Title: Marchin' On
Author: KouenTaisa [on ] Chedders
Rating: K+
Fandom: NCIS
Pairing: so small you can't see it Gabby, and if you want, Kate/Gibbs
Status: Finished
Category: Hurt/Comfort/Angst
Spoilers: spoilers for Kill Ari Pt. 2/Twilight/Hiatus Pt. 2
Summary: He was supposed to be heading to Mexico right about now, but he didn't think the sun and sand would mind if he took a small detour.
A/N: So I've recently finished Kill Ari (both parts) and so you'll probably be getting a lot of Kibbs stuff, some Giva, and then a finishing chapter for Airplanes, but I just wanted to write this and get it out, because, you know, you just can't forget Kate.

He was supposed to be heading to Mexico right about now, but he didn't think the sun and sand would mind if he took a small detour. The place he had in mind was small and he had only been there once before, but that was almost two years ago. Still, he remembered where he was going and as he parked the rental car close to the ditch, he felt a weight settled on his chest. She deserved more visits, and he made a promise to himself that if he ever did come back this way, she would get more.

Glancing over at the flowers that he had purchased from the airport gift shop, he hesitated for a moment. Two years was a long time, but he couldn't leave without saying goodbye to all of his team, and that included her. Sighing, he grabbed up the flowers and got out of the car, walking through the grass, glancing at the occasional headstone until he finally reached his destination.

Caitlin Todd.

Her name was engraved into the beautiful stone, followed by the two dates that defined the span of her life. Below that was a quote from the bible, but he didn't pay it much mind, instead focusing in on the small flag that was standing near the headstone. It had been there awhile, probably something from Memorial Day, but it was weathering the elements well enough. Taking a moment to look at the other flowers and small decorations, he felt the knot in his chest relax a little. Despite what he might have expected, she was well taken care of here and it eased the lingering guilt he felt for not coming to visit since her actual funeral.

Gibbs knelt down, placing the flowers in front of her grave, but not immediately moving to get up. Staying crouched down, he let his fingers trail over the cold stone as he remembered her. He remembered the fire in her eyes the first time he met her upon Air Force One… remembered thinking how much he would like to kiss that satisfied look off of her face, but he never did. Gibbs took time to remember her smiles and the out raged looks she would give Tony after he pulled some stupid stunt.

Letting his fingers trace out her name, he remembered the smile she gave him while talking… remembered that the smile was quickly followed by the loss of life in her eyes as she dropped dead to the ground with a bullet hole through her forehead. In the days after her death, his life had been filled with anger and guilt and the need to have Ari Haswari's blood on his hands. After her funeral, his days had been spent trying to find a way to recover from the sudden lose of feeling, because he no longer needed revenge and he could only be angry at himself.

Exhaling deeply, he pulled his hand away, moving to sit down when his knees started to ache too much. Sitting in front of her grave with his arms resting on his knees, he stared at her name carved into the stone, wondering if there had been a small chance he could have saved her. Wondering what it would be like if she hadn't died on that rooftop two years ago. He had a feeling that she could still be as feisty as ever. That perhaps he wouldn't be catching a flight in two hours that would take him to Mexico and away from DC. He can't help but think of the heart break in Abby's eyes, and he has a feeling that if Kate were still around, she would've tracked him down the Mexico and made him come back to fix her best friend. He probably wouldn't have given in immediately, but she would've tried. It almost made him smile.

Gibbs remained in front of her grave for half an hour, just sitting and thinking, letting the memories wash over him until it wasn't only his head hurting, but his heart as well. Kate hadn't needed to die, but she had died saving him, and the least he could do was try to stay alive for as long as possible. Save as many people as possible, but first, he had a small hiatus to take.

He arranged the flowers one last time before getting up, offering the grave stone a solitary nod before he turned and left, heading back to the rental car that he would drive to the airport. From there he would get on a plane that would take him to Mexico where he planned to stay for as long as humanly possible, enjoying the sun, sand, and beer. Maybe, with time, he would return to DC, but right now he couldn't really think about that. Everything was too fresh, and as he cast one last glance over his shoulder at the gravestone with the miniature flag, Gibbs knew that as long as he kept moving, he'd eventually get to where he needed to be.