The Lightning Strike

You know the sensation you get when something happens and you feel powerless to stop it? You feel so weak and helpless just watching it happen before your very eyes. Time slows down I and see happen in slow motion, the struggle, the splitting sound of fist hitting jaw and the click of a gun. All around me all I can hear is the ear splitting sound of the rolling thunder mingle with the powerful blast of gun fire as she hits the ground and I start running as if my life depended on it...her life does depend on it.

What if this storm ends?

And I don't see you

As you are now

Ever again

I don't even notice the rain as a take her into my arms. By now the culprit is long gone with a hell bent Gibbs on his tail but right now I don't care, all that matters her. Her blood mixes with the icy rain, bleaching my shirt crimson. She gasps in pain as I pull her tighter to me, in any other situation she would have fought me off but not this time. She doesn't have enough energy to fight any more. I can feel her letting me go but I tell her over and over, maybe more to myself than her, that I'm never letting her go, not ever. I took our relationship for granted; we both knew something was different about our relationship in comparison to anyone else we'd worked with before. No matter how much like a movie we've become it has all come down to this moment. She lies shivering in my arms but she still looks so beautiful I can hardly believe that I may never be able to tell her these things.

The perfect halo

Of gold hair and lightning

Sets you off against

The planets last dance

I can feel Gibbs place a reassuring hand on my shoulder but it provides no comfort. All I can think about is how this is my entire fault. Our argument from only a few hours before haunts my mind; I had said a lot of things that I didn't mean. I was jealous about Michael and I felt like I was going to explode if I kept my feelings to myself any longer. However at the back of my mind the fact that I was right about Michael, he was using her to get to her father and he was willing to sacrifice Ziva in death to get what he wanted. Our eyes connect and I watch her struggle to speak. I place my finger lightly over her lips to hush her and stop her from wasting the little energy she has left. At the contact of my finger her eyes flutter, my heart rises into my throat as I spiritually feel the life draining out of her. I can't lose her, not now and I curse myself at having a situation like this happening before I feel willing to admit my feelings. If it is at all possible I hold her closer to me sobbing at the realisation that she is not breathing any longer.

Just for a minute

The silver forked sky

Lit you up like a star

That I will follow

An arm pulls me away from her and I look up in panic to be faced with a paramedic. Gibbs pulls me away from her into his arms in a fatherly way, the sight of the love of my life that has broken me and all I can do is sob into the shoulder he offers me. In a way my real father never did, he spoke to me gently words of reassurances, telling me how strong she was and how she would get through this. I would have expected him to give me some lecture about Rule 12 but he instinctively knows how desperate the situation is and it is not about a stupid rule being broken...it is about the harshness of this life, taking away the only thing that has ever made me truly happy. I know that I should probably expect the danger we face everyday but the pair of us always seemed to managed through it and face it together. But when we were split up by Vance, everything changed...we changed. Ziva went to Israel and met Michael...I thought I lost my chance with her forever. It wasn't long before I started to notice the flaws of Michael Rivkin although Ziva was blind enough not to see them. I tried to explain and that was when the biggest fight of our lives pursued.

Now it's found us

Like I have found you

I don't want to run

Just overwhelm me

I pull away from Gibbs and rush to her side as she is lifted onto a stretcher. I go to take her hand but the paramedic takes it away, telling me to meet us at the hospital. Right now there is nothing on this earth that is going to part me from her and before the paramedic can argue with me I'm already sitting in the ambulance. I hold Ziva's hand all the way there while the paramedic works around me. Even above the roar of the engine, I can still hear the thunder split the sky; it reminds me of the sound of gun fire. We reach the hospital in a minimal amount of minutes and Gibbs is already there accompanied by Abby and McGee but I just cannot face them, I follow the gurney Ziva is on right up until the trauma room doors. I place my hand against the glass and watch as the miracle doctors fight to save a life that means more to me than my own.

What if this storm ends?

And leaves us nothing

Except a memory

A distant echo

Abby tries to comfort me but I shrug her off, I don't want to be in anyone else's arms except Ziva's. I know it sounds cliché but the thought of what could have been plagues my mind just as much as the replay of the moment bullet hit flesh. It seems like hours before anyone comes out to give us an update and only a little update at that. The nurse tells us Ziva is being taken up to surgery and as soon as I hear the words touch and go I go into complete melt down. I shut off into a world of my own where I block out the sound around me. In my moment of desperation and turn to my right and see a young girl standing next to me. She is bleeding from her head and she has cuts and bruises all over her. I turn away in shock and look around for Gibbs and the others, they are no longer there and when I turn back the young girl is still stood next to me.

I ask the girl if she is alright and she ignores me at first.

I want pinned down

I want unsettled

Rattle cage after cage

Until my blood boils

We stand side by side in silence for a few minutes before she suddenly turns to me.

"She's not ready to die" she tells me in a monotone voice, not a shred of emotion.

"How are you?" I ask. She turns her face to the trauma room that Ziva was once in, although Ziva and the doctors are no longer there the blood and mess still is.

"It doesn't matter who I am, she is all that matters, she will not die, not today" the girl said. The tone of her voice so mysterious it makes me go weak at the knees or maybe that is just my exhaustion.

"How do you know?" I say.

"That doesn't matter either. I'm ok, I'm ok Ziva...you don't have to worry, Ima takes care of me" she says not looking at me.

"Tell me who you are before I get security!" I order. She shakes her head.

"For your own sake, don't do that...no one will believe you" she tells me.

"What's that supposed to mean?" I ask. The girl shrugs.

"She blames herself, you know. But she shouldn't, it was my fault, I shouldn't have been there. I didn't follow my orders. She is happy here, she must stay, she will stay...she has a happy life to live" the girl says looking at him.

"Promise me you'll take good care of her, Tony" she says taking my bloody hand in her icy cold one. Before I can figure out who she was and how she knew my name she's gone and Abby is there instead. I can't comprehend to myself what just happened but I keep it to myself.

"Tony? You hear me? The doctor said she's going to be ok...she's out of surgery" Abby said smiling through tears. For the first time I let her pull me into a hug.

I want to see you

As you are now

Every single day

I am living

The doctor shows me to Ziva's private room and when I step in it is dark though I can still see the shadows cast by her body from the moonlight shining into the room. I dare myself to breathe in case she disappears before my very eyes like the girl a few hours before. The soft beeping of machines is the only sound in the room and I settle myself on the vacant chair beside her bed. I take her hand in mine, it's so cold and fragile I hardly trust myself to be in her presence in case I break her. Gibbs taps softly on the door just as I settle into the chair. He tells me he is going to get coffee and asks if I want any. I shake my head and I tell him I'm fine.

I've got all I need right here.

What if this storm ends?

And I don't see you

As you are now

Ever again.

TBC?

A/N what did you think? Reviews would be great. I penned this idea quickly before I forgot it so it may have been a little muddled in some places. You know what it's like when you want to get an idea down so quickly you don't notice any mistakes? My apologies for any mistakes that happen to be in there. Please, please, please review!

Amy xxx