------------- As usual belongs to the Grant Naylor productions etc... For the members of The RDSS and especially Tronella who dedicated a fic to me.i was rather chuffed about that. Also as always for Rents who as I write this is off to Texas for a while and he better Write to me!--------------
Better Than Sex?
By Littlemissmosh
"Ace…"A seductive voice, cooed, "…an urgent appeal is coming through from Reality 630, apparently it's a personal emergency. The mechanoid onboard assured me that if I said the codeword Prawn Biriani you'd understand immediately. "The computer winked before blinking off .Ace knew everything in those two potent spicy words that he would ever have too.
Lister in Trouble.
The last human had a taste for spiced king prawns doused in molten lava. However it was unfortunate that Lister was allergic to all seafood .To ever taste this delicacy would swell his bottom painfully like a blue arsed baboon, the pain due to well, I suppose constant use (he would have bedsores from sitting on the toilet that long), would make Lister feel like a rent boy on mimas who had been cuffed to the bed as the entire Red dwarf crew fresh on shore-leave took a turn with him. Much like a first time rent boy he would also bleed from that area. However when they last landed on a habitable planet neither pain or fear of his gut exploding had not been enough to stop Lister trying to turn an entire ocean into that succulent sauce which he craved, before using a mining buggy to scoop it into his cavernous gob. After that incident the next time starbug had landed on a planet with an ocean Lister had been left sedated in the medical bay while Kryten and Cat had went to salvage supplies.
Lister sat motionless. Kryten moped his brow and tried to pour some water into Lister's dry mouth. A look of concern creased Kryten's plastic features. He was sure that Mr Lister would not survive.
Cat shook his head. He had told his buddy not to drink the paint stripper he had found in the maintenance cupboard but Lister said that paint stripper was all he had had to drink on his 16th birthday in the orphanage and as tonight was a night of reminisance he had to indulge himself. Then he'd ended up staggering around sobbing bout old admiral Smeg for Brains and how he "shouldn't have let him go.." but Cat had figured he was crazy. Rimmer was dead and gone .Cat figured that the monkey was probably thinking of that sex good Ace. Cat sighed. That guy made Cat's mirror jealous cause Cat spent more time looking at him than he did at himself.
Ace steered the ship into the cargo bay. He piloted a superb landing. The cockpit door opened with a hiss of pistons. His partly -obscured head flicked a crop of pure spun gold out of the deepest eyes in the quadrant.
Cat smiled "What a Guy!"
Ace had arrived.
Better Than Sex?
By Littlemissmosh
"Ace…"A seductive voice, cooed, "…an urgent appeal is coming through from Reality 630, apparently it's a personal emergency. The mechanoid onboard assured me that if I said the codeword Prawn Biriani you'd understand immediately. "The computer winked before blinking off .Ace knew everything in those two potent spicy words that he would ever have too.
Lister in Trouble.
The last human had a taste for spiced king prawns doused in molten lava. However it was unfortunate that Lister was allergic to all seafood .To ever taste this delicacy would swell his bottom painfully like a blue arsed baboon, the pain due to well, I suppose constant use (he would have bedsores from sitting on the toilet that long), would make Lister feel like a rent boy on mimas who had been cuffed to the bed as the entire Red dwarf crew fresh on shore-leave took a turn with him. Much like a first time rent boy he would also bleed from that area. However when they last landed on a habitable planet neither pain or fear of his gut exploding had not been enough to stop Lister trying to turn an entire ocean into that succulent sauce which he craved, before using a mining buggy to scoop it into his cavernous gob. After that incident the next time starbug had landed on a planet with an ocean Lister had been left sedated in the medical bay while Kryten and Cat had went to salvage supplies.
Lister sat motionless. Kryten moped his brow and tried to pour some water into Lister's dry mouth. A look of concern creased Kryten's plastic features. He was sure that Mr Lister would not survive.
Cat shook his head. He had told his buddy not to drink the paint stripper he had found in the maintenance cupboard but Lister said that paint stripper was all he had had to drink on his 16th birthday in the orphanage and as tonight was a night of reminisance he had to indulge himself. Then he'd ended up staggering around sobbing bout old admiral Smeg for Brains and how he "shouldn't have let him go.." but Cat had figured he was crazy. Rimmer was dead and gone .Cat figured that the monkey was probably thinking of that sex good Ace. Cat sighed. That guy made Cat's mirror jealous cause Cat spent more time looking at him than he did at himself.
Ace steered the ship into the cargo bay. He piloted a superb landing. The cockpit door opened with a hiss of pistons. His partly -obscured head flicked a crop of pure spun gold out of the deepest eyes in the quadrant.
Cat smiled "What a Guy!"
Ace had arrived.
