It was hot. Or maybe it was just him. The air felt thick as though it was made from the heaviest cotton soaked in boiling water, making it damn near impossible to draw an adequate breath. Every sound entered his ear as if he were under water. The smell of the food made his stomach churn and cramp. He rubbed his arm in effort to quell the burning pain that was creeping down it from his chest. The longer he sat there the worse it got. It had had started out that afternoon shortly after they returned from that damn planet that made the mosquitoes in Minnesota seem nothing more than gnats. On the way back to the Stargate he'd tripped over a large tree root and cut his forearm on a damn rock. Ever since then he'd a burning sensation that started at the cut and slowly made its way to his chest where it set up a permanent camp. A sharp pain shot through his chest like a knife, causing his vision to narrow to a mere tunnel. Okay, maybe it was time to go see good ol' Doc Fraiser now. His legs felt like half set Jell-o as he stood from his seat at the commissary table.

"Jack? Are you okay?"

That sounded like Daniel talking to him, but he wasn't entirely sure. It sounded more like that little yellow bird from the Snoopy cartoons. Come on, Jack old boy. It ain't that hard. Just let go of the damn table and move your feet. One step. That was all the farther he got until his legs gave out and sent him careening to the floor, taking the tablecloth with him. Everything that was on the table crashed down at his feet, splattering him with food, liquid, and shattered crockery. The pain in his chest reached a crescendo as he felt hands on him, the distorted voices cackling in his ear. Dear God why can't he just die and make the pain stop? A blurry figure appeared in his rapidly fading line of sight, doc to the rescue. He could almost make out her words, almost. Okay, Jack, think. What does good ol' doc asked all the time when you're hurt? How the hell do ya plan on telling her anyway?

"Cchhesss-t hu-rrtss."

Damn that was pitiful. Floating. Nope, just getting put on a gurney. Normally a trip to the infirmary would be the last thing he'd want, but this time he welcomed it like shade on a hot day. He wanted the pain to stop before it burned his veins out of his body and totally crushed the breath out of his chest. Can't breath. Unconsciousness wrapped its beloved arms around him, but the pain was still there. Enough was enough. He couldn't take anymore. It was time to let go. With a quick goodbye to all those he cared for, Jack O'Neill took his final breath.

SG1SG1SG1

"Dr. Fraiser, we've lost his pulse," Nurse Johnson announced with her fingers still on the pulse point of Jack's neck.

Janet jumped into action and began do chest compressions on Jack before starting to issue orders, "Johnson, go ahead and bag him. Come on people; let's get him down to the infirmary stat!"

Janet straddled Jack on the gurney and continued chest compressions while the rest of her team steered the gurney out of the commissary with very anxious SG-1 in tow. Minutes later the gurney carrying Jack burst through the infirmary doors and Janet immediately set her team into action.

"I want him on a monitor. Johnson get me an intubation tray. Keelson, I want a full blood work panel on him and get a catheter in him to get a urine sample. Davidson, get an IV and a central line in him then get the fluids going. Let's get moving! I want to know what's going on," Janet barked the orders without missing a beat with the chest compressions.

As soon as the leads were attached, the heart monitor screamed to life. The shrill alarm echoed through the room and the display showed a far from normal pattern causing Janet's own heart to sink deep into her chest. Jack, healthy as a horse, O'Neill was having a massive heart attack.

SG1SG1SG1

Sam's foot tapped a rapid staccato on the floor that echoed down the long corridor. She looked at her watch for what she assumed was the millionth time since Jack was wheeled through the infirmary doors. 6:45; it had been an hour. What was going on in there? Was Jack okay? What happened to him? The questions formed in her mind then went on and on like a merry go round that had gone out of control. She looked around at her teammates; Daniel leaned against the wall across from her chewing his nails and Teal'c stood strong as though he were deep in mediation. General Hammond had been told of the medical emergency and had come to join the wait a half an hour ago. 6:55. Time was ticking by oh so slowly, almost at a crawl. She wished that she had told Jack how she felt about him before. Damn the Air Force! The only man that she had ever truly loved could be lying dead on the other side of the door and he would never know because she let some damn regulations stand in the way. 7:00. The wait was getting to be too much for her to bear. Why hadn't anyone come out to tell them anything yet? The sucking sound of the infirmary door opening snapped her out of her thoughts and sent her jumping to her feet. The relief that she felt faded quick like smoke in the wind when she saw the downtrodden expression on Janet's face.

"Janet?" Sam could barely choke the words out. The need to know fought with the fear of knowing.

"Colonel O'Neill suffered a massive heart attack. I did some tests and it appears that he's got a major blockage in one of the valves of his heart," Janet informed them while trying to desperately maintain a professional decorum. It just wasn't her patient in there; it was her friend as well. "We've got him as stabilized as much as we possibly can in his condition, but I don't know how much longer it's going to last. Sir, he needs open heart surgery as soon as possible if he's going to survive."

Hammond swallowed hard; a heart attack wasn't good especially in a healthy and active man like Jack O'Neill. "Just tell me who you need, Doctor, and I'll have them here within the hour."

"Dr. Waterson is one of the best cardiothoracic surgeons in the state. You should be able to reach him through Colorado Springs General Hospital," Janet told him hopefully. She knew that if Hammond could get the surgeon there and fast that Jack would stand a good chance at surviving.

Hammond nodded and hurried toward the elevators.

Sam looked at Janet with despair. She'd heard what Janet said, but she didn't want to believe it, "Janet how is he, really?"

Janet let out an exasperated sigh and looked sadly at her friend, "He's not good at all, Sam. I've had to heavily sedate him. He was in so much pain and his heart was being overworked as a result of that and the blockage. I have him on total life support."

The invisible arms that had been keeping a tight grip around her chest since the events in the commissary squeezed even tighter, threatening to squeeze the very life out of her. She could feel Daniel wrap his arm around her shoulders as she stared at Janet like a deer caught in the headlights.

It took quite a bit of effort for Sam to find her voice and talk over the large lump in her throat, "Can I sit with him until the surgeon comes?"

"Of course," Janet replied gently knowing that Jack might not have much longer.

"We'll wait here," Daniel told them and Teal'c gave a nod in assent.

Sam stood from the chair and followed Janet through the infirmary door leaving Daniel and Teal'c behind. She was thankful to them for allowing her some private time with Jack. The bond between them was so strong and she was almost certain that they knew that she needed to talk to Jack alone. It was only a short distance to the small critical care area that sat just outside of the operating theater, but it felt like they had walked to the other side of the Earth. A slight tremble took over Sam's body when they arrived at the unit and the haunting melody from the life sustaining machines floated into her ears. She hesitantly walked toward the curtained off bed, fearful of the sight that awaited her.

Janet out a comforting hand on Sam's shoulder, "Go ahead. I'll be in my office."

"Thanks, Janet."

Sam waited until she saw Janet disappear into her office before she stepped around the curtain. What she saw knocked the air right out of her lungs. Jack's pale body lay still and motionless on the bed. Tubes and wires weaved a ghastly web over his body. She sat down in the chair at his bedside and took his hand in hers, shocked at the cool and clammy feel of it.

"Jack?" Sam kept her voice low and it cracked slightly as she spoke, "Please hang on. Hammond is getting a doctor here that'll help you."

Sam gazed intently at Jack's face, concentrating hard as she tried to will some strength into him. Her thumb began to trace gentle circles on the back of his hand. Tears stung at her eyes, begging to be released. With one careful look around to be sure they was alone, she leaned closer to his ear.

"Jack, there's something that I need to tell you. I should've told you long ago, but I let the damn Air Force dictate my life and my love. Jack, I love you. I've loved you since I first laid eyes on you. I want to spend the rest of my life with you. Please, Jack, keep fighting and come back to me!"

With her soul bared, Sam rested her head on the safety rail of Jack's bed and let the tears fall down her cheeks. At this point she really didn't care who saw or heard. The love of her life was dying and that was all that mattered to her. She cursed herself for not letting Jack know that he was loved, that she loved him, in between prayers that he would live.

She sat there with him for the next thirty minutes, rubbing his hand and talking gently to him until Janet came in to tell her that the surgeon was there and they needed to get Jack ready for the OR. Sam just stood there, no matter how hard she tried to she just couldn't let go of Jack's hand.

Janet gave her a sympathetic look, "I'll tell you what. You can sit with him and hold his hand while we shave his chest and then you can walk with him to the OR."

"Thanks, Janet," Sam replied with a relieved voice.

The invisible arms around Sam chest returned and their grip was tighter than ever before as she watched Janet run the razor over Jack's chest and stomach all the way down to his groin area. Jack didn't even so much as twitch throughout the entire procedure. It was over in minutes and before Sam knew it, Janet and the nurses we're unlocking the wheels of Jack's bed. It was time. Without letting go of Jack's hand, Sam stepped back as they maneuvered the bed from its stall. She held onto Jack's hand as they walked down the hallway. When they got to the double stainless steel doors she leaned over and gave Jack a kiss on the forehead, not caring who saw it what they thought.

SG1SG1SG1

An hour later, the remaining members of SG-1 sat in the observation room with General Hammond watching their friend being operated on down below. It was hard for them to watch, seeing Jack lying there with his chest wide open and hooked to so many machines, but to them the grotesqueness of the sight took a backseat to the hopefulness of the vigil. They watched as Dr. Waterson worked on the artery going into Jack's heart where Janet had seen the blockage. The surgeon's hands moved slow and methodically. Sam chewed on her knuckles as she said a silent prayer. By now she had a never ending mantra going on in her head; let Jack be okay- let Jack be okay.

"Oh my God, what is that?" Janet's startled voice snapped Sam from her thoughts.

Sam looked over to see Daniel, Teal'c, and General Hammond leaning over in their seats staring intently below. Sam's breath caught in her throat.

Hammond leaned over and activated the microphone, "What's the problem, Doctor?"

"I'm not sure, Sir. It looks like a worm of some sort," Janet responded as she held an emesis basin up for Dr. Waterson to drop the creature into.

"Is it a Goa'uld?" Hammond asked.

"No, I don't think so. It has totally different anatomy and color. It looks like a worm of some sort. I'll have it sent to the lab for testing."

The rest of what was said was nothing more than static in Sam's ears; her mind too busy to process the words. Her eyes fluttered between the heart and lung machine, to the heart monitor, to the ventilator tube in Jack's mouth, and then on Jack as though she was making sure that everything was as it should be and that Jack was alive.

SG1SG1SG1

The early morning hours found Sam sitting vigil at Jack's bedside, his pale hand lying limply in hers. A chill ran down her spine every time she looked at the long, stapled incision down the center of his chest and the blue breathing tube that passed through his ashen lips. The countless machines that surrounded him played a comforting symphony. She'd been sitting with him ever since he'd come out of surgery a little over an hour ago and despite the frequent urgings from Janet to get some rest, she wasn't going anywhere until he woke up.

SG1SG1SG1

It was well after noon before there was any movement from Jack and much to Sam's delight, she was there. She'd had her head resting on the rail of his bed and was fast asleep when she felt his hand that she'd been holding twitch slightly. At first she thought that she was dreaming or maybe that it had actually been her hand that moved. She looked up in time to see Jack's deep brown eyes staring back at her from under half open lids.

"Jack! Sir, you're awake," Sam exclaimed excitedly, quickly correcting herself from using his first name. She could see a pleased glint in Jack's sleepy eyes. "I'm going to go and get Janet."

Sam hurried down the hall to Janet's office and told her that Jack was awake. Janet grabbed Jack's chart and within in a few minutes they were back at Jack's bedside. He was sleeping again so Janet laid a gentle hand on his arm.

"Colonel? Can you open your eyes for me again please?"

Jack's eyes slowly slid open and he looked blearily up at them. His gaze flickered from the top of Sam's head before drifting down as low as he could see as if he was giving her the once over to see if she was okay. Janet smiled, knowing that Jack was trying to make sure that his team was okay and trying to piece together why he was there.

"Your team's okay, Sir. Somehow a worm got into you and made its way to your heart where it got stuck causing you to have a heart attack. We had to get in a cardiothoracic surgeon to do surgery to remove the worm," Janet paused to give Jack a chance to process what he'd been told. To say that he looked shock was an understatement; it was a look of fear and disbelief. "The breathing tube is in to help you breath. I'll take it out tomorrow if everything stays on track."

Jack blinked and gave a slight nod of his head to show that he understood what he was told. For a second he seemed deep in thought, he shot a quick look down and then back up at Janet. She looked down when he twitched his left hand.

Realization hit Janet as she remembered, "Do you think it went in your hand when you cut it? The way things happened yesterday I completely forgot about it, but I think that you're right."

Jack nodded as his eyes began to slide slowly closed.

Janet smiled, "Get some rest, Sir."

Janet went about checking Jack over, careful not to wake him. Sam hovered anxiously behind her. When she was finished, she left Sam to sit with Jack while she went to talk to General Hammond.

SG1SG1SG1

"What have you got Doctor?" Hammond asked as he sat at the head of the table in the briefing room.

Janet looked around the table at the faces of Jack's teammates and friends sitting around the table, their forlorn expressions tugged at her heart. She glanced down at the report in front of her before she began to speak, "The lab reports came back and they identified the worm as a parasite native to the planet. Apparently it's similar to the blow fly larvae here on earth by it eating flesh of dead animals until it matures. When it made its way into the Colonel it was near maturity and it got stuck in the artery at its heart when it reached the stage where it was ready to cocoon."

Hammond continued to fiddle with the pen in his hand, "Will there be any long term effects?"

"As far as the heart attack, I don't know. The Colonel had a healthy heart and so far his readings have all been within normal range. We'll keep monitoring him and he'll have to take a regimen of medications along with cardiac rehab once he's up to it," Janet answered him with a sickening feeling in her stomach. Now she had to tell them the worst part and it wasn't going to be easy. "According to his latest blood work results, there is a small amount a foreign substance in his blood from the worm. The substance has done some damage to his nervous system causing a condition similar to Parkinson's disease. That's why he's been experiencing the weakness and tremors."

"How soon can be back on active duty?" Daniel asked hopefully.

Janet's heart sank. It was the question that she had been dreading and now it was there in the open. Exposed by the man she loved and that made it a million times harder to answer. She closed her eyes for a second and took a deep breath in a futile attempt to steady herself, "He won't be, Daniel."

The silence that over took the room was deafening and the despair was like an invisible iron hand hitting them. The thought of Jack O'Neill not being able to go off world was hard to swallow.

"Have you told him yet?" Sam asked in a voice that totally betrayed her emotions.

Janet swallowed the hard lump that had formed in her throat and was on the verge of choking the life right out of her. She recalled the dejected look on Jack's face when they'd had that talk earlier that morning. It was almost as though he knew, but hearing it made it real and confirmed his worse fear. In fact, it was the first thing that he'd asked three days ago when she removed the ventilator. When can I go back to work? How long am I trapped here for? He was barely able to breathe on his own and he was already bugging to be set free. Now as she looked into Sam's tear filled eyes, it made those same feelings return, "Yes, he knows. I talked to him this morning."

Janet watched sadly as Sam jumped up from the table and ran from the room.

SG1SG1SG1

Jack lay on his bed and stared at the wall. It was a hard blow to find out that he would have to retire from the Air Force again, only this time he wouldn't be coming back. At first he was angry. A damn worm had taken away the only life he'd ever really known, but it didn't take him long to find the silver lining in that black cloud. Sam. Being retired meant that there were no more regs keeping him from telling her that he loved her. Would she want a retired cynical Air Force colonel with a bum ticker and a terminal case of the shakes?

SG1SG1SG1

Sam sat in her office with the lights off, her arms folded on her work table with her head resting on them. Her sobs echoed in the dark empty room. She wondered why this had to happen to Jack. It made her angry that it happened, yet relieved that he was alive. She knew that she wouldn't be able to live life without him. Now she had the chance to be with him. No regulations stopping them. Now was the time. She stood up and dried her eyes. With a confident stride, she walked out of her office and to the infirmary.

SG1SG1SG1

Jack sat shakily on the edge of his bed while Janet and Teal'c positioned the large blue recliner closer to the bedside. He'd had enough of eating in bed, so he heckled Janet until she agreed to at least let him get into a chair. Personally, he didn't see the harm in it. After all it'd been a week since she took that damn catheter out and let him take a leak in the bathroom like a normal man. Even though he was still as weak as a kitten and couldn't walk without a little support, it felt good to get out of bed. Finally, the recliner was in position. Teal'c stood by his side ready to help him get into the chair while Janet readied his IV and heart monitor wires. He so couldn't wait to be rid of those, but he was stuck on the heart monitor for another two weeks or so. At least Janet said that the IV would be gone in two days.

"Okay, Sir, are you ready to get up now?"

"Give up the sir, Doc. We had this talk already, I'm retired," Jack responded as he accepted Teal'c's strong hand.

"Sorry, Jack. Now take it easy and go slow," Janet instructed him and got a hold of his other arm.

Jack shot her an irritated look then allowed his friend's to help him to his feet. Even through the slippers, the floor was cold on his feet. The cool air hit his bare backside, he made a mental note to talk to Janet about that later, making him very glad of two things; that no one was behind him and that Janet was courteous enough to put a nice warm blanket on the chair for him to sit on. He eased down into the overstuffed chair feeling like he'd aged a hundred years in a day. The dull ache in his chest flared up then eased away. It would be like that for a while longer, he understood and accepted it, but he wished that it would be sooner rather than later.

Teal'c slid the over the bed table over Jack's lap, "Here is your evening meal, O'Neill. I hope that you find it enjoyable."

"Thanks, T." Jack said as he lifted the lid from the dinner plate, wrinkling his nose at the smell from the entrée.

Teal'c replied with a stately nod and stepped back to stand guard over his convalescing friend.

Jack picked up his large handled fork and began to poke at the baked fish with plain whole wheat rice, "Hey, Doc. Any chance I can get some real food? Pizza and nice cold beer would be good."

"Nice try, Si- Jack. You have to eat healthy until you get better," Janet retorted.

"Hey, I'll have you know that pizza is healthy. It covers at least four of the major food groups."

Janet rolled her eyes and perched her hands on her hips, glaring at Jack with the best angry look that she could muster without bursting out laughing, "If it wasn't covered in dripping grease, then you'd be right. You are still a very ill man and until you're better you are going to eat healthy. Do we have an understanding?"

"Yes, ma'am!" Jack grumbled.

"Good! Now I'm going to my office to do some paperwork. Make sure that you eat every bite of food on that plate," Janet ordered sternly and quickly turned her back to him when she couldn't hold back the grin any longer.

"Napoleonic power monger," Jack mumbled as he stabbed a bite of fish with his fork.

"I heard that," Janet yelled back at him with a giggle before she disappeared into her office.

"Is it wise to get Dr. Frasier's so angry, O'Neill?"

"Probably not, T. But it's good for the heart."