Written for VAMB Secret Summer 2013 for CJ Janeway who provided the opening.


"It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single first officer must be in want of a wife. However little known the feelings or views of such a man may be on his first being commissioned to a starship, this truth is so well fixed in the minds of the crew, that he is considered as the rightful property of the captain."

It was a warm summers morning in Southern England. The windows were wide open bringing with every gentle breeze, a cooling air. Lying with her head on Chakotay's bare chest and her hand resting lightly on his pectoral muscle, a simple white sheet draped over their naked bodies as they basked in the afterglow of their earlier lovemaking. Kathryn smirked as Chakotay read aloud a twisted passage of the Jane Austen classic, Pride and Prejudice.

"I seem to have remembered that passage a little differently," she questioned as she tilted her head up to look at Chakotay, whose arm was wrapped securely around her body, softly caressing her upper arm as they lay entwined with each other.

"It's true," Chakotay teased her, holding the book out in front of him with his free hand. "It says it all there."

Kathryn rolled her eyes, doubtful of such a passage but seemed intent to play along.

"Let me see," she insisted, shifting to reach out and grab the book he held, but Chakotay was quick to hold the book away from her reach.

"Oh no," he looked down at her, snapping the old-fashioned paper book shut.

"You'll just have to trust me."

This time Kathryn lifted her head from his chest and leant herself up on her elbow on the bed as she narrowed her eyes playfully at him.

"Trust you?"

Chakotay watched with pleasure as the sheet that covered her previously had slipped down to her waist, revealing her exposed breasts.

"Yes, trust. I believe you're capable of that," he answered convincingly, leaning into her ear as his voice changed to a faint whisper, "or else we wouldn't be here would we?" he smiled smugly whilst brushing two fingers lightly down her back.

"Chakotay!" she squirmed, laughing as he continued to make her writhe.

Chakotay's face lit up, smiling at her laughter, realizing just how much he adored her. At the same time it saddened him knowing how rare and seldom she shared her laughter.

When he finally stopped and Kathryn's writhing came to an end, she quickly took it as an opportune time to roll over Chakotay and grab the book he held away from her. She had just felt it within her grasp when Chakotay pulled the book further away leaving her fingers and limiting her chances of ever seizing it from him.

"Computer, delete book," he ordered and instantly the book vanished into thin air.

Kathryn pouted in disappointment.

"Well, you're no fun now are you?" she sighed.

Realizing she was practically on top of Chakotay, their nakedness leaving nothing to the imagination, Kathryn gently tried to roll over but realized Chakotay had stopped her, holding her in place firmly by his arm. Their eyes met and Kathryn felt a heat stirring inside of her. Chakotay's large hand came to her face, his fingers skimming down her temples until his palm cupped her cheek. She leant into his touch, feeling the warmth radiating from his hand.

They continued to gaze at each other for a moment, soft smiles gracing their faces. A gust of warm summer air blew through the open windows, rustling the soft white curtains that sent rays of golden light through the room, reflecting off Kathryn's hair. Chakotay watched in awe, mesmerized by her beauty as she glowed in the morning sunlight while the soft breeze rustled her hair lightly. Chakotay swept a lock of hair from her face, tucking it softly behind her ear, continuing to gaze at her adoringly.

"You're so beautiful," he whispered softly.

Kathryn blushed while the corner of her mouth lifted into the half smile that he loved. She leant in slowly, closing the gap between them until their lips touched softly but unlike earlier, when their lips met, there was no burning desire to rush the kiss. It was slow and passionate, as their tongues explored the inner realms of their mouths. They felt content in the moment, kissing each other as if they had all the time in the world. When the kiss came to an end Kathryn leant her head against Chakotay's chest once more, closing her eyes as she allowed her mind to wander.

She had never felt like this before. Her relationship with Chakotay was unlike anything she had ever had in the past. It fueled her with such satisfaction that she felt a strong sense of desire to keep that feeling.

But yet, this wasn't a normal relationship.

Saddened by the reality of the situation, she thought back to when it first began. Remembering the feelings and emotions that had accompanied her that day. She had been apprehensive about it at first, but Chakotay had assured her that it was worth it. Though she would never dispute that the time they had shared together was less than magical, as the weeks had gone by, she began to realize how inadequate the situation had become.

How it had gone from an attraction, and grown to the brink of love.

9 weeks ago,

After taking a stroll through the countryside of Southern England in Kathryn's 19th Century holoprogram, Kathryn and Chakotay came to a turning point when they had exhausted all topics of conversation as they walked next to each other in comfortable silence.

"Kathryn, can I ask you a question?" Chakotay asked.

She nodded while keeping her head forward.

"Do you ever wonder whether friendship is enough between us?"

It was that question that had changed the dynamics between them. Kathryn stopped suddenly as though she was rooted to the ground. She turned around facing him, using her hand to shield the sun from her eyes as she looked at him.

"Where is this coming from?"

Chakotay shrugged, his hands dug into the pockets of his pants. "I don't think I need to answer that question do I?"

Kathryn looked at him curiously then continued to walk while Chakotay followed.

"Sometimes I wonder what it would be like," she admitted. "But almost as soon as I do, I am reminded of our position out here, my obligation to the crew, to protocol. Everything that I've been taught says that it can't happen. So then I stop wondering, because if I start to think about it for too long…it begins to hurt."

She stopped walking again but she didn't turn to face him this time. Her voice grew softer as her chin dropped to her chest.

"It's not that I don't care about you, because believe me I do." She looked up at Chakotay as their eyes locked on each other. "But, I can't put my needs ahead of 150 people who are relying on me - relying on you. I'm the Captain and you're the First Officer. We command this ship together and we need to be professional, to set an example for the crew…I hope you understand," she finished sadly as though it had torn her inside.

Chakotay let her words sink in for a moment, before giving her a firm nod as he continued to walk on.

"Tell me," he began, trying to test the waters, "Why do you come to a holoprogram like this?" he gestured.

"It's peaceful. It helps me to relax off duty," She answered automatically without giving the question too much thought.

"And when it's over that's it?" he inquired, "You shut down the program and leave the holodeck?"

Kathryn raised an eyebrow, "Where are you going with this, Chakotay?" she questioned.

"A holoprogram," he gestured to their surroundings. "We all know how it works, and how the desired result appears. It's as if everything you see is real, but it isn't because once you step outside the holodeck, what once appeared, ceases to exist."

Already well aware of the science behind the holodeck, Kathryn narrowed her eyes.

"Your point?"

At this Chakotay stood still as their walking ceased.

"Let this holoprogram be your escape, let it be our escape. Kathryn, I want to be with you and if that means our relationship exists only within this program, within these parameters, then so be it."

Kathryn stood dumbfounded, unsure of how to react. "Are you serious?" her voice questioned with uncertainty.

"Yes."

She didn't understand how he had come to this conclusion. Had it been a spur of the moment idea? or had this plan been stirring inside him for some time?

She shook her head, unable to truly contemplate what had been asked of her.

"Chakotay, It's not that simple," she argued.

Chakotay smiled at her, while he stood his ground as if he had all the confidence in the world.

"It can be," he encouraged, stepping closer to her.

She stifled a laugh, realizing the absurdity of the situation. "I don't think Tuvok would find this arrangement a very logical compromise."

"This isn't about Tuvok, or Voyager or anyone else," his tone of voice indicated the seriousness behind his question."This is about us - Kathryn and Chakotay, not the Captain and Commander of the U.S.S Voyager."

"A place where ranks are left at the door," Kathryn finished for him.

"Exactly."

They looked at each other longingly. In command mode, Chakotay often noted Kathryn's ease in making decisions readily, so much that it was difficult to see her as she now stood before him, battling an inner struggle within herself. He saw the tiredness behind her eyes, the times when she wished she could just give up, and the fear for what the future may hold.

Chakotay took another step towards her.

"Nothing leaves this holodeck." He held his hand out to her. "Trust me."

Kathryn remembered what had followed that conversation. Her face lit up as she was reminded of their first kiss in that open country field and the little nearby villa they made love in. Following that day, they had returned to the program once a week. But each time it had become noticeably harder to leave. Kathryn reflected on the words Chakotay had earlier spoken.

It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single first officer must be in want of a wife.

She understood what he had meant. If she was being honest with herself, she had felt it coming. It was a feeling that had been simmering for a while, but had quickly begun to boil with every increasing flame until it rose to the top, dangerously close to spilling over the edge.

After a while of silence, Chakotay ran his hand along her side, "You seem quiet," he asked her curiously.

She nestled comfortably on his chest, letting her thoughts wash over her.

"Let's just say, I'd rather not think of this being in the minds of the crew right now."

After falling back into a period of silence, Kathryn spoke again, "Do you think they know?" an element of concern evidently etched into her voice.

"I suspect that some may think there is something going on," he began, noticing her tense against his body. He ran a hand through her hair, trying to ease her worries, "but whatever that may be, is entirely up to their imagination."

When she didn't answer he looked down at her.

"What is it?"

"Nothing," she answered, closing her eyes as she savored every moment she had with him, "Nothing at all."

TBC