…and strangely…she said yes. It wasn't even a yes or no question…it was a demand…I told her to go to the ball as my date…and she said…yes. Maka's strange…I never really understood her…her mind works differently than any regular girl I know. She and Natasha are 'way' different…like majorly… and yet…I feel the same way around Maka as if I was with Natasha too…They're different…but similar…weird huh?

By the way…Maka looks really nice in a dress. She may be flat as a board…but she has nice legs. Her eyes really seem to brighten up under the ballroom lights too. Her hair looked really good too. Ugh…you see…there I go complimenting her hair again. She wore half of it up in pigtails…I like it when she wears her hair like that…in pigtails, I mean. It really suits her childish behavior and baby face. She's cute... but in a dress when she's all pampered up—even without make-up—she's beautiful… It's almost a shame that I didn't dance with her…the ball reminded me of our dinner parties…there were lots of people, music, dancing and food. It was all…too much…and I ended up sitting outside to avoid her. But of course, she found me. And to my surprise…she understood and stayed outside with me for the rest of the night. Except when she went to go get some food for us…Heh…she really knows that I like salmon…she nearly teased me with it just by walking back over with a plateful…

I guess the only bad thing that happened that night was that I yelled at her. I yelled at her when she had asked me when I was going to tell the rest of our friends that I was Soul Evans. I basically told her that she was the only person in the world I could trust…and I almost told her that I had feelings for her…But I caught myself, because I knew it would be a bad moment. Things were awkward between us…and I don't think I've ever wanted to say this, but thank Shinigami that her dad came in to break the silence. That's when she left to go get us food…and her dad, strangely just had a talk with me. We talked about me…and then we talked about Maka. I told him I liked her, and he didn't do anything. But I could tell he wanted to strangle me just by looking at his twitching smile. Though, all he did was tell me not to hurt her…he told me that he was actually a little ok with me…as long as he didn't see me do anything to her…and as long as I didn't hurt her in any way, he was actually kind of ok with it… Which is weird, 'cause the guy wants to kill me whenever I stand three feet away from her.

He wasn't the only person who came to give Maka and me a visit that night. In fact, the next person interrupted a near kiss moment I had with Maka! Yes that's right, we almost kissed…I could tell she was leaning in so I began to lean in too…but Medusa came along so she could ask me about my damn medicine! Oh you mean that medicine that makes me woozy and pass out? Yeah I am! Ugh…The next day I finally found out why the medicine did that. After a full day of thinking about only Maka…oh and the day I actually tried to ask her if she liked me too—stupid Black*Star—we were—Excuse my language—fucking attacked by Medusa. And guess what day that was…your birthday! She definitely chose a perfect day to make my life miserable again…

She explained the medicine and how it was poisoned and she told me that she had been trying to kill me for a long time. All was going smoothly…nothing had happened, until she decided to shoot Maka. That's when I was really angry. I took the bullet for her in the shoulder and I tried to knock Medusa out while she was trying to reload her gun. Though she ended up only hurting me more…I got cut on the waist. And I'm talking like a major cut, not some small little scratch…I was bleeding pretty badly, and it really hurt to move. I tried to move though…especially since the devil had her hands wrapped around my angel's neck as soon as I looked back up. I couldn't do it…my body told me no.

That's when Black*Star showed up…

And then…so did the rest of the gang.

I could only watch as my friends yelled at that snake obsessed woman…Black*Star ended up shoving Medusa away so she could drop Maka. And as soon as she was on her feet again…she was holding me. I heard Black*Star say my name, but as soon as Maka had me in her arms everything just shut up for once. I hugged her back and she caressed the back of my head…she was protecting me from the darkness again, just like she was supposed to. Even when my hearing came back…I could hear Medusa spilling out so many secrets of mine…I knew my friends…were going to hate me. My friends...did I even deserve to call them that? I lied to them…I even lied to Maka. She forgave me…but would the others forgive me?

As soon as Medusa said my real name…I hugged Maka tighter and I tried not to scream. She probably sensed that and she yelled for me. Maka was telling her to shut up…and she even ended up telling her how wrong it was to take you away from me. I never realized that Maka paid attention when I wanted to vent. She actually listened to me…and she was yelling out my exact words…how I wanted to play a song for you…something that wouldn't hurt your fragile ears…Fragile as in graceful as in…my music was never worthy for you to listen to…and the night I finally had something that was worthy…you were dead.

Anyway…They forgave me. And they said so one at a time. Tsubaki said that I was still her friend, Liz said so as well. And even thought Kid said some things about me like some kind of symmetry police officer, he said I was a friend too; Patty agreeing right beside him. Black*Star was the one I was afraid for…I knew he wouldn't forgive me, and once he mentioned being mad at me, I was sure, he wouldn't. But…then, he said that, I was still his "brother" and we were still friends no matter what…heh…they all forgave me and they all risked themselves to protect me from Medusa. And in the end, I realized that it was Maka who brought these people to me. Even though Black*Star had been a friend before…she had brought him 'back' to me…Everything came down to my angel, I guess…Still does…

Maka was there, even after I got up to attack Medusa again. I had a reason though…she was mocking you. She was making fun of you…I couldn't help it. She threw me back against the wall and Maka was the one to attack next. Black*Star had found my scythe…and he had tossed it down to the alley so Maka could pick it up and point it in Medusa's direction. Of course I told her how to hold the dang thing…she wasn't suddenly a master scythe wielder…she still didn't even throw the thing around correctly when she was attacking. But I guess it got her somewhere…Medusa ended up getting stuck between her and a wall…and her dad came along with a scythe too. I found the gun just as she tossed the pocket knife at Maka. I paused for a moment, but after seeing the Maka was fine…I pulled the trigger, shot Medusa in the arm and called her a bitch. Sorry…but you know she deserved a lot more than just that anyway…

After all of that, everything was just a blur. I know Maka held me again…but I was just so out of it…I didn't come to until the next day. I was in the infirmary with Nygus, and every time the door opened I looked to see if it was Maka. But, it was usually just Nygus going in and out, or a student coming in to get a quick patch up. And that was only the first ten minutes the school was open before the bell. Two minutes before the bell, Maka came in finally…she had a paper bag full of things for me. She even had the cat in there…so I hung out with Blair for the day. Oh…and before she left, she gave me a "good luck charm" … It… It was a kiss on the forehead…'my' forehead…she…kissed it…

And that's where we get back to my smile…

Mother…I smiled. It was small…but it wasn't crooked. And it was all because of Maka…

.

.

.

Tonight, Kid is having a party in his mansion…Maka and I were invited and I have a feeling that she's going to wear the same dress she wore to the winter ball. So…Part of the reason I've come to visit…I want to give you a heads up. I want Maka to wear your dress. And, I told you the story so you could feel more comfortable with what I'm about to tell you. Tonight, I'm planning on telling her how I feel. And, I want you to know that she's going to be in your dress because I don't want you to haunt her or anything…She's a good person…She made me smile…so please…just think about that, ok? Wish me luck…Merry Christmas, I'll come visit you in a week…I love you."

Soul finally fell silent as he stared at the tombstone in front of him; his mother's name carved into it in cursive writing. His mouth twitched upwards in a small sideways smile and he finally got to his feet and checked the time on his cell phone. "Geez…" He then breathed; realizing he had been out of the apartment for almost an hour. He then let out a sigh and glanced over to the tombstone beside his mother's. The name Sosano was carved into the stone just like Roselin's …but to Soul it almost felt like he didn't know that person at all. Quickly, Soul looked away from it and looked up to the mansion to his right. The one he had left behind to live with Maka. The one that still carried many pieces of clothing and furniture. The musician looked at it for a little while longer before glancing at his father's grave stone again. He then narrowed his eyes, lifted his hand and set it on the stone before slowly making his way to his empty home. "See ya, old man…"