Disclaimer: I don't own Torchwood or Buffy the Vampire Slayer.

No Rest for the Wicked

Jack Harkness was a broken man. The First liked that about him. But more than that, the First liked that he fixed himself. The First liked that very much because Jack was very bad at fixing himself, always putting pieces back together in the wrong places, held together by barely more than sticky glue and duct tape, yet still being just repaired enough that he could work.

The First thought that it could have a lot of fun with Jack Harkness.

It felt compelled to introduce itself, and so convinced an unemployed widower who had just declared bankruptcy to jump off a five story building, right onto the ground three feet in front of Jack. Had the First not been an omnipotent manifestation of all the cruelty in the universe, this task may have been difficult to time, but it all went so delightfully well that the First had the opportunity to sweeten the experience by having the dead man's daughter witness the event as well.

The First spent a moment savoring the girl's anguished cries, but soon excused itself to follow Jack, who had left the scene almost immediately. His pant legs were splattered with the man's blood and brain matter, and he left a trail of crimson footprints behind him as he fled.

The First looked at the mess it had created, and saw that it was good.

Later that night, the First visited Jack in the dead man's body, skull still cracked wide open and joints at impossible angles. It enjoyed very much Jack's useless attempts to kill it. The ringing of gunshots in the air combined with Jack's determined shouting sounded musical. His rage and fear tickled the First pleasantly.

Still, it would be no good to have all of its fun in one night. The First left as quickly as it appeared, leaving Jack panting for breath and staring at the bullet holes riddling the wall of his apartment.

The First waited a week before returning, appearing as the dead man's daughter. She had hung herself just yesterday, and the First enjoyed recreating her death perfectly for Jack.

Jack stood stock still as he watched the young girl he barely recognized place a thick rope around her neck, crying softly to herself. She hesitated for a moment, and Jack reached out, but she steeled herself, kicked out the chair from underneath her, and was dead.

The body hung from the ceiling for a long moment. Jack approached it on shaky legs, and attempted to untie the noose. His hands slipped through the girl's neck, and the body disappeared.

The First lingered outside the window for a long while afterwards, savoring the taste of Jack's despair.

It reminded the First strongly of strawberry ice-cream.

Three more days passed before the First returned to Jack's apartment, this time as a sunny-faced boy of about ten. The First had been planning to save this one for later, but it was very eager to see what it could provoke from Jack.

It was truly delightful to watch the blood drain from Jack's face, to hear his horror-filled murmur: "Stephen…"

The First gave Jack a big smile through the blood streaming from his nose and ears. There was a long moment of quiet, which was broken only by the sounding of a single gunshot.

The First couldn't remember a happier moment of its existence than when it watched Jack Harkness blow his own brains out, and it felt distinctly satisfied with this meeting. Still, it couldn't bring itself to leave until Jack had revived, couldn't resist waving a cheerful farewell and calling "See you later, Uncle Jack!" behind itself as it disappeared from Jack's apartment.

The First conducted many more experiments of this type over the next month. Sometimes the First would be disappointed in Jack, who tired to look away from most the First's physically horrific guises. Still, Jack fell from of his balcony for the Welsh tea boy. He drowned himself for the twice-dead medic and the genius girl.

The First could have this continued forever. And, joyfully, it realized, it could. Because the First was eternal, but so was Jack and wasn't that just fantastic?

Jack's wince at the word, the way he was cringed away from the First's, unable to accept this one face as the First's… Jack's misery was beautiful.

The First thought it could very well fall in love with Jack Harkness if it wasn't careful. It made sure to tell Jack as much, and was very pleased with itself when Jack drank a half gallon of vodka with a bottle of sleeping pills.

But it was less happy when Jack decided to run away. The First enjoyed the Earth very much, and leaving was such a chore after being so closely linked to the Hellmouth.

Still, the First wouldn't mind seeing the stars. It could use a vacation.

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A/N: I don't know where this came from. It actually kind of disturbs me... it ended up much darker than I originally intended. The First is actually torturing Jack, making him live through his worst fears, basically (failing to protect people, seeing again what he did to Stephen, the deaths of his friends that he blames himself for). I'd REALLY like to hear what you thought. Because I'm really unsure how I feel about this fic, because it's so far away from what I usually write.

I think I'm going to have to write some serious crack to make myself feel better.

Please tell me your opinions, or point out any mistakes I've made! ^_^