April 17, 1900

Hello Jack,

I've wanted to talk to you about this in person, but this is a very difficult conversation and I don't see you that much. You spend a lot of time selling papers and I'm always in the factory. Despite our busy schedules we just don't have time to communicate. I do what I can, Jack. I surprise you at the lodging house, I write letters for David to give you, and even if I can't put it into words as beautifully as you can, I don't hesitate to tell you how much I love you. I feel as if I'm putting more effort into this relationship than you and it's really taking a toll on me. Every few months we have this conversation, and then you change for a little bit, but things go back to the way they were before. And I can't change you- you can't make people change. So I have to learn to accept that that is simply the way you work. But I can't. I tried, but I can't.

David told me that you treat everyone this way, the ignoring thing. You're only close to the newsies and my brothers because you work with them everyday. But I'm your girlfriend, so I shouldn't be waiting around for a week to hear from you. I miss you all the time but you're just a few blocks away. And at first I thought I was needy and clingy but I realized that I'm not. I only feel this way because I love you and you don't feel the same way. And that's okay. It hurts, but it's okay. We can be friends. If you don't feel the same way about me then we can't be in a relationship.

We want different things. And when you love each other it's okay because you compromise and work it out. But if you don't love me (you say you do, and I think you think you do, but you really don't) then we can't do that. You stayed in New York for me and your newsie friends, but I know you still want to get out of the city. I know you, Jack. You're not going to be satisfied here- you're always dreaming and exploring and growing. It's one of the reasons I love you. But that's not who I am. I'll go off to Santa Fe for you. I'll go anywhere for you. But I'll be a fish out of water. So we can compromise. I want to compromise. But I don't want to get hurt and I really don't want to hurt you. I care about you too much.

If it hasn't already been clear enough, I'm breaking up with you. It's not because I love you- far from it. I'm so madly and deeply in love with you it hurts and it brings me to tears. But we can't communicate, and it drains me, and I find myself sad about this all the time. It's not healthy. As painful as this may be, I know it will be better in the long run. For the both of us. You can find someone you want to spend all your time with. (Or someone who doesn't mind the lack of communication.) You said you loved me because I'm pretty and witty but you can find someone better. You don't love me. I'm not going to sit around and wait for you anymore.

All my love,

Sarah Jacobs


"Sarah's breaking up with me." He was nearly breathless, stunned into submission. He could barely believed it. Sarah was right. They had talked about it before, once or twice, but he hadn't expected it like this. "Didn't even have the guts to tell this to my face."

He wanted to be angry at her and it was easy to call her a coward. But he knew she was right. Meeting her was a real challenge, and although she could've gone over to the lodging house, she was breaking up with him because of a lack of effort and communication. If she had worked so hard and did her best to communicate with him while they were in a relationship, it didn't seem fair that she give him the same benefits in their breakup. He deserved every ounce of this, and he knew it. But he didn't want to admit it.

"What? Oh my gosh Jack…I'm so sorry; I thought it was just a normal love letter from her. I had no idea…" David cringed at the idea of being the messenger of doom. And Jack, who was prone to be angry with the wrong person, could unleash his wrath on him.

"It ain't your fault Davey." He was being surprisingly civil.

"No one saw this coming."

"I should've. I knew she was feeling this way. I shouda done something about it while I had the chance."

"So you two are done? Just like that?"

Jack paused for a moment. "No. No we're not." He could almost hear her speaking to him. Fight for me, Jack. If you want me, you have to fight for it. "I'm not going to let that happen." He ripped a piece of paper from the newspaper- the blankest one he could find. "You got a pen?" David shook his head. Disappointed, Jack headed off at twice his walking pace, his steps quickening with purpose. David had to run to catch up.

"Where are we going?"

"Stay here and watch Les. I'm going back to the lodging house real quick. I need to write something."