17/11/2009
Winston letter to Julia
To my one and only true love, Julia,
I never thought our last goodbye would be through a piece of paper, but we knew this would eventually occur. We were ready to be captured at any moment, in fact every time I was around you it felt so surreal that I always had a suspicion that it would all be a dream and that when I was abruptly awoke, with the sound of sirens, I would find myself in a dilemma with the thought police due to the fact that I was somehow, subconsciously, voicing my feelings of hatred towards big brother, aloud. The last few weeks spent with you were the best in my life I've never had so much pleasure from simply being around someone, neither physically or mentally. You have given me the best thing that could be given to anyone for free, LOVE. I didn't know I even had it in me to have these types of mannerisms towards someone.
My life was boring, dull and anything but joyful; however my whole world was spun on its heels when you dropped that note into my aged, rough hands. As I have told you before, I always had very temperamental feelings towards you. They would change from hatred to pure yearning to an over whelming desire to kill you, all in the blink of an eye. I, now, realise that this is what most people who are lucky enough to fall in love go through, although the need to harm you by some means has completely disappeared, as have my feelings of hatred towards you. In my current hellish situation, I would like to tell you that I LOVE YOU. My overdue, forever over looming, death has been drawn out for as long as possible, I have tried my best to fight them and to struggle through every choke, cut, electric shock and stretch. I don't think I will be able to hold on for much longer, especially since my next voyage out of my cell, I will have to go all the way to the end, to room 101. They announced it a few minutes or maybe hours ago, I can never tell the difference anymore, everyone in my cell looked at me, some seemed sympathetic, some seemed worried and sad, figuring out that this is where they would end up going eventually, and some just seemed indifferent or slightly happy, as happy as one can be knowing that their death is coming very soon, at the fact that there would be more space in this small crowded cell.
This is my last inclination, before my last trip down the corridor to the well known and dreaded, room 101, where people go and never ever return. I do hope that they respect and honour the wishes of a dead man, even if that man might have betrayed his own government. I hope that through this letter you will understand me and my complex mind more clearly. I love you Julia.
Love Winston. I do hope you know that I am yours faithfully and forever.
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