I can't believe I'm doing this. Once again my date with Sam was a bust, once again I'm going to Derek. Most people think of me as some holyer then thou goody two shoes who would never do anything 'wrong'. God if only they knew me.
I grabbed the joint from Derek's fingers hoping it would let me forget about the failure of a relationship I had. Sam was so sweet and kind but it just wasn't enough.
At first I just dealt with it but soon after it started, I ran to Derek. No matter how much I hated him I wanted nothing more then to continue what we have. I'm not even sure we have anything all, but what ever it is is glorious.
The joint began to wither away and I knew what came next. God do I hate that I love what we do. I'm not exactly sure how it all started but What I do know is after every date with Sam I get high with Derek and wake up in his bed the next morning.
When the sun hits my face Sunday morning I quietly slither out of his grip and onto the floor to gather my clothing. Getting into my room is the hardest part. With three other siblings the probability of getting caught is very high.
Sometimes I wish we would get caught so I would have an excuse to stop, I know it's wrong but I just can't. Stopping seems harder then actually doing anything else.
"Casey..."
I held my breath not knowing what to do. He's never been awake. He's never talked to me after until others are around.
"Yeah..."
I whispered hoping he was just talking in his sleep.
"Don't go."
I never expected him to want me around. I always thought I was just convenient, never i a million years would I have thought he would want me to stay.
But I did.
