Leroy turned his wedding ring on his left hand using his thumb as he waited for the red light to change. He'd just left practice for the day and was headed towards the upscale loft that he was fortunate enough to afford. On any other day the prospect of going home to his family was a great one and always seemed to bring a smile to his face, but for the last couple of days going home meant utter turmoil and it left his spirit a chaotic mess.
A horn beeping behind him aggressively jarred him out of his own mind and he slammed on the gas pedal, lurching his sports car forward and through the green light. Sighing heavily, Leroy rubbed his hand over his ever growing beard. It needed to be tamed but they were in the middle of a winning season and it looked as if the Yankees were going to make it all the way this year, so once again he found himself conforming for the benefit of others.
Finally arriving to his building, he drove into the underground parking garage and zoomed into his parking space. Taking a deep breath he got out of his car quickly and headed towards the elevators. 'I'm a man and I can do this', he kept saying over and over to himself.
"Good evening Mr. Berry" said one of the security guards from their building. He was in his booth and tilting his hat towards Leroy.
"Evening Sanders" replied Leroy courteously.
"Y'all looking good this year, hoping a world series is in the future" said Sanders with a smile.
"You and me both" smiled Leroy tightly as he made his way into the elevator and nodded in appreciation as the doors closed behind him.
As the elevator moved up towards the upper level loft, he could feel the tightness and anticipation in his stomach. He hadn't heard a word from his wife all day and the argument they had the day before (the worse one of their entire marriage) was still playing on repeat in his mind. Harsh words were spoken, things were thrown in his direction, and she'd smacked and hit him a few good times; and it was all was because he spoke the truth. For the first time in his adult life he had the audacity to speak the truth and so far it wasn't going in a way he'd hoped. Her reaction was to be expected, in fact she had the right to be as angry as she was…he never thought he would see her so wounded though. And it was that look in her eyes that haunted Leroy the most. He knew without a shadow of doubt that he hurt her in such a way that it would have a lasting and almost lifelong effect.
The elevator dinged and he walked out and towards his loft. Unlocking the door and stepping in, he immediately knew that something was off and panic began to rise in him. The first thing he noticed was that it was entirely too quiet. Normally when he came home, he would hear the sound of his kids playing and then the both of them running to greet him at the door, while his wife would come from either the kitchen or living room to greet him with a smile. Even though Shelby hadn't greeted him in the last couple of days, his kids always did.
Silence is what greeted him today and it set him on edge. Walking through the kitchen and into the dining room he looked around and noticed that everything was perfect and its proper place. Again, not normal. He was used to seeing arts and crafts all on the table that the kids had worked on before he gotten home, but today, nothing.
Leroy walked into the living room and his stomach dropped as he saw a simple note and what looked to be his wife's engagement and wedding ring sitting on top of it. He felt his eyes watering as he slowly made his way over to the note that he knew would change everything.
I want a divorce. Contact me through my lawyer. Everything that belonged to me I took. Bobby Goldstein 212-555-0218
It was simple and to the point. He'd just lost his wife.
Immediately he thought about his children and dropped the note to run to his kid's room. Checking both rooms, everything seemed to be normal in both rooms but his kids were missing.
Anger began to replace panic as he thought about the fact that she left and it was beginning to look like she'd taken his kids with her. Leroy quickly ran towards their room, to see if anything was different there. As soon as he flung the door open he saw his son and daughter in the middle of the king size bed fast asleep. A wave of relief washed over him as he scanned the room. He noticed a bottle of sleepy time cough syrup sitting on the night stand and he felt his nostrils flare.
Grant it the kids had been getting over a cold, but he knew the real reason she gave them the medicine.
It was so they could sleep so she could sneak out without them making a big fuss about it.
She'd left him. She'd left her son and daughter.
Angry tears fell off his face as he began pacing back and forth, watching his beautiful babies breathing slowly and sleeping contently. It was his fault, of that he was sure and this was the consequence. He expected for her to lash out at him but not the kids. They were innocent in all of this.
He went into their walk in closet and noticed every last piece of her clothing and belongings was gone. Suit cases, dresses, jewelry…all gone; the realization caused him to fall to his knees as the reality of his situation really started to process. Tears continued to fall as he looked around, shock apparent all over his face.
He sat down completely and covered his mouth with his hands as he began having the worse cry of his life, right in the middle of his closet. He choked back sobs, so as not to wake up his children. He face was completely soaked with tears as his heart filled with the pain and hurt of the entire situation.
When he told her the truth, he expected for her to leave…but not like this. He didn't think she would turn her back on their kids. She made it clear with her note that she didn't consider them hers and that from now on that he would be responsible for them, instantly making him a single parent.
Leroy grieved in that closet for a while. He grieved the loss of his wife and marriage due to his own dishonesty. But most of all he grieved for his children because they lost their mother. She'd walked out on them and he knew he would have to explain why, and more importantly deal with their feelings, which would undoubtedly include abandonment and insecurity. Leroy Alexander Berry was in for quite a ride and he knew that he needed help.
He let out the last of his tears for the moment before wiping his face and getting off of the closet floor. His children were still asleep in the middle of the bed so he walked over to the phone and dialed a familiar number. After a few rings his mother picked up; "Hello" she answered with a cheery voice.
"Hey mom" he said trying to sound as normal as possible.
"What's wrong?" she asked immediately with concern laced in her voice.
"How'd you know something was wrong?" he asked brokenly.
"A mother knows her child" replied his mother softly, "now tell me what's wrong."
Leroy recounted the events of the last couple of days softly into the phone, so he didn't wake his children. He was rubbing their backs in a comforting manner as he explained, trying his best not to break down at the most sensitive parts.
"Where are Noah and Rachel now?" asked his mother once he finished.
"Lying right beside me" he responded "She put them to sleep early using over the counter cough medicine. "
He heard his mother sigh heavily into the phone and mumble something angrily, "Your father and I will be there tonight."
"Dad too?" said Leroy slightly alarmed, "I don't know how I feel about that" he replied.
"Your father loves you unconditionally. Always have since the time you were born. We know our children Leroy, and we've known about the real you for some time. We were just waiting for you to be honest with yourself. And now that you have, we can finally have this conversation that should've been had years ago. You being gay doesn't change our love for you, son" said his mother.
Leroy stayed quiet in response; he honestly didn't know how to respond.
"Are you hearing me?"
"Yes ma'am…I-I'm just trying to work through everything and process this" he replied.
"Well first thing you need to do is get those babies up and moving, cause if you don't they'll be up at two in the morning, bright eyed and bushy tailed. Tell them grandma and granddad is coming over with chicken nuggets and toys" she said, causing Leroy to smirk for what felt like the first time in days. "Play with them and when they ask where their mom is be honest and say you're not sure, but remind them you're right there. You have to be mama and daddy for them now."
"Yes ma'am" he answered tearfully.
"You aren't alone, we're right here with you and we will always have your back" she said, "now go on and we'll be there soon. I love you" said his mother.
"Love you too" he responded before they both hung up. Looking over to his right he examined the innocence of his baby girl and boy. Rachel was sucking on her binky and her eyes were closed displaying those beautiful long lashes of hers. Already two years old and full of her own personality, they'd been trying to get rid of her pacifier for a while now, but the small child was putting up a good fight. He brushed his hand through her dark tresses and began massaging her scalp lightly, "wakey, wakey princess" sung out Leroy softly. After a few seconds he saw her eyes flutter and then her entire face light up as she recognized that he was there.
"Daddy!" said Rachel happily as she looked up at him. Her pacifier fell out and she quickly picked it up and placed it back in her mouth before holding out her arms.
"Hey baby girl" whispered Leroy as he scooped her up quickly and pressed her tiny body against his chest. Rachel's head instantly fell where his heart was and he placed several kisses on top of her curly head as he fought away tears. How truly unfair all of this was to his seeds. They didn't deserve this but he knew they would be living with the consequences of all of this for the rest of their lives.
"Daddy, wake up No-a" said Rachel around her pacifier.
"Okay princess" replied Leroy. He leaned over and started rubbing Noah's hair gently, while still clutching Rachel. His baby boy began whimpering slightly as he buried his head into the pillow and started shaking his head back and forth. "Up No-a" said Rachel loudly. Noah's head rose slightly as the three year old began blinking his eyes, trying his best to wake up.
"Hey there son" said Leroy, "How's my prince doing today?" he asked once Noah was up and looking around.
"I'm doing good" responded Noah as he sat up and crossed his legs. It always took him awhile to fully wake, but once he was, watch out world. His son was all boy and everything that went with that.
Rachel began shaking back and forth letting Leroy know that she wanted to be placed down. As soon as he released her, Rachel crawled over to Noah and sat directly next to him and laid her head on his shoulder. Noah just looked at his little sister for a bit, seeming to still be in a fog as Leroy watched both of his children.
"Daddy" said Noah as he begun looking around the room and analyzing his surroundings, "where's mommy?" At the mention of the woman, Rachel's head popped up and she began looking around as well.
"She went out for a while" Leroy replied softly as he tried keeping his emotions in check.
"She come back?" Rachel asked as both of his children looked up at him with wide eyes.
"Of course she is…a little later" said Leroy with a fake smile, "but guess what?" he asked excitedly.
"What?!" said both Rachel and Noah clearly intrigued.
"Guess who's coming over!" said Leroy with an abundance of fake energy.
"Who?!" the both of them seemed to yell in response as they sat up.
"Granny and Granddad!" shouted Leroy. It was necessary to put on this fake show because internally it felt like a hurricane was going off leaving a mess of his emotions and reasoning. He chuckled as both of his kids gasped and began smiling from ear to ear.
"Really!" exclaimed Noah as he stood up and began jumping up and down, with Rachel right behind him.
"Really!" responded Leroy as he laughed slightly at his children. Their innocence never ceased to amaze him and he made a vow right then to keep them as innocent as possible for as long as possible. They had the rest of their lives to be grownups.
"C'mon" said Leroy as he got off the bed, "let's go get ready for when they come" he said as he helped them both off of the bed and onto the floor. As soon as their small feet hit the ground they took off running.
Leroy's face immediately dropped as they ran out of the bedroom. He had to keep it together for their sake. Every decision from then on out would be for their benefit and theirs alone. Holding off the truth to prevent them pain was the best thing that could be done at the moment.
