vg

Disclaimer: Brian, Curt, and the lot all belong to Todd Hayes, not me.

This is my first VG fic, I'm afraid it's not too original or exciting, but just please review it, okay?


Drowning. That was what those final months with Brian had been like, drowning in a sea of lies, of drugs, of pain. He'd been desperate to escape that treacherous web of glitter long before that final fight, had in fact considered it several times, but something deep inside him had always balked at the thought of actually leaving Brian. He'd loved him, that selfish pretty-boy, loved him with a love that he hadn't even known he was capable of giving and in return he had gotten - what? His heart beaten up and trampled, rejected for some career that had fallen into pieces within a few months anyway. Given his heart for nothing.

Maybe Brian had never really loved him in the first place, maybe all he'd wanted from Curt was a readily available source of inspiration. Maybe all he'd ever intended was to absorb as much of Curt as possible into his own skin and then cast the source away; it's usefulness expired. That would be typical of Mr. Slade, take whatever he wanted from everyone around him and then toss them aside to struggle up from the thick sea of drama and heartache that he'd built up around himself. Or else drown in the mire.

Curt took another long drag off his cigarette, sucking the toxic smoke back into his lungs. It felt good, the burning sensation running through his body; it reminded him that he was alive while simultaneously destroying himself. An interesting sensation, really, life and death combined in a single breath. Kind of like with heroin; the extraordinary sensation of living that the deadly concoction had given him while at the same time he knew he was seriously fucking himself up. Or with Brian. Yes, that had also been a time when both life and death had been contained in his body. The wonderful sensation of being totally free, totally alive coupled with the knowledge that they were running straight into destruction.

When he'd first heard of Brian's Curt's primary reaction had been one of a kind of glowering satisfaction. So the parasite had finally gone to it's own death. Discovering it was a fake and witnessing the subsequent ruination didn't do anything to change his feelings; he hung on to his grim pleasure that Brian Slade had finally gotten a jolt of reality. The dream had come to it's devastating conclusion, a conclusion everyone had sensed coming months ago. And Brian hadn't made the slightest move to stop it.

And Curt would never move to help Brian out of his personal hell - let him burn; let him pay for all the hearts he had broken, all the lives he had ruined. Let him be forgotten. Let him drown.


If you made it through this, good for you!!!! If you were bored and still kept on reading, good for you!!!! Thanks for sticking through it, even if it might be somewhat boring...